He watched her from far; she was busy searching for something on the internet. She had been different with him since the time she was with AJ in his room. He wondered how disturbed AJ had made her feel. The good thing was she able to get to him; he had forgiven Howie and Sarah.
AJ was a different person; he had a smile on all the time. He was now anxious for life and he had admitted to Sarah that he had only gone back with her because of the memories he had of her. Did that mean he was now ready to open his heart to someone else? If so, had he found that someone? He shook his head and walked up to Rose, “I was thinking we could go to New York for a few days, then head to Orlando for AJ’s party. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a good idea,” she said not really hearing what he was saying. She had postponed opening her emailing for three days and now she needed to see if her cousin had answered her email. She was in a terrible state of mind lately; she had only one thing in mind. Who did she love? Who should she choose? Finally pushing inbox she smiled as she her cousin’s response.
“Rose, what’s wrong with you?” he said as he saw the way Rose was ignoring him basically. He sighed heavily as he saw her watching the screen as she opened her email. He was starting to get mad at her; lately she evaded him like he was a pest or something. He was her husband and he had thought they had progressed in this relationship. But, now it looked like they had hit an obstacle. “ROSE!! Did you even hear what I told you?” he covered his mouth with his hand as he realized he had exploded and had screamed at her.
She had completely blocked Nick from her mind as she read the email that was putting her up to date about her family back home, but she was brought back when she heard Nick raise his voice at her. She turned to face him and for once felt anger toward him. “You can’t talk to me like that,” she told him.
“I know I’m sorry but, lately you’ve been ignoring me and we have not had any physical contact. I want to know how I can help you,” he told her in an apologetic tone.
She felt a stab in her heart as she saw his beautiful blue eyes fill with water. He was about to cry for her, he loved her. She did the only thing she thought she could to show him she did care for him. She touched his face and softly kissed his plush lips. “I’m sorry,” she whispered she wanted to tell him everything; she knew he would understand her. But, she wasn’t able to as he kissed her back with passion.
**********
“Hey, I just wanted to say bye. I am leaving tonight and I heard you were leaving at four.” He was lying; he just wanted to see her.
“Thanks AJ,” said Nick as he wrapped and finished tying his robe.
He felt anger as he saw Nick with a smirk on face. He tried to control his emotions and spoke, “Are you going straight back to L.A.?”
“Nope, I know how much Rose enjoyed New York when we were on tour. So I told her we would go there for Christmas and then join you all in Orlando for the New Year’s party Johnny wants to have with us.” He told AJ as he looked back into the room.
“Oh ok well, have fun,” he said as he walked away. Had he seen right? Was Rose playing with his emotions? She never told him that he was the one she had chosen. But she shouldn’t because she liked him first. Nick could find someone else.
*********
Christmas came and went…but for him it was loneliness. He couldn’t stop thinking of her; he had no right his conscious would tell him. Its just he couldn’t forget her…he had the chance to have her but he preferred someone he thought he already knew. He still couldn’t handle that she was in New York with Nick though. Tomorrow he would see them again in Orlando. Could he handle it? He was desperate and had dialed her number a few times but had chickened out at the last moment, hanging up before she answered. Was she going to choose Nick?
**********
She looked at him fast asleep on the bed. She played with his blond hair, she smiled she couldn’t deny that this Christmas was one of the best she had had. Nick was a child in a man’s body she had never laughed so much. But then sadness struck her heart…she remembered the past events with AJ and realized she had to make a choice. Slowly and with out waking up Nick she got dressed. Writing a small note she walked out the suite and into the busy street.
She had so much to think about; so many feelings drowned her heart. She walked the streets just looking at everything in detail. She even prayed for guidance and even asked her mother for help…her mother was close enough to god to ask him for her, what to do? Time went by and before she knew it was getting dark. She started to head back to the hotel and as she walked she made a decision. She made a pit stop on a phone booth and dialed the familiar number.
“Hello?” she answered as she continued to apply her nail polish.
“Romey?” she asked knowing exactly it was her.
“Yeah, Rose?” she asked with a smile forming on her face.
“Yes! Oh my god, how are you? I miss you…” she told her cousin.
