- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay, work is really taking a toll on me. But I was off today and able to get a chp done. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks and enjoy! :)
The Crowne Plaza hotel at Times Square was normally just a ten minute walk from Lily’s apartment building. With the massive crowd and partying that was going on, it took Alex and Brielle nearly half an hour to make it to the hotel. Once inside his warm and toasty room, she discarded her thick pea coat and draped it over the back of a chair.

Alex had been able to acquire a one bedroom suite with full amenities and a television larger than any she’d ever seen in a hotel before. The balcony overlooked the city and all that could be seen for miles was confetti being whipped around in the chilly air and a sea of people.

“It’s amazing, huh?” Alex moved up behind her and smoothed his hands over her shoulders.

“It’s wild,” she responded with, staring out at it for a moment before snapping from her thoughts and pulling away from him. “I should be in bed; it’s past my bedtime.”

“Oh, well, there’s a bed in the bedroom.” He nodded toward the room just behind the blonde.

She eyed him with her piercing blue eyes. “I don’t think us sleeping in the same bed together is a very good idea.”

Alex shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders hunched forward in a demure manner. “I can take the couch.”

She tilted her head as if she were debating the issue then sucked air through her teeth and shook her head. “No, I’ll go back to Lily’s; just let the crowd clear out. I just figured we could come back here and have some privacy and talk some more.”

“You didn’t like the elevator, huh?”

“Yeah, not exactly my idea of private or comfortable.”

Alex chuckled some. “So um, do you want something to drink? There’s a mini bar.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if it was stocked with liquor, but she held it back. “No, I’m okay.”

But it was like he could read her mind. “I had ‘em take out the alcohol before I signed in.” He moved to the small fridge and pulled out a bottled water. “Though they refilled it with Red Bull; which honestly, probably isn’t much better.”

“Yeah, that stuff is gross.” She made a little face then sank down onto the plush couch, feeling like it was enveloping her in the soft fabric and she was sinking into a cloud.

Alex joined her, but chose the chair across from her. He opened his water and fiddled with the cap though he didn’t take a drink. His leg was bouncing in a quick manner and she would have reached over and held it still if she could have reached him. But the couch was too comfortable and she didn’t have the energy to move.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” He finally questioned after the silence drifted over them both and made the pulse in his neck throb harder than it already was. He had thought things had gone well in the elevator; at least they’d ended well. But she was pregnant and hormonal and a woman at that, who knows what they were thinking most the time.

Brielle sighed and studied his face for a moment before speaking, “I’m glad you’re here; despite being angry and upset with you, I really did miss you.”

He had to smile at that. “I’m glad I’m here too. I wanted you to be my midnight, New Year’s kiss.”

“So that’s the reason you came.”

He opened his mouth to snap back a response but then quickly closed it when he realized she wasn’t serious. Chuckling, he finally took a sip of his water then lowered the bottle. “You got me.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I know your number.”

He sent her a charming grin then sighed and set the water bottle on a table to the side. “So, what are you thinking?”

Brielle sighed and wiggled some on the couch to get even more comfy, if that was possible. “Honestly, I’m a little confused and very caught off guard.”

“What are you confused about?”

She watched him, her eyes studying his face and he shrunk into the chair, feeling small under her scrutiny. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Change of heart?”

“Three days ago you didn’t seem too interested in giving up your drinking. What suddenly changed your mind?”

Alex sighed and leaned forward in the chair. “I do want to give up drinking; but sometimes there are things going on that make it really hard. Like this whole thing with Renee. Brie, you have to understand that for someone like me, giving up alcohol is not a simple ‘okay, I’m not going to pick up another drink’. It’s a long, hard and always ongoing process I have to work through and deal with.”

“That’s why you need all the help you can get.” She slipped her shoes off her feet and pulled her legs up onto the couch with her. “Your friends, family, sponsor…AA meetings. You need to reach out to every mean possible.”

“I know.” He nodded then hung his head in defeat.

Brielle drew her bottom lip into her mouth and held it between her teeth. It was taking all her willpower not to slip from the sofa and cradle him in her arms. The expression on his face was so sad and his body language, despondent. But she stayed put, knowing right now they needed to talk and get answers, not cuddle and say everything was going to be okay. “Does this mean you’re going to get help?” She finally questioned.

He brought his eyes to hers and she saw the fear and disappointment he had in himself in them. “For you, I will.”

“No, Alex,” she gave a frustrated sigh and lowered her feet back to the floor, rising from the sofa and smoothing her dress over her midriff, “you’re supposed to want to do it for yourself, not for me. Don’t you get that? You should want to get better, you should want to overcome this disease.”

