A week had passed and still no word from Nick. I guess he was truly mad at me. Unfortunately I did not have a phone number to reach him. It sucked not being able to talk to him at all. I hoped that he was okay in Sweden. I was worried about him.

I sat on my bed studying for my teaching foundations course. My thoughts were not on philosophies of education.

“Ashton, you have a phone call.” Sage yelled into my room.

“Thanks, I got it.” I quickly picked up the phone. “Hello.”

“Hey Ashy.”

“Nick. I’ve missed your voice.”

“Oh, baby girl. I miss you so much. What have you been up to?”

“Not much. How’s recording?”

“It’s okay.”

He seemed so distant. I couldn’t stand the small talk. I felt like I was talking to someone I barely knew.

“Really? I thought you would be more excited about it. This is your dream.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. Things were strained between us. I was uncomfortable, and I could tell he was, also.

“Nick…what’s wrong? You are acting strange. Are you still mad at me?”

“Nothing’s wrong? I’m tired. Recording is a long and tedious process. Can’t we forget about that fight? It was silly.” He said testily.

“Watch the attitude. I didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sorry your life sucks at the moment. My life isn’t so peachy either. I can’t forget the way you treated me. It hurts when you act like you don’t care about me.”

“Why are you being such a bitch? I didn’t mean to get snippy with you that night, but I was stressed. Our schedules are so hectic, and I never get to see you. I miss being with you.”

“Nickolas, I’m not being a bitch. I’m just trying to say our relationship is important, and we have to talk about our problems. You may want to brush it under the carpet, but it won’t go away. Nick, we knew our schedules were going to be crazy. What happens when you get famous and tour the world, I’m not always going to be there at your side. I want to pursue my dreams and live my life, too.”

“I’m sorry that I like spending time with my girlfriend. I know you want to pursue your dreams. I don’t expect you to be by my side at all. In fact, maybe we shouldn’t be together at all.”

“Nick that’s not what I was saying. You don’t listen. I just want you to respect my dreams. I miss being with you, but we need to learn to work on being separated. You couldn’t even tell me you were going to Sweden. If I didn’t call you that night, you would have left without a word. I can’t believe you acted like that. How long did you know about Sweden?” I yelled.

“Why are you making me out to be the asshole? Fine, I knew since I came back from Canada. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I knew it would upset you, and we hardly spent any time together. You are busy with school and work.” He whispered.

“You are an ass, Nick. You act like I’m a fragile butterfly. Sure I would be sad you were going to Sweden, but I understand. I would miss you no matter what. It’s like you don’t even know me.”

“I can’t deal with you anymore. I’m getting shit on by Kevin. AJ’s been bugging me. Now, I wanted to hear your voice and talk to you. All you want to do is fight. I’m calling your internationally and spending a fortune to get yelled at. I can’t take it. I’ve got to go.”

“Don’t hang up.” He had already disconnected.

This is not how I wanted my conversation to go with Nick. Instead of things getting better, they were even worse.

I threw my book and highlighter across the room. It land by the wall with a thud. I crawled under the covers and cried myself to sleep.

--------------------------------

Nick sat on the couch looking extremely pissed.

“You ready to record the next song?” Kevin asked.

“As ready as ever.” Nick plastered a fake smile on his face.

They walked into the sound booth. Howie passed out the lyrics. Nick read them and felt like running away. He did not want to sing  this song. His chest felt tight, and he knew the tears were going to fall. He couldn’t cry in front of the guys. He listened to the other guys sing their parts. The chorus was coming up.

“I’ll never break your heart. I'll never make you cry. I'd rather die than live without you.” Nick stopped singing and ran out.

Kevin took off his head phones and went to find Nick. He walked around the studio and found him outside.

“Nick, why did you run out?”

“Kev, leave me alone.”

“Are you having girl troubles?” Kevin sat next to him.

“Maybe.” He started wiping the tears of his face, so Kevin wouldn’t see. Nick didn’t want Kevin to think he was a baby.

“You can talk to me about, unless it’s about your sex life. I don’t ever want to hear about that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling you about my sex life. Ashton and I had a fight before we left. I was afraid to call her, but I finally broke down and called. She wasn’t even happy I called. All she wanted to do was talk about our fight.”

“One word of advice, women love to talk and analyze every part of the relationship. Sometimes it’s just easier to talk about it and move on. Ashton doesn’t forget easily.”

“I can admit I was a jerk. We went from spending all our time together, to spending no time together. I can’t take not seeing her. Then she’s all about how she can’t spend all her time with me because she has her own dreams. I know she has dreams, and I’m proud of her. She just made me madder.”

“Nick, this is normal. You are charting new territory in your relationship. You both love each other more than anyone I know. You annoy us all with your relationship. Ashton has a hard time with change. She’s been through a lot and she’s gets defensive when things change. You’re going to have to talk with her about things. That is how she processes things.  If not, it’s never going to work.”

“I’m such a jerk.” Nick punched the wall.

“Stop. You don’t have to hurt yourself because you acted foolishly. Ashton loves you. Right now you are both frustrated with the current situation in your life.  Give her time to calm her temper. Call her tomorrow and discuss your problems. Get used to this; it’s not going to get any easier. Just ask any guy.”