Chapter 29
Kim sat down in the bus, still shaking as Ash wrapped an oversized towel around her.
“Can I get you a drink?” Ash softly spoke as he hovered over her not really knowing what to do.
Kim stared on in disbelief and shock, still sobbing to herself.
Ash decided he was going to make a drink anyway regardless of if she really wanted it or not.
He flicked the kettle on, and then began preparing two cups as he waited for the kettle to boil. Ash leant over the counter top and inhaled deeply as the sound of Kim’s sobbing filled his head, he could feel the blood pumping around his body as anger consumed him.
Fuckin prick. Ash cursed to himself. I should just march straight over there and knock him out, and then I can take Kim home, far away from the fuckin loser.
The click of the boiled kettle drew Ash from his thoughts; he quickly finished making their drinks then went back over to Kim, squeezing in beside her he placed the cup down on the table.
The pair both sat there quietly for a few minutes as Ash mustered up the courage to speak.
“Look Kim I know this is like the worst thing that could have happened for you at the minute so if you don’t wanna stay I understand OK. I’ll get you outta here as soon as I can.”
Kim looked up to him with her blood shot eyes and shook her head.
“I wanna stay.” She quietly mumbled.
“Are you sure that’s the best thing to do Kim? You’ve been through an awful lot these past few months; I wouldn’t want this to break you.” Ash placed his arm around Kim and rubbed her shoulder.
Wiping her face with her sleeve, she sniffed and shook her head again.
“No, I wanna stay. I’ll be fine in a bit; it was just the initial shock. I can carry on Ash, I promise, please don’t send me back, it’ll drive me mad if I’m stuck at home.” Her face pleaded with Ash as fresh tears began to fall.
Ash pulled her in tight and hugged her with all his might. “I could kill him for this; I told you he was bad news.”
Not needing another ‘I told you so’ lecture Kim buried her head into Ash’s chest and kept quiet. Ash gently stroked Kim’s hair as the two sat there in silence listening to the heavy downpour outside.
Ash’s radio began to crackle, and then three different voices came through, one after the other wanting to know where he was.
“Ash I’ll be fine here, you need to get back to work though else your get yourself in trouble.” Kim whispered between sobs.
“I can’t just leave you here like this on your own.”
“I don’t need a babysitter Ash! I’m a big girl who made a silly mistake now I have to get on with it.” Kim instantly snapped.
Knowing she was in pain and angry ash let her outburst fly over his head. “OK, I’ll let you have some space then and I’ll be back to check in with ya as soon as I get a free minute.”
Kim nodded her head. “Kay, I’ll just take a shower and sort myself out then I’ll get back to work.”
Ash raised his eyebrows in disbelief at what he just heard. “Errr, I don’t think so Kim, speaking as your boss now, I’m telling you, you need to take the rest of the day off and if I catch you in there I’ll say you’re sick with some majorly contagious bug so you’ll be made by higher up than me to take the rest of the week off!”
Kim gave him a dirty look and barged past as she made her way down to the sleeping area, slamming the door shut behind her.
Ash took a deep breath and let it go. “Women!” He huffed as he sullenly grabbed a coat and left the bus.
“ERGH, MEN!” Kim screamed as she threw herself onto her bunk. She sat there in silence shivering as her damp clothes clung to her skin.
“Great, next thing I’ll end up with phenomena.” Kim screwed her face up, the pain in her broken heart was fast tuning into a venomous rage.
She shot up from the bed ready to go take a warm shower, as she did she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She looked like a drowned rat; hatred filled her eyes as she stared at the figure in the mirror.
“For fuck’s sake.” She loudly cursed, then turned away and stormed out of the sleeping area.
40minutes later she emerged from the steamy shower cupboard, her eyes were still blurry, as she had cried again. Her head was pounding from the tension of crying so much, reaching her room she sat on the bunk, she knew if she took a nap she would feel better but she was to restless to stay still, so she quickly dried herself off and pulled out some clean underwear, jeans and a top. Throwing her hair up into a messy bun and applying a little make up to hide the blemishes from all the crying, Kim decided she needed to get away for a couple of hours.
It wasn’t too far to get to the shops and Kim thought the walk would do her good so she grabbed her parker off the peg and got her purse, then disappeared off the bus and out onto the streets of Tokyo.
Ash wondered around the arena, not really taking in anything that was going on or what was being said, all he could think about was Kim sitting on the bus alone crying.
I should be there with her. He kept telling himself.
Ash plodded over to the sound desk and checked his watch; there was about 40 minutes until he had to back for sound check.
“Yoshi, everything OK here?” Ash shouted over the sound desk to a tall, young person.
“Yes, Ash, everything is fine, no problems.” Yoshi smiled back.
“Good, I’m just gunna pop back to the bus for a few minutes then. I’ll be back before sound check starts
OK?”
“Yes, Yes. You go. I’m fine, thank you.”
Ash smiled as he jumped down from the small platform. He ran through a set of exit doors and across the car park to Kim’s bus.
“Hey, how you doing?” Ash shouted down the bus as a gust of wind blew the door shut behind him.
