Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry about the delay in posting, but I've really been swamped with work and that's cut into my writing time. But here's a brand new chp for you. Hope you enjoy. And as always, let me know your thoughts. Thanks so much!
“We need to talk,” Alex announced to Renee the moment she opened the door and found him standing on her porch. It had taken him all morning to gather up the courage just to drive to her house, so he knew he couldn’t beat around the bush or put it off any longer. The last thing he wanted was to chicken out, or let her convince him to change his mind.
Renee’s round eyes blinked slowly. “Alright.” She pushed the screen door open for him then turned and disappeared further into the house.
Alex followed her path and found her making herself some lunch in the kitchen. He took a seat on a bar stool across from her and watched as she spread mayo on a piece of bread before adding lettuce and tomatoes.
“You wanted to talk, so talk.” She cast her piercing eyes his way then returned to her task at hand.
He sighed and smoothed his hands over his jeans. The entire drive to her house, he’d run over and over inside his head what he was going to say; rehearsed it so well and thought it sounded reasonable and made a lot of sense. But now, sitting here, watching her as she tended to some lunch, he felt a panic start in his chest and suddenly couldn’t remember a single word of what he had intended to say. “Um…Renee…”
She looked his way once more then took a paper plate from a cabinet and set her sandwich on it, adding some potato chips. “Alex…”
“Renee, I,” he wet his bottom lip and tried to force himself to take a calming breath, “I’ve been doing some thinking.” She didn’t respond and once she was seated next to him with her lunch, he continued, “And I know that we’ve been through a lot together…” he trailed off and Renee fiddled with a potato chip.
“Why do I feel that there’s a but coming on?”
He sighed. “I’m sorry, Renee; I never meant to hurt you or make it seem like I was lying.”
“What’s the but?”
Here it comes. “I,” his voice wavered, “I can’t marry you.”
“What do you mean you ‘can’t marry me’?” She turned to him. “Is this about pushing the wedding up? Alex, you know I only want that because I would like for us to be married when our child is born.”
“No, it has nothing to do with that. Things have changed, Renee, and I just can’t…get married right now.”
A frown graced her features. “What are you talking about?”
He sighed. “What I said. I’m not in the place where I can make any kinds of promises; especially a marriage vow.”
“You don’t want to marry me?”
“I just…” his shoulders sagged and he turned his gaze away, “I can’t, I’m so sorry.”
“This is some kind of joke, right? Because I know you wouldn’t do something like this to me. You love me,” as she spoke, her voice began to grow louder.
Alex winced and turned back to face her. “Things have changed, Renee.”
“Yeah, I’m having your baby!”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” He had to remind himself to stay strong. “You’ve changed, Renee.”
Her eyes flashed at that. “Excuse me? How do you expect me to react when you bring some whore in that’s knocked up with your child?! Did you really think I’d want to be her best friend? Really, Alex, I thought you were smarter than that.”
This time it was his turn to grow angry. “See! That right there is what I’m talking about! The Renee I once knew would never have acted that way.”
“Then maybe you don’t know me.”
“Maybe I don’t.”
She frowned. “I think you’re the one that’s changed, Alex. All a sudden you’re all about Brielle and her baby. Like they’re your life and nothing else is important. You’ve left me and our child out in the cold. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for the tramp.” She hesitated then grabbed his arm, her sandwich long ago forgotten. “You do, don’t you?”
He tried to pull his arm away, wishing he had worn his shades to hide his eyes. “She’s having my child, Renee; of course I care about her.”
“Bullshit! It’s more than that and you know it! I can’t believe this! I can’t believe that you’re dumping me for some…some homeless child!”
“Renee, this has nothing to do with Brielle!”
“Look me in the eye and fucken tell me that!”
He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “Forget it, you won’t listen to reason.”
“You’re not talking reason. You’ve gone and fallen in love with this girl and now you’re breaking up with me.” Tears began to form in her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re doing that to me…to us…to this baby. Do you even care about our baby?”
“Of course I care about our baby.”
“No you don’t. All you want is to go play house with her.” She reached and wiped under her eyes.
Alex sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Renee, contrary to what you believe, my decision had nothing to do with Brielle. We’re not in the same place we were when I proposed and it’s not fair for me to have you think we are. You need to be able to find the person that makes you complete.”
“You make me complete.” She reached a hand for him. “Don’t do this, Alex, please.”
The tone in her voice cut through him and he could feel the guilt setting in. “Renee…”
“You don’t mean it. You love me, I know you do.” Her hand came up and smoothed over his cheek. “Don’t you remember promising that we’d love each other until the end?”
