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Chapter Seventeen

There was a full minute of dead silence. I took the phone from Kevin and put it back in my pocket. That movement seemed to snap AJ out of his trance.

"Oh my god. Oh my fucking GOD."

I saw Brian wince, but he seemed to think twice of chastising AJ.

Truthfully, I was expecting his cell phone to ring in seconds. I was caught of guard when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out, surprised to see Liv's number.

I ducked into my dressing room and closed the door. I could hear AJ still freaking out in the hall. The sound of a heavy foot hitting the metal trashcan reverberated through the wall.

"Hello?"

"What in the world is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

Liv lowered her voice. "I'm over here visiting Rochelle and she got a picture message. From you."

"You're over there?"

"Yeah. Mom's watching Brooke and Noah. I haven't seen Ro in forever so I drove up to check on her. What the hell's going on, Nick? Was that Andrea?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"When was that picture taken?"

"Yesterday. How's Ro?"

"She's freaking out and told me she needed to be alone for a minute. I locked myself in the bathroom to call you."

I sighed. "I should never have let it go this long."

As soon as I said those words I knew I made a mistake. I heard Liv suck in a breath.

"What?"

"What?" I said innocently.

"You just said you should never have let it go on this long. How long have they been...doing whatever they've been doing?"

For some strange reason I couldn't help but remember my promise to God about being a better person if he would watch over Noah and Liv. I sighed.

"It's been going on since the Gay Pride parade. I saw them come out of a coat closet. AJ said she gave him a blow job."

"You've known that long?" Liv said. I heard her voice go up an octave.

"AJ promised me it wouldn't happen again."

"So, you're telling me," I heard Liv's voice shake. "That if you did something like that and asked one of the guys to keep it a secret that it would be okay?"

I didn't like the direction the conversation was heading.

"Liv I wouldn't do that," I explained.

"That's what Hunter always told me," Liv said. I knew by the tone of her voice that she was beginning to cry. "Bro's before ho's, right?"

"What? No! How could you think that? You're not a ho---"

I heard a click; I was left with a disconnected phone call.

I walked out of the dressing room. Howie, Bri, and Kevin were sitting out in the hallway. They looked up at me. I looked around for AJ.

"Where is he?"

"He's out on stage," Kevin said quietly.

That was an answer I wasn't expecting.

"What?"

"He said we should get back to work and he just marched out on stage," Brian explained.

"Has Rochelle called?"

Howie shook his head. "Not that we know of."

I bit my lip. Part of me thought I probably should fly home and try to fix things with Liv. We'd never had a fight and I wasn't sure what kind of fighter she was.

Kevin was the first to stand up. "Let's go out there, let Anya run us through the paces, and call it a trip. We'll skip dress rehearsal tomorrow and just double rehearsals in Japan."

I hoped the group would actually make it in one piece to Japan. It was going to be a long two and a half weeks.

Before heading on stage, I scheduled a late night flight back home. Everyone was eerily quiet. AJ wasn't making eye contact with anyone. Anya was trying to figure out what we were going to do until we replaced the fifth dancer.

After about an hour she told us to take a five minute break.

"What's going on today? I thought you'd actually be improving," she chastised.

"We've got all the steps down," Brian explained.

"You're doing them perfectly but you still look like shit," Anya said. "I don't see any heart."

I was pretty sure the heart was sucked out of us for the day, but I didn't say anything. It just seemed easier to be quiet. After a few minutes Anya clapped her hands and we did it all over again.

"Alright, I don't think miracles are going to happen today," she said two hours later. "I'll see you guys in Japan. And do me a favor. Practice between now and then. I don't know what's going on with you guys, but you're not looking cohesive."

Our four dancers filed off stage. AJ walked off without saying a word. As I passed his dressing room, I saw him throwing stuff into a duffel bag.

"Hey."

I turned around. Brian came up and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You did the right thing. AJ will thank you for this one day."

He didn't wait around for a response; he headed into his dressing room. I walked into my dressing room and closed the door behind me. I leaned back and ran a hand down my face.

I just wanted to go home. Hopefully I still had a home waiting for me.

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I'm happy to report that Liv hadn't changed the locks by the time I arrived home at three o'clock in the morning. The door creaked slightly as I opened it and slipped into the dark house.

