Misunderstood

Chapter One
�Why in the hell do you keep doing this... to... to us!� Alex said starting to get upset with me. �Why Kevin? Or why Nick? Why them even at all?� He said as he kept walking back and fourth in the room. �Because I�ve known them the longest and I trust them, that�s why!� I said as I sat on the bed and tears started falling. �Baby, what am I suppose to do just sit here and let you yell at me or ignore me when I�m having a shity day and nobody to talk too?� I said grabbing a tissue. �You just have know right to just run to them when..!� �What..? Just say it! When I have you to talk too or when I get lonely?� �That�s not...� �Alex, don�t lie. That is exactly what you were thinking! Seems like every time I start to say something you have to come up with a comeback to just upset me!� I said. I then looked up at him. �Alex I love you. Why can�t you see that? I�m doing my damnedest to keep this relationship on tacked!� I asked then said. �How can I! You don�t act like you do!� He yelled as he turned around. �I don�t?! What do you think you�re doing to me? I�ve done my best to make you happy. I make you your favorite dinners, put on my sexist outfit and made passes! You just don�t acknowledge that I�m even here! In the past three months you�re never here for me, you�re always out somewhere, and... Where the hell are you going?� �I can�t stay here with you right now. If I stay here much longer I�ll... I�ll do something that I�ll regret.� He said as he headed out of the bedroom and to the front door. As he was reaching for the doorknob I said something. �Can I just say one thing before you just take off?� I asked following him out. �No, not right now!� He said. I couldn�t keep this from him much longer, so I just told him. �Baby, I�m four months pregnant.� I finally said after three months of wanting to tell him. He stopped on the sidewalk for a second then just took off. �Damn it!� He whispered as he was getting into his jeep and taking off.

I just sat on the porch steps thinking what to do next. I had been sitting there a good two hours when the phone rang. I got up and dried my eyes the best I could before answering. �Hello.� I said in a raspy voice. �Hey Ally.� �Hi Nick.� Sweetie what�s the matter?� Nick asked in a worried tone. �Alex left again.� �Hold on I�ll be there in five.� He said hanging up the phone. I sat the phone back down on the hook and went back to the front porch to sit and wait. Nick was pulling into the drive when he saw me sitting down. He parked his car and came and sat next to me. �What is going on?� Nick asked placing his arm around me and wiping away a tear with his thumb. �Alex is not happy that I turn to you or Kevin when I need someone to talk too. He�s never here for me when I need him the most. You know that.� I said trying my best not to cry. �I know. Did you finally tell him about being pregnant?� �I did. I had to blurt it out as he was leaving.� �And he still left you?� �Nick... I don�t know if he�s even coming back this time. I think after I said it, he�s going to start believing that I slept with you.� I said as more tears fell. �But we know that never happened.� He said placing a tighter hold around me. I placed mine around his waist and put my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes taking in his scent before I spoke. �Nick how long have I known you?� �I don�t know, quite a long time I guess.� �I�ve known you sense you were five. We were always friends even with our age difference.� I said. �I remember. What I remember the most is when you moved to Florida with us because you lost your parents in that plane crash. And my parents took you in.� He said. I remember. I think my fondest memory is when I got that job at Disney.� �That�s when you met Kevin isn�t it?� �He was playing Aladdin when we met.� I said with a smile. �Speaking of, have you called Kevin yet?� �No, I�ve been too upset to call anyone.� I said as I broke down again. �Why is Alex doing this to me? Doesn�t he still...?� I paused. �When was the last time he told you that he loved you?� I sat there a moment to think. �I don�t know? It had to have been before I got pregnant.� I said pulling back from him. �He must love you if he�s been willing to stay with you this long.� He said looking at me. �I just don�t want to loose him Nick. We�ve been together now for almost six-years and I�m afraid of losing him.� �I know you don�t.� He said.

Few minutes later, Alex�s jeep pulled up in the driveway. He got out and headed over to where we were sitting. �Ally.� He said strolling over. I looked up at him still crying. �Yeah.� I said wiping my face. �I�ll leave you two, to talk.� Nick said. �No, Nick you need to hear this.� Alex said then looked back at me. �Baby, I want to apologize to you for everything I�ve done wrong to you. I don�t have the right to tell you whom you can and can�t talk too. You, Nick and Kevin have been friends longer than we have and I don�t want to brake the bond that you three have.� He said as I looked over at Nick. �I also want to apologize for never being there for you when you needed me. I�m the asshole for treating you like shit.� He said as he placed his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. �Baby you�re not an asshole, just misunderstood that�s all.� I said getting up and placing my hand on his cheek. He placed his hand on mine then continued. �I also want to say that I do love you. I will always love you. I may not say it enough but the love I have for you is unconditional. But I need to know just one thing.� He looked over at Nick then back at me. �Have you...? Did you...?� �Did I sleep with Nick during the last few months or ever in our relationship? No, Nick and I have never slept together sexually. But we have slept together in the same bed. But that was when we were still kids.� I said. �Have you ever thought about...� �It�s has never crossed my mind in the least. Nick is like my little brother. We grew up together. You are the only man I think about.� �What about Kevin? You used to date him.� �Yes that�s true. But Kevin is happily married now and I�ve excepted that. But Kevin and I will always be close.� I said. �So the child that you�re carrying is mine?� �Yes. We�re having a baby.� I said placing my hands on my stomach. Alex fell to his knees and placed his arms around me and placed his head on my stomach and started to cry. �I love you so much!� He whispered. �I love you too.� I said placing my hands on his head. Nick got back up and was heading to his car when Alex blurted out something. �Nick can you call the guys and have them meet us at LOGINS for dinner?� �Sure. What time?� �Tell them... Tell them seven-thirty.� �Will do.� He said getting into his car.

At around six o�clock I was standing in the bedroom waiting for Alex to finish getting dressed. I was wearing a dark blue dress that was knee high with spaghetti straps and black flats. I�m just surprised that it still fit with the belly that was forming. I also had my hair down the way Alex likes it and a little make-up on. When he walked out he was stunned to see me in what I was wearing. �Wow, baby you look amazing.� He said placing his hands on my waist and pulling me close to him. �You look amazing yourself.� I said smiling at him. He was wearing blue jean, and a dark blue, long sleeve polo shirt and combat boot. When we got to the front door Alex kept looking at me and smiling. I smiled back at him. At the restaurant everyone was there. Kevin and Kristin, Brian, Leighanne and Baylee, Howie and his girlfriend, and Nick and his date. They all looked amazing all dressed up. �I think I under dressed.� Alex whispered to me. �I think you�re just fine in what you have on.� I whispered back. When we got to the table Alex pulled the chair out for me so I was sitting next Kevin on one side and Alex on the other. We all talked for awhile before we ordered dinner.

After dinner while everyone was talking, I was having a conversation with Kevin when I felt Alex�s hand start rubbing the back of my neck. I glanced over at Alex and he seemed distinct from the rest of the guys lately and I was worried. �Will you marry me?� Alex said out of know where. �What was that?� Kevin asked looking over at him. �Allison, will you marry me?� He said turning his head then grabbed my hand. I turned around to look back at him in shock. �Alex I don�t know what to say.� Everyone at the table fell silent. Until Baylee yelled out. �Daddy I need to pee!� Brian grabbed him and left for the bathroom. Then Alex continued. �Then say you will.� I looked deep into his eyes before responding to his question. �No.� Was all I could say as he looked at me. �What?� �I�m sorry. I just don�t think you�re ready to make that commitment.� I said feeling bad. �Baby, I wouldn�t be asking if I weren�t ready to commit to you. We�ve been together for almost six years. You�re carrying my child and I love you.� �That�s just it. We�ve been together six years, but it�s not been a physical six years when I barely ever see you or you don�t trust the people I talk too. I also know that I am carrying you child and I�m happy to be having your baby but...� �Are you breaking up with me?� �Alex no. I love you, but I just don�t think you�re truly ready to settle down to just one woman." I said as I held his hand in mine. As I was looking at him I could see the tension rising in him and I felt that he just wanted to leave.

