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Chapter Thirty Six

"You were what?"

"Could you just come down here? I don't know if I need a bond or a ride home or what the fuck's happening."

I closed my eyes. Bad luck was trailing after AJ like big ass piles of elephant crap.

"I'll be right there."

I disconnected. Everyone was looking at me.

"Who was that?" Liv asked.

I kicked my ball with the toe of my tennis shoe.

"AJ was just arrested. I got to go get him."

"He was what?" Howie said loudly. The vein in his forehead that always popped when he was angry was going haywire.

"I'm going down to see what's going on," I said. "I'll know more then."

I glanced at Bri.

"Could you give Liv a ride home?"

He nodded.

"Sure."

I grabbed the keys from my backpocket. I gave Liv a soft kiss. Her forehead was creased with little worried lines. I touched them gently.

"Don't worry. I'm sure it's just something stupid."

Bri slapped me on the back. I waved over at Howie. I headed out to the convertible and got it.

"I sure hope it's something stupid," I mumbled to myself.

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"Solicitation of prostitution," the front desk clerk said after I asked about AJ's charges.

"Are you kidding?" I said. The clerk didn't look like he had ever smiled a day in his life.

"No, he was arrested by an undercover female officer."

I closed my eyes. Leave it to AJ to pick the only hooker on the street that was a cop.

"Can I see him?" I asked. The clerk stood.

"One minute."

I leaned against the desk and looked around. There was the usual group of weirdos, drunks, and thieves. A couple girls that looked like they were real prostitutes were staring at me. I gave them a little finger wave and quickly turned around.

For some strange reason while I waited, I couldn't help but think about that song It Wasn't Me by Shaggy. He had opened for us during the Black and Blue tour. AJ was practically living that song.

"Come with me."

I looked up and followed the clerk into the back. He led me to an interrogation room.

AJ was slumped over the table. He looked scared. I couldn't believe he had done something so stupid. Stupid was my department.

"AJ, what the hell were you thinking?" I asked as the officer closed the door behind me. AJ looked down at the table.

"I don't know," he said.

I pulled out one of the wooden chairs. It made a terrible scratching noise on the hard floor. I sat down heavily. I tried to put on my best disappointed and angry face. I had been studying Kevin's and I was pretty confident I had it down well. I was going to use it on Brooke and Noah when they got older.

"Dude, hookers are nasty," I finally said. "You could have taken off those fucking glasses, walked into a club, and got the goods for free if you wanted to get your rocks off."

AJ looked up at me.

"That's the thing," he said. "Those club girls would all know me. I just...I just wanted to fly under the radar for once."

I snorted. "Well you did a damn good job of that. Jesus, your face is going to be plastered all over TV and the web by morning."

I could see tears in his eyes. Shit. I sighed.

"Listen, if it helps, I called a lawyer just to see how much trouble you're in. You've never been arrested before for anything and this is your first offense."

"It'll be my last," he said.

"It better," I added firmly. "But, the lawyer said you should get a slap on the wrist and a fine anywhere from five hundred to a grand. Since you were probably shelling that out for the hookers, it's no big deal."

"I have a mugshot," he explained. I couldn't help it; I smiled.

"We can add it to mine. Now we just have to get the other three guys to do something completely stupid and asinine."

He shook his head. I leaned back in the chair and stretched out my legs. The chairs at the station were freakin' uncomfortable. I knew from experience. I glanced back at J.

"So, explain to me why you had to go looking for a piece of ass in the first place. Was your hand not enough?"

He closed his eyes.

"Nick..."

"What? I've done it before. A lot."

A couple Playboys and my hand were all I had when Liv was out of commission with Brooke and Noah. It hadn't been my top choice, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Actually, looking back, I'm surprised I don't have carpal tunnel by now.

"I just needed some company."

AJ started picking at the skin around his thumb; it started to bleed. I knew this was more than company. The signs all pointed back to my first suspicion.

"This doesn't have anything to do with your nanny, does it?" I asked. AJ looked up quickly. Busted.

"Of course not."

"You think she's going to quit now?"

"I don't know," he answered quietly. It looked like the idea hadn't occured to him. Now that I had mentioned it, he looked devastated.

At that point, the door opened and a banging blonde cop walked in.

"McLean, you're up."

He stood up. She handcuffed him again and led him past me. AJ turned his head and looked at me.

"Is she the hooker?" I mouthed. He nodded. I tilted my head. No wonder he pulled up. She had the three T's and more.

"Nice," I mouthed. I couldn't help it; even married guys can't help but look.

After they led AJ out, I returned to the outer room. It seemed to take forever. I was never so glad to see AJ in all my life as he walked out from the back. He looked over at me.

"I figured you needed a ride home," I said. He groaned. I had a feeling he was thinking about his own car. I was pretty sure they had impounded it. We walked out to my convertible.

"Your mom's going to kill you," I said. He didn't answer.

As we neared his house, I pulled to a stop at a redlight and looked at him.

"J, I really hate all this shit happening to you," I said seriously. He didn't look at me.

"Well, I guess it's just the way the cookie crumbles," he said bitterly.

"It's got to turn around sometime," I said hopefully.

A few minutes later I pulled up to the house. It was completely dark. J got out, closed the door, and then leaned back in.

