The sun was slowly rising over the horizon and Brielle watched from the balcony of her hotel room with hollow eyes. It was early, too early for her to be awake, but she was feeling restless and uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. The last three days since moving into the hotel room had made her miserable and she was missing Alex something awful. Sure, she saw him when he picked her up or brought her back, and he called her all the time and they’d had dinner last night, but it wasn’t the same. After work, she’d come back to the hotel and read a book, or go online and look up baby stuff, take a dip in the large rooftop pool or just walk the grounds, but she longed to be back with Alex in his house, tucked under a blanket with him on the sofa as they tried to decide on a movie to watch.
She had to keep reminding herself it was only temporary, that Alex would figure things out with Renee and then she’d be the one in his home instead of the evil woman that was trying to push her out of the picture. And then she’d feel bad for thinking of Renee in that way. What the other woman was going through was very traumatic and Brielle couldn’t even imagine how she’d deal with it.
That thought brought her hand to her womb. She felt for Renee, she truly did and whatever the woman needed to heal herself, Brielle was willing to let her have it. No one should have to go through the loss of a child; born or not. Especially not alone. But it surely sucked being the one left out in the cold so to say.
But she wasn’t going to sit out here and get all emotional. She was going to be okay. Both her and her baby. That made the blonde smile and she looked to her tummy, resting both hands over the slight bump that showed. Tomorrow she would be going back to the doctor’s for another check up. She was 16 weeks now and soon they’d get to find out if the baby was a boy or girl. People at work were already asking her which she’d prefer, and honestly, Brielle didn’t have a preference; just as long as the baby was healthy. Which sounded totally cliché, but was the honest to goodness truth.
The sound of her cell phone from next to her pulled the blonde from her thoughts and she picked it up to see Lily’s name on the screen. It was early in California, but it’d be mid morning in New York. With a real smile on her face, she answered the phone and held it to her ear. “Hey.”
“Hey, hon, did I wake you? Sometimes I dial you before even calculating the time difference until it’s too late,” Lily greeted her with an apologetic ramble.
“No, I was actually already awake. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Oh good, well not good that you can’t sleep, but good I didn’t wake you.”
Brielle chuckled low. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m doing great. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
Brielle drew up a shoulder. “I’m okay; could be better, could be worse.”
“Oh, honey,” her friend sighed out. “I’m so sorry. She’s not doing any better?”
“Who knows; Alex and I have agreed not to discuss her when we’re together. My suggestion really, because I don’t want to think about her or hear about her.”
“Then how are you going to know when she’s ready to be on her own again? You can’t trust Alex’s judgment; that woman might be a wonderful actress. You may need to visit his place and size up the situation.”
Brielle paused then glanced toward her phone. “You think she’s making it up?”
“Who knows what she’s doing, Brie; but I wouldn’t put it past her. You saw how conniving she was on your first day in Cali when she invited Alex’s bandmates over to embarrass you.”
“Why would she be making it up? What a horrible thing to do; lose your baby then fake depression just to hang onto a guy.”
“Well this is Renee.”
Brielle sighed and leaned her head back in the chaise lounge she was settled in. “She might not be though, Lil. How would she have known Alex was going to go and try to end things for good? What, she purposely starved herself and trashed her home because she just knew he was going to move her into his place?”
Her friend was quiet for a moment as she mulled it over. “People are crazy, hon, we both know that. Look at what your parents were trying to do; trick you into giving away money that was rightfully yours. Look at all the psychopaths out there. I wouldn’t sell Renee short in that category.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Watch your back and Alex’s. If she’s trying to pull a quick one, don’t let her succeed. She’s already got you to move out of there, all she has to do next is convince your man he’s better off with her; which she can easily do with guilt about the baby, and then it’s back to New York for you.”
The blonde fell quiet as Lily’s words echoed in her head. Was Renee making it all up to weasel her way back into his life? She didn’t want to think so, but the woman was definitely sneaky and a major bitch, so it wasn’t something she could completely write off. But what a horrible thing to do and poor Alex, he already felt bad enough about losing the baby and now she might be playing off that guilt. That thought made a sick feeling begin in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m not saying she is doing that, Brie,” Lily spoke up after a moment of silence. “But you just need to be careful. Maybe she is really depressed, but once she feels better, she might either pretend she isn’t to prolong the situation, or with you not there, try and pick back up where she and Alex left off.”
“I don’t think Alex would let her do that.”
Lily sigh could be heard over the line. “I hope not. I hope he loves you enough to be able to stand his ground. Look at you; your actions speak volumes about how much you love and care for him.”