“I do want it for myself.” He frowned some. “But I want it for you too, and our baby. I don’t live my life for just myself anymore, Brie.” He too rose to his feet. “I live for you and our child and you can’t tell me I should only want to get better for myself. I want to get better for you and the baby, too. What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t? Do you think I want to cause you this stress? Do you think I want our child to see me like this? So yes, yes, I’m doing it for me, but I’m also doing it for the both of you. And you can’t tell me not to.”

Tears shone in her eyes. “You’re right,” she finally relented. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t matter your exact reasons as long as you want to get better.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, sweetheart.” He offered up a half smile then held his arms toward her. “Now, c’mere.”

Brielle crossed the room and melted into his embrace, her own arms winding around his firm body and holding him close. She closed her eyes and pressed her face into his chest and savored his familiar scent, relishing in his warmth and the way his arms felt wrapped tightly around her.

The two didn’t speak as they clung to each other and neither knew how long they stood there locked in the embrace. It could have been ten minutes, it could have been an hour; time didn’t seem important. All that mattered was this moment as if the rest of the world had faded away, leaving only Alex and Brielle and the emotions they were feeling.

It wasn’t until the two had finally separated and Brielle had gone off to use the bathroom that Alex realized just how late it was. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sent a quick text to Lily telling her not to worry about Brielle and he’d have her back before lunch. Then he’d taken an extra pillow and a couple blankets and made up a temporary bed on the couch for himself.

Truth be told, he wanted to join her in the bedroom and hold her the whole night through, but somehow he didn’t see her going for that. And he really didn’t want to mess anything else up for them. In the past, Alex had never put too much thought into how he went about a relationship. He was a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ kind of guy and whatever emotion he was feeling at the moment, he went with. But this girl was way different than his past ones and none of those relationships had ever worked out well for him, so he knew he needed to try a different approach. He had too much to lose if he fucked up and he wasn’t willing to take the gamble.

So he would take the couch and she would sleep in the bed and he’d be happy enough to just dream of her. Until he got himself back on the right track and then…well she better watch out, because he’d be damned if he let her slip through his fingers.

~*~*~*~*~

“So let me get this straight; he took you back to his hotel room and you two didn’t have sex?”

Brielle frowned over at her friend. “That wasn’t the reason we went back there, Lily.”

“Well, yeah, I know, but c’mon, Brie, the opportunity was right there. Why didn’t you take it?”

“Um, because unlike some people I know, we aren’t going to just jump in bed together.”

Lily arched a brow and her eyes drifted down to the small bump of her friend’s stomach. “What’s that? Come again?”

Brielle gently shoved the brunette. “He has issues he needs to work through and I don’t want to rush anything.”

“Rush anything?” Lily sat back straight again. “He told you he loved you and he wants to be with you? He’s obviously ready, so how is that rushing anything?”

“He has issues, Lily,” Brielle spoke it with a ‘duh’ tone. “He’s not going anywhere and neither am I, so once things settle down and he’s able to work past this, then we’ll see where that leaves us.”

Lily shook her head some. “I think you’re being a fool, Brie. I understand wanting to take things slow and I can understand being slightly cautious as he deals with this alcoholism thing, but he is the best thing that has ever happened to you and he’s in love with you and he wants to be with you and you could at least throw the poor guy a bone.”

Brielle’s brows rose. “By having sex with him?”

“No, but you could tell him how you feel. He was honest with you; maybe it’s time to be honest with him and yourself. Maybe if he knows how you feel then it’ll help him get better faster, cuz he’ll have something to work toward.”

The blonde sighed. “I don’t want him to think I’m accepting or okay with what he’s been doing, because I’m so not.”

“I think he’s well aware of your position on things.”

She shifted her eyes toward her friend. “What am I supposed to say to him?”

“That you love him and that you know he can get through this and that you’re going to be there every step of the way with your love and support.”

“You really think it’ll help?”

Lily gave a slight shrug. “I think it’s worth a shot. I would think you’d be willing to try anything right now to help him.”

“I wouldn’t be saying it just to help him.” She frowned some. “I’d tell him because I want him to know how I feel.”

“And do you?”

Brielle chewed the corner of her lip. “I don’t want to mess anything up, Lil. That’s what I’m really worried about. I don’t want us to discover that we aren’t a good couple together and ruin it for our baby. And I don’t want to get my hopes up about something only to have them smashed to bits. Besides, he’s dealing with so much on top of his drinking and I don’t want to add to the stress.”

“And if you let it pass you by then it’ll be too late and someone else will be standing in your shoes and you’ll hate it, but only have yourself to blame.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

Lily shrugged. “You never know. If you don’t at least meet him halfway then eventually he’s going to move on or meet someone else. Or think he’s not good enough and go back to Renee,” she added as an afterthought.

That made the blonde shudder. “What should I say?”

“Speak from the heart. Tell him what you feel and tell him what you’re afraid of. He can’t help you if you don’t let him.”

