Alex sighed and tossed his room key onto the small table by the door of his hotel room. Pushing the door shut with his foot, he emptied his pockets and dumped the contents next to the white keycard. What a day. After slipping from Brielle’s room, he’d found Lily and Jordan in the waiting room. He could tell it had taken all of Lily’s strength to control herself and keep from pummeling him with questions on what he and Brie had talked about. After making some small talk, he’d told them he’d be back by sometime in the morning then finally headed out and to a hotel.

He was exhausted; emotionally and physically exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into a bed and disappear under the covers. The conversation with Brielle had been a real eye opener and he’d nearly forgotten about the sharp pain that was stabbing him in the head. He felt like it might seriously split in two. Though it was nothing a couple aspirin and some Jack D couldn’t cure. He could already feel that thirst for the amber colored alcohol in his mouth and was longing to feel the burn as it went down and warmed his entire body. He really needed to forget tonight existed, if even for a few hours.

With a sigh, he kicked off his shoes then strolled over to the wet bar in the corner of the suite. The hotel had been kind enough to stock it with his choice of poison and at the moment he felt like he could down every bottle. Alex knew he shouldn’t be drinking, but he was only so strong and lately he had no energy to fight the urges. So why not just give in every now and then? For the most part, he did pretty well, but there were those days, those hellish days he just wanted to curl up inside himself and that’s when he’d reach for the bottle.

And today was one of those days.

Taking a bottle from the midni fridge and a tumbler from the cabinet above it, he poured himself some of the potent liquid then downed it in one swallow. It stung in a way that hurt, but felt oh so good and then he poured another. He was on his fourth when his black iPhone sounded from its spot on the table and Alex gave a groan. Why was someone interrupting him? He shoved his drink to the side and grabbed the white bottle of Tylenol from the counter as he passed it by. Shaking two from it and popping the cap back on, he quickly tossed them back then grabbed up his phone just before it cut to voice mail.

“Talk to me,” he rasped over the line.

“Alex?” His mother’s voice cut through the warmth that the alcohol had filled his body with, replacing it with an icy cold. Denise always had a way of picking the very moment he was indulging in some Jack D to call him; it was like she had a sixth sense and just knew he was up to no good.

He cleared his throat and strode back towards the wet bar. “Hey, Mom.”

“Are you in New York? Did you talk to this girl?”

Alex closed his eyes and took a slow breath before responding, “Yeah, I’m here and I talked to her.”

“What did she have to say? I bet she’s not even pregnant.”

“No, Ma, she’s definitely pregnant.” He sank down onto a stool and stared at the drink that was still calling his name.

“Are you sure? Women can fake things like that.”

“She’s not faking it.” He wasn’t going to go into detail and tell her about Brielle’s fainting spell, something told him she might say the young lady was faking that as well.

“Well, then we’ll just have to get a test done as soon as possible.”

Alex rubbed his aching head. “No.”

Denise hesitated. “No?”

“The baby’s mine, Mom. I know it is.”

“Alex,” she sighed and he could picture the expression she must have on her face, “you hardly know this girl, you don’t know for sure that the child is yours. I highly suggest that you get a test done before you make any decisions.”

“I’m not doing the test.” He reached and grabbed the tumbler.

His mother was silent for a moment and when she finally spoke, her tone was softer, “Are you saying that because it’s what we want you to do?”

His eyes narrowed and he glanced to the phone. “Who is we? You’re not going around telling anyone about this, are you?” Sometimes it was hard for Denise to keep mum about certain situations dealing with her son. She was one of those super proud mothers that felt the need to share their child’s every move with anyone who would listen. It’d come back to bite him in the ass one too many times.

“I’m just saying, honey. And your lawyers are going to say the same thing.”

Oh great. That thought caused a sharp pain to shoot from the base of his skull. “Fuck,” he breathed out in a long sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“Alexander!”

“Sorry.”

She let out a slow breath. “I just don’t want someone to take advantage of you, baby. I’m just concerned about you and your well being and I don’t want you to fall victim to some scam or extortion scheme.”

