Alex did indeed return to Lily and Jordan’s apartment within a couple hours and Brielle could tell from just one look at him that he was feeling better. She’d been snuggled on the couch under a blanket watching the ball game when he’d joined them then slipped onto the couch next to her and slipped beneath the blanket with her. Immediately, her heart settled as she peeked to his face and saw the relaxed look in his eyes. He’d met her gaze and offered a smile then brushed his lips over her forehead.
It was a small act, but it told Brielle everything she needed to know. He’d gone back to the hotel room and written in his journal then come back and joined them. He hadn’t made any side trips to bars or liquor stores and he wasn’t drunk. That had filled her with a warmth she couldn’t explain and she’d snuggled closer to him, their legs intertwining together and their bodies close and cuddled. And that’s the way they had stayed for the rest of the day.
And now it was Monday morning and Alex was dropping Brielle off at her first day of work. Upon their arrival back to his place on Sunday, Renee had been nowhere in sight. The blonde was so relieved because she didn’t have the patience to put up with the horrible woman. She’d be liable to say something she couldn’t take back and make the situation even worse than it already was and no one needed that happening.
Alex told her over breakfast that morning that he was going to stop by Renee’s and have a very serious conversation. He knew it was time to sever things once and for all and he wasn’t going to let his ex guilt him into anything. The miscarriage had been horrible and he did feel at fault, but he couldn’t let Renee treat him the way she was and he couldn’t let her hold it over his head. If she was angry at him, so bet it, but they both needed to move past the situation and look ahead, not back.
Brielle, of course, loved the idea and suggested the two go out to dinner after he picked her up. They could celebrate her first day at work and his first day of true freedom. He liked that idea and agreed to make reservations somewhere nice. And somewhere nice indeed. Somewhere he could sweep her off her feet the way he wanted. Maybe tonight would be a pivotal moment in their relationship. Alex knew she had her reservations, but there was no denying the look in her eyes or the smile that lit her face when the two were together. She loved him; he was damn sure. And maybe once Renee was out of the picture completely, they would finally be free to explore what was going on between them. At least he hoped so.
So after dropping her off at the studio, wishing her luck on her first day and promising not to be late to pick her up, he started across town to Renee’s house. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach had been there since he’d woken and told himself today would be the day. But now as he drew closer and closer to her residence, the feeling grew worse and soon was taking over his entire body. Could he really do this? Was he strong enough? Whenever Brielle was around, he certainly felt that way, but on his own he felt weak and insecure and afraid. And when he felt that way, he would begin to second guess himself.
Maybe this was a bad idea. She was going to have a fit and who knows the kind of guilt trip she’d lay into him with. Maybe the best thing was just to go home and avoid her phone calls. But Brielle’s face flashed through his mind as he pulled into Renee’s drive and cut the engine. She’d be so disappointed if he backed out of this. Sure, she might not voice it, but she would be. And he didn’t want her to feel disappointed when it came to him. Alex wanted to be everything and more for her. He wanted to carry the world on his shoulders with no problems if that’s what the sweet blonde wanted. So he could do this.
But as her face faded from his mind, that doubt began to creep back up and the sick feeling in his stomach gripped his entire body. Maybe he really didn’t have the strength. What was he doing? Renee was only going to laugh at him and make him feel like the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. He couldn’t do that to himself.
Alex was just reaching for the key in the ignition to start the SUV back up when his cell sounded from the passenger seat next to him. Reaching and scooping it up, he checked the ID but didn’t recognize the number. Frowning a bit, he pressed the button and held it to his ear.
“Hello?”
“Alex, it’s me,” Brielle’s voice came over the line and a warmness seeped into his chest.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s great,” he could hear the grin in her voice. “I was just calling because I thought you might need a little encouragement before your talk with Renee.”
That made his heart skip a beat. “How did you know?”
