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Chapter Thirty One - May 27

"Why is your shirt damp?"

"There was a little water incident at AJ's."

Liv folded her arms, waiting for an explanation.

"Kevin broke down AJ's front door. And his bedroom door. He wouldn't get out of bed so we carried him to the shower. I got mad at shot water up his nose. He got the sprayer away from me and I got soaked."

After one whole week of AJ not returning calls, Howie, Brian, Kevin, and myself had decided to take action into our own hands. An early morning housecall had done the trick.

"How is he?" Liv asked.

I sighed. "He's...doing the best he can, I think. We took him to see Ally and Jonah."

"You went into the hospital looking like that?"

I pulled my shirt away from my chest. It was a little damp in places; I'm pretty sure it looked a lot worse when we were walking through the halls of the NICU.

"I didn't take a change of clothes," I explained.

"This might be a good time to start," Liv said with a smile. "It's the second time you've needed a wardrobe change."

I had a sudden vision of a giant giraffe trying to eat my ass. I ran my hand through my hair.

"How are the babies?" Liv asked. She was keeping one eye on Brooke as we talked. Sweet little Brooke had a knack of getting in trouble fast; I have no idea where she gets it from.

"They're ready to be released. I think AJ said tomorrow."

"That's great!" Liv said with a full on smile. I had the sudden urge to nibble on her bottom lip and bring her full attention on me, but I stopped myself.

"Well, it's a good thing we took J there today. Ro's mom was going to take them."

There was no need for lip nibbling; that got her attention. She looked at me in surprise. "She was going to take them?"

"Yeah. I think that snapped AJ back to reality more than anything. He's got some fight in him now."

"That poor guy," Liv murmured. Her eyes trailed back past my shoulder and widened.

"BROOKE! YUCK!"

I turned. Brooke was sitting on a huge sheet of white paper with those gigantic toddler crayons. She was making the weirdest face I had ever seen in my life. I squinted. The very tip was missing. Liv groaned.

"Great, now she's going to have purple poop."

I tried not to smile, but I couldn't help it. Liv playfully slapped my chest.

"Since it's so funny, I'll make sure you're there for the diaper change."

"Poop doesn't scare me," I said.

"YUCK!"

We both turned our heads at the same time. A yellow crayon had just met a similar fate. I groaned.

If we didn't put the crayons away, by the time she was done she was going to have some Grateful Dead rainbow poop.

"I have an idea," I said. I walked over and begin to pick up the crayons. Brooke clung to the yellow one, but I plucked it out of her grasp. She began to wail and slap at the paper.

"Any idea that doesn't involve crayons and crying would be good," Liv said over the screams.

I glanced outside. It was another beautiful day. It had been a rough couple of weeks and I just needed some normality.

"Let's go sailing."

----------------------------------

"Nick, I can't take the kids on a speed boat."

We were standing on my dock and my eyes were set on my racing boat. It had been a pipe dream of mine that hadn't lasted long, but everytime I looked at the 43-foot boot with twin 750-horsepower engines got my testerone pumping.

"I know," I finally said with a sigh. "I really need to sell that thing."

The other boat I had docked used to be my floating bachelor pad. I had many a long nights on that boat with an endless stream of ladies. I looked over at Liv. She was wearing a humongous floppy hat, a long sleeve t-shirt and jeans. She had Noah strapped to her chest. I could see his arms waving towards her face in protest. I was holding Brooke who was wearing an equally ridiculous sized hat and staring intently up at the seagulls overhead. She chewed on the ear of the stuffed puppy she was clinging to. We had just been ready to leave when she yanked him out of the toy chest and held him up as if she couldn't bare to be parted with him for even a second.

As crazy as it sounds, I'd take a boat ride with two kids and a wife over a girl who's name I probably wouldn't remember in the morning in a second.

I was completely domesticated.

"All aboard," I declared. Brooke let out a little squeal as I climbed on deck. The boat swayed gently to and fro. I turned around and held out a hand for Liv. She wavered a bit before getting her balance.

"We haven't been on a boat together since LA," Liv said with a soft reminiscing smile. "Before these two were even a conscious thought."