I couldn�t just have him storm out on me just because I told him no. I wanted him to understand why I say it. It wasn�t that I didn�t love him, I do. I can�t live my life without him. �Alex?� �Explain to me why... why you can�t or won�t marry me!� �It�s not that I can�t or won�t marry you, it�s just that I want to make sure you are fully prepared to settle.� I said as his grip on my hand got tighter. �Baby, I do want to marry you, because I love you so much. I can�t imagine my life with out you in it.� I said as his grip started to loosen. �How will I know when I�m ready?� Alex asked. �It won�t be easy to do, but you�ll know. You just have to want it to get it.� I said giving him a small smile. �Will you be here to help me?� �Of course. Baby I�m always here for you. You just have to be here for me and...� �Our baby.� He whispered. �Yeah, the baby too.� I said placing my hand on his face. �Did I just hear that Allison is having a baby?� Brian said sitting back down at the table. �Yes you did you dork.� Leighanne said slugging her husband. �Hey, I didn�t know.� Brian said. �Where have you been?� Nick said to him. �Ahh, the bathroom.� Brian said flashing a cheesy grin. I was still concerned about Alex when he stood up. �I�ve got to leave.� Alex said. �Would you like me to come with you?� I asked. �Thanks, but I need some time to myself to think for awhile.� �Are you sure?� �Yeah. I�ll just see you back at the house.� He said leaning in for a kiss before heading for the exit. �Alex wait.� I said following him to the door. He turned around. �Are you mad at me for what I said back there?� �No. I was, but I understand now what you are getting at and I agree. I want this to work between us so I�m going to do what ever it takes to make us a better couple.� He said as I sighed. �I love you.� I whispered as I pulled him into a hug. �Baby, I love you too. Now let me go so I can get some thinking done.� He said kissing my cheek. �Okay, I�ll see you later then.� I said as I watched him leave the building. Then I headed back to the group.

Chapter Two
Back at the table Brian was still clueless to what just happened. “If you weren’t messing around with Baylee you would have a clue to what just happened.” Nick said throwing a bread roll at Brian. “Hey, what was that for?” Brian said throwing it back but hitting Kevin instead. “Hey, watch it cuz!” Kevin picking up the roll, throwing it and missing Brian, hitting Howie on the side of the head with it. “Oooh, sorry ‘D’.” Kevin said trying to apologize. “Come on guys, cut it out.” Kristin said trying to control the guys. Just then a spoon full of mash potato came flying out of no where and hitting me in the side of the face. “THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW!!” As I stood up and yelled as a roll flew through the air and missing me. “Guys this is crazy. You’re getting all wound up and your also encouraging Baylee. Leighanne said as she grabbed Baylee and left the restaurant. “Are my two babies alright?” Kevin asked Kristin. “Yes, were both fine. But the four of you are all acting like little kids. Can’t you guys act like mature adults for once, while we’re in public?” Kristin said while holding her belly and trying to get the potato out of my hair. “Kristin, I’m okay. You don’t have to do this.” I said as the tears started. Then I got up and left.

I was sitting out front when Kevin came out to join me. “Baby, I’m sorry about that.” He said as I fell into his arms and just cried. “It’s not your fault.” I said barely in a whisper. “You did what you thought was the right thing.” He said. “Kevin, I’m just afraid this isn’t going to work.” “Why do you think that?” “Because I put too much on him to take all at once.” “If I know AJ, I know he’ll be able to handle it.” He said. “Just have faith in him.” Brain said walking over to us. “That’s the thing, I do have faith in him. I just don’t know if he has faith in himself to make this work.” I said to Brian. “I just have one more thing to say to you. If AJ is willing to work on this relationship, it’ll work out.” “So it’s now in god’s hands?” I asked. “No, it’s now in AJ’s hands.” Brian said. “Oh, Kev. If it’s okay with you, I’m going to need a ride home. Leighanne left to take Baylee home.” “Not a problem.” Kevin said. “Thanks.” Brian said heading back inside.

I sat in Kevin’s arms for a good while in silence. “Kevy, what ever happened between us? Were we happy together?” I asked looking up at him. He sat here just staring out. Then he sighed. “I think we were.” “But what really happened?” “I guess when I first meet you... I kind of took advantage of you.” I looked at him hurt for what he had just said. “What are you talking about?” He closed his eyes, and sighed big before continuing.” “Baby I was almost nineteen when I meet you. You were sixteen and still in high school.” “So what? We still dated for almost six years. I was twenty-two when we broke up.” I said. “But my mistake was taking advantage of you at a young age.” “Do you feel sorry for dating me?” “Baby, god no. You were the first girlfriend who understood me. You were also there when my father passed. The only problem was when I told my folks about you they were tickled pick that I was dating but not thrilled about your age. Jerald and Tim thought it was funny that I was dating a baby and I should grow up. But that just made me love you even more.” He said looking at me. “It was kind of like what my grandparents said.” “What was that?” “They always told me to stop acting my age and grow-up, but when I told them about you they wanted me to leave you and to find someone my age that you were to grown-up for me. Of course I didn’t listen to them because I...” I paused. “You loved me too.” “Yeah, I did.” I said looking him in his emerald green eyes. “But what happened between us?” I asked again. “I think I was getting to that age where I was ready to settle down and get married.” “And I wasn’t.” I paused again. “But why did we stay together all those years if you knew I wasn’t the one?” Kevin fell silent. “Kev?” I said as a tear fell. “Kevy?” I said again. This time he placed his hand on my cheek and wiped the tears away. “Because I couldn’t love you the way I should have loved you. I wanted you to be happy with someone other than me for the rest of you life. I pretty much took away your childhood when I asked you to join us.” I pulled back from him in total shock. “You never took away my childhood. I lost it in that plane when it crashed killing both my parents.” I said as more tears fell. “Kevin I will always treasure what we both had. You were the first person in my life to complete me body, mind and soul. I will never forget that.” I said still crying. “I know this is not something I should be saying because of Kristin and new baby. But... I still love you.” I said then whispered. “Baby girl, I still love you too. But right now you have a man waiting for you at home who also loves you.” “I do love him.” I whispered as a small grin ran across my face. “Tell me the story of how you two met.” “You know how we me.” I said. “I know, but tell me the whole story.” He asked. “I guess so.” I said as I got comfortable in his arms. “Well, I was sitting at home in Florida talking on the phone with Nick’s sister BJ when Denise knocked on the door.

(Flashback)
“Hey Denise, what can I do for you?” I said. “I need you to fly out to Arizona.” She said. “Why, what’s in Arizona?” I asked in shock. “Alex admitted himself into rehab a few weeks ago and he’s asking you to support him by visiting him.” “Why isn’t Sarah...” “She broke up with him.” She said. “Oh.” I said sitting down on the couch. “But why me?” I paused. But before Denise spoke I continued. “I guess if he really needs someone.” “Great. Here’s your ticket. You’re on the Redeye for tonight’s flight. I’ve booked you a room at the Holiday Inn.” “So I should pack for the next few months?” “That would help.” Denise and I talked for a while as I was packing before she took me to the airport. I landed in Arizona the next morning and headed to Hertz to rent a car before going to the Hotel.

Two days later I got a call from the Clinic Alex was saying at. They said I could come visit him anytime. I gathered my things and drove out to see him. While standing in the waiting room for him I was getting nervous. Then I saw him. He walked out slowly looking at the ground before looking up. When he finally looked up he saw me standing there and a huge grin ran across his face. We ran to each other and embraced in a hug. We started crying. “Hey baby.” He whispered. “Hi Alex. How are you doing?” I said then asked. “Much better now that you’re here.” We held each other a little longer before I pulled back from him. “Alex what happened? What made you decide to finally do this?” I asked. “Kevin.” He whispered. “What did Kevin do?” “He gave me an altamaidum. Either I clean up my act or get out. And, it got me thinking.” “I’m glad you’re doing this.” I said smiling as our tears fell. “How long are you staying in Arizona?” He asked. “However long it takes for you to get better.” I said placing my hand on his cheek. “You’re staying here, for me? Why?” “Alex you’re my best friend and I care about you. I want to see you better.”

Chapter Three
Over the next two months, Alex and I saw each other on a regular basis. “Ally tell me again why you’re here?” I wanna see Backstreet back in action. I wanna see you singing and having a good time. I wanna see you happy and healthy. I wanna see you all happy. I wanna...” That’s when it happened. Alex leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my lips. When he finally pulled back I was speechless. I sat there with my eyes still closed and just touched my lips. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Ah, huh.” I said. Then I finally opened my eye to look at him. Alex had moved closer. “May I kiss you again?” Without even answering I leaned in and captured his lips to mine. This time we had added a little more passion to it. Then he asked as he tried to catch his breath. “Baby, I’ve known you now for almost ten years.” “I know.” I responded trying to catch my breath. “Before I knew you were dating Kevin, I wanted to ask you out. But when the two of you broke it off I wanted to asked but I thought I’d give you space so I didn’t. So I’m asking you know. Will you go out with me?” He said then asked as he ran his fingers up and down my arm. “Yes Alex, I would love to go out with you.” I said as I captured his lips again.

