AJ was holding an index card and sitting on a stool on the otherwise vacated bus. Nick stood a couple feet away holding the camera. “Are you sure we’re the only ones on here?” he asked, glancing at the window. Brian was just outside, playing in the parking lot with Baylee in front of a throng of fans, who were being kept at bay by security barricades. He wasn’t quite sure where Howie was, though.
“Yeah, Nick, I’m sure. For the hundreth time, Howie’s inside.” He looked down at the index card and smirked. Nick hadn’t seen it yet.
“Okay, fine.” Nick switched on the camera, “So you got the suggestion right? The one about the prank on Brian?” he smirked.
AJ glanced at the card again, “Oh I got the suggestion all right.”
Satisfied – not noticing the guilt and humor in AJ’s voice – Nick flicked on the camera and aimed it at AJ, who waited for the red light.. Nick muttered, “Okay, you’re live in the fanclub video hub in 3…2.. 1…”
“Yo, yo, yo, all you fans out there, this is AJ from the Backstreet Boys, and I’m here to introduce you to the next dare on ‘We’ll Do Anything (With Clothes On)’. We got a lot of really great suggestions this go-‘round and it took us awhile to make our final choice, but I think the one that I’ve got here is a GREAT one, and I’m looking forward to making it happen.”
Off camera, Nick giggled. The computer to AJ’s left displayed the official fan club, AJ’s face live on screen, the chatroom going beyond beserk.
AJ smirked. “Okay, so this week’s suggestion comes from lilstar99, who wrote in, ‘I dare Nick and AJ to act out this one scene from Shakespeare—‘”
Nick’s eyes widened, “WHAT? Dude! AJ!... AJ!” Nick waved his hand, making the camera wobble a little.
“---from Romeo and Juliet. With costumes on, AJ will be Romeo and Nick will be the chick.’” He laughed as Nick palm-faced his forehead and went back to holding the camera straight. “And she puts in some stipulations here, you ready fans? Okay, she says that we have to use a balcony, and it has to look real…. Soooo, she wants Nick in a dress.”
“I am SO not wearing a dress,” Nick hissed from off camera.
“Hey, Nick, you said you’d do ANYTHING,” AJ laughed, his smile spreading across his face even wider than it’d been before, “And a dress IS clothes,” he added, seeing Nick about to say ‘yeah, but with clothes on!’
Nick’s mouth flopped around helplessly, finally he spat, “DUDE WHY CAN’T AJ BE THE GIRL????”
“Cos you’re pretty,” AJ said. The fan club chat screen was off the charts, there was no way in hell anyone could’ve read it as the comments flew up the screen faster than they even pixilated all the way. AJ laughed, “I think the fans like the idea.”
Nick sighed, “Of coooourse they do.”
Howie was coming back to the bus, when a fan intercepted him. “Oh my God, that video the other day was sooo funny, Howie,” she gushed.
After filming what they needed to film, Nick and AJ had quickly gotten Howie down from the wall and repositioned him on the bed so that he woke up in a natural position. He’d been confused when he woke up around noon time with Nick asking him twenty questions about how his sleep had been – Nick had been nervous about Howie’s reaction to the Ambien CR after AJ had pointed out how it effected different people differently – but other than that, he’d had no clue that there had been anything strange afloat at the Circle K, to quote Bill and Ted.
So now, having the video mentioned to him, he had no freaking idea what she was talking about. He blinked at her, unsure what video she’d seen. Did the psycho not understand that not everything on YouTube was live? He smiled, “Uh, thanks.”
“I can’t believe you let Nick and AJ do that,” she giggled, touching his arm as she laughed. “You’re so funny, and oh my God, I really thought you were asleep when I watched it! You kept such a straight face.”
Howie squinted at her, wondering now what the hell she was talking about, “Yeah, well, you know. Latino roots, they run deep in the acting…” he smiled, “I gotta go sweetie, enjoy the show.” He bolted for the bus.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Brian asked as Howie ran past him to the bus door.
