“I’m pregnant.”

The words spilled from Brielle Madison’s mouth and Lily Hunt stared shocked at her best friend.

“Um, can you say that again?” The bustle of the people around them on the outdoor veranda of the bistro faded away as she set her mocha latte down and watched the petite blonde across from her with wide eyes.

“I’m pregnant.”

Lily gaped, opening her mouth to speak but nothing coming out.

Brielle sighed and tucked silky blonde locks behind her ear. “Say something.”

“Wha…how…you….how can you be pregnant?”

“I think you know how.”

Lily blinked, pressing her fingers to her forehead a minute then looked back to her friend. “I know how. But…” she waved a hand, “how?” Brielle didn’t have a boyfriend, and last time she’d checked she hadn’t even been dating anyone.

Brielle’s eyes dropped to the table and she fiddled with the napkin in her lap. “It’s a long story.”

“I have time.” The darker haired woman sat up straight in the chair.

“Course you do.” She smoothed the napkin some, keeping her attention on the table in front of them.

“Brielle,” Lily reached over and touched her arm, “you’re my friend and I want to help you. You have to tell me what happened.”

But she wasn’t sure if she could; it was all so humiliating and it meant recognizing defeat. But she also knew there really wasn’t any way around not telling her nearest and dearest, not to mention, one of the few friends she had. “Alright,” she finally relented, shifting down a bit more in her seat and turning her somber blue eyes upon the woman across from her. “You remember that meeting I had with Benjamin Lutkas?”

The brunette gave a nod, listening closely, her own green eyes filled with concern.

“That meeting didn’t go so well.” She balled the napkin and tossed it onto the table, her mind taking her back to that day.

~*~

“I’m sorry, Miss Madison, but this just isn’t going to cut it.”

Brielle stared at the tall, balding man seated behind a dark mahogany desk, her stomach heart sliding right into her toes at his words. “I um…I could take them again.”

“Miss Madison,” he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose before replacing the frames, “I don’t have time for you to take them again. In fact, I don’t think I have any more time for you again.”

His words echoed in her ears and she had to fight back the tears. “I…um…but…”

“You just don’t have what it takes, my dear.” He sat back in his chair, folding his hands together and resting them on his ribcage. “I know you want to and I know you are trying, but you don’t. The eye of an artist is not there. These pictures are nothing but garbage.” He motioned towards the photographs scattered over his desk. “There isn’t a single one in that pile I can use.”

“I…” Brielle was speechless. No one had ever told her that her photographs were garbage before. Sure, no one had seemed to care for them, but no one had been that cruel or disheartening. They’d always politely turned her down and left her with hope that someone else would like them. But all those hopes and dreams were quickly starting to plummet before her teary eyes.

“I’m sorry, Miss Madison.” Benjamin Lutkas leaned forward again and began gathering the glossy black and white photographs. “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I only speak the truth. And the truth of the matter is you just don’t have it. This is a hard enough business to break into and you always have to bring your A game. You may be trying, but it’s not working.” He tucked the photos back into the manila folder then held it towards the sullen blonde. “Might I suggest you think about taking up another career?”

Brielle wordlessly accepted the folder back. Her whole heart and soul had gone into taking these pictures and this man was trashing them like they were nothing; like she was nothing.

“The world’s a big place. There’s a lot out there; you’ll find your niche.” He gave her a reassuring nod then walked her to the door. “You’re still young; don’t let it get to you, eh?”

She wasn’t sure she could speak around the lump forming in her throat, but she mumbled some kind of thank you then quickly fled the room, hurrying down the hall and past the employees that milled about. She made it down the elevator and into the lobby, pausing only long enough to stare at the folder and see those hopes of becoming a great and well known photographer being washed down the toilet. It was never going to happen, she was never going to be anything more than what she was; a failure.

Trying to blink the tears out of her vision, she dumped the folder into the nearest trash can, where they belonged, and hurried from the building.

Twenty minutes later found her in a ragged looking bar seated at the counter trying to drown her sorrows in a glass of Jack Daniels.

What was the point of anything, she wondered, staring into the amber colored liquid before taking a swallow and feeling the burn. It felt so good as it traveled down her throat and into her tummy, warming her body and numbing those feelings of no good and despair like it was intended to. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to feel; she only wanted to forget.

Benjamin Lutkas had been her last hope, her final savior. But he’d only driven another nail into her coffin and it wouldn’t be long before she was suffocating and succumbing to the darkness. She’d given up so much, left it all behind when she’d moved to the bustling city, determined to make her dreams come true. But she was drowning in her own failure and had no one to turn to.