“Him help me; he’s the one that needs the help.”

“I don’t mean that kind of help. But if you tell him what you’re afraid of he will be able to help you there.”

Brielle sighed. “Maybe.”

Lily pursed her lips and it looked like she wanted to say something more, but that was the moment her fiancé and Alex waltzed back into the apartment. They had been out procuring snacks and goodies for the football games they were intent on watching that afternoon.

“Hey, hey, we have returned,” Jordan announced as he dropped the brown paper sack onto the counter and shrugged out of his wool coat.

“Hope you kept the home fires burning,” Alex chimed in as he too removed his winter wear. He then slipped up behind Brielle and stuck his chilly hands on the sides of her neck.

Brielle jerked and pulled away with a squeal. “You’re freezing!”

“And you’re nice and warm.” He laughed and slipped onto the sofa, reaching and pulling her back into his arms. “You can help warm me up.”

Lily chuckled then rose from her spot and excused herself to join her fiancé.

Alex chuckled and wrapped his arms tighter around the blonde. “I didn’t mean to run her off.”

“I don’t think you did. Lily doesn’t ever get ‘run off’.”

“Good.” He peeked to her face. “Were you two having some girl talk?”

“We were.” She allowed herself to rest back against his chest. “I was telling her about your charade with the elevator from last night.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded, “Lily and I tell each other everything.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard women do that kind of thing.”

“We do.” She smoothed her fingers along the sleeve of his shirt. “She thinks we’re good for each other.”

Alex stilled at those words and felt his heart skip a beat. “What…um, what do you think?” He tilted his head to see her face better, feeling himself teetering on the edge of what her next words might be.

“Um…well…” Brielle shifted just slightly in his arms to face him more. Her own heart was beating faster against her ribcage and she couldn’t believe they were going to be having this conversation with Lily and Jordan just feet away, but it had presented itself and she’d taken it.

“Yeah?” He wet his bottom lip ever so slightly and watched her with those brown eyes of his that always seemed to give away what he was feeling.

“Well, I think that-” but she was interrupted when the sound of his cellphone came from his pocket.

Damnit! He wanted to ignore it, or snatch it from his jeans and hurl it across the room, but he didn’t. Brielle was already pulling away from him and so he withdrew it and winced at the name on the screen. Renee. Figures. Fucken figures.

“Are you gonna answer that?”

Alex glanced over to the blonde and gave a sigh. “It’s Renee.”

She wrinkled her nose then blinked at that action and motioned to the phone. “Well, answer it. It might be important.”

Nothing as important as the conversation they had been interrupted with. But despite that thought, he took the call and lifted the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Alex, where are you? I’m standing outside your house right now.”

What the hell was she doing at his house? He shifted his eyes toward the phone. “Um, I’m not at home.”

“Well, duh, I’ve gathered that much. I’ve been knocking for ten minutes and I know you wouldn’t just ignore me. Where’s your spare key? It’s not under the flower pot anymore.”

Suddenly he was very grateful he’d decided to change the location of the key after their break up. “I moved it. What are you doing at my house?”

“Waiting for you, you doofus. When are you coming home?”

Alex cut his eyes over to Brielle, who was watching him with slight curiosity. “I won’t be home until Sunday night.” He had already planned to fly back with Brielle and even booked them two first class seats together, upgrading her coach one his mom had gotten her.

“Sunday night?! Where are you? How could you take off without telling me? I need you, Alex!”

Her shrill words hurt his ear and he had to pull the phone away from it some so as not to go deaf. “Renee-”

At the mention of her name, a shadow passed over the blonde’s face and she rose from the couch and joined Lily and Jordan in the kitchen. Alex gave a groan and didn’t even seem to hear his ex fiancée’s high-pitched words as she ranted at him for leaving her in LA while he went off to do God knows what at God knows where.

This is why he had been drinking so much; because she was a damn nuisance and he couldn’t take it anymore. It was either pick up a bottle and drink or pick up a bottle and smash it over her head and he knew he couldn’t do that. Violence against women was something he frowned on, even if she was the woman. And the more she yelled and lectured him the stronger the urge to have some Jack Daniels became. Soon his mouth was dry for the potent liquor and his hands were trembling.

Not having a real chance to interject into the one-sided conversation Renee was having, he rose from the couch and made his way into the kitchen. Jordan was working on getting a chip platter set up with some dip and Lily and Brielle were talking in hushed whispers in the corner.

They both looked over as he came in and one look at his face and Brielle’s annoyed expression turned into one of deep concern. She pulled away from Lily and moved to his side, taking his arm. “What’s wrong?”

Without saying a word, Alex handed over his phone then turned and strode back into the living room.