"Thanks for doing this," he said. I decided I was going to pull a good cop / bad cop routine. I smiled.

"What are friends for?"

Then, I frowned.

"But if you do anything, I mean anything, like this again, I'm going to let you rot in jail."

"Point taken," he said lightly. He stepped back and I took off. I watched him walk up to the house from my rearview mirror.

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By the time I got home, it was almost two in the morning. Liv was still up. She was wearing her black 'naughty teacher' glasses and a light pink spaghetti-strap nightgown that barely reached the top of her knees. The light by the couch was on and she was curled up with a book. She sat up when she heard the alarm.

"Is everything okay?" she whispered. I set my keys on the hall table and walked over. I leaned over the back of the couch.

"He was arrested for trying to buy a hooker. The hooker was a cop."

Liv's eyes widened. It was even cuter when it happened behind glasses. I had the sudden image of her smacking me with a ruler. My mouth watered.

"Did they throw him in jail?"

I shook my head and tried to work around my other, more pleasant thoughts.

"No, they fined him and put him on probation."

Liv groaned and sank back into the couch. "He has the worst judgement of anybody that I've ever met."

I plucked the book she was reading from her hands. Wuthering Heights.

"What's this about?" I asked. "Does it have naked cowboys in it?"

Liv laughed. "It's a classic."

"A classic with naked cowboys?"

"Nick, it was written in the 1800's."

"People still did it back then. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here," I reasoned.

Liv fell back against the couch. Her leg was bent at the knee; her nightgown hitched up her thigh.

"You really want to know what it's about?" she asked. At this point I cared more about the ample amount of flesh she was showing, but I didn't want to look as pathetic as AJ. I nodded.

"Sure."

She started describing this love quadrangle with these dudes named Heathcliffe and Edgar and these chicks named Catherine and Isabella. Catherine and Edgar sounded like nutcases. They were perfect for each other. Except they didn't end up together. And everyone dies. I frowned.

"If you know everyone dies why are you reading it?"

Liv's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Because it's a good story."

"Even though there's no naked cowboys?"

She lifted her leg. She pressed her heel into my bare arm.

"I don't need naked cowboys. I have you."

I grinned.

"Well, I am hung like a horse."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Nick, why do you ruin things with stupid comments like that?"

I laughed and moved to the arm of the couch. I crawled up and over her. Her arms went around my neck.

"It's just a bad habit," I admitted. She kissed me softly.

"You don't have to do anything to impress me anymore," she reminded me quietly. "I've seen it all and it gets my full approval."

My hands ran up her legs. She wrapped them around my waist. I pressed my lips against hers. Her mouth opened slightly; my tongue darted in to probe the wetness of her mouth. Her nails scratched through my hair. My throat constricted as a moan escaped. I pressed my weight down on her. Suddenly I felt like I was wearing way too many clothes.

Liv must have felt the same way. She pulled away from my kiss and lifted my shirt over my head. I felt my shoulders ripple and her hands played with the planes of muscle along my back.

I worked my hands between our two bodies and slipped off her panties. There was a lot of wiggling and kicking to get our clothes off without the both of us falling off the couch. I couldn't help but laugh as my jeans got caught around my ankles. My feet were already hanging over the end of the couch. They don't make furniture for normal size people. Couches are only the right length for people like Brian.

Finally I was naked and Liv was naked. It was my favorite combination. I pressed her back into the couch. She tried to find a place to put her foot for leverage. I thought for one second about just rolling her on the floor, but I think we were both too lazy to actually move. With one long feverish kiss I took the plunge. The light from the lamp cast an amazing light over Liv's face. Every time our eyes would meet, the blue in her eyes seemed to mesmorize me and the rush would intensify.

It was one of those nights where I wasn't tired and I was determined to beat a new world record. I took pride in not being a minute man.

Of course, I was so wrapped up in pushing Liv to the edge and then pulling her back and feeling her body coiling up like a slinky that I didn't hear the little 'thump, thump, thump' on the stairs of a little baby coming down the stairs on her bottom.

What I did hear was the sound of the baby gate shaking at the bottom and a little cry. I froze.

"DA-DDY?"

"NICK!"

Liv didn't have to scream my name; well, she probably did. It was at that second I released and I felt her shuddering underneath me even as she was going back into mom mode. Liv grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and quickly threw it over me. I wrapped it around my waist and stood up. Brooke was hanging over the baby gate, her eyes wide even in the dark.

"DA-DDY?"

I'm pretty sure it's not a good idea for your eighteen month old to see her dad banging the shit out of her mom. Liv was doing a mad scramble for her nightgown behind me.

I stood there my mouth open. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know protocol. Did I pick her up? Was that nasty?

Liv solved the problem for me. She came brushing by me in her nightgown and scooped Brooke up.

"Hey stinker," she said. She was squeaking so bad she sounded like Minnie Mouse. "How'd you get down here? You need to sleep."

"DA-DDY?"

"Hey pumpkin. Time to sleep."

My voice sounded even worse than Liv's. I blew her a kiss.

As soon as they disappeared I went back to the couch and gathered up my clothes.

It looked like me and AJ weren't going to make 'Father of the Year' anytime soon.