Brielle stiffened at that, her breath catching. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s so obvious, Brie. If you didn’t care about him and didn’t want him in the middle of all this you wouldn’t have left, but you did because you do. You love him and you want to make all this easy for him so he isn’t hurt anymore,” Lily paused a moment to let her words register with her friend. “I think that’s very commendable of you, honey, and I think it’s telling Alex a lot about how you feel.”
“Then why should I be worried about what Renee does?”
“Because actions may speak volumes, but sometimes a guy has to hear it from your mouth to really let it sink in.”
Brielle gave a groan. “This is making my head hurt.”
Lily chuckled. “I’m sorry. Let’s talk about something else; how’s your job going?”
“Oh, gosh, it’s so great!” That was something she could truly smile about. “Everyone’s so nice and helpful and my boss seems to really be a great guy.”
“Aw, that’s great; I’m so happy for you. How’s the baby doing?”
She touched her tummy at that question. “So far so good. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so cross your fingers for me that everything is okay.”
“Of course,” her friend agreed. “Do you get to find out if the baby is a he or a she, yet?”
“I’m not sure; everything I’ve read says it’s usually between 18 and 22 weeks, so if not tomorrow then our next appointment for sure.”
“Do you want to find out?”
Brielle tilted her head. “Yes and no. Yes, because I want to be prepared and buy the right things. I was never a big fan of unisex colors like green and yellow. But no, because I think the surprise of waiting until that moment would be a great surprise and it’d be a really special moment.”
“Well, you don’t have to decide right away. You could go another couple appointments before you found out if you wanted time to think about it.”
“Right and I want to talk to Alex about it too. See how he feels and what he wants.”
Lily chuckled. “He’ll probably be begging to find out the sex.”
“Maybe he’ll want to be surprised.”
“Maybe.” Lily fell silent a moment then spoke again, “I want to throw you a baby shower.”
Brielle’s brows lifted. “Really?”
“Of course really.” She laughed. “Are you surprised?”
“Well, no,” she shrugged a shoulder, “but we’re on two different coasts, how are you going to give me a party?”
“I can travel, silly. I’ll plan it and make the calls from here, have Alex do the things I need done from there and then come in a few days ahead for the last minute things,” she explained like it would be easy as pie.
“What about all your wedding planning?”
“Brielle,” Lily’s frown reached her friend’s ear over the phone, “I am quite capable of planning both. Besides, I want to throw you a baby shower. Don’t argue with me about it, okay? You’re my best friend and that’s what we do for each other.”
She smiled at those words. “You’re right, thank you. And it’s a good thing you said that, because I plan on giving you one of the best wedding shower’s around.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to do that.”
The blonde tilted her head. “What…what was it you said? That’s what best friend’s do for each other?”
Lily laughed. “Alright, I won’t argue.”
“Thank you.”
She chuckled. “Call me after your appointment and let me know how it goes, though.”
“Of course.”
“Is Alex going with you?”
She shifted her eyes toward the phone. “He better be; when we talked last night he said he was.”
“Good,” Lily gave a snort, “let’s hope she doesn’t mess anything up for you.”
“Heh, she better not.”
“And please do like I suggested and go check her out sometime, okay?”
Brielle sighed. Coming face to face with Renee was the very last thing she wanted to do, but her friend’s reasoning’s had made a lot of sense. “I guess I can, though every fiber in my body’s telling me not to.”
“When it comes to Renee, you should always assume the worst. And call me and keep me updated.” She was quiet for a moment. “You know that if you need me, Brie, you just have to say the words and I’ll be there.”
“I know.” A grateful smile tugged at her mouth. “I really appreciate that, Lily, but I’m doing okay right now. I will keep you updated though.”
“Good,” her friend replied before the subject was changed to the wedding and the brunette went into detail about the decorations and invitations and how her mom and Jordan’s were arguing over the flower settings.
By the time Brielle get off the phone and headed back into the hotel suite to get ready for work, she was feeling a little bit better. Lily always seemed to know what to say to lift her spirits, though the thought of having to go and be in the same room as Renee did make her stomach feel heavy. But her friend was right; who knew the kind of things she was telling Alex. No, she needed to go assess the situation and make sure Renee wasn’t planning on overstaying her welcome.
~*~*~*~*~
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Alex questioned as he steered his SUV away from the parking lot of the studio Brielle worked at.
Brielle pulled her long hair from the bun she’d tied it up in earlier that day. “Um, are you hungry?”
“Starved, actually.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry too.” She massaged her scalp where the tie had been tight against her head then dropped it into her purse. “I didn’t get much time to eat lunch today; Mr. Lockwood had a really jammed pack schedule and he had to work right through his.”
Alex frowned at that. “You didn’t eat?”