The day finally came when he was allowed to go home. I waited in the waiting room with Marcus, and his mom. He came out grinning from ear to ear. He went straight to him mom and hugged her, then Marcus. Then he slowly walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a kiss. “I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” He whispered. “I’ve missed you too.” I replied. “Can we get out of here and go someplace alone?” He asked. “I would love that.” I said smiling as I hugged him.
(End Flashback)

“Is that what you wanted to hear?” I asked as I looked up at Kevin and saw a single tear fall from his eye. “Kevin?” “Baby, I didn’t know you went to Arizona. I thought you two started dating afterwards.” “We didn’t make it official until he was out.” I said wiping his eyes. “Kevy, why did you want me to tell you that?” “I just needed to know.” “No, you had a reason for me telling you this. Why?” He sat there a moment before he spoke. “Because I needed to know the truth. Because I never knew that all those years that we were together that he had feelings for you.” “Kev, I didn’t know either until then.” I pulled back from Kevin. “Would you have broken up with me earlier if you had known of his feelings?” “Baby...” “Answer my question. Would you have?” “Yes.” He said in a whisper. “Oh, Kevin. What am I going to do with you?” I said taking his hand in mine.

On the drive home, everyone in the SUV was quiet. Not until Brian broke the silence. “That was an interesting evening we had.” He said smiling. “I guess so.” Kristin said looking over at Kevin who never took his eyes off the road except to look in his mirror. I caught him looking back at me a few times to see how I was doing. I just looked at him and gave him a smile before looking away. Then he finally spoke. “You don’t mind me taking you home first do you Brian?” “No, that’s fine. I am on the way to AJ’s.” Brian said before he looked at me. “Sweetie are you okay?” He asked placing his hand on my arm. I jumped when he touched me. “Oh sorry. I’ll be fine.” I said grinning at him. Once at Brian’s he looked back over at me. “Are you sure? If you wanna talk later...” “Thanks, but I’m sure everything will be just fine.” I said as Brian gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Okay. If you’re sure.” He said as I nodded. Then we took off. When we pulled into the driveway to Alex and my place Kevin insisted on walking me to the door. “Baby, are sure you’re okay?” He asked as he grabbed my arm. I turned to look at Kristin sitting in the car then back to Kevin. “Yes, Kevy I’ll be just fine. You don’t need to worry about me. Okay?” I said smiling at him. “Okay. Call me if you wanna talk or something.” He said leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. “Good night Kev.” “Good night.” “Good night Kristin!” I yelled and she waved. As Kevin was walking back to the car he stopped and turned around. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He said at the car. “Kevin you don’t have too... fine I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said walking into the house and closing the door.

Once in the house I placed my purse down on the table, kicked off my shoes and slowly made my way up stairs. As I was heading to the bedroom I noticed there was a dim flicking of light coming from the room and soft music playing. So I gently pushed the door open and found Alex lying on the bed in a pair of dark blue silk boxers and cuddling my favorite teddy bear. I had to smile at the sight of it. I thought it was so sweet of him to go all out like he did. So I walked into the bathroom and put on my matching nightie. (The one’s that matched his boxers.) Then I carefully crawled into bed next to him. When he felt my presence he slowly woke up. “Hey, what time is it?” He asked in a whisper. Just past midnight.” I said as he wrapped his arms around me. “I did this for you baby girl.” “That was so sweet of you. I’m just sorry that I go home so late.” “No it’s okay. All I wanted to do with you tonight was cuddle. Like what we’re doing right now.” He whispered as he started kissing the back of my neck. “What is it with my neck that you like so much?” I asked. “I like other parts of you body too. But when I want to keep it clean I go for the neck.” He said as I closed my eyes and gave a small moan. He was running his fingers up and down my arm and I laid my right leg over his hip. “So, no sex?” I asked. “No, no sex. I get to just tease.” He whispered as he started licking my ear.

He was starting to turn me on so I tried my best to tease him back. I moved my leg back down and I started running my nail up and down his hip and leg. That’s when his took in a sharp in take of breath. “Are you sure?” I asked trying to control my breathing. “I’m... sure... Oooh, baby.” I pulled back from him and turned over so I’d be facing him. I looked at him for a moment before moving a bit closer to him. Then I ran my lips gently across his but not kissing him. He tried so hard to enter my mouth, but this was my tease to him. I could feel his warm breath on my skin and it was making the hairs on my arm stand. I started thinking that I don’t think either one of us could keep up with the teasing much longer. I moved up a bit and ran my fingers through his hair, down to his neck and he gave a moan. Then I slowly ran my hand down his chest to the waistband of his boxers and he thrusted upward wanting more. I just stopped and went around the edge of his waist not to go to far. “Oh... please...more.” He begged. I placed my lips to his ear. “But you said no sex.” I whispered. “Ooh, shit.” He said. “If I give you what we both want right now, will you... make me... oh... breakfast in the morning?” I said as I started to feel his hand between my thighs. “Baby, I will give you my heart... body... and my soul... if you ask me.” “Good enough.” I said as his boxers came flying off and I was on my back with my legs wrapped around his waist.

About a good two hours later we were lying wrapped in each other embrace with all smiles. “Baby, where did you learn how to us your tongue like that?” Alex asked with a smile. “If you only knew baby.” I said grinning at him. “You’re not going to tell me?” “Practice, and lots of popsicles.” “You’re kidding right?” “No. I’d never kid about something like that.” I said as a sharp pain ran through my stomach. “Baby girl are you okay?” Alex asked as he moved to sit up on his left arm. “I don’t really know. I just all of a sudden got a very strong sharp pain in my belly and... Ouch!” I started to say before I yelled. “Do you need to go to the hospital?” “Ah huh. Please.” I said as I started to cry in pain. The pain was starting to get worse. “Let me grab some clothes for you then we’ll go.” He said putting on his cargo pants and tank top. “Top left drawer are my...” “Don’t worry I’ll find your pants.” After he found my black cargo pants he had to find me a shirt. “Where are your shirts? I can’t find one?” He yelled as he was throwing thing around the room. When I didn’t respond he looked over at me. “Allison?” He came over to the bed and saw that I was now barely breathing. “Baby; come on breath, please.” I was gasping for air so badly that I had passed out completely.

Chapter Four
When I finally came too, I was in a hospital bed with a breathing mask on and a heart monitor on my belly. I slowly opened my eyes. I saw Alex’s head was lying on the bed while holding my hand tightly. As I looked around the room I saw everyone was here. Brian was sitting on the windowsill, Howie was asleep sitting Indian stile, arms crossed on the floor up against the wall, Kevin was on the rocking chair sleeping with my teddy bear and Nick was stretched out on the couch. But my concern right now was the baby. I carefully looked up at the monitor as Alex wake up. “She’s doing just fine sweetie.” He whispered. I looked over at him and lifted up the mask. “Did you say we’re having a girl?” I asked in a soft whisper. “Yeah, we are.” He said smiling at me. I closed my eyes for a second as I felt a tear fall. “Alex, what happened?” “Your doctor is still trying to figure that one out.” “Why are they here?” “They needed to know what was going on with you.” He said.

For a second I thought I was hearing things when I heard someone in room was crying. “Is Nick crying?” I asked concerned for him. Alex walked over to the couch and gentle shook Nick’s arm to wake him. “Hey, Nick.” Alex whispered. Nick rolled over and wiped his eyes. “Huh?” “Ally's awake. She wants to see you.” “Oh, okay.” Nick said getting up and walking over to my bedside. “Nick what’s the matter?” I said after taking off the mask for the last time. “I-I...” “Nicky please talk to me.” That’s when he burst into a crying fit waking up the whole room. “I thought I was going to lose you! You’re my best friend, my big sister. I wouldn’t know what I would do if you were gone out of my life! What would I do if you...” “Nicky breathe. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.” I said grabbing his hand.

I carefully sat up and pulled him into a tight hug. “I would never leave you. I promise.” I whispered. Then he pulled back. “But what if...?” “Nicky, I’m just too hard to get rid of that easily. I said smiling. “I guess you’re right.” He said with a small grin. I looked around the room to see all the glum faces. “Hey, stop the gloomy faces. I’m going to be fine. So is the baby. All of you just go home and get some sleep. Please. Just come back in the morning all wide eyed and bushytailed.” They all nodded and started for the door. “Not you Mister.” I said grabbing Alex’s hand. “You’re staying with me.” I said as he gave me a small smile.

After they all left I carefully moved over in the bed so Alex could join me. He removed his shoes and placed his sunglasses on the table. Then he crawled in and placed his arms around my front and placed his hands on my belly, while I placed my hands on his. Then we drifted off to sleep.

