~*~*Dear Friend, What’s On Your Mind?*~*~
~*~*You Don’t Laugh The Way You Used To.*~*~
I know you try so hard to hide it, but you can’t keep anything from me. I’ve noticed everything. I notice how you went from lively, center of attention to cold, withdrawn. Your smile isn’t the same anymore. Neither is your laugh. They’re both too forced to be yours.
What’s wrong? I do wish you’d tell me. I can’t stand how you look to me. You look like walking death, a corpse who is restlessly walking among the living. The thing is, it was only a few weeks ago that you were normal. Well as normal as you could be when you were yourself.
Kevin jumps on you for so little lately. The smallest mess-ups, the quickest mistake set him off. I know when Kevin yells at you calling you immature and a baby hurts you. But you have to understand, that Kevin is only yelling at you…because like me, he is worried about you.
He knows that something is troubling to the point where you’re letting your health suffer. Like me, Kevin wonders why you’re so pale, and shaky all the time, and why you’re not any fun anymore. Like me, Kevin wonders what happened to our youngest brother.
Just like right now. He’s yelling at you for messing up during one of our rehearsals. These occasions used to be rare…but now they seem to be a common occurrence. So what if you went right instead of left? So what if you didn’t turn at the exact moment you were supposed to? Kevin should know that your attitude as of late proves you need patience, not irritability. Sigh. Here he goes again.
“I Just don’t’ see why you can’t get this routine right! IT’S NOT THAT HARD!” Kevin yells.
”Sorry Kev,” you mumble miserably.
“Sorry ain’t good enough! You can’t do anything right lately! You’ve been TERRIBLE!!! You can’t do the routine, and can’t even fucking sing in key! Get it together! Is this a joke to you?” Jeepers Kevin can you be any more cruel?
“Sorry Kev,” You whisper again your eyes beginning to well with unshed tears.
“Whatever! Get it together,” Kevin snaps then leaves the room. The other two, who have been sitting there wide eyed the entire time excuse themselves and go after Kevin. No doubt to scold him for being so stern.
I meanwhile look over at your pathetic form and sit down next to you. I wrap my arm around your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay buddy,” I whisper comfortingly. You pull away from me.
“No it’s not,” you reply almost harshly, “I can’t do anything right, Kevin’s right. I’m just worthless.”
“That’s not true! You’re very good at what you do!” I reply sternly.
“Not lately.”
“Well…you’ve just been off lately, you’re gonna be fine!”
“If you say so,” you reply with a shrug. You’re not convinced and a deep silence follows. I can’t think of what I want to say…then when I figure out what I WANT to say, I have to figure out how to approach it. I’m afraid of how you’ll react. I’m afraid you’ll blow up at me, tell me to mind my own business, and never talk to me again. You know…tear me a new one?
But even worse than this original thought, I’m afraid you’ll close yourself off completely and that I’ll never find out what’s destroying you so. It’s this fear, which has as of late made me extra careful around you. The fact you’ve been overly sensitive to boot doesn’t exactly help either. Well…I guess it’s now or never. I’ll never know if I don’t ask.
“Hey,” you look at me when I speak, “what’s been troubling you lately?” Wow…such horrible tact. I can’t believe I was so blunt! STUPID STUPID STUPID!
“Huh?” you answer stupidly, “What do you mean?” Now I know you don’t think I’m completely stupid, you know what I’m talking about!
“Well…” I approach the situation differently this time, “as of late, you’ve been distant. You don’t go out with us unless you have to, you don’t’ smile or laugh the way you sued to, you don’t’ even seem to enjoy your career anymore, which you used to take such great pleasure in. You look sick all the time, and have no energy. So what’s up? You can tell me!”
“Nothing’s wrong,” you laugh with a forced smile, “I just havent’ felt like myself lately….but it’s just a funk and I’ll work myself out of it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah! Of course!”
“…Okay then…” You get up to leave, “But…” You turn back to me
“Yes?”
“If you were having problems…you’d tell me right?” You smile.
“Of course!”
“Okay, Bye then see you tomorrow!”
“Bye.” You’re gone now and I am left here with all my thoughts alone. You’re lying to me, that much is obvious. So what is really bothering you? And why can’t you tell me? It’s really boggling my mind. You may think I’m silly for worrying about you so much, but you’re my BEST friend, so it shouldn’t come as such a shock.
All I want is for you to be yourself again. Tell me something…ANYTHING to let me know that the one that I love so much as a best friend and brother is still in there somewhere… I just want some sign that you’ll be alright! Pull a prank! Tell a Joke! Laugh at a Joke! Smile!…something.
I don’t’ know what’s bothering you friend, but I won’t stop until I find out.
Because I want my little brother back,
Because I miss your jokes and mischief,
Because I want you to be my best friend again,
Because I care,
Because I miss you Nick.
~*~*Dear Friend, What’s On Your Mind?*~*~
~*~*You Don’t Laugh The Way You Used To.*~*~
Dear Friend by Sam