“It’s not a scheme, Mom.” He lifted his head and set the glass of alcohol back onto the counter. “She’s in real bad shape. She was kicked out of her apartment, she can’t find a job and she has no money.”

“Oh, that poor dear.”

“I didn’t know what to do, Mom. I mean, she’s having my baby and she can hardly take care of herself. She’s not eating properly and she’s exhausted and I don’t even know what kind of doctor care she’s had for the baby.” He ticked off the facts on his fingers.

“Oh, sweetheart, I know that must be a horrible situation for her, but it’s not your place to fix her problems.”

“Maybe not, but I can’t let her continue like that when she’s having my child.” He frowned at the thought and stared hard at the drink, already imagining it taking the edge off and relaxing him enough to forget this entire conversation with his mother.

It was a moment before he realized the line was silent. “Um, Mom?” He lowered the phone and checked to make sure they were still connected, which they were.

“Ooh, no. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Mom, what…”

“No, Alexander, absolutely not!”

Her blinked at the ferocity in her words. “Mom…what…are you talking about?”

“You are not taking her back to California with you. Tell me you aren’t.”

“Mom,” he frowned and shifted his eyes toward the phone, “what…I…so what if I am.”

“Oh, Alex, you don’t even know if this child is yours. You are asking for trouble. At least call your lawyer first.”

“I’m not going to call my lawyer first. She needs help, Mom. I asked her to come to California with me and check it out. She doesn’t have to stay, but I’d like to at least give her a place to stay for awhile while she gets herself in better shape. I’m gonna see about getting her a job and once she starts making enough money, she can get her own place.” He frowned some. “This is your grandchild here, Mother, you could at least pretend to have some sympathy and concern for them both.”

“Well,” Denise scoffed, “you sure put me in my place.”

Alex sighed. “I wasn’t trying to. I’m just doing what needs to be done. Do I want to? Not particularly. I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of having a child with a woman I barely know. And I’m not thrilled with how Renee is going to take the news. My future with her might be over after she finds out about the baby. But I’m doing it. I’m stepping up and being a man here. Not some asshole who lets the mother of his child live in the streets and beg for handouts. I’m not going to just walk away, Mom. I’m not Bob.”

He could hear her sigh over the line. “I just don’t want you to ruin your life and the child turns out not to be yours. At least to a test before you make any major decisions.”

He wanted to hurl the glass full of Jack Daniels across the room. His mother was being too judgmental and close minded for her own good. “Mom, you know I love you and you know I respect your opinions, but I need to live my life the way I want to, not the way anyone else wants me to. And if I make mistakes, then so be it.”

“Alex-”

He shook his head, not in the mood to discuss this any further. “Um, actually, Mom, I need to go. I love you, okay? I’ll call you in a few days.” And then he disconnected the call before she could object. Shaking his head, he shoved his phone onto the counter then raked his hands through his hair. Fuck. That was the only word he could think to describe the circumstances that were dropping into his lap. He was clearly fucked and not in the good way.

What was he going to do? What was he going to tell Renee? How was everyone going to take the news? His family, his friends, his bandmates, the fans? What would they say? Normally, Alex didn’t care what anyone thought, but this wasn’t a racy t-shirt or new hair color; this was another life. A baby. His baby. And now Brielle was being drawn into his life and he could only imagine what she’d have to put up with.

Reaching for the glass of liquor, Alex stared down into it and swirled it some, watching the liquid splash up against the sides of the tumbler. Why oh why oh why was this happening to him? He had to fucken idea. But he did know one thing; quickly downing the drink, he pushed the glass out of the way and reached for bottle; it was going to be one very long night.

~*~*~*~*~

“Afternoon, sleepyhead.”

Brielle stretched some and yawned, glancing over to find Lily lounging in the armchair in the corner. “How long have I been sleeping? What time is it?” She rubbed her face and shifted some in the bed.