Alex studied her for a moment and when he finally spoke, his voice was soft, “This is our end.”
“No, it’s not!” She reared back and rose to her feet, tugging her shirt down over her thin waist. “I will not just let you walk out on me, Alex, on us! You’re only saying this because that bitch is probably sucking your cock.”
“This has nothing to do with Brielle!” He exploded, coming to his own feet.
Instead of flinching at his tone, she met it head on and with fire in her eyes. “You’re a fucken moron if you think I can’t see right through that. It has everything to do with her! If you’d been able to keep your dick in your pants where it belongs, then you and I would be happily planning our wedding right now.”
“Heh, and end up divorced because your true colors would have finally shown through.”
“Did Brielle put you up to this? Is she making you do this?”
“No one is making me do anything.” He sighed and rubbed the spot between his eyes.
“Your mother then.”
“Renee,” he was quickly losing his patience, “I know that you don’t want to hear this, but I can’t go on like everything’s okay, when it’s not. We’re both different people and I just don’t see a future for us together.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to speak. “I fully intend on being there for our child and doing what I can to help you and the baby, that’s not going to change. I would never leave you out in the cold. And I don’t see how you can even think that when I’ve brought a stranger into my home because she is having my child as well.”
“Easy, you don’t love me,” she retorted with.
He frowned. “I care about you a lot.”
“Heh, just as I figured. You’ve gone and fallen in love with that whore.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He couldn’t deny the truth, but he wasn’t about to admit it was the truth to Renee.
“I know enough!” She glared at him and grabbed up her sandwich. “I know I want you out of my house. And if you knew what was best for you, you would leave me the hell alone. Once my dad hears about this, he’ll want to kill you.”
“Let him try, your dad doesn’t scare me, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart!” Suddenly her sandwich was flying through the air and smacked him squarely on the shoulder.
Alex blinked and glanced to his shirt, seeing remnants of lettuce sticking to it. Slowly, he brushed it off then brought his gaze back to hers.
Renee was seething, her hands balled into fists so tight her knuckles were white. “I should never let you see your son.”
“M…my son?”
“That’s right; your son,” she sneered it at him and held a hand to her stomach.
He frowned. “How do you know it’s a boy? Brielle is farther along than you are and it’s still too early to tell.”
Renee’s eyes flashed. “Motherly instinct, I suppose.”
“You’re not going to keep me from my child.”
“Yeah, well watch me try.”
This time, it was his turn to ball his fists tightly. “You don’t want to get on my bad side, Renee.”
“You really think I care?” She arched her brows then flung her hand toward the hallway. “Now, get out of my house.”
Alex frowned. “I’ll give you some time to calm down then I’ll be back.” He grabbed his keys up from the counter then strode past her and toward the door.
“Go to hell!” She hollered at him, following through the house to the front entrance and slamming the door hard behind him once he stepped out onto the porch.
“Bitch,” he muttered, knowing he really didn’t think she was but feeling better about it at the same time. Blowing a puff of air from his lips, he started from the porch and to his car. Well, both Brielle and his mother would be so proud of him. He, on the other hand, was starting to rethink the situation and wonder if what he had done was the right thing. He knew in the past he’d loved Renee and really thought they belonged together, and now, in a matter of weeks he had changed his mind, not only about the wedding, but about their entire relationship. Was he losing his mind? Or was he just in love with another woman? Holy hell, his head hurt.
~*~*~*~*~
“I got a job!” Brielle’s excited squeal greeted Alex the minute he walked in the door, a few hours after his talk with Renee.
He blinked as she flung herself at him and wrapped him in a tight hug. “That’s great, Brie!”
“I know! I can’t believe it! I thought for sure I wouldn’t get anything, but they called me this morning.” She giggled and did a small dance, still holding him close.
Alex chuckled and returned the hug. “And they called you pretty quick; they must have loved you.”
“I think they did. They want me to start after New Years; January 3rd at 9am.”
Carefully, he extracted himself from her embrace and smoothed his shirt. “Which job is this; the restaurant, the hotel or the studio?”
“The studio.”
Her grin was from ear to ear and he couldn’t help but match it. “That’s so great, babe.”
“Yes, it is.” She sighed happily and took his hand. “Are you hungry? Your mom made this delicious tuna salad for lunch today and I had two helpings.”
“Where’s my mom now?”
“Oh, she ran to pick up the dry cleaning. Your housekeeper had something she had to go do for her son, so your mom said it was no problem to pick it up.”
“So, we’re alone here?”
Brielle arched a brow. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“No,” he chuckled low and started for the kitchen with her, “I was just asking.”
