Why Are We Still Friends?
When I woke up, Nick was snuggled against me snoring quietly. For the first time in weeks I felt rested. I gently removed his arm from my body and made my way to the bathroom.
I stared at myself in the mirror noticing how much I aged in such a short time. I wasn’t the same happy go lucky Alexia, I once was. Now all I did was worry about trying to please everyone. I knew I wasn’t being fair to Brian or Nick. What was worse was neither knew what I was truly feeling. Keeping it all in was not good for my health. I needed time to figure out what I wanted in my life.
“You okay, Alexia?” Nick said from the other side of the door.
“Yeah, I just had to use the bathroom.” I opened the door and stepped out. “How did you sleep?”
“Wonderful. You have the most comfortable couch.” He gave me a smile. “How did you sleep?”
“Like a baby. I haven’t slept this well in a long time.” I started folding the blanket. The need to keep myself occupied on anything but Nick was my focus.
“Alexia, why aren’t you sleeping? Is it Brian? The baby?” He asked with worry in his voice. My heart melted that he cared that much about me.
“It’s Brian. It’s the baby. It’s you. It’s everything.” I admitted, as I fluffed a pillow.
Nick walked over to me and took the pillow from me. He threw it on the couch. Gently he took my hands in his. We stood there looking in each other’s eyes. Time seemed to stand still, neither of us speaking. Yet, both of us spoke volumes.
“Sweetheart, you can’t let me or Brian determine your happiness. I know you love Brian, but he’s shown you another side of him. It kills me knowing that he treats you that way. “
“But I love him.” Tears silently streamed down my face. Nick gently wiped them off my face. “Nick, I’m so confused. These pregnancy hormones aren’t helping. I just wish things were easier.”
“Sweet, sweet Alexia what can I do to help you?” Nick said tenderly. The look of love in his eyes made my heart swell. Did he have feelings for me? His actions were showing me that he cared. But how much?
“Just be yourself.” I reached out and hugged him. “Give me some time to sort things out. I have a lot to think about. I’m planning on taking a few days off from work to figure things out.”
“I think that is a good idea. Now, why don’t we go make something to eat? You have to be starving. I know I am.”
“Always thinking with your stomach, Carter.” I pinched his stomach and ran towards the kitchen. “Let’s go before you wither away.”
Nick and I got settled in the kitchen. He was busy stirring the soup, while I was in the middle of mixing up some homemade biscuits. It was comfortable cooking together. It was a feeling I hadn’t had in a while. Things with Brian weren’t like this in forever. In all honestly, this is what I wanted in my life. I wanted someone who enjoyed just being with me. Maybe someday I would have that, but with whom I was unsure.
“You want me to get that?” Nick pulled me out of my reverie. I didn’t even hear the doorbell ring.
“Sure. I need to get these in the oven.” I moved toward the oven as Nick went to get the door.
A few minutes later, Brian walked in with Nick. Neither of them looked very happy. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant visit. Nick busied himself with the preparing dinner. Brian stared at me with disgust.
“Brian, let’s go into the living room.” Turning to Nick, I said, “Make sure the biscuits don’t burn. I set the timer so you should be fine.”
Once we were in the living room, I took a deep breath before confronting my boyfriend. “What do you want?”
“I came to see how you were feeling. But I guess you don’t need me around.” Brian was pissed. His nostrils were flaring.
“I do need you around, but you choose not to be. I saw you ten minutes this week and that’s because I was in the hospital.” My voice rose.
Brian grabbed my arm. I pulled it away, but he had a strong grip on it. “Don’t even start with me Lexi. I’m not about to deal with your bitchiness. I came over to see how you were feeling and you’re playing house with Nick.”
“Don’t even go there.” I hissed quietly, not wanting Nick to get involved in this argument. “We’re just friends. At least he wants to spend time with me. Aren’t you supposed to at Disney World with your daughter?
“Why would I want to spend time with you when you act like a major bitch all the time?” He let go of my arm and walked toward the door.
“That’s right Brian, blame me. It’s always my fault. You haven’t done anything wrong in our relationship. I forgot you’re Saint Brian.”
“Stop acting childish. You know damn well how to piss me off. Call me when you grow up and stop acting like a bitch.” He turned around and opened the door.
“Don’t you dare walk away Brian. You can’t say those horrible things to me and just walk away. I’m sick and tired of the way you treat me. Where’s the Brian I know and love?”
“How about the way you treat me?” I looked at him with disbelief. “Yeah, Lexi. You haven’t been the perfect girlfriend either. You’ve been spending all your fucking time with Nick. Are you cheating on me?”
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe he asked me that. I prayed that Nick didn’t hear. This was getting out of control. “Are you out of your mind? I would never cheat on you. I thought you knew me better than that. Our problems have nothing to do with Nick.”
If only that were totally true. Nick definitely had an impact on things. I wasn’t ready to discuss that with Brian. I had a lot of things to figure out before I could be honest with myself, Brian and Nick.
“Bullshit! It has everything to do with Nick and you know it.” He glared at me with hatred.
“You know, I never thought our relationship would turn out like this. Brian, I love you.” I said quietly. The anger in his eyes changed to sadness. “You need to leave before we both say something we regret.”
I reached over and pressed a kiss to Brian’s cheek. Without a word, he turned and walked out the door. My heart was breaking. It was like I was losing Brian for good.