Anyways, I’m taking over this part because Allison doesn’t know what’s happening so I’m going to tell it. That morning at about seven or so I was woken up to a bunch of beeps. It was starting to bug the hell out of me. When they hadn't stopped a bunch of nurses came running into the room telling me to get off the bed. I didn’t understand what was going on until I asked. “Nurse what is going on with her?” I asked in a worried tone. “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to step back or leave the room.” One of the nurses said. “But what hell is going on?” I was going to get answers one way or another. I came real close to hitting one of the nurses when she yelled for Security. That’s when a big man in a security uniform came into the room. “What seems to be the problem?” He asked while the nurses and her doctor was still working on Allison. “He’s in the way and won’t move.” The doctor said as she was putting in a breathing tube down her throat. “Sir, I think you better step out.” The security guy said to me. “I just want to know what’s going on with my girlfriend! They’re not telling me anything!” I yelled. “Just wait in the waiting area and someone will be out to talk to you when they’re done.” He said placing his hand on my arm to escort me out of the room. “Don’t touch me! I know my way out!” I said snapping at him. Then I left the room.

I called the guys and told them what happened and that I still no idea what was going on. I tried to go to her room but the security guy wouldn’t let me in to see her. So I called Marcus to help me out. As I was on the phone with Marcus, Nick came running into the waiting room looking like he hadn’t sleep in days. His clothes were all wrinkly and his hair was a mess and his eyes looked bloodshot like he had been up crying. Kevin wasn’t too far behind, looking about the same as Nick was.

Almost five minutes later Brian and Howie strolled in out of breathe. “What happened to you two?” I asked as I covered the mouthpiece on the phone. We... just... ran... up five... flights... of stairs.” Brian said as he collapsed in a near by chair. Howie just leaned up against the wall and slid down. “Why did you do that?” I asked. “We couldn’t find the right elevator.” Howie said. “Well at least you made it.” Kevin said. “Jay.” Nick finally spoke. I place my wait finger up and finished up with Marcus. “Okay Marcus, I’ll see you then in about half-hour.” Then I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. “Yeah Nick.” I said looking over at him. “Have you heard anything about the condition she’s in?” Nick asked. “They haven’t told me shit. They also won’t even let me go in and see her!” “Is that why you were on the phone with Marcus and why she’s got security by her door?” Kevin asked. “They think I’m some thug trying to hurt her or something. I tried telling them that she’s my girlfriend and she’s carrying my baby. That’s why I called Marcus to see if he can talk to them.” I said as I sat down. “Why would they assume that she wasn’t your girlfriend?” Brian asked. I looked over at Brian. “If you were as gorgeous as she is would you date me?” I said. “Well... Ah...” “Never mind, don’t answer that. I wouldn’t date me. I sometimes scare myself. Will all these tattoos.” I said taking a seat. “Come on AJ. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Ally loves you know matter what you look like.” Kevin said. “You’re one to talk Kev! You dated her!” I said sarcastically. “What does me having dated her got to do with you?” Kevin asked. “First off you’re tall, very handsome and the ladies love you.” “AJ the ladies follow you like a lost puppy.” Howie said. “The word is ‘was’. That was when I younger.” “That’s not true Jay.” Nick finally said. I looked over at him. “What are you talking about?” “I had a little girl come up to me at McDonald’s the other day asking me about you.” “What did she want or ask?” “Well, she knew that you had been dating someone special for the last six years and she was wondering if you two were ever going to settle down and marry.” “What did you say?” I said sitting down next to him. “I just told her that when the time is right then he’ll ask her. Then she said that if he doesn’t ask her soon that she’ll just leave him for someone else. I told her that Allison would never leave him for anyone ever because she loves him too much.” Nick said as he was looking at the ground and half-smiled. “Did you mean what you said?” I asked looking at him as he just nodded his head. I sat there a moment until I figured something out. “Nick.” “Yeah Jay?” “You really care about her don’t you? I don’t mean like a big sister care I mean, care, care.” I said. “I do. I mean don’t get me wrong I know you two are involved and all and I would never, but... as long as I’ve know her I’ve always had a crush on her.” Nick started shifting in his seat. Then he told me more. “I remember when we were younger I would go into her room crying. She would let me lay with her at night to make sure I was safe from whatever was scaring me.” “How old were you two?” I asked. “Let’s see... I think it was a year after her parents died so it was in ‘Eighty-six so that would have made me six?” He said looking at me. “So that would have made her eleven.” I said.

Chapter Five
(Nick’s flashback)
It was a dark and stormy night. Wait a minute, isn’t that how most scary stories usually start? Anyways I was lying in bed sleeping when there was a flash of lighting and a huge boom of thunder. I didn’t want to wake my folks up so I closed my eyes crawled out of my room and started counting doors. I know her door was two down from mine. When I got to her door I carefully open it and crawled over to her bed feeling my way in. My eyes were still closed because I was crying and I didn’t want anyone to see. (What would you expect from a seven-year-old.)? When I finally got to her bed I started shaking her. “Ally? Ally wake up.” I whispered. She finally rolled over. “What is it Nicky?” She asked half asleep. “I’m scared, can I lay with you?” I asked still crying. She rubbed her eyes before looking at me. “Do you know I have school in the morning?” “Ah huh.” I said wiping my nose on my hand. “I promise to go right to sleep. Please, I’m scared.” I said as a flash of lighting struck and then a large BOOM! “Okay. Come on up. But if I hear one word from you, you can never come in my room at night again. Do I make myself clear?” She said pulling back the blanket. “I promise.” I said placing my head down on the pillow. After she laid her head back down, she wrapped her arms around and cuddled real close to me.

As the years passed I remember one time right before we were to leave for our first tour. We were lying out in the grass one night and she started telling me about this guy she has met at work. But what she didn’t know was that I also knew of him. “How long have you two been dating?” I asked her. “I met him last summer, so almost a year. Why?” “I don’t know? But his last name isn’t Richardson is it?” “Yeah.” Then she paused. “Wait a minute. You guys are leaving for tour next week. Kevin asked me to join him with his new band next week. Wow small world isn’t it.” She said laughing. I hadn’t said anything for a while because I had wanted to tell her then that I had feelings for her but when I found out that she was joining us on the road I lost all my nerves and chickened out.
(End flashback)

“So, for almost twenty years you’ve held these feelings in?” I asked. “I guess so.” “But why didn’t you tell her then how you felt about her?” “Because I know she would have laughed at me.” “Then tell her now.” I said. “What? Are you mad? AJ dawg she’s dating you!” Nick said in total shock. I turned and looked at him. Then I looked up and saw the shocked looks on Kevin and Brian faces. “Are you crazy?” Brian asked. “Maybe I am. But I think Nick needs to let her know how much he loves her.” Just as I said that the doctor walked in. “Alex McLean.” I looked up in shock to hear my name. “Yeah?” “Can you please come with me?” I looked at the others with a worried look on my face as I followed the doctor. We walked down the hall to a small office just past Allison’s room. “Alex please have a seat.” The doctor started as she closed the door. “My name is Dr. Jillian Livingston. I’ve been monitoring everything that has been going on with Mrs. Hill.” “What’s been going on with my girlfriend?” “Well, she has massive asthma. With the two attacks she has already had, we believe her lungs are failing.” “But she doesn’t smoke.” I said. “Do you or any of her friends?” I sat there starting to think this was all my fault. “I do, so does Nick and Aaron. But we don’t always smoke around her.” “You don’t have to be in the same room. The smell lingers on your clothes. Just being able to smell it will cause an attack.” “How is this going to affect the baby?” “Right now the baby looks healthy and doing fine. But if her attacks get worse, we’ll have to decide on what to do next.” “So basically the three of us either keep smoking or never be around her again or we try and quite?” I sat there thinking of what I really wanted to do. “I love my girlfriend to just let her go, so... I’m going to try and stop for her. Oh, when she has the baby will there be some kind of surgery she’ll have to go through for her asthma and lung problem?” “Yes there is but she and the baby have to make it to the birth.” I sat there taking in what she just said. “Do you have any other questions?” Dr. Livingston asked. “Yeah, I do have a question.” “Okay.” “I’ve been sitting in that waiting room all frickin’ week wanting to see my girl but Big Boy standing by her door won’t let me get close. What’s the deal with that?” I said getting upset. “I want to apologize for that. When I walked in her room I saw you lash out at one of my nurses so I was afraid for Ms. Hill.” “Why because of the way I look?” “Not just that but you were loud and ecstatic.” She said. “But when can I see her if I promise to chill-out?” “Well, right now there having to move her into a germ free room so probably not for another hour or so.” She said as she was standing up.

