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Chapter Twenty Five - Nick's Tour Diary, Part Two - India, Korea, China

"We've finished the first leg guys," Kevin said. We all tiredly cheered.

We were in a plane headed to Bangalore, India for our next show. I was greedily sucking on airline peanuts. I was so sick of rice I could cry.

"And I have another piece of good news," Sam said. "The fanclub, loves, loves, LOVES your tour diary Nick."

"Really?" I was surprised. English may be my native language but I don't write well. Or speak well for that matter.

"Backstreet's Back bi-atches," AJ teased. Snap went the rubber band on his wrist. He'd already gone through half a pack of rubber bands from snapping so much. I didnt have the heart to tell him that cussing is as much a part of him as breathing. But, in other good news, I've noticed that he's been talking to Ro at least once a day. And yesterday I caught him actually laughing over the phone.

"Each of your posts has hundreds and hundreds of comments. If it's okay with you, I say keep it up," Sam continued.

I grinned. "Of course I will. Actually it's helped me with the bet I made with Kev."

Kev turned around in his seat. "How?"

"When I get hungry I write. I can chew on my pen while I think and that curbs the cravings."

Kev rolled his eyes. "You're not going to last."

I folded my arms. "Watch me."

"He has done pretty good," Brian chimed in. I smiled.

"See, I'm gaining a following. You better call that urban hairstylist that specializes in those white boy dreads."

I heard a sigh. Addy actually looked worried. I laughed.

"You only have to keep them in a couple weeks," I said. "After you grow out your hair, of course."

"I'm not going to lose," Kev said calmly. "I know you."

I clicked my tongue. "No, you knew the old me. I will win this bet."

We argued good-naturedly back and forth for awhile. Howie began to snore.

"Watch this," Brian whispered. I turned to see him crawling up the aisle. He had something in his hands...I couldn't see what. I stood up. Leigh had her head on Howie's shoulder. They were both fast asleep. Brian crouched down and slowly stuffed something in Howie's mouth. He ran back to his seat like his pants were on fire, stifling a laugh.

Howie snored again and whatever was put in his mouth was sucked in. He gagged and jumped.

"NICK!"

"What?"

Howie came into the aisle holding a wadded pair of socks in his hand. He threw them at me. They were soggy with Howie spittle.

"I didn't do this!" I said.

Howie looked like one of those bulls that was about to start pawing the ground. Kev coughed.

"For once, Nick's right."

"Well if he didn't do it..." Howie trailed off. He turned to Bri. His face was pressed up against the window and his shoulders were shaking. Howie grabbed the socks from me and lugged them right at the bald spot on the back of Brian's head.

"Bulls-eye," Howie said with a little smile. Then he walked back to the seat. Brian turned around and picked up the socks.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said.

"Your bald spot," I explained.

Brian touched the sparse patch. He was giving Donald Trump a run for his money with trying to comb over his thinning hireline and his back landing pad. I smelled a Hair Club For Men fan coming a mile away.

"That was low, Howard!" Brian called up to the front.

Howie mumbled something I couldn't decipher. I yawned. I was two weeks away from seeing Liv and the kids. That was just another goal I was working towards.

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April 1 - Bangalore, India - Palace Grounds

Greetings from Bangalore! It's nickname is the Silicon Valley of India, but it's not because all the girls are walking around with giant titties. All of the Bill Gates of the Eastern Civilization call this place home. Needless to say, my IQ barely makes a blip on the radar here. Good thing I have a sexy voice, haha.

Just FYI - We honestly have no time to sightsee today. I'm copying the information about Bangalore's nickname (not the part about the titties) from a brochure in my hotel room.

Bangalore is in Southern India and guess what food is a staple here? You guessed it...rice! I already knew I wasn't going to be getting any beef here, but seeing more heapfuls of rice on our buffet line make me want to scream. Last night I dreamed a giant grain of rice with little white stick legs was running after me with a knife. The only thing that saved me today was the coconut chutney. Now that was tasty.

I'm bummed that we only get to stay one day in India. Howie got some really cool elephants to send back to his mom. After twenty years, she probably needs a house just for all the elephants he's gotten her.

VIP tonight was awesome. I have to say that I've dated a lot of girls in my life, but deep down I'm a sucker for brunettes. That's one of the reasons why I think my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. At VIP tonight I met some of the other beautiful women in the world. On behalf of myself and the other guys I have to thank you for all of the amazing gifts we got today. You guys rock!

Concert is over and we're on the plane. I ripped my pants tonight on stage. I don't know if I'll be invited back to India anytime soon! What do you think girls?

April 2 - Seoul, Korea - Melon Art Hall

After arriving in Seoul and catching a few hours of sleep, AJ and I decided to go do some shopping. What we bought will change the course of history. Or at least make for an entertaining day. What did we buy, you may ask? Blow darts packed with paint.

When we got back to the hotel we passed out the blow darts. We bought enough for everyone, including Baylee. He was thrilled. The object of the game is to be the last one standing. This requires intelligence, sneakiness, and stealth. The game started before we left the hotel. The game will be over when we leave for the airport. I doubt customs is going to let us bring blow darts on board the plane.

Soundcheck was a nightmare. AJ and me are officially out of the blow dart game. Leighanne and Kevin's fiancee Addy thought it would be funny to help their husbands take out the competition. I just turned to pick up my water bottle when a bright orange dot smacked me right in the middle of my forehead. AJ was so mad he threw his blow dart down and smashed it in two.