“Good.” She strolled with him, a pep to her step and their hands still laced together.
Once in the kitchen, Brielle insisted that Alex take a seat then she fixed him a plate of the tuna salad and a large glass of iced tea. “Here you go.” Setting it down in front of him, she slipped into the chair next to his and let out a sigh. “I’m going to need work clothes. They told me I needed to dress professional; dark slacks, pencil skirts and blouses or sweaters or nice, dressy tops.”
“Okay, we’ll hit up the stores before you have to start.” He took up his fork and dug into his lunch.
Brielle smiled at that. “And I’ll pay you back.” His eyes cut her way and she giggled. “What? I have a job now, I can do that.”
“You aren’t paying me back until you’re financially stable and even then I may not let you.”
“I’ll start sticking money in random places in your house.”
He pointed his fork at her. “Now that you said that, I will remember this conversation and if any turns up, you’ll find it right back in your wallet.”
She chuckled. “Alright, alright; but I will pay you back one day.”
“Maybe.” He winked her way then took another bite of his food.
They were both quiet for a moment, and Brielle rose from her seat and poured herself a glass of iced water. She rejoined Alex at the table and studied him a moment. “Are you okay?”
He looked over and met her eyes. Giving a nod, he wiped his mouth with a napkin then set it on the table next to his plate. “Yeah, I’m alright. How ‘bout you? How are you feeling?”
A shrug. “Okay, I guess.” She blinked. “Oh, your mom told me I should do a Lamaze class.”
“Oh, yeah, that might be a good idea.”
She nodded. “I looked it up online earlier and they don’t usually start till you’re about 25 or 26 weeks, and you need a partner.” She paused and sent him an adorable, little grin. “So, I was wondering…if you might like to be my partner when it’s time.”
Alex paused with a forkful of tuna salad halfway to his mouth. He lowered it back to the plate and a grin inched up the corner of his lips. “You want to do Lamaze together?”
“I do; after all, you are the father and you need to know the stuff too.”
“You want me in the room with you when you give birth?”
She blinked. “Oh, I hadn’t thought about that, but it’s more than giving birth. They teach you how to take care of the baby and diaper them and swaddle them and all kinds of stuff.”
Alex relaxed some. He wasn’t so sure how he felt about being right there, in on all the action, when the baby arrived. In reality, he hadn’t considered the idea either, but being asked to attend Lamaze with Brielle had put it into his head. And birth was a beautiful thing, but he didn’t know how well he’d handle all that…erm, beauty. Besides, he didn’t want her screeching at him that he was a no good, good for nothing, slimeball bastard who didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.
“So, will you come?”
He blinked out of his thoughts and looked at her. Even if he didn’t want to go, he knew he couldn’t deny her; he never could. “Of course I’ll go.”
“Great.”
Her smile made his heart melt and he didn’t realize he was staring until his cell phone gave a shrill ring and pulled him away from her. Taking it from his pocket, and half expecting it to be Renee, he made a face at the screen. “Shit.”
Brielle peered to the phone. “Uh oh, what’s that face for?”
“It’s my publicist.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
He chuckled low and rubbed his jaw. “She’s calling me about the whole baby thing, I’m sure. I’ve been avoiding her calls since the rumors started.”
“Oh, well that might not be a good idea. Don’t you want your publicist to know what’s going on so she can field the questions? Aren’t they hired to handle that kind of stuff?”
“Yeah.” He studied the phone then made a face and finally lifted it to his ear, just before his voicemail would have cut on. “Hello?”
“Why the hell are you avoiding my phone calls? Do you know how many messages I have left for you?” Whitley Preston’s angry voice greeted him.
Alex winced some, knowing his publicist was not a force to reckon with when she got angry. “I’ve been busy, Whit. You know I’ve been meaning to call you back. You’re still my girl.” He winked over at Brielle and she giggled low.
Whitley sighed. “Now is not the time to flirt with me,” but the tone in her voice told him she didn’t mind it. “We have a possible media catastrophe waiting to explode and you ignore my phone calls. If you hadn’t answered this time, I woulda just made my own story up and you’d have had to live with it.”
“I’m sorry; we’re talking now, so let’s figure it out.”
“Oh, how considerate of you,” she replied dryly and he could hear a rustling of papers. “Alright, who is this chick you’ve been spotted out and about with?”
Alex glanced over to Brielle. “Um, her name is Brielle Madison.”
“Is that the blonde or the brunette one?”
“The blonde.”
“Who’s the brunette?”
“Her friend, Lily Hunt.”