The bus was in silence.
“Kim its Ash, you OK?” He shouted out again, but still no answer.
Maybe she’s asleep? He said to himself as he made his way to the other end of the bus. He gently pushed the bedroom door open but it was empty inside. Looking a little confused, he shouted out again.
“Kim its Ash where are ya?” still nothing.
Ash quickly looked around for some kind of clue as to where she could be, but nothing pointed him in the right direction.
“I swear, if she’s gone back over to work after I specifically told her not to, I’m gunna put her on a plane home myself.” Ash huffed as he jumped out of the bus and jogged back over to the arena.
Ash marched around it looking for her for a good 30 minutes, as he finished his fourth lap he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“You lost something?”
Ash turned to see a clean-shaven Justin.
“Dude, how are you?” Ash smiled as he and Justin playfully shook hands. “Good Christmas?” Ash asked.
“Yeah, yeah it was pretty epic, to be honest. How bout you?” Justin nodded his head in pleasure.
Ash’s face instantly curled up at the question. “To be fair, I’ve had better.”
“Really? What’s happened?” Justin asked concerned.
Not wanting to say too much, Ash tried to change the subject. “Ah you know, just one those ones. So you all set, glad to be back on the road?”
“I guess so, so what you looking for? I watched you pace this place for ages now.” Justin laughed.
“Oh, I can’t find Kim anywhere. She seems to have gone AWOL.”
“Oh wow, she came? We didn’t think she would.”
“What do you mean?” Ash quizzed. “Why would she not come?”
“Well cause her and Nick are over.” Justin paused. “She does know their over right? Cause he’s brought a new girlfriend with him.” Panic began to set in as Justin thought he had said too much.
Ash shook his head. “Yeah she def knows it’s over. Fuckin dick that boy is.”
“So what happened between them? I mean it must have been something really bad cause Nick was a mess for weeks, I’m talking proper heart ripped out his chest mess.” Justin animatedly explained to Ash.
“What?” Very confused Ash looked at Justin as if he had grown a second head.
“Yeah, seriously the boy was a wreck.”
Ash shook his head frantically as he interrupted Justin. “What?”
“So what happened between them?” Justin continued completely oblivious to Ash’s confusion.
“Nick won’t tell us anything, but like I said he was out of it man.”
“I don’t get why he was so ‘cut up’ it was his entire fault.” Ash blurted out.
Justin shook his head. “Woo it gets crazier man, someone must have done something bad. Kim really not told you anything?”
“Yeah, but.” Ash began to stutter as his head swirled.
“Look, I dunno man, if you do see Kim around tell her I need to speak with her, this is crazy. I gotta go sound check is due to start any minute.”
“Oh shit yeah sound check.” Justin laughed. “No probs bro, I’ll keep my peepers open for her. I gotta go too; girls will be sprouting hairs n stuff from waiting.”
Ash laughed as Justin skipped off to usher the crowds in.
Ash scratched his head as he tried to make sense of Justin’s words. As he made his way over to the sound desk he pulled his phone from his pocket and called Kim but it went straight to voice mail.
Ash spent the whole of sound check either texting or phoning Kim trying desperately to get hold of her, but it was no good. The sound check was very lively, the boys were on form whipping the crowd up into frenzy, each time ash heard Nick speak it made his blood boil, and he could not bring himself to look up at the stage yet, through fear any eye contact from Nick could send him over board.
As soon as sound check finished Ash left the building and ran back over to the bus desperately hoping that Kim would be in there.
Once on board he scanned the bus but there was still no sign of her, he was getting a little worried now and he could go running around the place causing a scene as it could get them both in trouble.
He left the bus to go for a cigarette and tried to rack his brains as to where she could be, and then his heart sank at the thought of her going off site on her own, in a huge city she never knew, anything could happen to her.
He threw his half, smoked cigarette on the floor and rushed off back into the arena to look for Yoshi.
“Yoshi, Yoshi.” Ash called out.
“Yes, I am here.” The faint sound of Yoshi’s voice came from behind the sound desk.
“Oh good, Yoshi, I need a favour. I think Kim has gone off into the city and I don’t know my way around to find her. Could you have a look around some places you know and see if you can find her please? I’m really worried she will get lost on her own.” Ash desperately pleaded with Yoshi.
“Yes, yes of course I will go and look, Ash. It is a very big place though but I will check the main tourist route for you.”
“Oh thank you Yoshi, it’ll mean a lot. Take Jun with you OK and I’ll cover you both.” Ash panted.
“Yes, we will go now. Do not worry Ash, we will find her.”
Ash sighed as he watched Yoshi rush off to get Jun and find Kim.
The time moved slowly as Ash waited for any news on Kim, he tried to keep busy but he felt sick to the stomach that she was out there alone and it was now dark.
I should never have left her. He told himself off repeatedly.
It was not long until the start of the show; Ash had no Kim and was down two technicians.
I guess I had better go tell someone I have three missing people on my hands. Ash sighed.
Just then, Yoshi appeared at the door looking flustered and out of breath.