Her parents flashed before her eyes and she took another large gulp of the alcohol. No, she couldn’t go back to them. They’d made it very clear that sunny day in June two years ago that if she walked out that door, she was to stay gone. They would not have a daughter anymore and when she ran out of money and was living on the streets, she was to remember that they had tried to warn her, to stop her and give her that life she deserved.

She’d given up a college scholarship, a boyfriend who loved her and a family that always did their best to make her happy. For what? To become a failure and nearly homeless in New York City? Was it worth it? She certainly thought it had been when she’d first arrived; bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to make her dreams come true. But it had been one closed door after another and it never seemed that Brielle had a key to them. She was continuously turned down, not even the newspaper would give her the time of day and publish just one photograph. But the determined blonde hadn’t let them get to her; she’d only taken their advice and applied it, trying even harder to churn out the kind of photographs they wanted.

But it was hopeless. And now, here she was, two years later in a seedy bar drowning her sorrows in alcohol. She had run out of money long ago, only making ends meet with what little she could scrape up from odd jobs here or there. She lived in a shabby loft apartment next door to drug dealers and pimps; her landlord was continuously on her about her rent. And now she didn’t even have the one thing that had always made it okay, made her know that all this was temporary and she would come out okay in the end.

So, what did any of it matter? Maybe she should take her neighbor, Johnny, up on his offer and turn a few tricks. It didn’t make a difference anymore; she had no reason to hold herself on a higher stoop than anyone else. After all, she was nothing but garbage.

“Here’s your bill, Miss.”

The bartender’s voice pulled her from her thoughts of misery and she turned her attention to the slip of paper he’d set down in front of her. Oh right, she had to pay for this alcohol.

Taking up her purse, she zipped it open and dug out her wallet. She had ten dollars left to get her through the week, which should be plenty to cover the two glasses of Jack Daniels she’d consumed. But upon checking her wallet, she only found it empty. If Brielle had been sober, she would have cared more, but the sight of her empty wallet did nothing but conjure up a giggle and her body sagged. Well, she used to have ten dollars left, but now it appeared she had nothing.

How could she get out of this? Should she cry? She most certainly felt like she could. Maybe offer to clear a few tables? Dishes? She was never good at dishes. Her older sister would tease her that when she had a place of her own, she’d need a housekeeper because there were a few things Brielle was just not good at. Maybe this bartender would take pity and just let her sulk away.

“Miss?”

She cast her cloudy blue eyes his way and saw the impatient look on his face. No, he didn’t seem the type to let her get away with this. “I um…” she checked her wallet thoroughly then began digging through her purse. Had someone stolen her ten dollars? Maybe it’d slipped out earlier. “I don’t…um…” her heart was starting to beat faster as the realization of what was going on began to sink in to her inebriated self.

“Do you not have the money?” He arched a brow and folded his thick arms across his chest.

“I…I did…” she stammered, rechecking her wallet again, “I swear I did.”

“Look, lady, if you can’t pay your bill, I’m gonna have to-”

“Here, this should cover it.”

Brielle looked over to see a gentleman next to her, sliding a twenty dollar bill across the counter. “Keep the change and bring us another glass each,” he instructed the bartender as the man accepted the bill and gave a nod, moving off to fill the request.

He seated himself on the stool next to hers and looked to her, his dark eyes taking her in.

Brielle just watched him, feeling herself flinching inwardly as he scrutinized her. “Um…thank you.”

The man reached and rubbed the slight beard that covered the lower half of his face. “You’re welcome, darlin’.”

The blonde gave a nod and glanced to the bartender as he set their drinks down then moved on again. Taking up her glass, she peered into it then looked back to the stranger. He was taking up his own drink and swirling in the glass before taking a swallow.

As their eyes met, he lowered his tumbler, still holding it in a hand that was covered with tattoos. “Can I ask you a question?”

Brielle tore her eyes from the designs on his skin and back to his eyes, noting the softness in them despite this hard exterior; a raspy voice, tattoos, and mysterious demeanor. “You just saved my ass; of course you can ask me a question.”

He chuckled at that. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?”

She gave a low laugh. “I think that is probably one of the most clichéd pick up lines I’ve ever heard.”

The man laughed, his eyes twinkling at the amusement he was finding in the situation. “That wasn’t a pick up line, honey. If I was trying to pick you up, you’d know.”

She took a sip of her drink, savoring it a moment before responding to him, “So I’m not pretty enough for you to pick up?”

“Oh, you’re pretty enough, alright.”

His eyes roamed her body and she felt herself shivering. Quickly, she took another drink. “Then why aren’t you trying?”

He tilted his head, shifting his body to face hers more fully. “Do you want me to?”