I hadn’t moved yet from all the shock I was in. I also tried not to brake down and cry. But I could stop the tears. Dr. Livingston looked at me. “Are you going to be alright Alex?” “I don’t know why I’m going to say this to you but I am.” “What is it?” She asked sitting back down. “I’ve been dating Allison now going on six years. I asked her to marry me a few days ago but she turned me down. I’m not going to give up on my girlfriend for anything. She told me if I’m willing to commit my life fully to her...” “Everything?” She asked. “No, I still have my own life to live but she told me that we need to spend more time together. If you know what I mean.” “So when was the last time you two had intercourse?” “You mean sex?” “Well if you want to put it out like that. Okay.” “The last time was the night I brought her in.” “And before that?” “Four months ago.” I whispered. “That’s when things between us went sour. But when she told me no, I’ve started making improvements.” I said. “Well keep working on it. I’ll bet by the time she leaves here you’ll be asking her again and she’ll even say yes this time.” She said with a smile as she opened the door. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks Doc.” I said shaking her hand before heading back to the waiting room.

When I got back to the waiting room, I found Kevin trying to comfort Nick; Brian and Howie were over talking to my mom and Marcus. So I walked back into the room and sat back down over by mom. My mom stopped talking and looked over at me. “Alex sweetheart, are you alright?” She asked. “I guess. They’re moving her down to an isolated room to keep her out of harms way, with all the germs and all.” I said. “Why is that?” “Because Nick, Aaron and I are smokers and she’s got very bad asthma. So I’m cutting down until we know what’s going on.” I said. “So when are you going to go see her?” “I’m going to run home first to shower and change my clothes then I’ll go see her.” “That’s a smart thing to do.” Mom said smiling at me. “I’ll come with.” Nick said. “Yeah alright.” I said to him. “I need to get in my last smoke so I can see her too.” “Nick you’re going to cut down too?” Brian said. “Of course. If I want her to get better I should.” Nick said following me out of the waiting room. “Hey Nick!” Brian yelled out. “Yeah Rok.” “You should call Aaron. Let him know what’s going on with her. If he wants to visit he should shower and change and also cut down until she’s better.” “I’ll let him know. I’ll call him when we get outside.” Nick said.

Once in the car Nick pulled out his cell and called his brother to give him the heads up. I grabbed my smokes because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to have one for awhile. I think the only time I’ll be able to have one is out on the back porch before taking a shower. I’m going to have to fabreeze the whole house to remove the cigarette smell for whenever Allison gets home. I dropped Nick off at his place, and then I headed home to get cleaned up myself. When I got home I started ripping up the place. I throw all the sheets in every room in the washer. Then I sprayed the couches and drapes with fabreeze. Then I called a cleaner to clean the carpets. I stepped outside and had a cigarette. While I was sitting outside I started thinking if I was going to be able to pull this off for her. The cleaning was already killing me because I’ve never had to do this. But the no smoking in the house or around my girlfriend was going to be the hardest. I had to do it. I finally headed back in and moved the laundry. Then I went back upstairs and jumped into a well-needed shower.

As the water cascaded over me I started thinking of how much I missed her soft skin touching me. How her kisses just make my toes curl and the hair on the back of my neck stand. The way she ran her nails across my skin. How she wrapped her mouth around my... “Ooh shit! I moan out loud. I hadn’t been paying to much attention to what I was doing until I relieved myself in the shower. I had to turn on the cold water just to relax. My body was aching for her touch and my groin was throbbing. I stood in the cold water for about fifteen minutes and washed up that way. I knew if I turned on the hot water I would never get out. After turning off the water I picked up her fuzzy blue towel that feels so soft when you touch it. I dried off then placed it around my waist. I walked back into the bedroom and took in a deep breath. The room smelled so clean and fresh. “Oh god. My room smells so... so... not me.” I said out loud. I had to shake that thought out of my head then I headed over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of my BSB boxers. They were the only ones I had left that weren’t in the wash. I also grabbed my Tommy Jeans and my red tank top. Then I headed back into the bathroom to brush my teeth, took a swig of mouthwash then brushed my hair. Back in the bedroom I put on a pair of sock and my shoes. Then I ran out the door back to the hospital.

When I got to the car I called Nick. “Hello?” “Hey Nick. I’m heading back to the hospital. Do you want a ride back?” “Yeah, I’ll meet you out front. I should be ready in like five.” Nick said. “Okay, I’ll be there to get you in a few.” I said as I was starting the car. On my drive over to Nicks I popped in one of Allison’s CD’s without even thinking. “How do I say goodbye, to what we had...” I had to change songs. “Do you believe in life after love...” Click. “Don’t want you back, Cause you’re no good for me, I know, That’s all I can say...” Click. “You have got to be kidding me!” I said changing to the next CD. “I know he’s driving a fancy car, When you’re with him, You’re feeling like a star, But when I’m home alone I think only of you, So what do you know, How does it go...” Next. “How can you see into my eyes like open doors, Leading you down into my core, Where I’ve become so numb with out a soul, My spirit sleeping somewhere cold, Until you find it there and lead it back home...” “Wow, that was deep.” I said as I was pulling into Nick’s driveway.

As the next song was starting Nick was getting in. “What are you listening too?” He asked. “Just the CD’s Allison had in the CD changer.” I said. “Like what?” I don’t know. I guess mainly burned songs that she likes.” I said. “Are you saying she like’s Papa Roach’s ‘Last Resort’?” Nick asked kind of shocked. “I guess so.” I skipped the rest of the songs and went to the next CD. The next one I found out was dedicated to me. So I had to listen. She had the Spice Girls ‘2 Become 1’, and a bunch from us. Like ‘I Wanna Be With You’, ‘If I Don’t Have You’, ‘Lay Down Beside me’, ‘I Need You Tonight’, and ‘Where Can We Go From Here’. “Hey why did you turn it off?” Nick asked looking at me. “You just wouldn’t understand.” I said trying to compose my cool. “What don’t I understand?” He asked confused. “Just listen to what she says at the beginning of the CD.” I started the CD over.

“My dearest Alex on his twenty-ninth Birthday.
You are my life; my soul mate and I will always love you until my dying day. You may not always be there for me, but I know that deep down that you care for me. I want this day to be special but I know that you’re not here to be with me so I can just let you know in songs how much we need each other right now. I miss you so much when you’re gone and I know right now work comes first when it comes to recording your next album. I just wish... I just wish... I just wish you would treat me like you used too. The way I should be treated. I’m just afraid if things don’t change back the way they used to be. I’m going to have to... leave you.

Don’t worry this isn’t a Happy Birthday I’m breaking up with you CD. This is just a CD telling you how much I love you. Alex I do love you. I have for the past six years. I just hope for the next sixty plus years. Well I hope you enjoy the songs I picked out. BIG KISSES! Allison.”

I looked over a Nick after parking the car. “Nick man are you okay?” I asked. “Yeah, I’m cool. And I understand now.” He said wiping his eyes. Let’s go see Allison.” He said getting out of the car. On the walk to the building Nick stopped. “Hey, AJ.” “Yeah.” “Is this the first time you’ve heard that?” I stood there thinking for a second. “You know what? It is. I don’t know why she never gave me that CD but I’m glad now that I found it.” I said starting to walk again. “I’m glad you found it too.” Nick said. “Thanks.” I said smiling at him and he smiled back.

Chapter Six
When Nick and I entered the lobby Kevin and Marcus came running by at top speed. “Hey!” I yelled. Kevin slowed down after turning around after he found out that it was me who called out. “Come on! We need to hurry!” “What’s going on?” Nick said speaking up. “Denise just called us to say that...” My phone rang just as Kevin was about to tell me what was going on. “Yeah.” I said into the phone. “Alex you need to hurry back because it’s Allison.” She said. “Why, what’s going on with her?” I asked. “Is that your mom?” Kevin asked. “It is.” I said. “Then tell her you’re on your way and I’ll explain.” “Mom I ran into Kev in the lobby. He said he’d explain.” “Okay, then hurry.” She said as she hung up. “Kev, what’s going on?” I asked. “She had a massive asthma attack then went into cardiac arrest.” Kevin said. “Where is she located?” I yelled as Nick and I flew past them. “Down one flight and she’s in room A5 to the left of the elevator.” Kevin yelled. I wanted to get to her fast so we skipped the elevator and ran right to the stairs and basically flew down them.

When we got to the basement Nick was pretty much in tears already when he almost ran into a few nurses at they were entering Allison’s room. I stopped suddenly when I saw security and her doctor heading towards us. “Alex may I speak to you please?” Dr. Livingston asked. “Um... Whatever it was I didn’t do it.” I said. “Oh, no you’re fine. I just need to talk to you about some things.” She said. “Okay.” I said following her. Nick stayed behind waiting for the others to show up. The doctor and I went into another room to talk. She pulled up a chair to sit and offered me one. Then she spoke. “First off I have some good news and some not so good.” “What’s the good news first?” I asked looking at her. “Well the good news is we can save the baby because Allison was farther along then she thought.” “By how much?” “Far enough along for the baby to breathe on her own.” “And Allison?” “We are not sure if she’ll make through the night. But she is a fighter and you never know.” “May I go see her?” I asked. “Let me go check on how she’s doing and if she’s awake first.” “Okay, I’ll just wait here.” I said.