He imagined the tiny grin on her lips and wanted nothing more than to take her far, far away from all this drama with Renee. “Just a feeling. I know we talked a little bit ago, but I wanted to call and tell you that I know you can do this, I believe in you,” her voice pulled him from those images.
“Well, I’m really glad you called. I was about to chicken out and go back home.”
“Oh gosh, please don’t do that. You can do this, Alex. Just take all those feelings you have inside; all the hurt and anger that you’ve been trying to push aside and draw on that when you feel like you want to tuck your tail between your legs and run away. Don’t let her knock you down; you’re so much better than she is.”
He couldn’t stop his smile. “You’re an amazing woman.”
“I just want you to be okay. I hate how she makes you feel so insignificant and at fault for everything. Her losing the baby wasn’t your fault. No matter how upset you made her. It’s just the way life goes sometimes. There’ll be good times and they’ll be not so good times and that was just one of the not so good times.”
“You’re right.” He wet his bottom lip. “I can do this; I’m going to do this. I can’t put up with her shit anymore.” He peeked his eyes to the phone. “Thank you.”
The soft smile was evident in her voice, “You’re welcome. And if you need to talk afterward, you know where to reach me.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble for taking personal calls.”
Brielle chuckled. “All I have to do is say your name and they about fall over themselves trying to come find out how you are and what you’re up to. I don’t think I’m going to get in trouble if you call me.”
“Alright, babe. I’ll call you later and I’ll see you at five.”
“You better; this baby and me are gonna be pretty hungry.”
He smiled at that. “No worries, I’ll take good care of you both.”
“I know.” The line fell silent a second. “Alex?”
He sat up a little straighter in the seat at the tone of her voice, his heart giving a sudden hard thump against his chest. “Yeah?”
Brielle hesitated then gave a soft sigh over the line. “Good luck.”
Alex pressed his lips together and gave a nod. “Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay. Bye.”
He echoed her goodbye then tossed the phone down. Had she been on the verge of telling him how she felt? It had certainly seemed that way, but then she’d chickened out and as much as he didn’t want to be disappointed, he couldn’t stop it from happening. But did he seriously want her to admit it the first time on the phone? In person was so much better, the phone was so impersonal. Yet, that little bit of sadness didn’t want to go away.
But what was he doing trying to analyze their conversation? He had other pressing matters to attend to and one of those was Renee. Taking a deep breath and sending up a prayer, he finally pulled the keys from the vehicle then gathered his belongings and slipped from the SUV. He could do this; Brielle believed in him. He just wished he could believe it too.
~*~*~*~*~
“You did a great job today, Brielle.”
Brielle turned from where she was collecting her purse to see Mr. Lockwood, her boss, standing at the desk. He was a tall man with distinguishing blue eyes and a head full of thick, dark hair. He was the manager of the studio and his day had been chock full of appointments and meetings and faxes and phone calls and Brielle had been running her feet and fingers off trying to keep up with him.
“Really?” She shut the drawer she’d tucked her purse into and set it on the top of the desk. “I felt so lost and overwhelmed trying to learn the phones and your schedule and how to work the fax and the copier.”
Mr. Lockwood flashed a brilliant smile. “Of course really. It takes a couple days to fit in and learn it all, but you were excellent. I’m glad to have you on board with us.”
She found herself returning a smile. “Good, I think I’m going to really like it here. I had fun today despite the ache in my feet.”
Her boss chuckled. “You’ll feel like you’ve been here forever in no time.” He motioned toward the door that would take them to the hall. “You on your way out? I’ll walk with you.”
“Sure.” She stood and slipped her handbag over her shoulder. “I want to thank you again for giving me the opportunity.”
Mr. Lockwood waited until she joined him then took her elbow in a gentlemanly way, guiding them both from the office. “Well, it’s my pleasure. You’re going to become quite an asset to the team, I do believe.”
“You think so? Even though I’m just a receptionist?”