“Well, I had a salad at my desk.”
“That’s all you’ve had since breakfast?”
She winced some at the worry in his voice. “Um…yes?”
“Brielle…”
“What? I didn’t mean to miss lunch; things just got busy. I had that salad.”
He sighed and slowed the vehicle to make a right hand turn. “I know, but you really need to make sure you’re eating right and not missing meals. Especially now more than ever.”
“I know, and I normally don’t.” She peeked her eyes his way and found herself smiling at his concern and worry. “I won’t let it happen again.”
“Good.” He reached over and took her hand in his. “You want to go out somewhere?”
Okay, it was now or never; all day Brielle had been trying to figure out a way to convince Alex to take her back to his place. She had finally decided maybe they would pick up dinner somewhere and take it to Renee, sort of a peace offering. Hopefully the brunette would take it that way and there wouldn’t be a fight of any sorts.
“Actually, I thought maybe we could get some take out and take it back to your home.”
He shifted his eyes to her. “Really?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged some, “I’m still allowed there, right?”
“Of course, baby.” He held her hand to his chest. “I just wasn’t expecting you to want to go there.”
“Well, there’s no telling how long Renee is going to be around, so I figured I might as well play nice and extend the olive branch; especially after everything she’s been through.”
Alex felt his heart swell at her words; she was the most amazing woman he’d met yet and it killed him that Renee was coming between the two. Especially when things hadn’t even reached that level yet. “We’ll do that then. Anything specific you had in mind for dinner?”
“Just no Chinese; the thought of that right now makes me gag.” She wrinkled her nose in a cute manner.
He chuckled. “Alright, no Chinese. How ‘bout Italian?”
“Oh,” Brielle’s eyes widened, “maybe Olive Garden; I have a real craving for their breadsticks. Ooh, yes, let’s go there.”
Alex chuckled and gave a nod. “Okay, Olive Garden it is.”
“Thank you.” She giggled low. “It’s the pregnancy cravings.”
“Oh, you don’t gotta explain it to me, baby; I understand.”
She smiled at that. “You’re too good to me.”
“Honestly, I don’t think I’m good enough.”
A frown creased her brow. “What are you talking about? You’ve been nothing but wonderful and supportive since we met. You haven’t questioned my motives and you’ve made sure I’m taken care of. You’re the most caring and sweet and understanding guy I know.”
Alex sighed at that, her words making him feel even more like crap for moving Renee in and letting Brielle leave. “If I were good enough, you wouldn’t be living in a hotel room for a few weeks.”
“Don’t do that to yourself, Alex; don’t let the situation make you feel guilty.”
“I can’t help it.”
She pressed her lips together for a moment. “You can’t control what’s going on and I made the decision to leave. I thought that’s what would be best for you. Don’t worry about me, okay?” She pulled his hand into her lap and held it with both of hers. “I’m going to be okay. Sure, this sucks, but I’ve dealt with much worse.”
He slowed to a red-light and looked to her, his head resting against the back of the seat. “This is why I love you. If the situation were reversed, Renee would be having none of it. I can’t breathe when she’s around and it really makes me second guess myself and my capabilities.”
“I hate that you feel that way.” Her fingers stroked the back of his hand. “I don’t want you to ever second guess yourself; you do what you have to do and you may have screwed up before, and may continue to do so, but that’s okay. No one’s perfect and I’m not going to think any less of you as long as we’re always honest with each other.”
His heart was hammering hard against his chest. Reaching his hand up, he stroked it over her cheek then drew her head closer to his. “Thank you.” Her face was a breath from him and he closed the distance, his lips just barely brushing hers when the sudden sound of a car horn jerked them both back into place.
“Green-light,” Brielle laughed then ducked her head and rubbed her cheek.
“Shit.” He chuckled then lifted his hand in an apologetic wave to the vehicle behind them before starting on through the intersection. “See what you do to me?”
The blonde lifted her head and looked to him with amusement in her eyes. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“You get me so stupid I forget where I am and what I’m supposed to be doing.”
She laughed at that and kissed the back of his hand. “Aw, I’m sorry. I’ll behave myself so you can stay smart and we can get our dinner.”
Alex chuckled. “That sounds like a good plan.”
Brielle had to agree and they managed to make it to Olive Garden and back to his place without any other cars honking at them.
The minute they stepped in through the side door into Alex’s kitchen, the nerves in Brielle’s tummy began to flutter. She didn’t know what kind of a reaction Renee was going to have and all she could imagine was the other woman flying across the room and trying to choke the life from her. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.