“I gotta talk to the peanut gallery,” Howie replied, hopping on board the bus. Nick was kneeling and just zipping up the bag the camera belonged in when he busted through the door. “What are you guys doing?!” he asked, voice pinched in panic. Nick looked at AJ.
“WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!” Nick yelled.
At the same time, AJ yelled, “WE’RE SITTING ON THE BUS!”
Nick paused, realizing he’d done it again, then said, “WE AREN’T DOING ANYTHING WITH YOU!”
Howie blinked. “What?”
Nick nodded, “Yeah, we’ve been sitting here, on the bus, we definitely have NOT done ANYTHING with you all day, Howie! That’s a shame!” He leaped to his feet as AJ palm-faced and dragged his hand down to his neck.
Howie paused, looking the two over. AJ waited for the Latin fury to begin, for the questions, the yelling, the lame ass excuses coming out of Nick’s obnoxious, secret-slipping mouth…. Then Howie said, “Dude that IS a shame! We should all do something together!”
Howie bolted forward to hug Nick, who hugged him back and said, “YEAH WE SHOULD!” really loud and gave AJ the thumbs-up sign.
“Okay, kid, look, so all you gotta do is stand RIGHT HERE and hold that camera aiming RIGHT THERE,” AJ pointed at the second floor balcony they’d managed to procure from the hotel. “And if you do it right and don’t tell your dad, we’re gonna give you ten bucks! How’s that sound?” He stared down at Baylee.
“Baylee’s getting a new toy tonight!” he yelled in a voice AJ distinctly remembered teaching him on their way into the Vegas venue two weeks prior.
He pretended to well up and swipe a tear, “Atta boy.”
“Are you ready yet? Jesus, this is really uncomfortable, I wanna get this over with already,” called Nick from inside the hotel room. A fluttering curtain in the open sliding glass doors kept him from view.
Rochelle peeked her head out and looked down at AJ. “Wait ‘til you see him,” she gushed, “He makes a really sexy girl!” She disappeared back inside the room.
AJ looked at Baylee, “Okay, now listen up, you’re gonna have to call the shots on who to aim the camera at. Just make sure you get a really good one of Nick. Remember I told you about the zoom button?”
“Yes!” Baylee yelled a little louder than the situation actually called for.
“Alrighty then.” AJ turned back to the hotel, “Okay we’re ready down here,” he glanced at Baylee and saw the red light that’d been flashing since he handed Baylee the camera. No way in hell was Baylee going to be expected to actually hit the record button – AJ wanted to do this once, and one time only. “ACTION!” AJ yelled.
Nick hesitated. “I still dunno why I freaking hafta be the woman…” Adjusting the balled up winter socks, which Rochelle had stuck into nude-colored nylons to create a cleavage on Nick, he stepped onto the balcony.
AJ almost pissed himself. If he thought he felt ridiculous in his too-tight skinny jeans and black leather jacket that he’d stolen from Howie’s room – bare chested and still sweating in the summer heat – it was absolutely nothing compared to how Nick must’ve felt, and he suddenly felt much, much better about HIS stupid costume.
Nick was wearing one of Rochelle’s sexiest dresses, with sparkly sequins stitched all down it. It just barely covered his ass and junk, in fact his tightie-whities could be seen peeking out the bottom of the dress and he reached down to yank it as low as it could go, twisting his legs around each other, pretzel-like. He was barefoot, and his hairy legs stuck out, looking even longer and slimmer than they did when he wore jeans. He had the blonde, curly wig on that Brian had used for the Sphynkter part of the Just Want You to Know video, and Rochelle had done his make up worse than a two dollar hooker. The best part, though, by far, was the double D-cup balls of socks she’d affixed to the front of his chest, peeking out from the top of the dress like he was Pamela Anderson or something. He strut to the edge of the balcony and leaned against it, running the back of his long, bony fingers across his cheek.
“Soft,” AJ said, trying not to laugh as Baylee aimed the camera at him. What light through yonder window breaks? It is the EAST! And Juliet is the SUN!” He waved his hands toward Nick.
Nick rubbed his hands against his fake boobs. “Dude these things feel kinda nice actually,” he muttered, “Like I know they’re fake, but – How the hell do women keep from doing this all day?”