Whitley sighed and he could just imagine her leaning back in her seat, taking her glasses from her face and rubbing the bridge of her nose. That always got to him; when a woman slowly took her glasses off and let her hair down. It was a simple act, yet could entice him to the point of arousal. He wasn’t sure why it was such a turn on for him, but Renee had used it to the best of her ability, even going so far as to purchase some attitude glasses and wearing her hair up as often as she could. Whitley, however, had managed to escape his affections, which was very good because she made a habit of taking her glasses off and sliding them back on nearly as often as she blinked.
Not that the forty-something, married, mother of two wasn’t attractive. She had long, raven colored hair that always seemed to fall around her shoulders just right and large almond shaped eyes that looked like two pools of milk chocolate. Not to mention, the tattoos that decorated her shoulder blade, hip bone and ankle. He knew brunettes with tattoos was a weakness of his, but Whitley had made it clear that there would be nothing but a professional relationship between the two, so he could wipe whatever dirty thoughts he had right clear out of his mind.
However, that conversation had only come after he’d tried to hit on her. Of course, in his defense, he’d been drunk and young and stupid. It had been before he’d even gone into rehab. That’s how long Whitley had been around and she had reassured him numerous times that she had no intentions of going anywhere. And why would she? He always had something good for her to have to work on. And this new one was a doozy.
“So, what’s going on here, Alex?”
He sank back in his chair and let his fork drop to the plate. “Brielle’s pregnant.”
“So the rumors are true.”
“Very.”
“And?”
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “And…it’s mine.”
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? And now, it’s time to decide what you want to do publicly.”
Alex’s eyes shifted over to Brielle who sat watching him with a sweet expression; one that told him she had no idea what she was getting into. “Nothing, I don’t want to do a damn thing. I don’t want them following me, harassing me or Brielle or anyone else I’m associated with. I don’t want magazines or television shows calling me.”
“Sounds like you need to go far, far away for awhile then.”
“I wish I could.” He shook his head some. “But I know that’s not a real possibility. I just…want to make this as easy as possible for Brielle. They can come after me, but I don’t want them trying to get to her.”
“Do you want to release a statement? It might help calm things down. They won’t track you like their prey in hopes of getting the proof they need. Then you’d really only have to deal with the interview requests, which I can happily field for you, and the paps that happen to catch you out somewhere. A lot of celebrities manage to hide and evade from the media during their pregnancies.”
Alex sighed and mulled it over. “I could do that…but there’s just one more thing…”
Whitley paused, and when she spoke again there was a note in her voice, as if she knew this next thing was going to be a real shocker, “What’s that?”
His eyes met Brielle’s and she smiled then reached over and squeezed his hand. “Um…well,” he chuckled low, “this is kind of funny, you might say…”
“Alex…”
He knew that was her ‘quit messing around’ tone. “Renee is pregnant too.”
“I see.”
“And…we broke up; earlier today in fact.”
Brielle’s eyes widened at that, but she remained quiet.
“Well, you are quickly becoming a PR’s nightmare. Let me get this straight; you got Brielle pregnant…before or after you became engaged?”
“Before.”
“Okay, so you got Brielle pregnant, became engaged to Renee…got Renee pregnant then broke up with her. You like to make me work for my paycheck, don’t you?”
“You think I’m happy about all this?”
Whitley chuckled. “You know I’m not being serious, Alex, so calm down. It’s going to be okay. I can handle this.”
He rubbed his head. “So, what do we do?”
“Well, you’re going to put out a statement telling people what’s going on. We’ll keep it simple and I’ll handle the interview requests. You don’t want to do any, correct?”
And he was suddenly very grateful he had a damn good publicist, most would have run off screaming after having to deal with all the shit he’d tossed her way. “Not right now, I have a feeling Renee is going to be a handful, so I may have to do some down the road a ways, but for now, I’d rather not.”
“Got it. And we’ll handle Renee. Now, what do you want to let the public know?”
“Um, I guess we can tell them that yes, I am expecting a child with someone. Maybe we just don’t say anything about Renee yet. I told her I’d go see her again once she’s calmed down. So maybe we wait on that.” His eyes darted over to the blonde and he sent her a tiny grin, hoping she wasn’t upset about what had happened between him and Renee. The last thing he wanted was her blaming herself, yet again.
“Keep it anon?”
“Yeah, I think that’s best right now.”
“How are you going to handle your Twitter and Facebook?”
Alex lifted his brows. That thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Let’s hope no one calls me out on it. Maybe I can ignore them.”
“We could have one of the staff take control of it for awhile. Or at least monitor it.”
“That’d be great; the monitoring part. I’d like to still post and what not.”
“Of course.”
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a slight kink there caused by all the stress. “Is that it?”
