“Thanks for coming,” he said as he kissed her.
“I couldn’t say no, I love you and I can’t take this anymore we need to tell him.” She stood up from the bed and started to get dressed.
“Give me a little more time Sarah, it’s a little hard for me,” he sat beside her and kissed her cheek.
“NO! Howie, he expects me to be with him during the break. Do you really want me to spend all that time with him? Have him caress and touch me…” she looked at Howie as she spoke.
“No, it’s just hard I don’t want to loose his friendship,” he looked down at the carpet. “I knew you would tell me this, that’s why I subconsciously disappeared from the hotel today. I am sure by now they are all aware of my disappearance. When I get back I will be asked every imaginable question available, and I will tell them all about us. I just need you to be there with me, I need you to hold my hand and by my side when I confront him. Especially him, he’s like my brother and I know he will want to kill me.” He sighed and looked into Sarah’s eyes with care and concern.
“I know everything will be ok. I know AJ; he will be ok with it. It will take him a while but he will accept it, he will,” she repeated trying to stay positive about this situation.
“I hope your right,” he sighed and looked at his watch. “We should get going then.”
***********
He took a deep breath as he saw the big crowd of fans outside the hotel room. He asked the taxi driver to please wait while he made a call. Three minutes later he spotted Jason and Marcus come out and toward the taxi that was now surrounded by fans. He saw the not so happy look on the body guards as they made way for him. He was able to smile as he saw Sarah walk into the hotel unnoticed. Finally after several pulls and grabs he made it inside the hotel safely.
“Howie what the hell were you thinking?” asked Jason as he looked at him.
“I know, it won’t happen again trust me,” he told him with a stern voice. “I’m sorry I know you don’t deserve me talking like that but, you will see why I am like this in a little bit.” With that he walked toward the elevators where Sarah waited hidden in between some plants. He spotted her and smiled at her, “let’s go get this over with.”
“Ok,” she said and both walked into the elevator slowly. She was able to see the surprised look on both Jason’s and Marcus’s face when they saw them holding hands. She knew they had figured it out.
The elevator doors open and Sarah stepped out waiting patiently as she saw the trouble Howie was having. “It will be ok,” she went back into the elevator and with care pulled him out.
*******
They all saw the door open and saw Howie come in. “I know you all have questions, and I will answer them but right now I just want to talk to Kevin outside please.” He looked at all of his friends; all of them had a worried face on them. He saw AJ look hurt after he heard he wanted to talk to Kevin instead of him.
Kevin walked to him and both left the room in silence. “What the…-” said AJ as he got up and pointed to door that had just closed. “Now, I know something is wrong with him.”
“Calm down AJ, he said he would tell us all. Be patient,” said Brian. Was it him or was Howie acting weird literally. He was a totally different Howie to the one they all knew, and they were about to know why soon.
Ten minutes had passed but it felt like forever to all of them. They finally saw Kevin come in with a serious face. “I know everything and I want to tell you guys that, I believe every bit of it and Howie has my support. This is something very shocking and it will definitely shock some of you more than others.” He said as he stared at AJ in particular.
Howie came in and stood by Kevin as he spoke, “I know I have been acting weird lately and have been a little annoying. I am very sorry but, I have a reason for all this. I don’t know how to say it, but I know I have to – I have found someone special in my life. In the person I less expected to find it in…” he sighed and tried to find air. He felt Kevin’s hand on his shoulder giving him the support he needed.
“That’s great,” said Brian with relief as he heard Howie. “You have my support too.”
“Yeah, mine too,” said Nick with a smile on his face.
“NO, its not! It’s not great!” he said fast before anyone else spoke. “It’s not because I am going to hurt someone I love so much with this! AJ I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen…” he looked at AJ with concern as he spoke again. “I know you will hate me after this, but please try to understand me.” With that the door to his room opened again and in came Sarah.
She slowly walked up to Howie and intertwined her hand with his. “I said I would be by your side to confront this together. AJ I am sorry also, but it happened I fell for Howie and he fell for me. I think he actually hated me at first but it just happened.” She looked at AJ with sadness in her eyes.
Everything turned mute as he saw her hold his hand. What was wrong with this world? The words what goes around comes around kept playing in his head. “What goes around comes around right? Well, thanks Sarah I got the message but why Howie??? I love you, Dammit!! I will not tour with you guys, if this piece of shit continues to be part of this group… I need to get out here this room is starting to feel like hell!!” he looked at them all and walked out of the room shaking off Brian’s grip.