In all honesty, Brielle didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t know why she was playing with fire with a strange man and she had no idea why it was thrilling her. Had to be the alcohol. Maybe it was because she was to the point of not caring about a damn thing. Maybe she just wanted to feel something other than self loath and not being good enough. Whatever the reason, it caused her to set her glass down and turn to the stranger who was emitting a raw sexuality. “Maybe I do.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips and he set his own drink down. “What’s someone like yourself doing wasting your time in a place like this?”

Brielle lifted a brow, giving her own smirk and joining in his game. “Can you suggest anything better?”

“Oh, I can suggest a lot of things that are better. But maybe I should just show you.” He wet his bottom lip and rose from the stool, offering her his hand. “That is, if you think you can keep up.”

“Oh, I can.” She was surprised at herself, but didn’t back down. Chances are, she’d never see this guy again and after her horrible day, maybe in a way she deserved this.

His smirk grew and he helped her from the stool. “Then what are we waiting for?”

“We’re not.” She returned his smirk with one of her own. “C’mon.” She took his hand with both of hers and led him for the door, stepping out into the cool night air and hoping this would hold no regrets.

~*~

Lily stared at her friend, the tale of how she’d gotten herself knocked up swirling in her head. “You picked up a stranger at a bar?” She blinked. “Who are you?”

Brielle gave a heavy sigh and leaned back in her seat. “I don’t know, but I’m paying for it now.” She motioned towards her stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

“Did you get this guy’s number? How ‘bout his name? Did you go back to his place?”

“No,” she shook her head, “all I know is his name is Alex and he took me to a hotel.”

Lily’s eyes nearly bugged out. “A hotel?! Oh my God, Brie, he’s married!”

Brielle blinked at that. “I…no, I don’t think he is.” She shook her head slowly. “He was only in town for a few days and he was staying at the hotel. He didn’t have a ring.”

That seemed to calm her friend. “So, he’s not from New York? You have no way of knowing where he is and you don’t have his number?”

“No,” she sighed and rubbed her forehead, “this looks really bad.”

“That’s because it is. You got knocked up from some one night stand with a complete stranger.”

“You don’t need to remind me; I’m well aware of the situation.”

“I’m sorry.” Lily sighed and sat back, rubbing her forehead. “Are…are you sure you’re pregnant?”

“Oh yes,” Brielle gave a firm nod, “six tests told me I was.”

“Six?”

“Six.”

“Where did you get the money to buy six tests?”

“I didn’t buy ‘em. I went to the clinic and they give ‘em to you for free.”

“Oh.” Her brunette friend watched her. “Did you talk to a doctor?”

Brielle made a face. “No, I saw all six tests had the same outcome, freaked out and left.”

“How far along are you?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed and tried to count back how long it’d been since her sexual exploit, “a couple months?”

Lily nodded some, pushing her unwanted drink to the side. “You need to see a doctor, and you need to know what your options are.”

“I know what my options are.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.” She leaned forward and rested her forehead in her hands. “I’m not ready to be a mom; I’m only 21 for pete’s sake. What do I know about raising a child? I can hardly provide for myself let alone someone else.”

The brunette reached over and gave her friend’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You don’t have to go through this.”

Brielle lifted her head and met Lily’s gaze. “I don’t know if I could just …get rid of it.”

“I understand. But you really aren’t in the right place right now to have a baby, Brie. You are having a hard time paying your rent, how are you going to buy diapers and formula?”

“I…I don’t know.” She shrugged her friend’s hand away. “But if I keep the baby, I’ll figure something out.” A pause. “I mean, how could I just go and take away the life of someone? Someone growing inside of me? That I’m supposed to protect?”

Lily watched her friend, her heart hurting at what Brielle was going through. “I …I don’t know,” she spoke softly. “There’s always adoption.”

“Oh, just give my baby away?”

“Okay, maybe not.” She detected the annoyance in the blonde’s voice. “No, you know what, yes. Yes, give your baby away. Let someone who is capable of raising it financially and giving it the life that you wouldn’t be able to. That is probably one of the bravest and most wonderful things a young mother, who can’t provide, can do for her child.”

Brielle’s eyes grew teary and she held a hand protectively at her abdomen. “I don’t know if I could do that, Lil.”

“You don’t have too many options, Brie.” She leaned towards her friend. “Whatever you decide, you know that I’ll support you. You know that I’ll do what I can to be there and help you out. But you really need to think about this, think about everything that each decision you make is going to bring to yourself and that baby.”

“I will.” She wiped a stray tear away.

“And in the meantime, we have to get you to a doctor.”

“I can’t afford a doctor.”

