“Ashton are you excited about going on tour this summer?” Nia asked me as she made potato salad. Kevin and Nia were having a cookout for everyone.

“Yeah. It should be fun.”

“Have you met Nick’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah. She threatened me about Nick.”

“Really. That girl is afraid that he’ll want you back. I can’t say I blame her.” Nia smiled at me.

“I don’t want him back. He had his chance and blew it.”

“Ashton that was two years ago.  He grew up and matured. I think you should give him another chance.”

The doorbell rang and I ran to the door to get it. I opened the door, Nick and Kalla stood there all over each other.

“Excuse me.”

“Oh we’re sorry.” Nick replied and pushed passed me. Kalla gave me the death look and followed Nick.

I stood there in shock. I didn’t expect Nick to be my best friend, but I thought he could at least be civil towards me.

“Hey Ashton. What’s wrong?” AJ noticed something was not right with me.

“It’s nothing. Nick is just being a jerk.”

“Well that’s nothing new especially with Kalla around. I can’t believe he would treat you like that.”

“He’s moved on. I should, too.”

---------------------------

The cookout was in full swing. The guys were relaxing. Nia and I were getting the food ready. Kevin was grilling. Nick and Kalla were practically doing it in front of everyone. I thought it was disgusting. Nick seemed to be enjoying it.

I placed the bowl of pasta salad on the table and sat down.

“Yuck. That is so gross.” I pointed to Nick and Kalla. She was sitting on his laps. His hands were under her shirt.

“That’s all they do. It’s even worse today.” Brian complained.

“I think Kalla is trying to show off in front you. She wants to make you jealous.” AJ remarked.

“That’s stupid. I’m over Nick. I don’t care who he dates. We were together two years ago.”

“Well apparently, he called out your name the first time they had sex. She was pissed.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. I had always envisioned my first time with Nick. No wonder Kalla hated me. Did Nick still care about me?

“Ashy, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I lied. I felt my heart breaking once again. It really shouldn’t have mattered. Nick didn’t belong to me. He was allowed to date and do whatever he wanted.

“Have you been dating?”

“I dated a few guys in Kentucky. Nothing serious. A few dates here and there.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.” My thoughts were on Nick. I thought I was over him, but now I wasn’t so sure. Seeing him with another woman hurt me. I wanted to be the one kissing and making love to him. Unfortunately he was with someone, I had to move on.

“So who’s up for some swimming?” Brian announced.

“I am.” I left to get changed.

When I walked outside everyone was in the pool except Kalla and Nick. I was wearing a dark green one piece bathing suit. Nick’s mouth dropped. I smiled at him and continued walking to the pool.

“Wow.” He muttered. Kalla smacked him in the chest.

“Close your mouth. She’s not that hot. She practically covered up like a nun.” She kissed Nick. He got up and went over to the pool.

“Hey Frack.”

“Hi Frick.” Nick couldn’t stop looking at me. I made it a point to ignore him.

“Stop staring at her. You’re gonna piss your girlfriend off.”

“Whatever. God, she’s beautiful.” Nick didn’t take his eyes off of me.

I swam over to Alex. He picked me up and dunked me.

“Alex, stop it.” I giggled.

“Never.” He dunked me again. I came from underneath the water and jumped on his back.

Nick was glaring at Alex and me. I gave him a smile and continued to annoy Alex.

“What’s wrong Nick?”

“Nothing.” He answered with a clenched jaw.

“You seem upset.”

“Brian, I’m fine. Leave me the hell alone.” Nick jumped out of the pool. He found Kalla, got his car keys, and left.

I swam over to Brian. “What’s his problem?” I asked.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You came prancing out in the bathing suit and he couldn’t handle it.” I laughed at Brian’s comment.

“This bathing suit isn’t exactly on the sexy list.”

“To you it’s not sexy, but to a guy it is. He can see every curve of your body. He hasn’t seen you for two years. You’re all woman now. You shocked him.”

“Did he think I was going to stay fifteen forever? He shouldn’t even be looking my way. He has a girlfriend.”

“Men look regardless. You know nothing about men. You’re sexy without trying to be sexy.” AJ replied.

“Really?”

“Yes, cousin you are. Then when you were playing around with AJ here, Nick was jealous.”

“Oh my. I don’t even like Alex that way.”

“We know that. Nick knows that, but seeing you touching and flirting with him made Nick jealous.”

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            Men, I can’t figure them out. Apparently Nick thinks I’m sexy as hell and is jealous of the attention I give Alex. Yuck. I love Alex, but not in that way. I’m the one suppose to be jealous of Nick and his relationship with Kalla. I don’t like her, but I’m not going to ruin his relationship with her. I’m not that kind of girl. I’ll admit I wish I was still with him. I realized the moment I saw him again. He is everything I want in a man. He always made me feel complete. The last two years I have felt a void without him in my life.

            I can’t believe they are sleeping together. I want both our first times to be together. Geesh, I am such a dreamer. Well now the fairytale is officially over. I need to move on. Kalla and Nick seem to be in love, so I imagine they will be together a long time. I can’t bear to watch that…I’m moving on.

            I talked to Sage tonight. She is going to hooking me up with one of her boyfriend’s friends. This should be fun. I can’t wait to make Nick jealous. That sounds horrible like I’m only dating this guy to make Nick jealous. I would never do that. It wouldn’t be fair to the guy. Making Nick jealous is just an added bonus. I sound like a nasty person, I’m really not. I’m just confused and jealous myself.

            As my mom always, “Everything will work out how it should in the end.”