I think the Littrells are working as a team. I have a feeling this plan might backfire. Baylee took out Kevin. I was in the hallway trying to Twitter when I saw Brian hoist Baylee up about the doorledge leading to Kev's dressing room. Brian knocked and then ran around the corner. Kev opened the door and Baylee swung down. Before Kev got get to his blow dart, Baylee sent a shot right to his cheek. Kev was out.

Right before the concert, Baylee managed to knock his own mom out of the competition. I have to give him props. He pretended that he had a bloody nose. When Leigh pushed back his hands he sent a paint dot straight into her hair by blowing the blow dart with his nostril. I knew Brian's freakishly large nose would come in genetically handy someday.

Howie and Brian both met their demise during the concert. Addy was waiting for Brian and Baylee was waiting for Howie when they slipped through their trap doors for one of our costume changes.

By the time the concert was over only Addy and Baylee were left standing. I figured Addy would just give the little kid a victory, but she wasnt going down without a fight.

The game finally ended when Addy threw her blow dart away outside the airport. Baylee pretended to throw his away, but he hid it behind his back. The moment Addy turned to walk through the airport doors, Baylee blew a big paint dot at her back. Addy's still complaining that he played dirty. I agree, but I'm still impressed.


April 3 - Traveling and a Day Off

After a quick flight from Seoul to Shanghai and a good night's sleep, everyone was ready to enjoy the day. I started off my morning with a video chat with Liv and Brooke. The moment I saw Brooke I knew she had a cold. She looked like a small girly version of me from a few days ago. She started to cry when she realized I couldn't hug her through the screen. You can imagine how I felt.

Our lunch this afternoon consisted of Shanghai hairy crab and...::drumroll please::...rice! I suck at using chopsticks so I carry a plastic spork around with me and use my fingers for any extra assistance. It was pretty bad when I looked down the table and saw Baylee using chopsticks like a pro. My only consolation is that sucking hairy crab juice off my fingers wasn't totally disgusting.

All of us decided to go see a movie today. We had to keep it rated G for Baylee so we watched a Disney movie they had playing. After awhile Brian and I got bored so we snuck into an actual Chinese film. It had English subtitles so we amused ourselves by translating out loud in horrible Chinese accents. I don't think the other two people in the theatre enjoyed it quite as much as we did, but it got pretty hot and heavy there for awhile. Frick -n- Frack should be in the movies.

Howie and Leigh decided to have a night out on the town but I was feeling pretty lazy. I offered to watch James. I knew I was weakening on this 'no fast food' thing as James enjoyed a platter of chicken nuggets. I almost stole the kids nuggets. Luckily for me AJ came in to play the Wii and helped distract me.

I fell asleep on the couch with James lying on me like I was his very own La-Z-Boy chair. It's probably the best night's sleep he's gotten in awhile considering his dad's a mobile snoring vibrator.

April 4 - Shanghai, China - International Gymnastic Center

Worked out with Kevin again today. We did a run on the treadmill and I hardly broke a sweat. The old man's legs gave out before mine did. I think he's getting really scared about this whole bet thing now even though he won't admit it.

One of the fans asked Kevin if he was ever going to get married again at soundcheck today. He got really sappy and started gushing about Addy. Even though he didn't give an exact date, it sounds like the Backstreet Boys are going to be chilling in Kentucky for the weekend very soon.

We had a small fire onstage at the concert tonight. A spark flew up and caught AJ's pants leg on fire. After he rolled around screaming like a girl and I poured my Aquafina bottled water all over him, the concert continued as if nothing happened. Now that's what I call professional.

April 5 - Beijing, China - Wukesong Indoor Stadium

If there is one word to describe Beijing it would be beautiful. We did a pagoda tour by bus today. Howie was in a pretty good mood (he must have gotten laid the night I watched James) and actually participated in the game I made up where I'd open the window, stick my head out, and see how people recognized me and freaked out. After awhile we were laughing so hard we lost count. Some people started to run behind the bus and follow us so our driver had to do some tricky moves to lose them. I don't think the bus driver likes me.

I pulled the first official tour prank tonight. During Straight Through My Heart, Brian is the first one on stage and he runs through a cloud of fog. Well...I replaced the fog with a bubble machine. Bri started laughing and popping bubbles. He's like a dog chasing a squirrel when he sees bubbles.

Kevin tried to trick me by having McDonald's and KFC catered in after the show. Even though I watched every bite that AJ took, I didn't cave in. I had something that tasted like a dry rice cake and a diet coke. I'm beginning to actually feel better even though my mind is still freaking out from fake chemical deprivation. I just keep thinking about how surprised Livvy will be when she sees me and my washboard abs. It's okay to start daydreaming now, girls.

April 6 - Traveling and a Day Off

We spent last night in Beijing and took a flight this morning to Taipei. We just missed a dust storm by a few hours. Kev tried to sneak a cold fry into my breakfast sandwich but I was too smart for him. Time to start singing California Gurls, Snoop!

--- BREAKING NEWS ---

Due to a family emergency, upcoming shows in Taipei, Taiwan, Quezon City, Phillipines, and Marina Centre, Singapore have been cancelled. All ticket holders may will receive a full refund. The Boys hope to reschedule these stops at a later date.