***********
She felt happy inside as she heard the news, Nick had been very vague and was seriously worried about AJ. He had told her he was very devastated and was not going to sing with them unless Howie left. But he was not opening the door to his room to anyone. “Maybe I should try,” she said as she sat beside Nick.
“Actually that doesn’t seem like a bad idea.” He smiled at her and spoke, “go to him, he needs a friend to talk to. Do you think you can convince him to perform tonight???”
“I don’t know, but I can be a friend and hear him out. I would be mad too if the love of my life dumped me for my best friend.” She told him as she stood up.
“You have nothing to worry about, I am not going to do that to you,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her. He gave her a kiss and smiled as she pulled away.
“I better go and check on him.” She smiled as she walked out the suite.
**********
“AJ, it’s me Rose open up!” she yelled from outside his door. She put her ear close to the door to try and hear, but it was all silent. Then she was surprised as the door finally opened and he pulled her in quick.
He locked his door again and turned around to look at Rose. He wiped his red eyes and spoke, “It’s over for me Rose.” He took a drag from his cigarette and held it for a long time before letting out the smoke.
His room was dark except for the light in the restroom and the dim light from the windows. “No, it’s not AJ. I actually think that stuff happens for a reason.” She sat beside him on the bed and slowly took the cigarette from his hand. “You know I always wondered how this felt; I mean you know what was so cool about smoking.” She looked at him as she put the cigarette to her mouth. She slowly took a drag and quickly started coughing.
He couldn’t help but laugh as he saw Rose in hysterical coughs. “Just the first time you get the coughs then it’s the best part of you daily routine, just taking a smoke. It calms my nerves” he said as he took the cigarette away from her and putting out in the ash tray. “But, I wouldn’t recommend it, especially for you.”
After coughing forever it seemed she spoke, “oh my god how can you do that to you lungs everyday! I will never smoke ewww.” She began to laugh as she realized she had made a fool of herself in front of AJ.
“So, what do you think about my situation now?” he asked her as he faced her and looked straight into her eyes.
“Well besides the torture you give you lungs everyday with that,” she pointed at the box of Marlboro lights on his nightstand. “I think it’s pretty good, you have experienced so many things that are good for you to focus on the bad ones. I think that you should be happy and glad to have found out now than later. I personally think you can’t stop from falling in love, even if sometimes that person already has someone.” She smiled at him as she finished her sentence.
“Like you,” he said in a soft tone as he got closer to her face.
“Like me what?” she asked him as looked away from his stare.
“Like, I am glad I met you, you’re a good part of my life. Can I be honest with you?” he asked her as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly.
She felt her stomach flutter as she felt his touch and only managed to nod as she looked at his hand holding hers.
“I am not as mad as I thought I would be, I think I have realized something during this tour… I have realized that I fell in love with someone else.” He said to her in a whisper as he inched even closer to her face.
“I am happ-y for you,” she managed to say as she looked at him with anticipation.
“You should be,” he said as he leaned and kissed her mouth softly at first and then she actually intensified the kiss. He put his hand behind her head and softly laid her down on the bed. “I love you, Rose,” he whispered into her ear as he kissed her soft neck. He smiled as she responded with a soft moan.
“We – can’t do this AJ,” she was able to say before she lost control of her own will…
************
“She’s in there with AJ, hopefully she can get him to come to his senses,” said Nick as he plopped on the couch near Brian.
“Well I wished she hurried up, we have delayed the concert an hour in half already, if not we will have to cancel. I really don’t think that will make our fans happy.” He smiled at Nick as he spoke.
“Oh, god this is my entire fault,” said Howie as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Enough, everyone everything will be all right, I know AJ he just needs time. I already told Johnny to cancel the show, we will recompense our fans with another show the day after tomorrow,” said Kevin as he walked into Nick’s suite.
*************
She was looking at the clothes that was spread out on his suite. She was in heaven at the moment and a smile was spread on her face. She didn’t want this moment to ever go away, when she saw her pants vibrating. She realized it was her phone and with hesitation, she knew she had to answer that call. “Hello,” she whispered as she made it into the bathroom for privacy.
“Hey, babe how is it going? Hey don’t worry about today’s concert it’s been postponed… How is he?” questions kept flying through his mouth. He bit his lip as he heard her sigh on the other side.
“Well, it’s a little better but, I don’t think he wants to see anyone for today. I will talk to you later I have to go, I don’t want him to see me talking to you or anyone else,” she said quickly and hung up the phone. She just couldn’t talk to him at the moment. She looked at herself in the mirror. What had she done? She was a mess and now she just couldn’t go back to Nick and pretend nothing had happened between AJ and her. Had AJ meant what he had told her? Had he fallen in love with her? Or was he just getting revenge? Had he used her only? She sighed and quietly went back to the bed where AJ laid. She rested her head on his chest and just listened to the soft beat of his heart. She closed her eyes and relived this moment again in her head. She smiled as she felt his hand rub her back. “Are you awake now?” she asked as she looked toward his face.