“Hey, every job here is as important as the next. Do you know how lost I’d be if I didn’t have an assistant? Who would field my calls and make my appointments?”
“True.” She chuckled then strolled with him down the hall toward the double glass doors that would lead them from the building. “Thank you for lunch.”
“Oh, I always buy my staff lunch on Mondays,” Mr. Lockwood replied with. “And on Friday’s we have casual dress; so you’re allowed to wear jeans as long as they don’t have rips or tears, or hang so low there’s nothing left to the imagination.”
Brielle laughed. “Oh, no worries there.”
Mr. Lockwood flashed another smile. “Good.” Then he pushed the front doors open and motioned her to go ahead.
The blonde thanked him then slipped outside into the sunlight and pulled some sunglasses from her purse. She slid them on and scanned the parking lot for the black SUV Alex drove. Unfortunately, they hadn’t talked again after their conversation that morning on the phone. She hadn’t had much time for lunch and when she did eat, she joined some of the other team in a board room as they ate the food Mr. Lockwood provided.
Brielle really did think she was going to like working there. The employees seemed really nice and her boss had made her feel welcome from the get go. The job itself didn’t seem too difficult and she was sure she’d have it all figured out by the end of the week.
“Where are you parked?”
Her boss’ voice drew her back to the present and she turned to him. “Oh, I don’t have a car yet, but there’s my ride right there,” and she motioned toward the Porsche idling off to the side. She didn’t want to tell him who was driving the Porsche because then he might want to go over and talk to Alex and she was getting pretty hungry. Besides, she didn’t want to spring someone on him and make him feel obligated toward anything that Mr. Lockwood might suggest. He’d already hinted at wanting Alex and the rest of his group to do some recording in his studio.
“Oh, no car?”
“Not yet, but very soon.” During that short lunch break, Brielle had also made a call to her grandfather’s attorney and he was going to be sending her some information and paperwork for her to look over and get started with in order to acquire the money. The attorney figured it’d only take a matter of weeks before they’d be able to transfer the accounts into her name.
“Okay, well,” he touched her arm just above her elbow, “have a good night and I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You too.” She smiled and nodded. “And thanks again.”
“You’re quite welcome, my dear.” Then he turned and headed toward where his vehicle was and she strolled over to the SUV.
Alex climbed from inside and met her at the passenger side of the Porsche. “Hey, how was your first day?”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug. “It was great! Everyone’s so nice and Mr. Lockwood is great. He seems really understanding and chill and if I mess something up, he doesn’t get all upset.”
“Aw, that’s great, Brie.” He returned the hug and kissed her head. “Who was that man you came out with?”
“Oh, that’s my boss, Mr. Lockwood.” She chuckled low. “I woulda introduced you, but he would have probably tried to convince you to buy some studio time and I didn’t want to spring that on you.”
Alex chuckled some. “That’s alright; I can meet him some other time.”
“Yes,” she pulled back and took his hands in hers. “And I talked to my grandfather’s lawyer and he’s gonna send me the paperwork I need to get the money into my name. Mr. Hiller, that’s his name, said it should only be a matter of weeks.”
Alex couldn’t help but grin at the light in her eyes and the excited expression on her face. “That’s wonderful, babe.” He pulled her in and kissed her forehead. “I’m glad you had a good day.”
“Me too.” She giggled low and squeezed his hands then her face grew serious. “So um, how are you? You never called me today.”
Something passed over his eyes and she knew the talk with Renee hadn’t gone well. “How ‘bout we head on out of here first.” He pulled from her and opened her door.
Brielle frowned slightly, not liking the feeling of worry that was starting to spread through her. “Sure.” She moved to the SUV and slipped up inside.
Alex shut her door then moved back around to his side and joined her inside the vehicle. Then he waited until they were both buckled and pulled from the spot, heading for the exit onto the main roadway.
“So, um, did you make reservations anywhere?” Brielle spoke up, cutting through the thick silence that had already fallen over them both. She hated the tension that was suddenly there and wanted to push it all out the window.