“Since you fell asleep yesterday evening and it’s just after twelve.” The brunette plucked a brown paper bag from a table that sat next to the chair and brought it to the bed. Then she shifted up on it careful of her friend. “I brought bagels and fresh orange juice.”

“Ooh.” Brielle pulled herself into a sitting position and eagerly accepted the food. “I’m starving.”

“I bet you are.” Lily unwrapped her own bagel and began to smear strawberry jam onto it.

Brielle worked on buttering her own breakfast. “Thank you for this.” She licked some butter from her thumb then set the knife to the side and opened her orange juice carton.

“You’re very welcome.” Lily sent her friend a warm smile then took a big bite of her bagel. She was quiet for a moment as the two girls began to eat, but then wiped her face with a napkin and spoke, “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” She chuckled and wiped her fingers onto a napkin. “I didn’t realize how exhausted I really was.”

“You need the rest.” Lily watched her friend a moment. “So…how did your talk with Alex go?”

Brielle’s eyes shifted to her then back to her bagel. “Is he here?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. But he said he’d be back before he left last night.” She reached for her orange juice. “Are you two okay?”

“You could say that.” She tore some of the bagel apart and stuck it into her mouth.

Lily’s intense green eyes watched her. “What happened?”

Her friend sighed and pushed some pale blonde hair from her face. “He wants me to go to LA with him.”

Lily blinked, her mouth falling open.

“I know, right!” Brielle nodded, still feeling pretty shocked herself.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” She took another bite of her bagel. “I didn’t know what to say and he didn’t let me talk. He told me to think about it and he’d be back today.”

“Gosh, Brie,” Lily shook her head, “that’s…I…wow, I don’t know what to say.”

“You and me both.”

“What…did he say why he wanted you to go with him?”

She gave a sigh and leaned back against the pillows behind her. “He said that he can help me find a job; he has a lot of connections. And he said that I don’t have to stay out there, but just go out there long enough to get myself back on my feet and get myself healthy.” She brought her cloudy blue eyes to meet her friend’s gaze. “He said I don’t have much going on for me here, and that’s true.”

“Yeah, but…to move clear across the country with some guy you don’t even know.”

“You’re the one who got me into this situation. He wouldn’t be out here and we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you hadn’t decided to take matters into your own hands.” Brielle arched a brow at her friend, knowing she was more than right.

“I know and I’m sorry if you got upset. I just…I couldn’t let …” she trailed off and looked down at the bagel she was slowly picking apart.

Brielle gave a small groan and grabbed her friend’s hand. “I know, Lily. I’m sorry if I freaked out on you. I just…I really wasn’t pleased that you took it upon yourself to contact Alex and his mom.”

Lily squeezed her hand in a comforting way. “I know you weren’t. I don’t know why I thought you might be glad to see him. Maybe it’s because you’re running yourself ragged and I thought you might like to know that he wasn’t running away and freaking out. The conversation we had was calm and he didn’t once accuse me of lying or concocting some plan. He seemed genuinely concerned in how you were doing.”

“Well, now he wants me to move to Los Angeles.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

Brielle’s eyes widened. “Are you agreeing with him? I don’t even know the guy. What if he’s…like some sicko or perv or something.”

She shrugged in a casual manner. “I’ve been doing some research and from what I’ve found out, he seems like a decent guy. He’s had some serious issues in the past, but it looks like he’s worked through them and he’s okay.”

“Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes, “the stuff you read online about celebrities is only a dent in what they’re really like. He could get me out there then rape me and beat me.”

“Heh, he even thinks about that and I’ll kick his ass.”

She shook her head and studied the last bit of her bagel before popping it into her mouth. “I don’t know, Lily. I’d be leaving you and you’re going to be getting married soon. And I don’t even know anyone out there. I’d feel so out of place and not to mention; he does have a fiancée. That would just be a very awkward situation and everyone would look at me like some girl who was trying to get something from him.”

“But you’re not.”

“They would still think I was. They’re going to think I’m using him, that I got myself pregnant on purpose or that it’s not even his child.” Her shoulders sank as if all the worry was weighing them down.