“Hmm,” he knew she was surveying her notes, “I think that’s good for now. I’ll write up a statement and send it to you for approval before releasing it. And if anything else comes up, I’ll call you. If not, then we’ll get back in touch in a few days. This time, you better answer your damn phone the first time I call.”
“You got it, Whitley,” he chuckled low, “thank you and I’m sorry.”
“I’ll let it go this time, McLean. Don’t let it happen again and if you need anything or something happens, call me. I don’t want to have to see it on Blurb first.”
“You got it.” He apologized again then finally severed the call. Sighing heavily, he set the phone onto the table and took in the sight of the tuna salad heaped on his plate. He didn’t have an appetite anymore; instead he had a thirst for some Jack Daniels.
After leaving Renee’s, he’d just driven around for awhile before ending up outside the same shitty bar he had been the other night; just sitting in the parking lot staring into the grimy windows and trying to work himself up to climbing from the car and going into the building. But he hadn’t, and for that, a slight sense of pride had seeped into him. The first time since all this shit had fallen into his lap that he had been able to turn the urge down.
Alex wasn’t sure which reason it was. Fear of the bartender recognizing him and refusing service had been part of it, but Brielle’s words from their disagreement had kept ringing in his ears and he had been more afraid of going home wasted and the blonde finding out. Upsetting her was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. One pregnant woman already hated him; he didn’t want another to as well.
But at that moment, the craving for the strong liquid that always soothed him was so strong he could feel his hands start to shake. Shoving them into his lap and pressing them between his knees, he willed his mind to think about something, anything other than the one thing he most wanted, needed, at that moment.
“Are you alright?”
Bringing his eyes up from the table, he was met with her clear, blue ones. They looked so concerned and empathy spilled from them like water flowing over a dam. Pity was the last thing Alex wanted at the moment. “I’m good.”
She blinked at the slight tone in his voice. “I was just asking. I’m sorry.”
Quickly, he shook his head, guilt flooding into his stomach. He had never been good at controlling his attitude when he was jonesing that strongly for a drink. “No, no, you’re okay. I’m the one who’s sorry. I just…feel on edge at the moment.”
“Oh.” She pursed her lips. “Is this about Renee?”
“Just because I’m on edge, you think it’s about Renee?”
A frown line creased her forehead. “No, I think it’s about Renee because of what I heard you tell your publicist.”
“Heh.” Shit, what was his problem? Rubbing his face with both hands, he tried to take a calming breath. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”
His eyes met hers. “That’s cuz I am.”
She didn’t respond, instead she took up her glass and rose from her spot.
“Where are you going?”
“Somewhere I don’t get snapped at for breathing, or asking simple questions.”
Alex frowned at that and shoved his plate away from him hard, it crashed off the other side of the table sending shards of ceramic and tuna flying in all directions. Brielle jumped and let out a squeak, but he ignored her and rose from his own chair, brushing past her and grabbing up the keys he’d dropped on the counter when he’d entered the kitchen.
“Where are you going?”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” he began, trying to ignore the condescending tone he’d picked up in her voice. Hell, he might as well just come out with it. Fuck what she thought or what anyone else thought. He’d do what he wanted when he wanted and no one was going to tell him he couldn’t. “I’m gonna go drink, maybe even until I pass out and can’t remember this day.”
She hesitated and he wondered if she was trying to decide which direction to take this.
“If your mom asks where you are, I’m going to tell her you said that.”
Fuck! Try as he might, he couldn’t let himself not care about that. That was the one little thing that always held him back. What Alex really wanted to respond with was something like ‘Be my guest, I don’t give a flyin’ fuck.’ But the words seemed caught in his throat. Instead, he did something that surprised even himself.
“Get your shoes.”
Brielle’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I said, get your shoes.”
“Why?”
“Because, you’re coming with me. Now get your damn shoes before I put you into my car without them. I’m not above doing it, so don’t try me.”
Her wide, blue eyes blinked slowly as she processed his words, attitude and the hell bent expression on his face that said he was going to get what he wanted rather she liked it or not. Finally, her shoulders sagged and she set her water glass on the counter. “Okay.” The way he sounded right now, she was not about to argue. Something told her it wouldn’t end well and sometimes it was better to just go with the flow and sort everything out later.
Alex didn’t respond, just waited while she tugged on her tennis shoes and slipped her cross body handbag around her body.
Finally, she moved back over to him.
“Ready?”
Brielle glanced toward the mess of tuna salad and broken dinner plate that still lay on the floor. “What about the mess?”
“It’ll be there when we get back. Let’s go.” Then he took her arm and led her from the room.
