Author's Chapter Notes:
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Brielle didn’t say a word as Alex drove through the streets of the Hollywood Hills and away from his home. His hands gripped the steering wheel tight in hopes of stopping the tremors and the thirst in his mouth had quickly morphed into one that was making his mouth water at just the thought of the longed for alcohol. If he thought reason, he knew he couldn’t take Brielle and go get stone pissed drunk, but he wasn’t thinking reason at the moment. He had his mind set on one thing, and that was Jack Daniels. So the blonde beside him was just going to have to deal with it.
“Where are we going?” She questioned, after he’d pulled out onto the main highway.
“I told you; I’m going to get wasted.”
She gawked at him. “You’re taking me with you while you go get drunk?”
Alex shrugged one shoulder, his eyes never leaving the road ahead of him. “I’d planned to.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Wanna bet?” His eyes cut her way then back to the front windshield. That was one lesson his friends and family had learned a long time ago; never tell him he couldn’t do something. She still had a way to go, but she’d come to understand it eventually.
Brielle sighed and fiddled with her purse. “What about our deal?”
He didn’t want to think about their deal at the moment. “I said try not to drink as much, not that I never would.”
She frowned and slouched in the seat, obviously defeated.
Alex smirked inwardly and turned left at an intersection. He knew he was being an ass, but he didn’t really care. That was something he had learned about himself while in rehab and through AA; when he was drinking, sometimes he was a bastard and did things he would later regret. But at the time, he could care less what the repercussions were. Later, well that was a completely different story.
Brielle bit the inside of her cheek and stared straight ahead out the window. She couldn’t decide if she was angry, disappointed or hurt. Maybe it was mixture of all three. Currently, she wanted to hurl herself across the gearstick and smack him with her handbag until he apologized and turned the vehicle around. At the same time, she wanted to climb from the vehicle and go back to the house, leaving him to his own devices, which told her, would not be a good idea.
The part of her brain that was thinking clearly at the moment, was trying to tell her to talk him down, use her words instead of her handbag and maybe she could make him realize that this was not a good idea. She had a sinking feeling that nothing good would come from this and they’d end up in some serious trouble or he’d be passed out drunk and she’d have to drag his body back to the SUV. There was no way in hell she’d be able to do that.
Watching him from the corner of her eye, she racked her brain for any kind of idea that might at least slow him down. “Are we going to a bar?”
“That’s where you go to get drunk.”
“You know, I don’t really appreciate your tone of voice. I haven’t done anything wrong to deserve your shitty attitude.” She hadn’t meant to say that, but it had slipped out before she could contain herself. But once it was out there, Brielle didn’t want to take it back. Let him know what an asshole he was being.
Instead of snapping back at her like he wanted, Alex gripped the steering wheel tighter and glanced her way. One look at the stony expression on her face that was trying to hide the fear in her eyes and he felt himself crumbling. What the hell had he been thinking? Cursing under his breath, he guided the SUV to the side of the road and put it into park.
Brielle remained silent and he chewed his bottom lip. After a long, drawn out, moment, he shifted in his seat and faced her. “I’m sorry.”
“There we go with the apologies again.”
He frowned. “What do you want me to say? Not apologize?”
“I want to know what’s going on with you. I haven’t done anything and you’re flying off the handle at me.”
Alex sighed and rubbed his jaw. “Look, I know I was out of line, and I’m trying to make amends here.”
Her blue eyes looked so sad. “I think you need to make amends with yourself first.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shrugged. “If you’re getting drunk so you can forget everything that’s going on, then it sounds like you have some issues you need to work through. Drinking doesn’t solve your problems.”
“I never said it did.” He frowned. “It just helps me cope with them better.”
“That’s not a good way to do that.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
Brielle tilted her head. “I don’t know; you could write, or go work out, or play your music loud, yell or hit a pillow. Anything to help get the stress out that doesn’t involve getting yourself drunk.”
Alex sighed and faced forward in his seat again, his head leaning against the headrest. “It’s not the same. The alcohol calms me and I can deal with all the shit again.”
