The plane ride to Sweden was long and so far uneventful. I sat there reading the itinerary Denise made. There was no time for sight seeing or anything else. They were going to be recording a few songs and nothing else. The only free time would be at night. Alex, Nick, and I were underage so we wouldn’t be able to go out.

Kevin was sleeping next to me. Howie was snoring a few seats in front of us. Alex was talking to his mom. Brian and Nick were playing connect the dots. I was bored. We had four more hours to go.

“So Nick, are you still fighting with Ashton?”

“I guess. I don’t know why she’s always mad at me. I don’t try to bother her.” Nick connected two dots with a line.

“She seems to get easily annoyed with you. I’ve never seen her be that way.”

“I’m just going to stay away from her. I’m getting tired of her yelling at me.”

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I was never so happy to see the hotel. I was tired and the time change didn’t help.  Denise and I were sharing a room. All the boys had to share. Quickly I unpacked, and then we were all heading out to the studio.

“Can you go make sure Alex, Brian, and Nick are ready? We need to leave in ten minutes. Make sure they get on the elevator with you.”

I exited the room and went to the guys’ hotel room. I knocked on their door. “Room service.”

“We didn’t order anything.”

“Let me in.”

“Hey Ashton.”

“It’s time to go. We are meeting everyone else in the lobby.”

“Cool. I’m so excited about this.” Nick blabbered.

Quickly, we walked to the elevator. Nick and Alex were taking their good old time.”Let’s go boys. We’re going to be late.”

“You sure are bossy.” Alex teased me.

“Yeah, we can walk down the hall on our own.” Nick laughed. I turned around and gave them both a look.  Alex started to laugh.

“Apparently you can’t or Alex’s mom wouldn’t have asked me to babysit you.” I smiled and pressed the button. Alex flipped me the middle finger. I chose to ignore him.

Everyone was in the lobby waiting for us. We went outside to catch the van.

The studio was huge. I had never been in a recording studio before. It was interesting to see all the equipment, instruments, and rooms. All the boys were wide-eyed and chatty. They couldn’t stop talking about everything they saw. The boys were ushered in with the songwriters and producers. Denise and sat in the lounge going over some business.

“So they are going to be recording three songs for the two weeks we are in Sweden. They are scheduled to work from eight to eight. They will have some time to relax and see some of the sights.”

“Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“Kevin and Howie are responsible. I want you to make sure Alex, Brian, and Nick are on time for everything. Alex won’t even realize you are babysitting him. Just keep them on track with everything that is going on. If the producers need anything, just do it.”

“Tomorrow I have a meeting with Lou, so you will stay here and be in charge of the guys. Basically just keep them in line and productive.”

“Sounds easy enough.”

Denise and I sat around for a few hours. The boys were busy singing.

“Mom, I’m soooo tired.” Alex flopped onto the couch by his mom.

“How much longer are you working?’

“As soon as Nick gets his part right, we can leave. He’s having trouble because he’s never had to sing in a studio. I think he’s nervous.”

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Everyone but Nick and I plowed into the elevator. We both quietly waited for the next one to arrive. I looked at Nick, but when he glanced at me I put my head down.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“No. I’m just tired.”

“Okay.’ He smiled at me. The doors slid open. “You first.”

“Thanks.” I smiled at him. I pressed the button for the ground floor.  

Nick and I looked at each other. He moved closer to me. I licked my lips knowing that he was going to kiss me. Nick awkwardly put his mouth on mine. He kissed me slowly, putting a little pressure on my lips. It felt nice. I liked kissing him and felt that flutter I had at his birthday party. We continued kissing until we heard the elevator ding. Nick pulled away and moved far away from me. We smiled at each other as the door opened.

In the van, I pulled out my journal. I needed to get my thoughts off my chest. I was confused.

            I LIKE NICK CARTER!!!! I finally understand what is going on between Nick and I. I like him. I think he likes me. Today he kissed me for no reason. I liked it when he kissed me. It made me feel special and pretty. A boy actually likes me. I don’t find him as repulsive as I did this morning. He’s really not that bad. Nick is kind of sweet when he’s not whining or complaining. I think he might like me because he kissed me. I’m not certain because some boys kiss girls they don’t like just because they like to kiss.

            Does Nick like me? Now I have to worry about him liking me. What can I do to get him to like me? Who can help me? Oh crap, I can’t tell anyone. Kevin would kill Nick. Alex would tease me. Brian is Nick’s friend. He might tell. Maybe I can tell Howie. I think he would keep quiet. Ahh, I want to share it with someone and I can’t. I think I will give it sometime before I do anything.

 I’ll wait and see if Nick shows any signs that he likes me. So this is what it feels like to be in love. I’m feeling giddy, like I could giggle and smile at everything and anything. I have to keep it hidden I don’t want anyone to know. This love thing is soooooo hard.