“We came back for show, but we could not find Kim anywhere. We’re sorry Ash; we looked everywhere we could think of.”
Ash smiled gratefully. “Thanks guy’s, I really appreciate it. Look I’ll get you both started off then I’ll have to go and report her missing to someone.”
“We’re very sorry; we tried hard to find her.” Yoshi still panted.
“Don’t worry guy’s it’s not your fault, you done well to try and the main thing is you came back in time for work.”
Ash made sure the guy’s we’re ok with the job then headed out the back of the arena to go and report Kim missing.
As he plodded through the dark car park, he could see a figure staggering about in the distance.
He instantly ran over in the hope that it would be Kim and to his relief it was. He threw his arms around her and squeezed her as hard as he could.
“You fuckin bell end. Where the fuck have, you been? I’ve been worried fuckin sick about you, I was just about to call the police and report you missing.” Ash was almost crying with relief as he scolded Kim.
“Seriously Kim what the fuck are you trying to do to me? I swear I’ve gone grey over the last 6 hours.”
Totally oblivious to the trouble she could have caused or the worry she had put Ash through, Kim continued to sway about, telling Ash to ‘Ssssshhhhhh’
Ash took a step back. “Kim are you drunk?”
Kim began to giggle ‘Ssssshhhhhh’ she continued.
Ash closed his eyes this was truly turning out to be his worst nightmare.
“Kim, you stupid girl. Why? Why would you take yourself off in a strange city and get off your face drunk like this? Anything could have happened to you. Where’s your phone? I’ve been calling and texting all day.”
Kim just giggled again, as the music seeped through from the inside of the arena Kim began to sing along.
“Ieeee wannnnnn it thata waaaaaaaaaaay, tell me whyeeeeeeeeeee Nick Carter is a dick head, tell me why, he thinks he’s bloody god’s gift, tell me why, Ieeeeee never wanna see him agaaaaaainnnnn ooooh I wan it thaaaata wayeeee.”
Although Ash found her rendition extremely funny, he knew he had to cut her short and get her out of sight before all hell broke loose.
Bundling her up into the bus he noticed she looked really different, her hair was lose and dead straight with a side fringe which sat prettily over her right eye.
“Kim have you cut your hair.” Ash gasped as her once almost waist length hair now sat at her shoulders.
“Yeah you like it?” Kim almost screeched as playfully twirled for Ash.
“Yes it’s very pretty.” Ash smiled as he tried to coax Kim to sit down. “You need to drink some coffee, then have a long sleep.”
“Boooo, I need some more of them nice blue drinks I had earlier and a good old dance.” Kim tried to get up but was intercepted by Ash so she fell back into the seat in a fit of giggles.
A few moments later Ash handed Kim a hot cup of coffee, then sat down next to her.
“Kim you can’t do this, it’s dangerous, I was really worried about you, anything could have happened and I wouldn’t have known.”
“Oh don’t be such a Joy Kill, you need to live a little old timer.” Kim laughed into her cup.
Not rising to Kim’s taunts, Ash took a deep breath.
“Kim I think you should sleep this off, hopefully tomorrow will look better for you.”
Kim felt the sadness return as she looked to Ash for comfort.
“Why did he just ignore me Ash? What did I do that was so bad?”
Ash threw his arm around her and pulled her close to him.
“You didn’t do anything, this is his fault and it’s his loss.”
“Ash, am I that horrible? I just don’t get what I did wrong?”
Ash let out a heavy sigh; he placed a finger under Kim’s chin and tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes.
“Kim listen to me OK, you did absolutely nothing wrong and Nick Carter is the biggest dumbass I have ever come across, to let someone as sweet and funny and caring and beautiful as you go, well he didn’t deserve you in the first place did he?”
A single tear fell from Kim’s cheek as she let out a tiny smile. Ash gently wiped it from her cheek, then without thinking, Kim lifted her head up and pressed her lips onto Ash’s. Slowly parting her lips to deepen the kiss Ash suddenly pulled away.
“What, I’m too good for Nick but not good enough for you?” Kim harshly snapped.
Ash shook his head. “No, no, it’s not like that. I want to, it’s just.”
“It’s just what?” Kim barked feeling a little embarrassed.
Ash stood up and rubbed his face.
“Kim.”
He slowly walked over to the sink and rested on the counter, keeping his back to Kim as he searched for the right words.
“Look, I can’t tell you how many times I watched the way you looked at Nick and just wished it was me you saw, how many times I fantasised about the day you kiss me for the first time, and.” He took a deep breath.
“Kim, if I thought for one minute that you’d wake up with a smile on your face tomorrow because it was me that was lying next to you, then believe me I would be kissing you right now.” Ash turned around to see what reaction was waiting for him as he moved closer to the sofa, he rolled his eyes at the sight of Kim passed out.
“Oh for the love of God.” Ash began to laugh. “You would have to fall asleep now wouldn’t ya.” He shook his head as he bent down next to her, he threw a blanket over her and gently kissed the top of her head.
“I love you.” He whispered before creeping out of the bus and heading back over to the arena to catch the end of the show.
Chapter End Notes:
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