“Actually,” he glanced to her then turned his attention back to the road ahead of him, “that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Uh oh. The conversation with Renee must have gone very badly. “Okay.” she smoothed her black pencil skirt and rested her hands in her lap.
He chewed on his bottom lip and tried to decide the best way to start. “So um, as you know, I went to see Renee today.”
“Right.”
Alex sighed and flexed his hands on the steering wheel. “Well, it didn’t go so well.”
“Yeah, I kinda gathered that from the vibe you’re giving off, not to mention, you never called me back to tell me how it did go.”
“I’m sorry,” he glanced to her, “I wouldn’t have known what to say and what I have to tell you, I didn’t want to do over the phone.”
Suddenly her stomach was sliding into her shoes. “What um…what’s going on?”
He took a deep breath, hating how sick to his stomach he felt and how she was going to react to the news he had to tell her. “Well, I show up there and…she wasn’t doing well at all…” he trailed off then fell silent.
Brielle watched him, her own stomach twisting from the apprehension. “Right now is probably not the best time to make me guess what happened. So how ‘bout you tell me the whole story.”
A small sound came from his throat, but he nodded and concentrated on the road ahead of them. “Alright, so um, like I said, I get there and she wasn’t doing well at all. Like, she hadn’t been eating or sleeping, taking care of herself. Not to mention, her place was a wreck.” He hesitated only a brief moment before continuing, “She told me she just doesn’t care about anything anymore and that she might as well die because without the baby,” or me, he added mentally, “she doesn’t have anything left to live for.”
Brielle frowned at that. “That’s horrible. She needs some serious help; like a therapist or support group or something.”
“Yeah, I tried to suggest that, but she wasn’t having it. And I can tell you from experience,” their eyes met briefly, “until they came to the conclusion to get help on their own, there’s no point in trying to convince them, it’ll only make things worse.”
“So what did you do?”
“Well, I tried to talk to her for awhile, but she just didn’t care. And then I tried to call her parents, but they’re out of the country for like six months-”
“What?!” Her frown deepened as she interrupted him. “They leave the country while their daughter is in that kind of a condition? What the hell kind of parents are they?”
He nodded in agreement. “I know, that’s what I thought.”
She slouched in the seat, adjusting the seat belt around the small bump of her stomach. “So what happened?”
Alex gripped the wheel tighter and the muscle in his jaw flexed.
Brielle arched her brows at that response. “Alex? What happened?”
He looked to her as they came to a red-light. “You can’t be mad at me.”
“What did you do?” That apprehension was growing and her heart was beginning to rise up into her throat.
He pressed his lips together so tight they formed a thin line and were tinged with white. Finally, once the traffic light changed to green and they were heading through the intersection, he was able to force the words out, “I um…told her she could come stay at my place for a little while.”
Brielle felt like she’d just been kicked in the chest; the air in her lungs wooshed out and she couldn’t get a breath. “Y…y…you wh…what?” Was all she could manage.
“I know it sounds really bad,” Alex explained in a rush, “but you should have seen her, Brie; she’s lost like ten pounds and doesn’t look anything like the woman I fell in love with.”
“That’s because she’s not,” you moron, she wanted to add, but refrained. “People change, Alex, and we already talked about how she has. She’s not the same person and you two aren’t the couple you were. You’re never going to be.”
“Even so, I couldn’t just leave her. She needs me and I have to do what I can to help her.” He looked her way again and his voice softened. “It was my baby, too.”
Brielle closed her eyes at his words and felt the guilt of her anger setting in. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, reaching and taking his hand in hers. “I know it was your baby and you’ve been so busy trying to figure out what’s going on with you and Renee and what’s going on with you and me, that you haven’t had time to mourn the loss of your child. I’m so sorry, Alex, I never meant for us to skip over it like you had no feelings on the matter.”