“Well,” she drew up a shoulder, “now that um…you and Renee aren’t together anymore, maybe that will cut down on your stress.”
“Heh, yeah right. She is gonna hold this baby over my head until the day I die. And it’s only going to get worse, because we’ll be in court fighting tooth and nail for a custody agreement.” He winced as he thought over all the ammunition Renee had she could use against him. Luckily, she wouldn’t be the only one holding a trump card.
“I’m sorry, Alex.” Brielle reached over and took his hand, giving it a warm squeeze. “But you know alcohol isn’t going to make any of that better.”
“It makes me feel better.”
She didn’t have a response for that. Turning her attention to the window, she watched a bug that flittered around the glass.
Alex sighed and rubbed his neck. “I just want a drink.”
“Sounds more like you need a drink.”
He frowned. “I don’t need to drink; I choose to drink.”
Then choose not to, because from the way it sounds and the way you’re acting, I’d say you need to drink more than you want to.”
“Are you trying to be my therapist?”
Brielle blinked at that then a scowl quickly graced her face. “Don’t you dare get an attitude with me. You’re the one that’s got the stick up their ass and I’m beginning to realize just how stubborn you are. If you want to go drink yourself into an early grave then be my guest, but I am not going with you. And I will tell your mother if she asks, because I’m not going to lie like you do.”
His eyes flashed at her. Never before had a woman stood up to him like this; not even his own girlfriends would behave this way. If Alex wanted to go drink, he’d go drink. And if he wanted them to mislead his mother, they’d mislead his mother. But here, this young female that’d come into his life just a couple weeks earlier was putting her foot down and telling him how it was going to be.
It infuriated him, yet there was a small sliver inside that found him liking it. No one but his mother or the guys talked to him that way, when they had to, and while he may bitch and moan about it, it showed they cared and deep down, he found comfort in it.
“Alright,” he finally relented. “You win, I won’t go get smashed.”
“You mean that?”
“Yes, yes, I mean that. Lord knows I want to, but I won’t.”
She smiled and his heart melted. “Thank you. We can do something else if you’d like; something that might help keep your mind off all the drama.”
Alex wasn’t sure what else would take away the craving that was making him feel on edge, but he’d give anything a shot at that moment. “Do you have something in mind?”
Brielle tilted her head a moment. “I have an idea.” She smiled. “And I think you’re going to like it.”
~*~*~*~*~
“I can’t remember the last time I did this.”
“Me either, but I used to love it.”
Alex chuckled. “I don’t know how good I’ll be.”
“Oh, that’s alright, you’ll catch on soon enough.”
“I don’t even know if I’ll be able to keep it up.”
Brielle laughed at that. “Aww, do you want some help?”
“No, no, I think I can do this. You might need to grab it and hold it for me for a minute.”
“I can do that. You just have to remember not to stop; once you get going, you gotta keep going.”
“And going and going.” He smirked and wiggled his brows at her. “You know, this conversation sounds very dirty.”
The blonde blinked, thought back over on the exchange between them and blushed slightly. “Hush, it’s not.”
He chuckled. “Ooh, you’re blushing.”
“Hush.” She nudged him with her arm. “Anyway, you got it okay?”
Alex nodded. “I believe so.”
“Good.” Brielle took a step back from him. “Let’s see what you got.”
“I don’t know if you could handle what I got.”
The way he sounded and the look in his eyes made her blush again. “Shh, are you gonna do this or not?”
“Alright, I’m doing this.” He chuckled then rolled his shoulders and grew serious again. It’d been a long, long time since he’d flown a kite, but it was simple enough. Children did it all the time. The only thing he found himself worried about was letting it go and watching as it floated off down the beach. Then they’d be out their deposit and have to pay for the runaway kite.
After their conversation in the SUV, Brielle had instructed the tattooed man to find them a kite rental shop and a quiet place that wouldn’t be too crowded so they could have room and not worry about trampling over anyone. So they’d ended up at the boardwalk where they had rented two kites then strolled down the beach until the crowd thinned.