“The clinic, my dear. We can take you there tomorrow. Then you can talk to someone who might be able to provide you with the information you need and answer your questions about all your options.”

Brielle watched her friend. “You’ll go with me?”

“Of course.” Lily reached and took her hand. “I’ll do what I can to help you, Brie. You know that.”

She couldn’t help the small grin that tugged at her lips. “I really appreciate that. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to go through this completely alone.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. That’s never going to happen.”

~*~*~*~*~

“So, according to my calculations and your last monthly period, I would say you are going into your eighth week of this pregnancy,” the tall, thin and red headed doctor spoke, checking the chart over before turning her gaze back to Brielle. “Which puts your due date,” she glanced to the chart again, “about June 21st.”

“Wow,” the blonde patient breathed out, glancing down to her flat belly. “So, um…everything is okay?” The doctor had just finished the initial exam; doing a thorough check of Brielle, getting her health history and answering any questions she may have about the baby and pregnancy. She had even set aside a few different brochures about the different options that Brielle had to choose from.

“Everything looks good so far.” She closed the folder and set it to the side, swiveling her chair back to her patient. “We don’t normally do sonograms this early, but would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

Brielle’s eyes widened. “You can do that?”

“Of course.” Doctor Harte, as she’d introduced herself, chuckled. “You’ll just need to lie back for me.”

“Can we um…can my friend come back in?” She spoke of Lily who had waited out in the waiting room while Brielle had her physical exam.

“She sure can.” The doctor opened the door and asked the receptionist to show Lily back, then she began setting up the proper equipment she would need.

After a moment, Lily joined the group and took Brielle’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “How’s everything going?”

“Good.” The blonde smiled up at her friend. “She says I’m almost eight weeks and the baby seems okay from what she can tell.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, and we’re going to get to hear the heartbeat.”

“Really?” Lily’s emerald eyes widened and she looked to where Doctor Harte was checking the equipment over.

“Yeah,” Brielle couldn’t help the grin that spread, “really.”

“That’s so exciting.” Lily pulled an empty stool over and sank down onto it, watching as the doctor lifted Brielle’s shirt and pressed the Doppler receiver to her stomach.

“Alright, it may take a few to find the heartbeat.” She began rolling the receiver over her stomach, searching out the baby. “We need to find the location of the fetus first.”

Both girls waited, watching as the doctor searched out the baby. Finally, a faint thudding filtered out over the speakers of the Doppler machine.

“And there we have it,” Doctor Harte announced.

“Ooh,” Brielle muttered softly, her eyes widening at the sound.

Next to her, Lily squeezed her hand. “That’s your baby.”

“My baby.” Tears dotted her eyes and she used her free hand to clear them from her cheeks.

“Is it….supposed to be that fast?” Her friend glanced to the doctor; the sound of the heartbeat a faster than normal thud.

“That’s normal,” Doctor Harte responded. “Fetus heartbeats can range anywhere from 140 to 170 beats per minute.”

Brielle looked to the red headed doctor. “That’s crazy.”

“Well, their hearts beat faster due to the small size; the smaller the heart, the faster it beats. They also breathe faster because their lungs are not developed and that can attribute to the faster heart rate as well.”

“That’s amazing,” Lily breathed softly, wiping at the corners of her eyes.

The expectant mother nodded and sighed softly, just listening to the echoing of the heartbeat throughout the room. “Does…it sound okay?”

Doctor Harte sent her patient a comforting smile. “It sounds wonderful. It’s not too fast and it’s not too slow; it’s just right.”

“Thank God.” She gave her friend’s hand a squeeze and looked down to her tummy. In just a few short months it would start to expand and soon be apparent of her condition. Sure, she was nowhere near ready to have this baby, and she had no idea how she was going to provide for it; but she knew one option that she just couldn’t bring herself to do. She couldn’t get rid of the baby, not after hearing the heartbeat and knowing that the little life forming and growing inside of her was doing well so far. She was the mother, she had to protect and keep the little one safe.

“Are you okay?” Lily’s soft voice broke through her thoughts as the doctor removed the receiver and began putting it away.

Brielle looked to her. “I have to keep this baby,” she managed in an emotional whisper. “I just have to.”

“Okay, honey.” Lily gripped her hand with both of her own. “You do what you need to do. And I’ll do what I can to help you.”

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat and wiped at a few remaining tears. “It’s going to be okay, right?”

Lily smoothed a hand over her friend’s head. “Of course it will be. Everything will work out, Brie, you’ll see.”

Brielle nodded and looked back to her stomach. She hoped Lily was right, because there was another life involved now, not just her own. So there really was no choice; things had to be okay. And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure it did.