I sat in the pew waiting for the rest of the wedding party to arrive. Why was everyone always late? Impatiently I stood up and looked around the church. I saw Nick sitting with his head down in the back pew. He appeared to be praying. Anguish and sadness covered his face. I had never seen him look this way. My heart broke for him, but I was sticking to my guns and not talking to him.

“Let’s get the par-tay started.” AJ yelled through the sanctuary.

“Alex, this is a place of worship. There’s no need for screaming.” I hissed at him.

“Sorry. What’s up with Nicky?” He whispered in my ear.

“Don’t know and don’t care.”

“You’re a liar.”

“No, I’m just trying to get over him.”

“That will never happen. He loves you. You love him. I can’t wait until your wedding.” I rolled me eyes at Alex.

Within minutes everyone arrived, including the minister. Nia and her mother quickly shuffled all of us together in the narthex. Everyone found their partners except me and Nick. We stood there trying to ignore each other for as long as possible.

“Ashton where’s your usher? Go find him.” Nia’s mother pushed me along.

I quickly walked over to Nick. He wouldn’t even look at me. I still felt awful about my outburst at the club. I knew I hurt his feelings, but he made me so frustrated.

“Everyone is going to walk slowly down the isle. Nick and Ashton will be the first to go down the aisle. Then the rest of the bridesmaids will follow. After that the best men and maid of honors, and finally Nia will come down.”

The organist started to play the music. Nick stood as far away from me as possible.

“Nick you have to stand a little closer to me. We have to do this for Kevin. Just pretend you want to me near me.” I whispered.

“I don’t need to pretend.” Chills ran down my spine. He moved closer to me.

--------------------------------------

“Thanks to everyone for being here for one of the most important moments in my life. I have never been more in love with anyone. Nia, you are everything I ever needed and more. I will love you always. I wish all of you the joy and happiness I have found with Nia. True love really does exist.”  Kevin toasted to his future wife.

I couldn’t take any more of this mushy gushy love. I was happy for my brother, but I didn’t want anything to do with love or romance. I quickly exited the room.

The air outside was chilly. I shivered in my sundress. I looked at the sky deep in thought.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Mom, I can’t get over him. My heart aches for him.”

“Give it time. You are both so young. If it’s meant to be, it will work out. My heart tells me that you belong together. You fell hard and fast for him. Then you rushed your relationship.”

“I know. I’m afraid things won’t work out. I gave him back the ring.”

“Do you think that was the right thing to do?” Ann asked in concern.

“Probably not.  I was so mean to him the other night. He’ll never forgive me.” I sighed.

Ann noticed Nick standing in the doorway. She smiled at him.

“Give him time.” She patted my arm and went back inside.

Nick walked over to where I was standing.

“Oh…you scared me.” I jumped.

“Sorry.”

We stood there quietly for a few minutes. Both of us lost in our thoughts. I didn’t know what to say to him. Nothing seemed appropriate.

“So…umm…what…are your plans for summer?”

“I don’t know yet. I think I might stay with Kevin and Nia. I need to find a job.” I stared at the ground.

“I’m sure Disney’s hiring.”

“Yeah.”

“Why are we making this so hard?” I shrugged my shoulders, but didn’t look at him.

Nick reached over and lifted my chin. He looked me directly in the eye.

“Ashton.”

“Nick.”

“I don’t know what to say to you.”

“I can’t give you the words to say Nick.”

“I know.” He barely murmured.

“You’ve changed. You’re not the Nick I know.”

“I can say the same about you. You’ve changed just as much as I have.” He got defensive.

“What was up at the church today before everyone got there?” I wanted to know what was going on with him.

“I was talking to God. I thought he could help me figure out a way to fix this mess we’re in.” His blue eyes pierced through mine. Nick was so serious it terrified me.

“Did he give you an answer?”

“Nothing yet.” He took my hands in his. My heart started to race at his touch. “All I know is I need and want you.”

He moved closer to me. I felt his breath on my face.

“No Nick. I can’t let this happen. We can’t just move on and pretend nothing happened.” I let go of his hands and backed up.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why do you have to harp on me about this? You didn’t ever let me finish what I was going to say.” He huffed.

“Because you never say what needs to be said.”

“That’s because you only want me to say the things you want to hear.” Nick raised his voice.

“Keep it down. You’re going to embarrass us and ruin the night for Kevin and Nia.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Fine. Let’s just go back to your original plan. I’ll be civil to you tomorrow, but after that I won’t talk to you.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” He walked back into the restaurant.

I stood outside. I didn’t want to go back inside and see all that mushy gushy lovey dovey crap. I wish that I could go home and hide under the covers forever.

I took a deep breath. Slowly I walked back into the restaurant.