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Chapter Fourteen - February 27

"I feel guilty leaving you."

"Nick you need to go. Plus, it's only for three days."

I was crouched down on the floor, zipping up two large duffel bags. I was going to meet the guys back in LA to see a mockup of the stage and to go over choreography.

"Plus, if you can't handle three days away from us, what are you going to do when you guys are over in Japan?"

Brian and Howie had always talked about how being away from their wives and kids was the hardest part of touring. I had gotten just a sampling of that when I did my short solo tour. This tour was going to last much longer and I was going to be much farther away. I sighed.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm going to miss everything."

Brooke was standing up clinging to the couch cushion. She was looking between me and Liv, watching our conversation unfold. I smiled over at her.

"Are you going to miss daddy Brooke?"

"Dada!" Brooke said happily.

Then she let go of the couch. I braced myself for her to topple back down on her bottom, but she didn't. I heard Liv gasp behind me (and quickly grab the camera) as Brooke took one tentative step and then another. I was only about four steps away from her. I held out my arms, my heart pounding. She teetered on her next step, but seemed to gather her balance. Three more steps and she was in my arms. I was smiling so hard my face hurt.

"What a big girl!" I said. I held her up over my head. She was smiling happily.

"Good job Brookey!" Liv said. She leaned over and kissed Brooke's forehead.

"Her first steps," I whispered. Liv tapped the camera. "Got it just in time."

I leaned back, setting Brooke down on the floor. The stubborn girl was back on her feet in seconds, trying it again. As Liv sat down and we enjoyed those brand new, tentative steps, I couldn't help but think if I had left this morning that I would have completely missed this moment.

And I knew that no stage or choreography would have been worth missing Brooke's first steps.

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February 28

"The set looks awesome," I said.

"Kev and I were aiming for something different," Howie said.

I walked along the stage. It seemed like a mix of sets from the Millennium, Never Gone, and This is Us tours. Large sweeping ramps ran down both sides while a large staircase leading from an upper platform ran right down the middle. Trapdoors ran along the upper platform allowing for us to drop down for costume changes. The left and right sides of the stage were extended out into the audience. It would be the first time in a long time that we actually got into the crowd.

Brian ran past me to the very edge of the stage where he teetered and began to beat on his chest, yelling like Tarzan. AJ ran up behind him and pushed him. Brian dropped down onto the floor below, landing on his feet.

"NICK!"

I was sitting on the bottom stair. "What?"

Brian turned around. "Oh, I thought you pushed me."

I smiled. "Think again. Blame that one."

I pointed at AJ. He flipped me off and stuck out his tongue.

"Me? I didn't do anything."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Anya walk on stage with Kevin. She clapped her hands over her head.

"Alright guys. Let's run through this today. My goal is by Thursday we can actually do a full on dress rehearsal."

I scrambled to my feet. Our audience members consisted of Addy, Leigh, and James.

"Where's Leigh?" I asked Brian as he came over to take his position on my left.

"Kayleigh's got a cold. She's a human faucet right now. Leigh told Baylee he could come with me but his basketball team's got a game coming up and he's been going over to one of the other boy's houses every day for the last two weeks. I hate to say it, but I think he's growing up."

I laughed. "Yeah, I think you might be right." I tugged in the back of my sneaker. "Brooke started walking yesterday."

"Really?"

I grinned. "Yup. Right to me like she's been doing it all her life."

"A-hem."

Bri and I leaned forward and looked at the other end of the stage. Kev was sandwiched between Howie and AJ. He gave us a little smile that was all business.

"Are you ladies done talking so we can rehearse?" he asked.

Brian grinned and sat down at the end of the stage. He crossed his legs and flipped imaginary hair behind his shoulder.

"So Nickolas, do tell me about that new conditioner you're using."

I laughed. Brian scrambled back to his feet and smiled charmingly at Kevin.

"Okay, I'm ready now."

After doing two tours with only the four of us, it seemed weird to have Kevin running by me on stage. I kept looking over my shoulder in surprise when I caught him in my peripheral vision. It seemed like with the five of us we took up a lot more of the stage. Not in a bad way, but just...different.

We rehearsed for three hours straight. By the time Anya called for break, drops of sweat ran off my nose. Brian was doubled over; his hands on his knees. Kevin hadn't broken a sweat.

"You're not human," I gasped as he walked by me. He turned and geniunely grinned.

"If you hauled hay and mucked stalls you'd be in much better shape."

He flexed and his bicep practically took my eye out.

"I'm putting all of us on a fast food ban right at the start of tour," he continued. "By the time summer rolls around all of us will be lean mean dancing machines."

Howie wiped the back of his neck with his towel and muttered something in Spanish that I didn't understand. I walked backstage and grabbed a fresh water from the cooler. Brian was right behind me. He unscrewed the cap and dumped the whole thing over his head.