“Nick, we’re taping you asshole,” AJ yelled. “And Baylee’s our camera man,” he added with a cough.
“SHIT.” Nick’s hands dropped from the fake breasts and he flushed bright red. “I – uh- I- Baylee? What you just saw – it was uh – it was – I really – these… yanno what ,just pretend you didn’t see nothing. Okay?”
“AND JULIET IS THE SUN!” yelled AJ, reminding Nick of the last line he’d said.
“OH, yeah… yeah, right. Okay. Um.” Nick had no fucking idea what the next line was. AJ had told him a million times. Finally he said, “Where on earth is Romeoooo?” in a voice that sounded like a cross between a ten year old country girl and his own twelve year old self.
AJ palm-faced and sighed. “Okay screw being completely accurate,” he muttered, and, just wanting to get this done he yelled, “JULIET…. I AM HERE!” and flung his arm open wide, “I’m here to … to. … to KISS YOU.”
Nick looked down at AJ. He was pretty sure THAT wasn’t a line in Shakespeare. “Um, to kiss me?” he asked. He was also pretty sure THAT wasn’t in the script at all. At least not their version.
“Why yes!” AJ answered, boisterously flinging his arms out towards Nick, “Juliet, I am here… to KISS YOU.” He ran for the hotel and grabbed the fire escape, which luckily happened to run adjacent to the balcony they’d scored. Baylee turned, following AJ with the camera shot as he climbed the fire escape ladder to the level even with Nick, and climbed over the railing. He stretched his hand out and grabbed the rail of Nick’s balcony, three feet away from the one he was balancing on. Nick backed away from the edge, glancing down at the ground as AJ made the jump. Nick closed his eyes, imagining AJ splattering on the grass below, but before he knew it AJ had jumped onto the balcony, landing next to him.
Nick opened his eyes. “Yanno, that was actually a little too easy for you to do,” he said, looking at the fire escape, then the place where AJ had been just a few minutes before on the grass. “Any one couldda done that. I could’ve done that. After we tape this we gotta switch hotel rooms.”
“YOU couldn’t have done that, you would’ve fallen down and broken your frickin---“ AJ glanced down at Baylee, “HERE I AM JULIET,” he yelled.
Baylee zoomed in on them.
“Yes, here you are Romeo.” Nick said, in what he hoped was a day-dreamy voice.
“Now let’s go inside to kiss in private so we don’t have to do it on camera,” AJ added, glancing at Baylee, who was giggling hysterically.
While he was looking the other way, though, Nick had squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed AJ’s face and laid a big fat wet kiss right on his mouth.
AJ jumped back, “WOAH, WOAH, WOAH….. WOAH. What the FUCK are you doing man?!?!” he yelled.
Nick looked blankly at him, “You said you were going to kiss me- and I –“ Nick looked down at Baylee, who was definitely still taping. “God damn it,” he muttered too low for Baylee to hear.
AJ wiped his face, “Shit I need like disinfectant now! You fucking sick bastard!” he ran into the hotel room, leaving Nick on the balcony alone.
Nick shrugged, then remembering the video, he turned and leaned over the balcony, “Okay, everyone, so there we go. Proof we really will do ANYTHING.” He reached down and adjusted himself, as the dress started riding up again and his tightie-whities were starting to peek out once more. He nodded and waved, “So.. I’m a go get out of this dress and help AJ with the disinfectant. Check back soon to see what happens next on –“ one of his fake boobs chose this instant to pop out and fall to the grass below. He shrieked and covered the empty hole where it had been with his hand. Then he looked at the camera again, cracking up, “We’ll Do Anything (With Clothes On). SEE YA!”
He dissolved into laughter. “Okay Baylee,” he yelled, “C’mon upstairs, quick!”
Baylee bolted to do so, eager to get his ten bucks, and Nick stared forlornly at the abandoned sock-boob below. “Damn,” he muttered, “They were nice, too.” And with that, he flounced back into the hotel room, pulling the dress over his junk as he went.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you lilstar99 for posting the dare!