“Brielle, who cares what anyone else thinks.” Lily gathered the trash and tucked it into the bag then set the paper bag to the side. She brushed some crumbs from the bed then turned back to her friend. “This doesn’t have anything to do with anyone other than you and Alex-”

“And his fiancée,” She interjected.

“…And his fiancée. So who cares if they think you’re some money hungry slut who stole his sperm while he was sleeping then impregnated yourself with a turkey baster.” It was her turn to roll her eyes. “People talk shit because they’re ignorant. You just have to learn to ignore them.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know it is, honey.” She took her friends hand again. “I think you can do this. And the more I think about it, the more I think it might be the right thing to do. Not only would you be getting back onto your feet, but he’d get to be there for all the exciting things that come with having a baby. And who knows, maybe there’s someone out there that would be interested in your photography.”

“I don’t know, Lily. The idea freaks me out.” Though the thought of getting to try and prove herself with her talent did sound appealing.

“It freaked you out to come out here to New York on your own and you did it. It’s a big change, but at least you won’t be alone this time. And hey,” she gave her hand a shake, “you know that I’ll be coming out to visit you every chance I get.”

Brielle watched her best friend. She knew that Lily had a point; and Alex’s offer sounded so nice. Sure, she could turn him down and stay with Lily and Jordan for a few more months, but they were planning a wedding and she was having a baby and those two just did not mix when it was two separate people. She’d need her own place and they’d want to be alone as newlyweds. And Alex said he could help her get a job and get on her feet. She didn’t have to stay with him and she didn’t even have to stay in LA once she was in a position to make decisions like that. Maybe it couldn’t hurt to just check it out.

“Gah,” I don’t know,” she pulled her hand from Lily’s and ran both of them through her hair, “I just don’t know. If I go, then I won’t see you and you won’t get to do the baby stuff with me. I won’t get to help you plan a wedding and I’d be all alone. And I just don’t know if I want to get in-between him and his fiancée.”

“I got news for you, Brie; you’re already in-between him and his fiancée, rather you go to LA or not.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “What if I hate it out there?”

“What if you love it? You know that we’ll still talk all the time and I’ll come see you as often as I can. And technology is great these days so you’ll still be able to be involved with the wedding plans. Don’t worry about me or us, because we’re still going to be there for each other even if we’re on opposite shores. You just need to worry about yourself and that baby and making sure you take care of yourself. And I think Alex could help you do that.”

She sighed. “You think I should go?”

“I think you should give it a try. You could even just go for a visit for a week or two; just check it out and see what it’s like. And if you hate it, you know you’re welcome back here.”

“Ooh, a visit.” She perked up. “I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that. That…might be okay.”

Lily smiled. “It’s worth a shot at least, right?”

“Right.” A pause. “But what if he’s an asshole?”

The brunette arched a brow. “You honestly think he’s an asshole? He flew out here to see you as soon as he heard the news, he stayed with you yesterday when you passed out and scared the shit out of everyone and he offered up his home to you. What part of any of that says he’s an asshole?”

Brielle made a face. She knew he wasn’t an asshole. Their time together the first night they met told her that much. “I think I need to ask him about his fiancée first. Make sure that it’s not going to put everyone into an awkward situation.”

“He shoulda thought about that before you two did the nasty.”

“I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”

“I know you didn’t and he obviously didn’t care.”

She nodded some and pressed her lips together for a moment. “Alright, I’ll go for a visit.”

Lily smiled. “Good.”

“And you’re coming with me.” She turned to her friend.

“What?” The brunette blinked.

Brielle gave a small grin, but didn’t get a chance to expand on that statement because the subject of their conversation knocked then stepped into the room. He was dressed in some dark jeans and a dark blue tee with some kind of weird picture on the front. A black ballcap was pulled low on his head and dark sunglasses covered his eyes. The blonde thought that was a little strange considering they were inside and from the looks of the gray clouds outside her window, didn’t appear to even be needed on the outside.

The two girls exchanged a curious look.