Of course, my sneaky entrance was ruined by four crazy dogs jumping over each other trying to get at me first.

"Shhhh!" I said, putting a finger to my lips. Like that ever works.

The hallway lit flickered on. I glared down at Iggy who tilted his head. I swear he smiled at me.

"Nick? What are you doing here?"

Under the circumstances it was a better welcome than I thought I'd get.

"We decided to leave a day early and...take care of things."

Liv rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Let's just talk about it in the morning, okay? I just put Noah down."

I nodded and began to walk towards the hallway. "Okay."

She placed a hand on my chest, stopping me in my tracks.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed?"

Liv shook her head and pointed behind me. I turned. She was pointing at the couch.

I wanted to ask her if she was serious, but I was pretty sure she was. Dropping my duffel bag at the opening of the hall I went and sat down on the couch. I was hoping a pathetic face would work, but by the time I turned to look at her, Liv had already gone back to bed.

It was the most uncomfortable sleep I'd ever had in my life. I had fallen asleep on the couch before, but never on purpose. Knowing that I wasn't welcome in my own bedroom had me tossing and turning. I felt every spring in the couch. At one point all four dogs decided they wanted to sleep with me and I felt like one of those Egyptian dudes in their coffin.

Noah began to cry again around six o'clock in the morning. By that time I already had Brooklyn up and eating some cereal. Liv came in holding Noah. I handed her a bottle as a peace offering.

"Thanks," she said simply.

"Liv..."

She eased the bottle into Noah's mouth and looked at me. I loved the way her hair pointed in about every single direction in the morning. She reminded me of one of those creatures (porcupines?) from the Little Critter kids books.

"Nick, I have a low threshold of trust," Liv began, her voice shaking. I closed my eyes.

"I know. I just wasn't thinking about it the way you were. I was trying to help. I believed him when he promised me that it was a stupid slip-up."

"I'm going to be honest with you," Liv said. "If you ever have a stupid 'slip-up,' you don't get another chance with me."

My heart started to pound. I hadn't even done anything, but the thought of Liv walking out of my life scared the hell out of me.

"I wouldn't do this to you. I know in the past I've been a serial cheater, but I promise you that I'm not that guy anymore."

I felt a Cheerio bounce off the back of my head. I had both the girls in my life pelting me; Brooke with breakfast food and Liv with her stare.

Finally a tear slipped down Liv's cheek.

"Nick, I was with Ro when she got that picture and the look on her face killed me. There's nothing anyone can do to take this back. She's hurt and betrayed not only by him but by you. It hurt me when I caught Hunter cheating on me, but I know that would be nothing compared to what I would feel if you did that to me."

I walked towards her. I was praying she wouldn't turn away. She didn't. I brushed the tear from her cheek.

"I made a huge mistake," I said. "I can't take back what I've done. Sometimes my best intentions take a big swan dive into the sewer."

Liv cracked a small smile. I took it as a sign of progress.

"What did Ro do after we ended our phone call?" I asked. I was smart enough not to say 'after you hung up on me.'

"She was already upstairs pitching AJ's clothes out onto the lawn. For a pregnant lady she had a pretty wicked arm."

I winced. "How are things going with the babies?"

"Well they were going well, but stress isn't good." Liv sighed. "I don't know, Nick. If something happens to the babies on top of what AJ's done...I don't know anyone strong enough to make through all of that in one piece."

"Do you think she'll take him back?"

Liv shook her head. "I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure I mentioned in my anger that this wasn't AJ's first indiscretion. I think she said something to the tune of 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.' Then she took his guitar and smashed it against the wall."

"His guitar?" I asked in horror.

Liv smiled. It wasn't her usual pretty smile.

"Don't you think that's the least of his problems?" she asked.

"You're right," I said with a sigh. Liv set Noah's empty bottle on the counter and looked at it thoughtfully.

"Nick, you don't think AJ's using again, do you?"

I looked at her in surprise. Stupidly, the thought had never crossed my mind. But, with her question laid out in front of me, it kinda made sense. The raspy voice, the inability to think about consequences...I thought about Aaron and how far out of control he had gotten right under my nose. Maybe AJ was headed down in that same spiral.

"You know," I said quietly. "You might be right."

And if she was, the real question was what we could do to help him before he lost everything he had worked so hard to get.