“Well, I guess it was real you are here with me. I for a second thought I had been dreaming,” he said as he opened his eyes. “What time is it? Please tell me I only dozed off and that I will make to the concert,” he rubbed his eyes as he reached for his cell phone on his nightstand.
“They postponed it. I guess they couldn’t have you sing after what happened,” she told him.
“Oh, well good,” he said as he put his phone back down, after a quick glance at its screen. “Fifty four missed calls, wow that’s a new record for me,” he said as he kissed her forehead. “Rose…- I meant what I told you earlier.” He said as he kissed her passionately. “I have always had a crush on you; I just didn’t want to admit that I was opening up to feeling again like that. So I ignored it and then Sarah came back, made me remember the great times I had with her. I forgot for a while about the feelings I was feeling for you, and then I find out that Nick was after you. I thought he would get over it and leave you alone, because you would not take him seriously. I was proven wrong when you guys told us you were officially dating. I want to know what I am, for you Rose. Where do I stand in your life.” he looked at her with anxious eyes.
Those words made her realize she was not single and that she had committed a terrible sin. She looked down not wanting to see him, “I woke up in a hospital bed not knowing who I was, and the first person my eyes met was you. Since that day I felt a special bond with you and for two months you were the only one I knew. I can’t deny that my feelings for you have always been as more than just friends. I always felt jealous when you talked to me about Sarah, but I didn’t care because all I cared for was your happiness. Then Nick came and made me feel wanted in that kind of sense. At first I just thought he was hot and cool to hang around with. He persisted in being more than a friend and that’s when I started to feel differently toward him. Then one thing led to another and we became a couple…- you know the story. Right now I think we are both very confused and what happened is part of that confusion. I have to admit I love you but, Nick won part of my heart with his affection… and I can’t tell you that I don’t love him,” she said as she wiped her eyes.
He was trying not to sound hurt with what she had just told him. She had every right to feel that way; he had only offered friendship to her till now. “I fucked didn’t I?”
She was caught of guard by his comment. “No, why?” she asked as she looked at him.
He sighed heavily and spoke, “Because this wouldn’t be happening if I would have asked you out when I realized I liked you as more than the girl I saved from dying.” He finished his sentence and pinned her under him. “Rose you’re a dream come true to me, you body under mine feels so good. Let’s enjoy this night and not think of the consequences or betrayals we are causing. I want you to experience my love and then you will have to choose Rose. I will be praying for you to choose me.” He smiled and caressed her cheek.
She felt like butter as she lay under him, his way of touching her and kissing were so different to Nick’s. Nick was the pretty boy with the blue eyes, but once you got to know him he could be very wild and inspirational…AJ in the other hand was a very sexy emotional type of guy and boy was he hot with the tattoo’s and his sexy raspy voice. Her conscious demanded her to get out of there and forget about him, that Nick did not deserve this…but her heart told her to let go and be loved. She had to close her eyes and think. She was too late; she had lost all will power as she felt AJ’s lips on her body.
**********
It was almost one in the morning and Nick laid awake in bed waiting patiently for his beloved Rose. Why was she taking so long, why did he have a bad feeling? He shook his head and tried to think of something more pleasant.
He was really happy that Rose was finally giving in and he definitely liked the idea of her now wanting to spend more time with him. She was definitely becoming attached to him just like he was to her. He looked at his cell phone, like that would make Rose call him. He was worried for his friend and the stupidities he could commit if he didn’t get over the fact that Sarah did not love him.
He sighed as he remembered the look on Howie’s face when AJ told him he would never sing with them if he continued to be a backstreet boy. His eyelids were getting heavy all this stress wasn’t helping. He tried to stay awake and wait for Rose but, his body could no longer obey him and he fell asleep.
********
She was wide awake thinking about what had happened not only had they talked but they had sinned several times; she was in a stage of euphoria and confusion. She looked at his head resting on her chest as he breathed silently. It was three and she was wide awake thinking how she was going to explain this to Nick. Who did she love more? So many questions and no time to think, she carefully moved AJ’s head to a pillow and slid out of bed. She got dressed and walked to the balcony. She had to dissect her heart and find an answer to this situation.
Chapter End Notes:
So what you think?? pretty complicated don't you think?? please review.