“Um, hi.” Brielle glanced back to him and gave a little wave.

“Hey,” his voice sounded hoarse like he might be getting sick or had been screaming all night. Neither female realized it was from all the alcohol he’d thrown back and he was shading his eyes from any kind of light that might make the pounding in his brain even worse.

Lily frowned some. “Are you alright?”

Alex gave a cough then cleared his throat. “Yeah, how are you ladies?”

“We’re doing well.” She glanced towards Brielle then back towards the newcomer. “We were just discussing that Brie has decided to take you up on your offer and go with you to LA; but just for a visit first to make sure she likes the place.”

“And Lily is coming with me.”

Alex looked to Brielle, his head snapping back towards Lily then to Brielle again when she announced that Lily would be joining them. “She is?”

“If that’s okay,” the blonde quickly added. “I think I’d just like to visit for a week or so first. And I know it might be a lot to ask that Lily come with me, but I’d really like for her to be there. I wouldn’t know anyone and I would hate to monopolize your time or make you feel like you have to keep me company or something, and if Lily came then neither of that would happen.”

He wasn’t much in a mood for discussions, but he didn’t see anything wrong with her suggestion. The points she made certainly seemed valid and if it would make her more comfortable then he didn’t see anything wrong with it. He had plenty of room at his place and if the two wanted to go somewhere, they could borrow his SUV. The only problem was going to be Renee. She was going to go ape shit when she found out that he was fathering a child with another woman and then she would go fucken insane when she found out he had brought that woman back to LA with him. But maybe if her friend came along, it wouldn’t be so bad. Or awkward. Or so much tension. Hey, he’d try anything at the moment.

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine. Lily can come.”

“Great.” Brielle smiled at him then to her friend. “You’re coming with.”

“Yeah, I’m coming with.” Lily didn’t sound too enthused at the moment.

The blonde turned her attention back to Alex. “When are you wanting to leave?”

At the moment, the only thing he wanted was a dark room and complete silence. He knew he shouldn’t have drunk as much as he had, but it had been like he had no control. Bottle after bottle was opened and he’d found himself downing one after another. Alex hadn’t realized just how much he really had consumed until that morning when he’d stumbled over the empty glass containers and surveyed the damage. He was just glad there hadn’t been anyone around to witness his down spiral into hell. He couldn’t let himself lose control like that again or next time he’d be in some serious shit.

“Alex? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Brielle’s voice echoed in his head and he hadn’t even realized that his mind had drifted away until she spoke. “Yeah, I’m good.” He cleared his throat again and tugged on his shirt some. “Have um…have you had lunch yet?”

“She slept all the way through lunch. We just finished some bagels.” Lily thumbed towards the brown paper sack.

“Oh, okay.” He shifted some on his feet, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“When were you planning on returning to LA?” Brielle tried her question again.

Alex turned his gaze to her, or at least she thought he was looking at her, but couldn’t be certain for the sunglasses covering his eyes. “Um, I hadn’t decided yet. I wasn’t sure what would happen here when I showed up, so I didn’t book a return flight.”

Lily kicked at the vacant chair next to the bed. “You can sit down, you know.”

He waved that offer off, “I’m good, but thanks.”

She shrugged and looked back to her friend. “Okay, well…I think I’m gonna take off now.”

“But you just got here.”

“No, I didn’t.” She chuckled and rose from the bed, smoothing her shirt. “I’ve been here since ten. Besides, now that I’m taking a trip to LA, I need to go let my fiancé know and get to packing. I’ll call you in a couple hours.” She leaned and kissed her friend’s cheek. “Talk to him about that fiancée,” she whispered before pulling back and taking up her belongings from the table to the side. Telling Alex she’d see him later, she called out one more goodbye to Brielle then disappeared from the room.

The blonde stared at the empty doorway for a moment before turning to her visitor. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Something didn’t seem right with him and it was making her uncomfortable. “Did you change your mind about wanting me to go to LA? Because I don’t have to go.”

“What?” His brow furrowed then he shook his head and moved to the bed. “No, no, not at all. I still want you to come.”