“You sure you want to do this?” Alex questioned as he set his keys and the bag containing the food onto the counter. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“No, I’ll be okay.” She slipped her handbag from around her and set it off to the side. “But thank you.”
“Anytime, baby.” He leaned and kissed her cheek before diving into the paper bag and withdrawing the containers of food. “How ‘bout you set the table and I’ll go find Renee.”
“That sounds good.” She crossed over to the sink to wash her hands. “Break it to her lightly that I’m here, I really don’t want her to snap and try to attack me.”
He frowned at that. “She won’t do that, least she better not.” Then he kissed the top of her head before sauntering from the room in search of his house guest.
Alex found Renee in his bedroom. He’d looked everywhere else before finally taking a chance to peek in and see her lounging in an armchair with a book in her lap. Frowning some, he slipped into the room. “What are you doing in here?”
She had started a fire in the fireplace and was seated before it, a blanket over her lap. At his voice, she lifted her head and met his gaze. “Hey, did you get her back to the hotel okay?”
He sighed. “Why are you in here?”
“Was I not supposed to?” Her green eyes surveyed the room before settling on him again and Alex hated how it always felt like she was scrutinizing him. “I like this room, Alex. It makes me feel at ease and I can relax.”
What was he supposed to respond to that with? Reaching a hand to the back of his neck, he massaged it. “I brought dinner back with me.”
Renee’s eyes rose to his again. “I’m not hungry.”
“Renee,” he sighed and moved closer, hunkering down next to the chair, “you have to eat. You promised if I let you move in here for awhile, that you’d try to eat.”
“And I have tried; but I’m not hungry. You can’t force someone to eat when they don’t want to.”
He pressed his lips together and studied her; her eyes were still blank and dark circles lined beneath them. “Did you eat at all today?”
“I had some toast earlier.” She turned back to the book in her lap.
“Well, it’s Olive Garden. I got your favorite; Capellini Pomodoro and I’d like you to try to eat.”
Renee shifted her eyes his way. “You remember what my favorite meal from The Olive Garden is?”
Alex chuckled low. “Of course I do. I haven’t forgotten everything about you just because we’re not a couple anymore.”
She reached out and touched his cheek with her fingers. “I miss our baby so much, but being here with you has really started to help me and I really appreciate that you moved her out so I could heal in peace and with no stress.”
Everything was always about her. That angered him slightly, but he tried to keep his cool. “Brielle isn’t gone for good, Renee. She just moved out for a little bit so none of us would have stress. And that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You want me to move back in here for good?” Hope lit up her eyes.
“Um, no,” he wet his lips some and took her hand in his, “we’re still not going to be a couple, Renee. I care about you, but we aren’t compatible in a relationship like that.”
“How do you know? We were doing just fine until that bitch showed up.”
“Don’t call her that.”
“She’s a home wrecker, Alex. You know that we were happy and planning our wedding and things were just fine before she came into the picture.”
His brows drew together. “How happy were we, Renee? We were sleeping with other people and I never felt like I could truly be myself when we were together.”
She jerked her hand from his touch. “It’s called an open relationship, Alex. People have them all the time and are very happy in their relationships; married people at that.”
“And that’s good for them, but that’s not what I want.”
“Oh yeah? Was that what you were telling yourself while you were picking random women up at bars? While you were fucken her? Because you didn’t seem to have any qualms with the way we had things until now.”
Her eyes were beginning to grow hard and Alex knew he’d just pissed her off, which was not how he wanted things to go. “Renee, I’m not the same person I was back then. People experience things in life that change them and that’s what happened when I found out I was going to be a father.”
“And there you go again, throwing the fact that she still has her baby in my face and I’ve lost mine.” She jerked her book back up and stared at it hard. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to read my book.”
Alex rose to his feet and pinched the bridge of his nose. She was impossible. “Brielle’s downstairs. She came over to see how you were doing. She’s not the enemy here and she wants to try to make amends between you two.”
The book snapped shut so fast the sound echoed throughout the room. “You brought her here?! She’s not the enemy?! Are you even listening to yourself? She’s the one that ruined everything for us and you have the audacity to bring her here!”
“I wish you would listen to yourself! You’re being a selfish bitch.” He was angry now and knew this scene was going to get even uglier very quickly.
“I lost my baby, Alex! I lost my baby and my fiancé! My life is ruined and I think I’m entitled to be a selfish bitch. Now are you done yelling at me? Go downstairs with your little pregnant girlfriend and leave me the hell alone!” She flung her arm toward the doorway, her other hand gripping the spine of the book so tight it turned her knuckles white.
“You need to calm yourself down,” he hissed at her. “I know you lost your baby, but it was my baby too; we lost our baby and now it’s time to figure out how to move on. It’s done and in the past and we can’t stay there with it.”