Brielle’s kite was the rectangular shape with a long yellow tail and black with yellow splashes on it and his own was deep red with a black dragon and a black tail that split into two. It hadn’t cost much to rent them, but there had been a security deposit in case the kites were lost or someone decided they wanted it for their own.
“Okay, ready?” He looked over to the blonde to see her watching him, the breeze blowing a few strands of hair in her face, but she didn’t bother to brush it away. Her kite was clutched in one hand, the handle with the long string wrapped tightly around it in her other. She looked peaceful and content and he smiled at that.
This had been a good idea; he had to hand it to her on that one. He was already starting to feel himself relaxing some; though he wasn’t sure if it was due to the beach and the kite flying or just being around Brielle. She always seemed to have that effect on him. Things had been a little heated earlier, but that edge was starting to fall away and he knew he was going to have to apologize to her, yet again, for his behavior. He only hoped she accepted and didn’t feel like it was ‘another apology’.
“You gonna fly that thing, or what?”
He chuckled and tried to clear his mind. “I’m getting there, hold your horses.” Then slowly, he began to unravel the string from the reel until he had enough between him and the kite. “You ready to see how it’s done?”
“Oh, please, what was it you were saying earlier? You don’t know how good you’ll be or if you can keep it in the air?”
He smirked. “Watch and be amazed.” Then he took hold of the string with one hand and started a run down the beach, the kite trailing and bouncing along in the sand.
Brielle watched him go and laughed with delight. “Go, Alex! You can do it!”
He knew he could. Glancing back to the kite, he gave it a tug, jogging along and lifting his arms some so it would lift up and catch some wind. It didn’t take long for the kite to sail up into the air, but it was only for a mere second and it was back on the sand. “Damn.”
“Ooh, that sucks.” The blonde started his way. “You almost had it. But I have yet to be amazed.”
“You just wait.” He straightened it back out then took off again, letting more string unravel and suddenly it was off and up into the air, the wind guiding it up with force. “Whoa!” He caught the string and hooked the bar over so it wouldn’t continue to come loose. “There, ha! Are you amazed now?”
“Very amazed.” She smiled and reached his side. “That looks pretty good.”
“Not so bad, if I do say so myself.”
Brielle squeezed his bicep. “Not at all. Okay, my turn.” She began to let out some of the string. “Let’s make sure we keep ‘em apart so they don’t crash or get tangled.”
“You better move away some. I’m pretty wild and there’s no telling where mine might end up.”
“Oh yeah? If your kite flying is anything like you’re driving then I know we’re in trouble.”
Alex chuckled then blinked. “Heeey.”
She smirked and held the kite up above her head, giving a slow jog down the sand some to help with the lift. It didn’t take long before hers was up as high as Alex’s and she carefully maneuvered herself back toward him. “How’s that?”
“Looks good.”
Brielle smiled. “Kite flying is relaxing in a way.”
“You think so?” He glanced her way. “I don’t know if I’d say relaxing; you gotta make sure you can control it, that it doesn’t dip down or fall …hit someone in the head; that’d be horrible, or rip from your hands and fly away.”
“Do you always think about the negative?”
He shrugged. “I’m just being realistic.”
She nodded some and they fell silent, both lost in their own thoughts and working on maintaining the distance up the kites had climbed.
After a moment, Brielle glanced his way. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a pretty good job.”
“Hm?” He looked to her, reeling the kite in a little bit as the wind picked up.
She shrugged a shoulder. “Handling Renee and all her drama …and me and all mine. The drinking isn’t a good idea, but you have a lot going on and it’s understandable.”
Alex didn’t respond right away. If she only knew the truth he had a feeling she wouldn’t find it understandable whatsoever. “Well, thank you,” he finally forced out around the lump in his throat.
She brushed some hair from her face with the back of her hand. “You’re welcome.”
“It’s hard, you know.”
“I imagine so.”
He nodded some and kept his eyes trained on the kite. “Sometimes I don’t really know how to handle it.”
“Which is why you drink.”
“I guess you could say that.” He sighed and reeled the kite in a bit more to keep it stable. “I like to forget all the shit sometimes.”
“There isn’t anything else you could do that would help?”