While waiting for the doctor to get back I pulled out the ring I had picked out for her. I know it had only been a week sense I last asked her but I wanted this now more then ever. If I was going to loose her I want to loose her as my wife. I would also have two things out of this. Her as my wife and our baby. I placed the ring on the table and then placed my hands on my face. I couldn’t believe that this was even happening. I didn’t think after all these years that I was ever going to loose another girlfriend. This was more different. This is the mother of my first born child. The love of my life, the keeper of the key to my heart. The very woman who I want to grow old with.

As Dr. Livingston was walking back into the room she spotted the ring. She picked up the black velvet box and admired it for a moment. “She’s going to love this ring.” She said handing it back to me. "What if she won’t take it? It has been only a week.” “Alex you’ve been here for her everyday for almost two weeks. That should mean something.” She said. “I hope you’re right about that.” “Well, she’s awake so you can go see her.” She said smiling and I tried giving one back. Then I got up and walked over to her room door. I took a deep breath and then opened the door. She was lying in her bed hooked up to all kinds of machines. It was kind of scary. “Alex?” She said barely in a whisper. “Hey baby girl.” I whispered as I walked over to her. “How are you feeling?” “I’ve felt better. Kind of lightheaded though.” I tried my hardest not to cry. “Where is everyone? I saw Nick and Kev, but... I haven’t seen Howie or Brian.” She whispered. “Baby, I haven’t seen them for awhile. I was talking to your doctor.” “Alex what’s going on?” “They’re going to deliver the baby early tomorrow, but...” I couldn’t do it. I can’t tell her. “Alex, what is it?” “Baby, I can’t.” “Can’t what? What’s going on? Am I dying?” She asked. I stood there speechless. “Am I?” “They won’t know anything until they deliver the baby.” Kevin said standing by the door. “Kevy.” She said as he walked in. “Thanks man.” I said. “No prob.” Kevin said to Alex.

Kevin walked over to the bed and grabbed her hand. “Baby, I need to talk to AJ for a minute is that okay?” “Okay.” She said after taking a breath. Kevin and I walked into the hall to talk. “You need to tell her now. I just got done talking to Dr. Livingston and she just informed me that they need to get the baby out now and get her up to surgery.” “They found her a transplant?” I asked. “That and help control her asthma.” “That’s great news.” I said with a big grin. “Is there anything else I should know?” I asked Kevin. “No that was it.” “Good because I need to see my girl.” “ALEX!” Allison yelled. We ran back to her room after hearing her belt out my name. “Baby I’m frightened.” She said as I took her hand in mine. “You are going to be just fine. I will be with you every step of the way.” I said sitting down in the chair next to her bed. “Do you promise?” “Baby girl, I promise you I will never leave you alone for a second.” I looked up at Kevin with a worried look on my face. Should I have even said that in the first place? Should I even make promises that I can’t always keep? Well, right now I have to keep my promises to her. I can’t afford to loss her.

As I was sitting there holding her hand I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She is my beauty, my angel. I was afraid of also loosing her. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her. I was getting tired so I placed my head on the bed but never let go of her hand. “Alex?” I sat back up when she said my name. “Yeah, baby.” “Will you be with me the whole time?” She asked. “I will. Every step.” I said lying my hand on her cheek. I gently started to stroke her cheek with my fingers. She gave me a smile as she started to fall asleep. About twenty minutes later the nurse came in to tell me that it was time to get her ready for the delivery. The nurse went over to her IV bag and started putting in some kind of medicine. “What are those for?” I asked. “Well this one is for the pain and this one is to help her sleep better.” The nurse said as she was injecting it into the IV tube. “They will be ready for her in about ten minutes to take her up for delivery.” “Are they doing the surgery after?” I asked. “I believe so.” She said before she left. “Thank you.” I said before I layed my head back down. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Nick and Kevin both walked in. “How is she?” Kevin asked. “They’ll be in soon to take her up to delivery.” I said. “Are you ready for all this?” Nick asked. I took a deep breath before responding. “I’m ready, as I’ll ever be.” I said forcing a grin. “Are they going to be doing the surgery afterwards?” Kevin said looking over at Allison. “They believe so but they won’t know for sure until the baby is born.” I said heading to the bathroom.

After walking out of the bathroom I saw that Nick was standing over by the bed talking to her. “Don’t leave me. You’re the only one I can talk too.” He started. I just stood there and listened to him. “Sweetie, that night when I was six and you let me lay with you in your bed. I always thought it would be you and me forever. But when that night before I left for tour and you told me about your boyfriend, I was heartbroken. Not because of the guy in your life but because it was Kevin. Then you started dating AJ. I got kind of jealous. I know I shouldn’t because we grew up together and you’re like an older sister to me but I am. I still am jealous of you.” He paused and took her hand in his. “This is just so hard to stand here looking at you and not cry. But I can’t loose you. Baby; AJ can’t loose you it’ll just break his heart if you ever left him. I stayed at Kevin’s last night and we were up most of the night talking. Can you believe Kevin even cried? The last time I saw him cry was at his wedding then when he found out that Kristin was pregnant. I knew these tears were different. These were tears out of fear of loosing someone close. We all don’t want to loose you. I know ‘D’ hasn’t been by much because this is also hard for him. Brian and Leighanne have been trying to help the best way they can.” Nick paused to try and clear his thoughts then continued. “Ally, I know I shouldn’t say this to you now but I had talked to AJ and he said I should tell you.” He stopped and closed his eyes. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I know it’s wrong to express my feeling to you because you’re with someone. And you’re happy with him but I had to tell you.” He leaned in and whispered something in her ear. “AJ truly loves you with every fiber of his being. He’s not going to give up on you for one slight moment. He will do whatever it takes to make you his wife if it takes another six years to do. So please, please don’t leave us.” Nick said finishing as he layed his head down on the bed. “Nick, I love you too.” She whispered as she touched his hand.”

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his back. He looked up, saw me and gave me a small grin. “Did you hear that?” He asked. “I heard.” I said as they were coming to get her for delivery. As they were starting to roll her out of the room I heard her speak. “Alex, you’ll be with me?” “Yeah baby. I’ll be right there. I just need to talk to Nick for a sec.” I said. “Okay, but hurry. I don’t want to do this alone.” “Don’t worry your pretty brown eyes. You won’t be.” Once she was out of sight I looked back over at Nick. “I told her everything.” Nick finally said. “I know, I heard.” “You’re not mad that I told her how I felt?” “No of course not. I told you to tell her. I’m glad she now knows how you feel.” I started as I looked over at the door. “I could tell she feels the same about you.” “You’re not feeling guilty about all this are you?” Nick asked. I stood there ran my hands through my hair thinking. “You’re not having second thoughts about asking her are you?” “After what you just said to her I am.” “Don’t stop from asking her just because of me. I’m not going to step in your way. I just want the both of you happy. I could never give her what the both of you have.” I looked at him confused. “What’s that?” “You have each other, and a beautiful baby.” “Speaking of baby we should head up. I need to be there with her.” “Yeah you do.” Nick said as we started for the elevator.

Once in the delivery room, I got myself ready in the scrubs and stood my her head. “Hey baby.” I said as I brushed the hair from her face. “You made it.” She said as a single tear fell down her cheek. “I would never miss the chance to see the birth of my daughter being born.” I said wiping the tear away. “Where are the guys?” “I know Kevin and Nick are both in the waiting room, but I don’t know about Brian or Howie.” I said. “I’m just glad that you’re here. Right now that’s all that matters to me.” She said. As we were talking our daughter was born. Then Allison started having trouble breathing. “Baby?” I asked concerned. “Sir you’re going to have to step back now so we can do our job.” The doctor said. “But I promised her I wouldn’t leave her side.” I said. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to break this promise.” I looked at the doctor and started to clinch my fists. Then I heard the baby cry. “I love you baby girl.” I whispered to her before I stepped back and left the room.

I didn’t want to leave her side because I had promised her that I wouldn’t. So I stood by the window and tried to watch what they were doing. I couldn’t see much. While standing there I started hearing lots of loud sounds coming from the room and them I heard it. The one sound you always dread hearing. The long beep sound. I just broke down and cried into my hands. Kevin walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I couldn’t take it anymore; I just started waling my fists on him. I couldn’t believe I just lost the love of my life. My life as I knew it was now over. I pushed away from him and ran to the elevator as fast as I could. I then headed through the lobby and out the front doors. I ran through the parking lot up to the top of the parking structure. When I got to the top I just stood there and cried. I cried like I’d never cried before.