“Oh I am good…I am sorry about Rony…” she said getting sad as she mentioned his name. She hadn't had a descent talk with her cousin since her departure that day in the church and the one email a few days ago.
“I am too…I loved him I did.” She said to emphasize to her that she did love Rony.
“I know I have nothing to argue there. But tell me how does it feel to marry a Backstreet boy…and not just any Backstreet boy but Nick?” she asked smiling again.
She sighed heavily before responding… “That’s why I am calling you…I need your help. My dad doesn’t want to hear from me ever again…you’re all I have.”
**********
He heard the door open and quickly went toward the entrance. “Hey I was getting worried, I called your cell phone but I got no answer?” he asked as he hugged.
“Yeah it’s off, I haven’t charged since we arrived to New York. But, I am here now did you get a good rest?” she asked as she caressed his worried face.
“Well I was resting well till I woke up and found out you weren’t in bed with me. I found you note and I understood you needed to have time alone so I played some video games. I have had a pretty lazy day…but now that you’re here we can go out to dinner or something?” he asked as he changed his worried expression to a happy one. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he saw her sad expression something was bugging her.
“Nothing,” she said as she turned her stare away from him. If she was going to do what she planned she needed to pretend to be happy just for this one more night.
*******
She held tight to her cousin, so many memories flooding her mind. “It’s so nice to see you Romey…” she began to cry as she continued to hug her. She took a deep sigh as she the huge airport… DFW airport it was still just like she had seen it.
“I know Twinkles its nice seeing you too…” she laughed as she saw her cousin laugh at the mention of her nickname. “Come on let’s get you home…”
Home, what a scarce word to her, to her knowledge she had no home. “Yeah home,” she said with a low voice.
She didn’t know how to break the news to her about her dad. The drive to her house was pretty silent. Finally she broke the silence and spoke, “Twinkles I a have to tell you something,” she finally said.
She didn’t like the tone of her voice, “what’s wrong Romes?” she asked now worrying.
“Its uncle Mark he’s not doing so well…Louisa called me and told he is in desperate need of a kidney transplant but he’s afraid of contacting you because he feels guilty. He has acute renal failure.” She finished as she parked into her home.
“No, then what are we doing here? Take me to him…I want to see him.” she said tears rolling down her face. “You know I don’t hate him…” she said in a sad tone.
*******
Again he woke up with her not being there; he sighed and called her name. After realizing she was not there he hesitantly stood up. Searching for her everywhere in the suite he came back to the bed and saw the envelope with his name on it on the night stand. As he reached for it he saw there was one for AJ also…he was confused why would she leave a letter for AJ here? He carefully opened the one for him and pulled out a letter…causing the wedding band she wore on her finger fall out too. He slowly picked up the ring and quickly began to read the letter…
Nick,
I don’t know where to start. I am confused, distressed and full of guilt. I can’t continue to hurt you and pretend that my heart belongs to you…I have deep feelings for you and I really enjoyed our time together but, at the same time I couldn’t completely give in. I don’t know how to say this to ease the pain I am sure I will cause you. I can’t love you Nick like you deserve, you deserve someone better than me. I am no good for you…because my heart belongs to someone else. I really am sorry and for that reason I prefer to leave and never see you again. I couldn’t live with myself if I continued to hurt you…please we tried, I tried but I can’t lie. I just don’t feel the charm I feel for someone else. Please forgive me and please sign the divorce papers you will receive from my lawyer. I promise that after that you won’t hear from me again. I want to thank you for the wonderful times I did pass with you…I love you but not like you deserve.
Rose
PS. Please give the other envelope to AJ for me please. Please tell the rest of the guys that it was honor to have such great friends and talented too. You now have one more fan to add to you list. I have sent Johnny my letter of resignation as well… so he is well aware.
He couldn’t understand why. He reread the letter several times and knew he had lost. Rose didn’t love him and yet it hurt so bad…he wanted to shout and go find her convince her he understood she needed time…She had to let Rony go. Then he froze what if it wasn’t Rony?
Chapter End Notes:
ok upon request here is another chapter... enjoy.
