Sitting in bed eating ice cream was all I had managed to do the last few days. Pete wouldn’t answer any of my calls. I knew he was upset, but I thought we could work it out.  I was confused about this whole situation. I loved Nick, but the way he treated me was uncalled for. I attempted to be civil to him, and all I got in return was insults. He didn’t want to be with me, but he felt the need to kiss me like we were lovers.

Sage walked into my room at sat down at my desk.

“Has Pete talked to you yet? “

“No. I think it’s over between us. He thinks I purposely kissed Nick back.” I sighed. I was frustrated.

“Did you?” I looked at her like she grew six heads.

“NO!! He held my wrists so I couldn’t move. I tried fighting him, but he was relentless about this kiss.”

“You’re feisty enough when it comes to insults. Why couldn’t you just knee him in the balls? I think you liked it more than you’re letting on.”

“Thanks a lot. You think I’m a cold hearted bitch that enjoys ruining her relationship because she liked the way her ex-boyfriend kissed her.” I huffed. Sage was making me mad.

“See you just admitted it. You liked the feel of Nick’s lips on yours.”

“Fine. I liked it. Nick just does something to me. I can’t explain it.”

“Hey I’m not judging you. As your best friend, I want you to be happy. If you had to choose, which would it be Pete or Nick?” She asked curiously.

“Well…umm… Pete is a great guy. He’s funny, handsome, sensitive, caring. I could talk to him about anything and he would listen. Most guys don’t like all that talking crap, but he would listen and talk about all kinds of relationship things. He never made me feel stupid. Nick was my first love. I had so many first moments with him. He’s consumed so many years of my life that I can’t see my life without him. His kisses send chills down my spine and make me think naughty things. Even though we fight all the time, I find it sexy. What I feel for Nick, I’ve never felt about anyone else.” I explained trying to make some sense about how I was feeling.

“It’s that feeling that no other man matters except him. It’s like going through the motions. I feel the same way about Marc.”

“That is exactly how I feel, but after the things Nick said about me, I don’t know if I could ever forgive him.”

“AJ told me that he called you a frigid bitch. That was wrong.”

“I know. He only said it to Pete to make me mad. Nick was successful in hurting my feelings. If he cares about me so much, why would he stoop so low?”

“He knew the kiss would upset Pete. I’m sure he found out about the whole cheating conversation you had with Pete. I remember you telling AJ about it. Nick wants you or he wouldn’t have broken you and Pete up. Being the typical man, he wants his cake and to eat it too. He’s getting some from skank ho, but he wants a real relationship with you. You are all substance and she’s all sex. You need to find a way to sex yourself up around him.”

“But that’s not me. I’m Miss Pure and Innocent. I’m never going to be as sexual as Kalla.” I groaned.

“I think there’s a sex goddess hiding somewhere inside that innocent act you put on. You are so feisty about everything. That will come out in bed.” Sage laughed. I smiled. I hoped one day Nick would be able to see me as a sex goddess.

-----------------

After my talk with Sage the other day, I felt better. I realized that my relationship with Pete would have never moved any further. Yes, I liked him, but I think we were more like friends. He only proved to me how much I truly loved Nick.

The weather was sunny and warm. I decided to take a walk on the beach. I watched the waves crash along the beach. The seagulls were flying around. I had never seen such a beautiful day. My mind was is a daze. I didn’t see the storm clouds in the sky. The sky opened up and rain fell down. It was pouring so hard I wasn’t able to see a thing.  There was no way I could make it to the dorm. I saw a house in the distance. Maybe someone would be home. I ran as fast as I could in the hard wet sand. It seemed like I was going no where. About five minutes later, I took the steps to the porch of the house.

I knocked on the door. Nobody answered the doors. I stood in the cold rain, praying someone would be home. I pounded on the door again and waited. I saw a light turn on. Someone was home. I knocked even louder. The door finally opened.

“Ashton.”

“Nick.”

“Ashton, what are you doing in the rain?” He asked.

“I was taking a walk and it start to pour.” I answered as I stood in the rain. We were both silent for a moment. “Can I come in? I don’t want to stand in the rain.”

“Sure.” I walked past him and stood in his kitchen.

My clothes were soaked and clung to my body. My hair was stuck to my head. I was a sight for sore eyes. I started to shiver because the air condition was cranked very high. Nick looked at me but didn’t say anything.

“Do you have any towels I could dry off with?” I asked him. I didn’t want to be wet anymore.

“Yeah. Let me go get them. I’ll be back in a few.” He walked away and left me standing alone in his kitchen.