"You think we're done for the day?" I asked hopefully. I dropped my head back and took deep, greedy gulps of the water.

"Fat chance," Brian said. "Here come the girls."

I turned around as the dancers walked by. They smiled and headed out to the stage. I'm not too good at math but I was certain I only counted four.

And I knew which one was missing.

"Where's Andrea?" I said out loud. Brian wiped his face with the bottom of his tank.

"Dunno," he said. He grabbed another water.

I looked around. Howie was sitting in the seats of the venue with Leigh and James. Addy and Kev were talking quietly.

AJ was nowhere to be seen. I turned to head back to the dressing room.

"Where you going?" Brian called.

"I just need to pee," I said.

"Ah, it's all the water. That's why I wear some rather than drink it all."

I forced a laugh and took off down the dark hallway. The econo-size fans pushed an amazing amount of cool air down on me. I took my time checking out the restroom and our dressing rooms. All were empty. By the time I reached the end of the hallway my suspicions were growing by leaps and bounds. I stood by the emergency door, hands on hips, when I noticed the door was being kept slightly ajar with a rock.

I pushed on the door slightly, praying it wouldn't creak. It didn't. My temperature spiked about ten degrees when I saw who was behind the door.

AJ sat on the stoop, a lit cigarette held loosely between his fingers. A long, slender leg was draped over his lap and he was leaning towards the owner of the leg, laughing. Andrea reached over and playfully took AJ's sunglasses off his face. She put them on and leaned towards him.

I was doing my best to be quiet. I got out my cellphone and switched to camera mode. I shifted slightly to get a better look; I wanted to catch him in the act and take a picture for evidence before completely beating the shit out of him.

Unfortunately, just as their lips met and I snapped the picture, I lost my balance. I blame three hours of constant cardio on my weakness. I'm not a clumsy person. My wife? Yes. Me? No. I slammed into the door hard and rolled out onto the concrete stoop. As I came to a stop I heard the sound of a girl's surprised scream and a long string of curse words that could have only come from AJ.

There was a loud scuffling sound as my sneakers caught traction and I stood back up. Andrea was already at the door, half-in and half-out, looking at AJ from behind his own sunglasses.

"I think you better go inside," I said cooly. AJ stood up slowly from the stoop as she disappeared.

My moment of calm only lasted until the door closed behind her. I moved quickly, but AJ was ready for me. He ducked down as I dove for him. He swung around and backed up. He was doing this thing where he shuts off all emotions from his eyes; it only made me angrier.

"What are you doing?" I asked. We circled around each other like two panthers ready to strike.

"What I'm doing is my own business," he replied cooly.

"I'd agree with you except there's more than you involved," I said. I hocked a big spitball onto the ground.

"Nothing's going on. We were just talking."

I lunged; I got the corner of his shirt and dragged him down onto the ground. My elbow scraped along the rough concrete but I barely felt the sting. We scuffled for a few minutes until I got the upper hand. I pinned him down with my knee.

"You lied to me. Have you been with her the whole time I've been at home?"

At that moment a pretty scruffy guy walked by the alley. He turned to look at us.

"Weirdos," he said before hurrying on. I glared back down at AJ, digging my knee in a little deeper. He didn't say a word, but I saw a muscle tick in his jaw.

"We haven't even started this tour yet. What's it going to be like when we get to Japan? I'm not going to let you do this to Ro, AJ. She deserves better."

"Since when did you get so holier-than-thou? You didn't have this guilt complex while you were trying to get into Liv's panties while she was still married."

I didn't answer and he didn't say anything else. I figured he was just shutting down his walls like always. I got up and turned towards the door.

That was a big mistake on my part.

AJ came at me like a fast little ferret. I crashed down onto the ground and dodged the first fist that came at me. I wasn't so lucky the second time. His knuckles connected right with my lip.

"You promised me you wouldn't say anything," AJ said. "You better keep that promise."

"That was the first time," I said. I could taste blood. "I'm not feeling so forgiving right now."

I brought my leg up and connected with his groin. It was a low blow, but I wasn't feeling too friendly at the moment. His body locked up but he didn't roll over and play dead. We stared at each other for a beat and then the punches started flying.

I didn't hear the back door open, but while I was still trying to aim some pretty good face blows, I felt a pair of strong arms yank me back. I knew it was Kevin. Brian and Howie pulled AJ off.

All five of us stood there. AJ's eye was puffing up; I was spitting out blood.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Kevin asked. I spat on the ground again.

"Yeah AJ," I said with a sneer. "Why don't you tell everyone what's going on."

"You know what's going on?" AJ said. His chest heaved.

"I quit."