He felt the tears welling in his eyes. “I have to do what I can to help her. Maybe it’s my way of trying to make it up to her, make it up to the baby.”
“I know.” She watched their hands, smoothing her thumb over the back of his. “And it’s your house and your life and your relationship with Renee. I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do. You have to do what you think is right.”
He sniffed and nodded some then gave her hand a quick squeeze before speaking again, “Thank you. I knew you were going to be mad and I don’t want to upset you. Stress is the very last thing you need at the moment.”
Brielle watched him for a long moment before speaking again, “You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. I never meant to put you there, Alex. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to make you feel trapped or in a tug-of-war between the two of us. I don’t want to be the one to have to make you choose.”
He didn’t respond, but the grip on her hand tightened and she knew she was right. She also knew what she needed to do. “I’m going to stay in a hotel for a little bit, while you and Renee sort all this out.”
“What?” His head jerked in her direction.
“Don’t try to stop me, okay. I’m not leaving completely, but right now you need to focus on just one thing at a time. Renee and I living under the same roof is nothing but bad news and none of us, you, me or Renee, need that kind of stress or pressure. She needs to heal and you need to heal and I need to step back so you both can do that. Someone needs to be the bigger person here and she’s too hurt to do that.” She gripped his hand tight with both her own. “So let me do what I can to help you.”
“But, I don’t want to lose you.”
The pain and tears in his voice made her own eyes water. “You’re not losing me,” she managed before a sob came and she had to turn her face toward the window and bite her lip to hold it back.
But he felt like he was. He felt like she was only hanging on by a thread and it was already starting to unravel. There’s no telling what was going to happen in the upcoming weeks with Renee back at his place and Brielle in a hotel room. But something in his gut told him it wouldn’t be good.
And as much as he didn’t want her to leave, her words made sense and he had to appreciate that she was willing to step back and take a back seat while he tried to heal himself and his ex-girlfriend. It was true; he was only one man and could only do so much and eventually the pressures of it all would become too much. He surely didn’t want to go back down the familiar path of alcohol, so maybe with the new living situation he’d be able to breathe again. Though with Brielle gone, he didn’t know how well he’d be able to do that.
~*~*~*~*~
“I’ll come see you every day. So much so that you’ll be sick of me.”
“I could never get sick of you.”
Alex chuckled low and took Brielle’s hands in his. “You say that now, but wait until it actually starts happening. You’ll be begging me to leave you in peace and get out of your hair. I can be rather annoying when I need to be.”
“Never.” She tried to offer up a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes and that made his chest ache. The two of them were standing at the door of the hotel suite Alex had acquired for her later that evening. It was a nice one in one of the nicest hotels in the Los Angeles area. He’d been sure of that; a fully loaded suite with all the amenities she could imagine and more. If she was willing to stay in a hotel for awhile then he was going to make sure she was pampered like none before.
“I mean that though,” he reached and cupped her cheek in his hand, “nothing’s changing. Even though we’re not sleeping in the same place, you’re not getting rid of me.”
“I know.” Her hand came up and held to the back of his. “I better not. You’re my ride to and from work and we have that doctor appointment on Friday.”
He smiled at that. “I haven’t forgotten.” Then he kissed the tip of her nose. “And call me anytime; morning, noon or night. If you need something, please don’t hesitate. Especially if it has to do with the baby.”
“I won’t.” Her thumb smoothed soft circles on the back of his hand. “You just take care of yourself and if you need anything, you know where to reach me.”
Alex sighed and let his forehead rest against hers. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, no, don’t be.” Brielle wrapped her arms around him and drew him in for a hug. “I made the decision, and I’m okay with it,” but as she said the words, the ill taste of disgust was in her mouth. She didn’t want to leave as much as he didn’t want her to leave. But what choice did she have? Someone needed to and Renee was in no shape to be doing that. Obviously the woman couldn’t be left on her own as evident on how well she’d been doing the last week. So, Brielle was just going to have to be the bigger and more mature person and step back from the situation for a little while. The idea of being under the same roof as Renee made her skin crawl, so while this was for Alex’s sanity, it was also for her own.