“Don’t tell me to forget about my baby.” Tears filled her eyes and she wiped them away.
Alex rubbed his forehead. “I’m not telling you to forget about our baby, I’m telling you that it’s time to find a way to work past this. Hanging onto the anger isn’t good for you. It’s time for you to make peace so you can get on with your life.”
“How do you expect me to do that when she’s here flaunting your relationship and baby around in front of me?” The anger had dissipated only to be replaced by grief and hurt. “All I can do when I see her or see the way you are after you’ve been with her is die a little inside. That was supposed to be us.”
“Oh, Renee, I’m so sorry.” He crouched down by her again. “I know it’s hard and I know it’s a lot to have to deal with at once, but you’ll get through it. And I’ll be here when I can be, but only as a friend. I just…I can’t be anything more to you, I’m sorry.”
She nodded and ducked her head so her hair fell around her face, blocking his view. “I just can’t see her yet, you have to understand that. And it’s not fair to ask me to even pretend I’m okay.” She pushed the long locks from her face and looked to him. “If I’m to get better then you can’t force things on me before I’m ready for them.”
Alex sighed and ran a hand over his face; she was right. Pressuring someone to do something before they were ready to was pointless. “Alright,” he relented. “You don’t have to see her, but you can’t hide forever. We agreed that you’d come here and try to get your life back on track,” he paused and waited until their eyes met, “so if I’m holding up my end of the bargain, then I expect you to as well.”
“Alright,” she finally agreed after a long moment of silence between them.
“Good.” He stood and kissed the top of her head in a friendly manner. “Brie and I are gonna eat then. You can come down after I’ve left to take her to the hotel if you don’t want to see her. Or if you get hungry, we can move to another room.”
“Okay.” She situated the blanket around her legs and opened her book again. “I’m not hungry yet, so I can wait awhile.”
He nodded then ran a hand over his face and watched her a moment before finally turning and exiting from the room and into the hall where he found Brielle.
“Oh, hey,” quickly, he stepped back and grasped the door handle of the bedroom door and pulled it shut behind him, “I was just coming back downstairs.”
Brielle’s eyes flittered to the door then back to him. “Did you find Renee?”
“Um, yeah.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, guilt flooding him though he had nothing to feel guilty about. Maybe because she was in his room. Well, he wasn’t trying to hide her, just honor her request not to see Brielle.
“Oh,” she glanced to the door again, “she’s in your room?”
Alex sighed and his shoulders slumped. “She isn’t ready to see you. She says you just remind her of all she’s lost. I don’t want to pressure her.”
“Oh,” she nodded some, “okay, that’s okay.” Something passed over her eyes, but he couldn’t determine what it was. “So um, the food’s all set up, you ready to go eat?”
He shrugged it off and plastered on a smile. “More than ready; I’m starved.” Then extending his hand to hers, he grasped it and started off down the hall. “Maybe after, we can watch a movie.”
“Sure.” Brielle allowed herself to be led along, her gaze casting once more back to the closed bedroom door. She didn’t understand why Renee would be in Alex’s bedroom of all places. And while she wanted to ask him why, she felt like she might not want to know the answer; which made her feel foolish because she knew that nothing was going on between them and she trusted Alex. But it didn’t explain why Renee would be in his room.
“Are you okay?” Alex questioned as they started down the stairs.
“Hm? Yeah, I’m good.” She flashed a beautiful smile and gave his hand a squeeze. “Just hungry.”
“Me too. So let’s go eat then relax in the theater and watch a movie. After, I’ll take you back to the hotel.”
Brielle took his arm with her free hand once they reached the bottom of the stairs. “That sounds good.”
He winked at her. “And if you play your cards right, I might even stay the night.”
“Oh you think so, huh? I have a strict no sleepover policy.”
“Well,” he slipped his arm around her waist and drew her to his side, “we just may have to change that.”
Brielle blushed at the tone in his voice and pulled away. “Food, McLean.”
“Alright, alright,” he chuckled then moved to the table and pulled out her chair, “we’ll eat first. We can discuss your strict policies after.”
“If you’re lucky.” She slipped into the chair and surveyed the food, the smell of it wafting into her nose and making her forget all thoughts about Renee and her location. She wasn’t going to worry herself about the woman anymore. Though maybe it might be a good idea to let Alex stay with her at the hotel tonight; keep him away from his ex. Especially if the woman continued to take shelter in bedrooms she shouldn’t be in.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you to those of you that nominated this fic. And thank you to everyone who has left me any thoughts or comments and to those of you reading it. :) Hope you continue to enjoy.
Chapter End Notes:
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