I had been pacing the top ledge of the structure for hours when I finally walked over to the ledge and jumped up on it. Then I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I just sat there watching the people down below me going bout there everyday business. Some in suits, scrubs, hospital gowns. Some were coming to visit loved ones. I couldn’t stand being alone without her. I was starting to go crazy until I someone spoke. “Think about your daughter and the woman you love.” The man said in a southern voice. “How am I supposed to raise a little girl with out her mother?” I said placing my hands on the wall. “You haven’t lost anyone.” He said placing his hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at him. “What are you talking about Kev? I heard them. They said the time of death.” “You’re right, they did. But she’s back and now she’s in Recovery. She’s been there for the past eight hours. Dr. Livingston has been looking for you to tell you and to tell you that you can see your baby girl.” Kevin said. I turned all the way around. “The surgery?” “Everything is back to normal. She hasn’t had any problems.” “I can’t go in there smelling like cigarettes.” “You should be fine. Nick and Aaron had been out for a smoke quite a bit and she hasn’t had any side affects to the smell.” I took a deep breath before jumping back down. I gave him a small grin and we walked back in.

Back on the Labor and Delivery floor I headed to the nurses station to see my daughter. “Can I help you?” A nurse asked. “Yeah, I’m here to see my daughter.” I said. “The name?” Her’s or mine?” I asked. “The baby’s.” “Well um, we haven’t named her yet because my girlfriend went right to surgery after she was born. So Baby McLean?” “Okay, right now she is in the nursery with her grandmother. Just go down the hall and make a left you can’t miss the baby window.” The nurse said. “Thank you.” I said heading down the hall. Once I got there I saw mom holding her. When she saw me she placed her down and came out to see me. “Would you like to see her?” Mom asked. I looked over and saw Nick standing alone looking at the baby’s. “Yeah, just give me a sec.” “Okay take your time.” She said going back into the room. I walked over to Nick and placed my hand on his arm. “You okay?” I asked him. “I’m doing much better now that I know that she’s going to be around.” Nick said with a smile. “So what are you going to name her?” “I decided to call her Yanni.” Nick turned and looked at me odd. “What does it mean?” “It means gift of God.” I said smiling. “That’s a perfect name for her.” Kevin said walking over. “She is a gift from God.” Brian added smiling. “Allison will love her name.” Howie said. “I know she will.” I said.

Chapter Seven
I stood with the guys for a short while, reminiscing about the past few weeks. “Don’t you think you should meet your daughter?” Brian asked. “Oh yeah. That’s a great idea.” I said laughing. The guys said that they were going to go wait in the waiting room. I headed over to the door of the baby nursery. My mom came back over and handed me a yellow gown and I placed it on before entering the nursery. Then mom picked her up and handed me the baby. “Here you go daddy.” She said as I took Yanni from her arms. While holding her I walked over to a rocking chair and sat down. “Oh my god she’s so tiny.” I said looking up at my mom. “Just watch her head and you’ll be just fine.” I looked back at my daughter and started to tear up. I was so happy. “Have you decided on a name for her?” “Yeah, I thought we’d name her Yanni.” I said while running my pointer finger over her forehead. “Alex that is a beautiful name. I’m sure Allison will love it.” She said as she headed to the door. “I’m sure she will. Oh, and thanks mom.” I said, as she just smiled at me before leaving the room.

I sat holding Yanni for a good while. I couldn’t believe how teeny she was in my arms. I was so afraid I was going to break her. While holding her I started singing some of the word to ‘Like a Child’.

If you could right the wrongs that made you cry
So would promise not to say goodbye
So I’m holding on
With a love so strong
And I can’t take a day without you by my side

Girl if I could change
If I could change you mind
Baby you could help me wipe these tears from my eyes

Chorus
Girl don’t stop
The sun from shining down on me
‘coz I can’t face another day without your smile
And if you take away the loving arms that surround me
Then I might break down and cry just like a child

I’d falling asleep for a few hours when I was woken up to someone shaking me on the shoulder. “Hey, Bone?” “Huh?” I said still asleep. “There’s someone else who would like to see you.” “Who?” I asked. “Allison. She’s asking for you.” I finally opened my eyes and focused. I saw that it was Nick. “Oh hey Nick.” I said grinning at him. “Hey.” He grinned back. “What time is it?” I asked. “Going on three-thirty in the morning.” “I’ve been asleep for almost five hours and nobody came to wake me?” “You hadn’t slept to well the last few weeks so we told the nurses not to wake you.” Nick said as I got up. “What room is she in?” I asked removing the yellow gown. “She’s down in room seven-eighteen. She’s not asleep, she up talking to Aaron, Kevin and Brian right now.” Nick said sitting down in the rocking chair. “Thanks Nick.” I said. On the walk to her room I started thinking when the best time would be to bring it up. I thought to just wait a bit longer.

I knocked before I entered. “Hi Alex.” She said with a smile. “Hey baby girl.” I said walking over to her and placing a kiss on her forehead. “I think we’ll leave you two to talk.” Kevin said to Aaron and Brian. “We’ll see you in the morning.” Brian said. “Okay, good night guys and thank Nick for finding him.” “Well he did want to see the baby before he left.” Aaron said as Allison and I smiled. “Good night” Aaron said leaving.

I walked over to her bedside and she grabbed my hand. “I’ve missed you so much.” I whispered. “I’ve missed you so much too.” She said smiling. “Alex I’m very tired can you just lie with me and you can sing me to sleep?” “I thought we needed to talk?” “We do, but can you just do this for me?” “Sure.” I said. I took off my shoes and carefully climbed into bed next to her. Then I placed my arms around her and started singing ‘No One Else Comes Close’.

When we turn out the lights
The two of us alone together
Something’s just not right
But girl you know that I would never
Ever let another’s touch, come between
The two of us
Cause no one else will ever take your place

Chorus
No one else comes close to you
No one makes me feel the way you do
You’re so special girl to me
And you’ll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near
You always say the words I love to hear
Girl with just a touch you can do so much
No one else comes close

And when I wake up to
The touch of your hand on my shoulder
You’re my dream come true
Girl you know I’ll always treasure
Every kiss and everyday
I’ll love you girl
In every way

I had started falling asleep so I have know idea if I even finished the song. But that was okay we were both happy to be in each other’s arms. That’s all that mattered right now. To just hold her close and to just touch her.

Over the next few months everything was going great. Allison was starting to feel a lot better and I was able to take Yanni home for the first time. At about noon the guys come over to discuss some up coming events. That took about two and a half-hours to maintain some agreements on some issues. It was just getting boring because we couldn’t decide on anything. “Guys, do you mind watching Yanni for a while so I can go talk with Allison?” I asked. “Yeah, sure.” Howie said. “Do you want me to drive you?” Kevin asked. “Are you sure?” “I don’t mind.” Kevin said as he got up and followed. On the drive there it was quite. It was kind of nice even though the baby slept through the night. “So how’s it feel being a father?” Kevin asked. “Not to bad. She’s a joy to have around and can you believe she sleeps all night.” I said turning to look at him. “So you’ve gotten sleep?” “No not really. I’ve been thinking a lot about things.” I said. “About Allison?” “Yeah, quit a lot really. I’m trying to decide if it’s the right time to try and ask her again.” “Why not? You’ve done a lot of changing the last few months. I’m sure she’s seen it.” “Maybe you’re right. I’m going to try.”

Once we got there I knocked on her door to let her know it was me. “Hey, baby.” She said smiling as I walked in. “Hey baby girl.” I said as I walked over to her. “Alex what’s wrong?” She asked concerned. I didn’t know what to say so I sat down next to her bed and took her hand in mine. “Alex?” “Baby... I love you.” I said looking into her eyes. “I love you too.” She said looking back. “You know I can’t live with out you.” “I know.” “Over the first few months of you being here had been hard for me. The week I brought you to the hospital was the hardest. I almost lost you that terrified me most. I was with you everyday never leaving your side. The only time I wasn’t allowed with you was when you went into surgery. I felt it was my fault because I promised you that I would never...” “Alex this isn’t your fault. You’re not to blame for any of this. I love you and I always will.” She said giving me a smile. I got up and put my hands in pockets. “I want you to come home. Yanni and I both want you to come home. The house isn’t the same with out you. The world doesn’t seem complete with out you.” I said as I took the black velvet box out of my pocket. “Baby I’m going to ask you again and this time truly mean it. Baby, will you please marry me and make me the happiest man alive?” I said then asked as I place the ring on her finger. As I looked at her I was praying real hard that she would say yes until... “No Alex.” I looked at her in disbelief. I couldn’t believe she said no again. “Why? What is it that I’m doing wrong that you won’t say yes? I have been with you everyday for months and I’ve not once gone anywhere with the guys. I am trying to fix things between us and you just keep shooting the bullet into my heart!” “Alex?” “You know what? Forget it, I give up.” I said storming out of her room.