Brielle blinked some, caught off guard by that action then turned her eyes to the phone. She could hear Renee ranting and it made her heart hurt at the pain she was putting Alex through. If she weren’t pregnant she’d like to show Renee a thing or two about hurting someone. But she couldn’t and she wouldn’t. But she could do this. And with that, she pushed the off button and severed the call. Then she turned the phone off, set it on the counter and followed the same path Alex had taken.

She found him out on the balcony overlooking the busy street below. He was leaning against the railing with a cigarette in one hand and his lighter in the other. He didn’t hear her come out or even realize she was standing there until she was next to him. Then he jerked in surprise and quickly snuffed the cigarette out, despite the desperate need to have it and three, four, five or six more.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she spoke softly, reaching a hand out and smoothing it over his back. It was chilly outside and her breath was coming out in visible puffs.

“I can’t take this anymore, Brie, I really can’t.”

“You need to just cut her out of your life, as horrible as that sounds, for your sanity and health.”

He blew a puff of air from his mouth and shook his head. “If I don’t do that I’ll do something I regret. But I don’t know if I can; she lost the baby and the guilt of it being my fault is eating me up inside. I can’t just…sever all ties with her.”

“Then it’s time you put your foot down and told her how it’s going to be. No more letting her walk over you or control you or make you feel bad about things you can’t control.” Her hand continued to massage his back lightly. “She needs to know she has no power over you and you need to make her see that.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Would you like me to do it?” She tilted her head some and from the look on her face he knew she was serious. “I’ll tell her how it’s gonna be.”

“Yeah right, you two would attack each other if I let you in the same room together. No,” he turned and brushed his finger at the tip of her nose, “you and Renee are staying very far away from each other.”

Brielle wasn’t swayed in his attempt at lightening the situation. “Then you need to talk to her. And don’t tell me you can’t because I know you can. I know you can put your foot down when you need to, I’ve seen it.”

He sighed and looked off for a moment then finally returned his eyes on hers. “I don’t have my kite.”

“Did you bring your journal?”

Alex nodded.

“Then go write in that, see if it helps you sort your thoughts and feelings out.”

“Okay.” But he didn’t move.

Brielle watched him. Was he waiting for her to do something? “What?”

Alex shook his head then reached and pulled her to his side, his arm going around her shoulders. “Thank you.”

She smiled then steered them both toward the door back into the apartment. “You’re welcome. I also shut your phone off so she can’t bother you anymore.”

He nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before lifting his own and frowning. “Gosh, it’s freezing out here and you’re outside with no jacket on.” Quickly he ushered them inside then rubbed both her arms. “Sit and we’ll wrap you in a blanket. I’m sorry; I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to realize that earlier.”

“Alex, I’m okay,” she chuckled low and allowed him to guide her to the couch and down onto it, “it was just for like two minutes.”

“Two minutes too long.” He pulled a blanket from the back of a chair then wrapped it around her and tucked it around her legs. “How’s that?”

“Better.” She smiled and would have touched his cheek had her hands been free. “But don’t worry about me, go write in your journal.”

“It’s at the hotel. I don’t want to leave you.” Concern was etched on his face.

She didn’t want him to either, but she knew he needed to do this. Get it out now or suffer the consequences and those with Alex were very, very bad. “I’ll be okay. I’m good with Lily and we’ll watch the football game. You won’t be gone for too long anyway. Right?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.”

“Then go.” Her hand slipped from beneath the blanket and squeezed his arm.

Alex studied her a moment then finally sighed and nodded. “Okay,” he relented then took hold of her face with both his hands and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here.” This time she did touch his cheek then watched as he finally stood and moved off to the kitchen to gather his belongings and tell their hosts his plans.

A few minutes later, Lily returned to the room with a steaming mug of hot cocoa. She tucked it into her friend’s hands then sank down next to her on the couch. “So, did you tell him?”

“Not yet.”

“When?”

Brielle peered into the mug then blew gently to cool the liquid some. “Soon. When he’s not having a meltdown from Renee or jonesing for a drink.”

“Might help him, you know.”

The blonde turned to her friend. “How is that going to help him? It’s only going to add more stress. He’ll be worried about what I’m thinking if she comes around or how it’s going to affect me if she guilts him into spending time with her. I don’t want to do that to him.”

“Or it might give him the strength and courage he needs to really end things with her.” Lily arched a brow. “You never know.”

No, she didn’t know. She didn’t know if it’d be more bad than good either. But she had already resigned herself to tell him and she would. Soon. When the right moment came. If Renee didn’t keep messing things up for them. She would tell him. Maybe once they got back to California. Maybe. Soon. One day.
Chapter End Notes:
Please continue to leave your thoughts. I really need the motivation with all that's going on in my life at the moment.

And I'm starting to make a list of names for the baby. Boy/Girl I'd love to hear some suggestions so let me know! Thanks! :)