“I’m going to miss you.”
She chuckled low, trying to will away the tears that were gathering in the corners of her eyes. “You’re going to see me every single day.”
He pressed his face to her neck and gave it a slow kiss then lifted his head again to meet her gaze. “I know, but I’m still going to miss you.”
“You’re going to get so sick of me you’ll be begging to leave here.”
“Never.” He laughed low at that and pulled her into another warm hug. “I’ll never get sick of you, no matter how annoying you can be.”
She chuckled and smoothed a hand over his back. “I never get annoying; it’s just not in my nature.”
“I believe that.”
“You on the other hand,” she poked his side lightly, “are probably the King Supreme of annoying.”
He jerked and grabbed her hands then looked to her again. “I don’t deny it.” Then he let the smile fall from his lips and held her hands up to his chest. “I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
A blush tinged her cheeks. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m really not.” He cupped her cheek and drew her head so their mouths were just a breath away. “I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re a breath of fresh air, a shoulder to lean on, warmth on a cold day and everything in between all rolled into one.”
“Now I know you’re just saying that.” She chuckled low, trying to break the seriousness of the situation. “And I didn’t know you wrote for Hallmark.”
Alex blinked at that comment, trying to put it together in his head, then he chuckled and slipped an arm around her waist, hugging her close to his chest once more. “You’re a smartass.”
She giggled and pressed her face into his chest. It was either make jokes and laugh or stand there and cry, and she really hated crying. Yes, she would see him every day, but something in all of this felt like they were breaking up, or taking some time apart, which was ridiculous because they weren’t a couple to begin with. But she felt it all the same. Hopefully it wouldn’t be long before Renee would be on her way and she’d be back with him, where she belonged.
That made her blink and she stiffened in his arms. Where she belonged. And without a doubt, she knew it was true. She’d found her home in his arms. But because of Renee and all he was dealing with, she couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to add any pressure or make him have to make even harder decisions. She wasn’t going to put him back between a rock and a hard place. When the time was right, he’d be back and then she’d be free to speak her heart. Until then, they just had to grit their teeth and work through it one day at a time.
“I love you, you know that?” Alex’s voice interrupted her thoughts.
Brielle cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes before lifting her head and meeting his gaze. She could so easily lose herself in those eyes that always seemed to wrap around her and draw her in. “I know,” she spoke softly then smoothed her knuckles over his cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
He smiled and kissed her again then crouched and let his hand rest on her slightly swollen belly. “And I love you, too.” Then he kissed her stomach. “You be good for your mama now, you hear.” He rested his cheek against her abdomen and just let his hand stroke her tummy.
She couldn’t stop the tears even if she tried. Why did Renee have to come back into the picture and ruin everything that had been building between the two? She felt like she was losing the one man who had ever truly meant anything to her, the one person who had reached down and lifted her up and saved her from a life of desolate and despair and she was powerless to stop it.
Maybe she was making a huge mistake. Maybe she should just go back with Alex and live in his house, doing her best to deal with Renee and the mess that had become her life. Though as she thought those words, her fingers smoothed through Alex’s hair and she watched the man she had grown to love. She couldn’t do that. She had to do what was best for him and for their baby, and that meant take a step back for awhile so everyone could breathe. It wouldn’t be forever and soon they’d be back in each other’s arms, together with their little baby, all one happy little family. And Renee would finally be out of the picture for good.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So sorry about the delay. Hope you enjoy this chp. :)
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks so much guys for your continued support. Please let me know what you thought about this chp. And take a minute to check out my Tears Before Bedtime fic as well, I think you'll like it. :)
And as always, any names suggestions, lemme know. Thanks!
And as always, any names suggestions, lemme know. Thanks!