“Okay,” she nodded and smoothed the blankets around her, “then what’s going on? Do you not want Lily to go?”

“Oh, no, not at all. She can come, I don’t mind.” He sank into the chair, tugging his pant legs up some.

Maybe it was the dark obstruction hiding his eyes that was making her feel disturbed. “Hey, come here a second.” She motioned him closer.

“Hm?” He leaned forward then blinked when she reached and slowly removed the sunglasses. “Hey…”

“Much better.” Brielle folded the arms then set them safely to the side. “Now,” she turned back to him, her eyes stretching at the sight of his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles beneath, “what happened?”

Alex turned away, glancing off toward the other side of the room. “I had a rough night.”

“I’d say so.” Immediately she regretted the words. “I’m sorry. I know that this isn’t easy for you and it was probably one hell of a shock to find out.” The poor guy had probably been tossing and turning all night long.

He frowned and slouched in the chair. “It really was.”

She gave an understanding nod. “Do you…want some time before I come out to visit? Like…is there anyone you need to talk to or anything you need to do first?”

Yeah, tell his fiancée. Rubbing his jaw, Alex brought his weary gaze back to Brielle. “Actually, there is someone I need to talk to first.”

“You’re fiancée, right?”

He looked taken back. “How did you know?”

Her fingers fiddled with the edge of the blanket. “I saw the People magazine about your engagement. That’s how I found out who you were.”

“I wondered how you knew how to find me.”

“Lily did all that on her own. I had no idea she was looking you up. She’s a genius when it comes to Google.”

Alex gave a low chuckle at that then rubbed his jaw. “I um…should probably fly back home and talk to her. I think she’d take the news a lot easier that way instead of showing up with you and Lily.”

She was inclined to agree. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“Yeah.” His tired eyes met hers before he leaned forward in the seat and covered his face with his hands. “She’s gonna to kill me.”

Brielle winced some. “I’m sorry,” she breathed out softly. She wanted to reach out and touch him, offer some kind of support, but she wasn’t sure if she should. He didn’t seem to be in the best of moods and she didn’t want to upset him any more than he already seemed to be.

He rubbed his eyes then lifted his head to her again. “But that’s life, right? You just take the shit that comes your way and roll with it.”

“Rolling with shit would be gross.”

He frowned some and stared at her a moment before he understood her comment. Then a laugh spilled from his mouth and he shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled out lowly, “that wasn’t appropriate.”

“No,” he sniffed and cleared his throat, “don’t apologize. I needed that laugh.”

“Kay.” She watched him a moment. “Okay, so um…just let me know when you want us to come out and we will. Maybe once things settle down.”

“That could be months. I’ll talk to her, give her a few days and see how things go then have you ladies come join me.” He glanced towards the door as a nurse entered the room then back to her. “I’m gonna go see what kind of coffee this place has. I think I’ll feel better once I eat something.”

“Yeah, okay. I Hope you feel better.”

He rose to his feet. “I’ll be back in a little while. Hopefully the doctor will come see you soon and let you know when they’re releasing you.”

“I hope so.” She studied him a moment, feeling horrible that her news had taken quite a toll on him.

He could read her expression. He reached and squeezed her arm. “Hey, I’m okay. I just had a rough night, but I’m okay.”

“Good.” She smiled at him then turned to the nurse as the older woman moved to the other side of the bed and spoke to her patient.

Alex watched them a moment then grabbed up his shades and slipped from the room. Tugging his ballcap lower on his head, he glanced left then right and headed for the elevators. He needed some coffee, he needed some Ibuprofen, he needed a long nap in a dark room, he needed to wake up from this crazy ass dream and he needed to call his mom. He’d been a little harsh with her last night when all she’d been trying to do was protect him. First, he’d find the coffee then he’d take the pain medication and then he’d find a quiet, secluded place and call his mom. He probably wouldn’t be getting that nap today and he knew he wouldn’t wake up from this dream because it was no dream. This was now his life.