As I was heading down the hall I walked right past Kevin who was sitting in waiting room. He spotted me and came after me. “AJ wait up!” He yelled. I didn’t want to stop because I was way to upset. Then he grabbed me by the arm and I turned and swung at him hitting him right in jaw. “Hey, thanks for hitting me and not the wall.” He said sarcastically. “Sorry man.” “What happened?” Kevin asked as he was rubbing his jaw. “She did it to me again. I can’t just keep doing this. She’s told me numerous time that she loves me but why does she keep saying no?” I said as I lay up against the wall. “Let me go see if I can talk to her.” Kevin said. “Go for it.” I said as he headed to her room.

“Knock, knock.” Kevin said. “Come on in.” She said. “Baby what’s is going on with you? Do you not want to marry AJ?” “Kevy I... I don’t know what I want.” She paused for a moment. “I’ve got a very confused and hurt guy out there who is truly in love with you and wants to just leave out of your life.” Kevin said sitting down next to me. “Kevy I love Alex and I just don’t think...” “That young man out there has been worried sick about you for months. He has done every thing in his power to make you happy. That day you were rushed to emergency he stayed by your side. He didn’t call us until he knew that you were taken care of first. He was there during the birth of your child and spent every waking hour with her telling her about you. When he thought he had lost you he was devastated. He didn’t want to go on. But he had too for the sake of the baby and finding out that you were still alive. If you weren’t pregnant and you did die. AJ wouldn’t want to go on with his life. He would rather be in heaven with you then here alone with out you in his arms. You need to think about what you’re doing to yourself everytime you tell him no. You two have been together for six and a half years now. He’s been grieving the pain of almost loosing you. He had also blamed himself for you being sick.” Kevin said looking over at her as the tears fell. “I do love him with all my heart and I want us to be happy.” “I know you love him. I know you tell him that all the time. I want to see you both happy. I know that AJ has his problems but Alex wants to be a family and marry the woman who he loves and who loves him. Baby you love him so much and I can see that you do. You need to do this. You’ve got the ring, just tell him that you’re sorry and that you should have listened to him.” He said wiping her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Can you go find him so I can apologize?” “Sure.” He said as he left the room.

I was standing by the window in the hallway when Kevin came back to talk. I turned to look at him. “You have got a very special lady, who would like to talk to you, if you’ll listen to her. She also said that whatever you have to say she’ll listen.” Kevin said. I took in a deep breath and headed back. I walked back into her room. “Alex can I say something to you?” She asked. “Sure, go ahead.” I said sitting down in the chair next to her bed. “Alex, I do want to marry you. But what I think the reason I keep telling you no is not because I think you’re not ready. Baby you are more then ready to settle down with a family. I just don’t think...” “You think that once you say yes that I’ll find someone better to take your place.” I said taking her hand. “Yeah, because it’s happened before with Sarah. You had a good woman and you blew it by cheating on her.” “But I’ve got you. You’re the one now that makes my life complete and whole. Out of almost seven years of being together, I have never once thought about cheating on you. Baby you’ve turned my life around and made me the man who I am to day. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I need someone who can trust me. Someone who will believe in me. Someone who won’t think I’m out cheating on them every time I walk out the front door.” I said standing up. “But baby, I don’t think wrong of you because you have always been faithful. It’s just... hard to deal with things when you’re so used to your bad past.” She said starting to cry. “I just want to be the man you fell in love with, that’s all. I need to go.” “Where are you going?” “I just need to think things through. By myself." “Are you coming back?“ “I don’t think so." I said leaving her alone in her room.

I headed outside for a smoke and to think what I was going to do next. I love her so much, to just drop out of her life for good. She had my baby and I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad for the rest of my life. I want to see my daughter grow up. I want her to have a father and a mother. I just don’t want her growing up without a father like I did. “Damn it! What the hell am I going to do?” I yelled as the tears fell. “Alex.” Someone said. I turned to see that it was Kevin. “Hey Kev.” I said wiping my eyes. “You alright man?” “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” “So she apologized?” Kevin asked. “She did and I believe every word. I’m just starting to believe what she said is true. That I will find someone else.” I said hitting my cigarette. “Do you believe that you’ll find someone else?” “I sat there a moment to think that one through. “I don’t really know. That‘s why I left.” “Tell me you just didn’t brake up with her after six and a half years? If you truly love her and would do anything for her you can make this a happy ending for the both of you? Hell for all three of you!” “You know what, you’re right. I can’t just give up that easily.” I stomped out my smoke and went back into the hospital.

When I got back to her room I found Allison sitting by the window. Looking beautiful as ever with her hair brushing her shoulders. The way her gown shows off her legs. The way she bites her bottom lip when she’s worried. The way her tongue wets her lips. I pulled back from the door and pressed my back up against the wall. I started breathing heavily and my groin was throbbing. I needed this woman and I needed her badly. I can’t just brake up with her when she’s all I think about. If I broke up with her I’d still have to see her all the time. But not being able to hold her or touch her that would hurt the most. I closed my eyes to try and relax. Boy that won’t be that easy with her in the other room alone looking so damn fine. I looked back in the room again and saw that she was still wearing the ring. So I got up the nerve and went back in. She turned her head when she saw me walk over to her. “I thought you weren't coming back?” She asked. “I can’t just do that to you.” I said taking her hand in mine. “Baby, I’m going to ask you one last time. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you...” “No.” “Stop!” I said to her. “No. You’ve treated me like an angel. I’ve treated you like hell. You have no right to apologize. I do. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I love you and I’m so sorry.” She said as she just broke down and cried. “Baby, please. Let me just say what I have to say.” I started as I placed my hand on her cheek and wiped a tear with my thumb. “I want us to be a family. Yanni needs both her parents. I don’t think I can handle not ever being able to hold you or touch your... soft...skin. Oh man. Baby girl will you please, please marry me?” I asked trying to control myself. “Yes.” She whispered. “Yes Alex, I will marry you and make you the happiest man in the world.” I didn’t know what to say after that. I was in total shock. Then she leaned in and whispered into my ear. “Go close the door.” I obeyed and ran to the door. Closing it quickly. Then I went back to her and sat down.

I couldn’t keep my hands off her and she was driving me out of my frickin’ mind with her soft touches and gentle kisses. I went over the edge when she went for my ears. “I’ve missed doing this to you.” She said as she climbed on my lap. She then started leaving little kisses on my neck. “You have know idea.” I said moaning. Then she stopped. “I see someone else missed me too.” She said grinning at me as she licked her lips. I grinned back. While she sat facing me she started to unhook my belt while we were locked in a very hot and heavy kiss. I just couldn’t believe this was happening. She was turning me on in a hospital and I was letting her do this. I just didn’t care. I needed her and I needed her badly. She drove me wild and I needed to feel her. I slid my hand down the inside of her thigh and found what I wanted. She was ready for me and she knew it. She gave a low moan into my ear so I went for it. “Be gentle with me.” She whispered. “For you I promise.” I whispered back.

The next morning I woke up feeling good. Allison and I were lying on her bed. She had her head and her left arm on my chest. I had my arms wrapped around her. I didn’t want to wake her when her doctor came in to check in. “So Alex I see that my patient is now under your care.” Dr. Livingston said with a smile and tapping her belt. I looked down unaware that my buckle and jeans were still unhooked. “Oh, sorry about that.” I said pulling up the blanket. “That’s alright. She has missed you when you’re not here.” She said as she was checking her vitals. “What has she said about me?” I asked. “Just how much you mean to her and how much she loves you. I see she’s wearing your ring.” “Yeah. I came real close to leaving her until...” I paused to brush a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “I heard that Kevin talked to you.” “He a great friend.” I said. “So how are the guys doing?” She asked. “Brian and Leighanne stop by often. They brought their son Baylee by the other day.” “Oh that adorable little boy. He is so sweet.” She said. “He is. I had told them I was bringing Yanni out to see her mother so they brought him. Howie tries to visit when he can. I just haven’t seen him for a while.” “I haven’t seen Nick around for a few months. Is he okay?” “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him. I think he’s still taking this kind of hard. He and Allison grew up together.” “So this was hard for him to deal with.” Dr. Livingston said heading to the door. “Oh before I go. When she wakes, let her know that she can go home today. And if Nick wants someone to talk too.” “But aren’t you kind of...” “I’m not as old as you think Mr. Alexander James McLean!” I looked at her confused. “How do...?” “I know who you guy are. I haven’t told anybody about you guys being here.” “But why are you telling me this now?” “I’m no longer Allison’s doctor. So my lips are sealed.” “Thanks Doc. I’ll talk to Nick for you.” “Please call me Jillian or Jill. I’ll get her papers for when she’s ready.” She said walking back to the door. “Thank you Jill.”

The End