I grinned. "Hey, don't forget the cruise."

Liv made a face. "That wasn't a boat. That was a ship. And those fans handcuffing you to the bed kind of ruined that for me."

I laughed.

"Those girls were nuts."

"And yet, you laugh about it."

"Well looking back...it's kind of funny. They were trying to save me from an eternal life as a married man."

It was Liv's turn to laugh.

"They failed."

"I'm glad they did."

Liv snapped Brooke into a brand new little life jacket and walked her around the deck while I made sure everything was still in tip-top shape. I saw Brooke jump as the engines roar to life and then a look of excitement cross her face.

"BOOM!" she screamed.

"We're taking off!" I called out. Liv gave me a salute and sat down. I put the boat into drive and in seconds we were churning water.

"WAIT!" Liv called out. I cut the motor. We had only managed to go fifty yards.

"What?"

"We forgot the picnic basket in the car," she said meekly.

Twenty minutes later we had the picnic basket and everyone was happy and content. A light spray was hitting my face and I felt a sense of peace.

My idea for a day out at sea had been a good one.

When we were far enough out, I cut the motor and just let us float for awhile. I walked over and sprawled out by Liv. Brooke got up and walked uncertaintly. She leaned first to one side and then the other.

"You've got to get your sea legs, kiddo," I said.

"Kind of hard to balance when she's dragging that dog," Liv remarked. She spread out a blanket and placed Noah down on it. He was getting to the age where he preferred to be out in the open rather than in the sling. He stretched out as much as his little limbs could go and yawned. Liv leaned over and tickled him and his face lit up in a smile.

I scooted closer to her, my arm wrapping around her waist. With a contented sigh she leaned back against me.

"You're the best mom in the world," I said softly.

"You're not so bad yourself," she added.

We watched Brooke carefully. Anytime she got to close to the railing for comfort I'd quack like a duck and she'd take a couple of steps back and giggle.

The third time I did my quack, she backed up and looked at me with the most mischievious smile I'd ever seen in my life. Her fingers tightened around her stuffed puppy's ear and with a little grunt, he was airborne.

I think Liv and I gasped at the same time. The poor dog did somersault after somersault until finally he flew right over the railing. I heard a loud plop and winced. Brooke clapped her hands.

"UP! UP!"

It was a game we played at home. She dropped something from her high chair or from her crib and I'd pick it up. Most of the time she'd just throw the thing right over again. I scrambled to my feet and leaned over the railing. Her arms wrapped around my leg.

"UP! UP!"

I saw one pathetic ear floating in the water. I closed my eyes.

The things a father did for his daughter...

"Nick, you're not going after it," Liv said. I stripped off my shirt.

"He's going after it," she mumbled to herself.

"Brooke run to mommy," I said. She detached herself from my leg and teetered over to Liv. I climbed up on the railing and focused in one the soggy ear.

Then I dived.

Now, a lot of strange things have happened to me in life...things some people wouldn't even believe. The rescue of the stuffed puppy will go down in infamy as one of them. I had just reached the soggy thing and had my arm outstretched when the biggest grouper I had ever seen in my life opened it's gigantic mouth.

Snap.

Puppy was fish food.

I bobbed in the water for several minutes contemplating my next move. I was going to have a angry fifteen month old on my hands when puppy didn't return and I didn't think I was going to be able to properly explain the eating habits of a grouper to her.

Finally I swam to the rope ladder and hoisted myself back up towards the deck. As I came over the side I heard Brooke squeal. I shook the water off of my head and prepared myself for when she saw my empty hands.

Come to find out, 'puppy' was forgotten almost as soon as I dived in the water. As I stood picking seaweed out of my ass, Liv filled me in on the milestone I had missed. Noah had rolled over for the first time and Liv got so excited that for the first time in her life, Brooke finally deemed Noah interesting. When he rolled back over, she had joined Liv in squealing. That's what I had heard when I was climbing up the ladder.

So, as I sat down with a towel wrapped around my shoulders to enjoy our picnic food, I concluded that the next time one of my kids threw anything I was not going to treat it as an emergency. Unless they threw each other overboard.

Then I was willing to get seaweed up my ass again.

Maybe.