“Other than getting wasted, high or laid, not really.”
Brielle blinked and chuckled low. “Those are your vices, huh?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t need to be telling you all this.”
“No, it’s okay. I like that you feel you can talk to me.”
He looked her way. “Thank you for talking me out of my craving.”
Their eyes met and she felt a twinge in her tummy. “I’m just glad you listened to me.”
“I think you’re one of the few that I do listen to; and I don’t know why. You’re just so easy to be around and talk to. And I really like that.”
“Well, I’m glad I could help.”
Alex smiled and turned his attention back to his task at hand. They were quiet for another moment and he enjoyed the sounds of the waves washing ashore and the seagulls crying overhead.
“What do you think I should do about my parents?”
He looked her way at that. “Well, have you figured out what it is they want?”
“I have no clue. I haven’t talked to them since the other day, but I know they’re still around. And I don’t think they plan on leaving until they get what they want.” She let out a little more string and the wind rose her kite high, billowing the tail about.
“You think it has to do with the baby?”
She shrugged. “I think it has more to do with you having money, but I can’t be sure. They should be smart enough to think that there’s no way they could get any kind of anything out of you. So then I think, well what is it that they want? They can’t want me back into their lives.”
“Why not?”
“Because they can’t. They didn’t care three years ago when I walked out of their lives, why the sudden change of mind?”
“I wish I knew the answer to that, babe. But I’m in the same boat as you.”
She turned her worrisome blue eyes his way again. “You are?”
“Yeah.” He nodded some and gently tugged his dragon kite away from Brielle’s. It had gotten dangerously close and he didn’t want the strings to cross. “My dad walked out on me when I was four. I didn’t see him again until I was 18 and it was only because he wanted a piece of my fame and money.”
Brielle just stared at him. “Seriously?”
“As a heart attack.”
“Wow,” her eyes darted to her kite then back to him, “what did you do?”
He shrugged. “Walked out of his life. It was awhile before he tried contacting me again; and it was for money. He has never once tried to come into my life with good intentions. And now,” he sighed softly, “he doesn’t even bother to try.”
“I’m so sorry, Alex.” She wanted to reach over and hug him, but didn’t have the extra hands to do so. “I had no idea. Who…were you talking to your mom about? You were saying dad.”
“Oh, that’s Tony; he’s my mom’s husband and I refer to him as my dad. I wish he was. He’s more of a dad to me than my real father.” A frown line creased his forehead. “Sometimes I wish I could change my last name from McLean to Solis.”
“You hate your real father that much?”
He sighed. “No, I don’t hate him; I just don’t understand why he wants nothing to do with me. He wants everything to do with my money and fame, but it’s like he hates me.” His cloudy eyes met hers and she hated the pain in them. “How do you hate your own child? I wasn’t some once night stand or a mistake; my parents were married and wanted a family.”
“I don’t know,” she responded with. “I’ve never understood that.”
“Me either.” He cleared his throat and focused on the kite again. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted you out here so badly; I don’t want to be like my father.”
“I don’t know your father, but I doubt you’re anything like him.”
That made him smile. “Thank you.”
She watched her kite as it flittered in the wind, the tail waving wildly about. “Would you make amends with your dad if he came to you and truly wanted to be in your life again?”
Alex blew a puff of air out his lips at that question. “It would take me a long time to really believe he wasn’t after something else. But,” and he couldn’t believe he was going to say this, “if he proved himself, I would. I don’t know about trusting him, but I’d try to make amends.”
“Should I make amends with my parents?”
“You’re in a whole different situation, babe. Your parents were there for you all throughout your childhood and teenage years.”
“And yet, they so easily kicked me to the curb and wanted nothing to do with me again.” Her shoulders drooped and her chin quivered. “They suddenly want back in my life and expect me to just…forgive and forget. It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know it doesn’t, baby.” He looped the string around the bar again then crouched and stuck the handle into the sand, using a rock nearby to help hold it in place. Knowing his luck, it’d probably get yanked out and they’d have to chase it down the beach, but at the moment, he didn’t care.
