After getting rid of the blonde who’d shared his bed the night before, Nick closed his hotel room door and sighed. You’ve still got it Carter! He took a shower, marvelling at the sight of his body in the full length bathroom mirror. It was still a bit of a novelty for him, seeing himself like this. He hadn’t got why girls went so crazy for him back in the old days, sure he knew he wasn’t ugly, but he hadn’t thought of himself as anything special. But now, compared to his 2020 self, he was a fine specimen of a man.

Once he’d dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, Nick quickly packed up his belongings and laid back down on the bed. He had about an hour before he had to be downstairs with the others and ready to leave, so he thought he may as well enjoy the silence while he could. He’d hardly had chance to think since finding himself back in 2005, what with the show and then the blonde chick last night, he smiled a satisfied little smile to himself at the thought of that. But then his mind began to wander to more serious matters as it really began to sink in that he really was here, back in 2005. It just didn‘t seem possible. What was he doing here? Why him? There must be some logical reason. People didn’t just go back in time, as far as he was aware time travel hadn‘t been invented, except in the movies! He ran his fingers through his blonde, still damp from the shower, hair and sighed out loud, then closed his eyes.

He didn’t think he was in heaven, but then again, maybe he was. He didn’t know anything anymore. Maybe, just maybe he was here for a reason, to put things right which had gone wrong in his life, because his life had gone straight down the toilet these last few years and he had no one to blame but himself. What did he have to look forward to in 2020? Fuck all, that’s what! His wife had divorced him and taken the kids with her, and who could blame her? He’d made her life a living hell with the way he’d treated her. He could see that now and realised that she was better off out of it, as were the kids, they deserved better. The kids. He wiped a tear from his left eye as it began to trickle down his face as he thought about his children, Jacob, Adam and Bethany. He’d let them down, he was a failure as a father. What had he ever done for them? Exactly nothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d played with them in the park or read them a bedtime story. He really was a pathetic excuse of a man.

As for the rest of his sorry excuse for a life, if you could call it a life, in 2020 he spent most days high on cheap drink and whatever pills he could get hold of, he wasn‘t fussy. And when he did have spare money in his pocket, he headed to the bar to blow it on whiskey. On those occasions, he’d often get up and sing, sometimes with whatever band were playing that night, other times on his own, picking up the guitar which was always kept behind the bar for him by Ryan, the guy who ran Hobbs Bar. Although he wasn’t always in tune and seemed to slur his words from time to time, the regulars never seemed to complain. Why would they complain, when they were just as drunk and out of it as he was.

In 2020 he hadn’t worked in a long time, he was unemployable. Who wanted to employ a drunken fucked up failure of an ex-Backstreet Boy? That was a bit of a lie though, he‘d had a few opportunities.

After the boys had gone their separate ways in 2006 (all down to him), he’d had the chance of a solo recording contract, but had fucked that one up big time. The label had given him a chance going on the success he‘d had with the Backstreet Boys and his previous solo album Now or Never, in fact they’d given him a couple of chances, but in the end they’d had no choice but to drop him, he just wasn’t worth the risk anymore. It wasn’t just that he was a bad role model to all those teenagers out there who still loved the once cute Nick Carter (although that didn‘t help), it was a culmination of other things, like not showing up for appearances, turning up for events drunk, appearing at the studio high as a kite and totally dysfunctional, numerous DUI charges and the list went on.

After a short while, the money he’d earned over the years began to dwindle. He was living the A list party lifestyle when his income was more Z list. It had to stop. And he did manage to clean up his act for a while. It was during that time that he met and fell for Mandy. She’d been just what he needed and although he’d always shunned marriage, he decided she was the one and married her after a whirlwind romance.

Of course, the happiness and sobriety didn’t last. Not even becoming a father was enough of an incentive to prevent Nick picking up his bad habits time after time.

When the money was virtually gone and they couldn’t manage on just Mandy’s meagre earnings alone, he’d gone cold turkey in an effort to get off the drugs and booze and try to resurrect his music career, but it was too late, the music scene had moved on and no one wanted anything to do with Nick Carter. His ship had sailed.

Nick realised he’d have to go out and get a real job. But without any experience or any real qualifications, the only work he seemed to be offered was security work. Not that he was complaining of course, beggars couldn‘t be choosers after all, but it wasn‘t what he‘d pictured himself ever doing. He drifted from job to job, never being able to hold it together for long once he‘d started drinking again. Before long he wasn’t good enough for anything, no one would employ him, they just had to take one look at him and realise what a mess he was. He’d really let himself go.

He did have weeks, sometimes months where he managed to clean up his act, he supposed that’s why Mandy stuck with him during that time, she thought he’d change. But it never lasted and the slightest little thing could trigger a binge.

They’d had to sell their house and move somewhere smaller, Nick had run up a lot of debt over the past couple of years and it finally caught up with them. He would never forget how upset Mandy had been when they’d had to pack up and go, she’d worked all the hours possible to try and stay there, but it was no good, she couldn’t do it all alone. Within a couple of years they were on the move again, to the trailer park, it was then that his wife had finally left him, she’d gone through so much and could take no more, he couldn’t blame her.

Looking back on the things he’d done, Nick decided then and there that it was time to make a change, to take control of his life and turn it around. He was here for a reason and he was now convinced it was a second chance at life. He didn’t want to end up fucking this one up.