Once he was sure it wasn’t going anywhere, he stood again then moved to the blonde and wrapped her in his arms. She turned into his chest and allowed herself to be held close, the handle of the kite trapped between their bodies as it continued to flutter about in the sky. “I know it’s tough, sweetheart,” he soothed, smoothing a hand over her back.
She mumbled something against his chest and her blonde head nodded.
“You don’t have to forgive and forget. You don’t have to have anything to do with them. And you shouldn’t let yourself feel guilty about that. They’re your parents, but what they did was wrong and an apology does not make it better.”
“It really doesn’t.” She lifted her head and her teary eyes met his expressive ones. “I just don’t think I can handle them being here and wanting to be involved, right now.”
He brushed some hair from her cheek. “Then we’ll tell them to leave. And if you want to see them, we’ll tell ‘em that you’ll call and let them know.”
“That sounds good.” Her eyes studied his expression. “Will you tell them that?”
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Anything for you.”
Brielle grinned and rested her head against his chest again. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and hugged her for another moment, before slowly pulling back. “As much as I would love to stand here and just hug you, I don’t know how secure my kite is and I’d hate to have to chase it down the beach.”
The blonde chuckled. “I almost want to see that. It’d be like something out of a movie, I think.”
He laughed and quickly gathered up the kite spool. “You say that now, but you need to remember, I’m your ride home.”
“Ooh, I’m so scared.” She smirked at him then waited until he had control of the kite again. “Now, let’s see who can get these puppies higher.”
~*~*~*~*~
“I had fun today,” Brielle remarked a few hours later. They were back in Alex’s vehicle heading for his home. The two had spent another hour, or so, on the beach with the kites before finally turning them back in and heading for a cozy, seaside restaurant for some dinner.
It had been a nice afternoon for Alex as well. It sure beat wasting the day drinking. And he did indeed feel better about his situation. He just couldn’t let himself think about Renee and all her shit. So he tried not to, and had found himself enjoying his time with the blonde.
“I did too,” he relented as he turned onto his road and slowed some when he spotted some children playing on the sidewalk.
She smiled. “We’ll have to do it again soon.”
“Next time I crave a drink.”
Brielle wet her bottom lip. “Have you…ever considered talking to someone?”
Alex’s eyes darted her way. “About my drinking?” When she nodded, he sighed and flexed his hands on the steering wheel. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he wasn’t ready for her to know the truth. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask.” The grin on her face showed that she was content with the reply.
He reached and squeezed her hand. “Your parents left a number for you to contact them with, right?”
“They did.”
“Okay, then I’ll call them tonight and ask them to go back to Virginia. When you’re ready to talk, you’ll call.”
Both her hands grasped his. “Thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome.” He smiled at her and slowed to turn into his drive. Taking back his hand, he reached for the remote that would open the gates, when something from the corner of his eye caught his attention.
Slowing a bit more, he noticed the dark colored sedan that was parked against the curb right in front of his house. And as the SUV made the turn into the driveway, just before the large, wrought iron gates, the door of the sedan opened and a figure stepped out.
He frowned at not recognizing the tall, sandy-blond haired man, but his passenger gasped and he looked to her. “You know him?”
Her face had paled considerably and her eyes were wide with shock and surprise. Wordlessly, she nodded her head then slid down in the seat.
Alex watched as he shut the sedan door and looked toward the SUV. “Who is that?”
But Brielle didn’t answer him. Instead, she hit at his arm and motioned toward the street. “Drive!”
He blinked. “What? Who is that guy?”
“Just drive, please,” she pleaded, trying to keep herself low and out of view.
The tone of her voice and the look in her eyes told him he needed to listen to her. “Alright.” He shifted the vehicle into reverse then backed out of the drive and into the road. Shifting gears once more, he glanced into the rearview mirror to see the visitor frowning and motioning to them. “He seems to want our attention.”
Brielle slouched lower in her seat. “I don’t care, just go.”
“Alright, I’m going.” He glanced into the rearview once more then pressed down on the accelerator and the SUV sped back down the road.
Chapter End Notes:
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