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Chapter Thirty Eight - September 6

"This is amazing. I don't think we've ever flown with both kids before."

By the look on Liv's face, I was pretty sure she wouldn't have used the word 'amazing.'

"I just hope the other passengers don't kill us before we land," she said. I grinned. She had a point. Brooke was in gymnastic mode today. Currently I was sitting in the chair holding her arms while she did little flips and laughed her ass off.

"I figured all that noise was coming from over here."

I looked up. Then I laughed. You've heard of Iron Man? AJ looked like Iron Dad. He was loaded down with more baby stuff than I had never seen in my life. Oxygen tanks, first aid kits, diaper bags, little minature panic masks...even two giant triangular pillows.

"Dude, what is all that stuff?"

"I've been reading up. The change in cabin pressure can bother infants ears so I have pacifiers and bottles. There's also the change in oxygen level so I thought I'd bring the tank just in case. Then Jonah actually rolled over two days ago so I brought these pillows..."

"They're not going to let you bring an oxygen tank on the flight," I said. "Do you want us all to go boom?"

"BOOM!" Brooke squealed. Noah yelled out something that sounded like "BABABAGA!'

"Well, crap," AJ said. He started to unload everything.

"Hey J?" Liv said. He looked up. "What?"

"Where are Ally and Joe?"

AJ turned and frowned. "They were right behind me." Then he smiled. "There they are!"

Walking straight towards us was the redhead and her identical little girl. The woman was carrying both carseats. I couldn't see Ally or Joe's face; it looked like AJ had them wrapped up so tight that we could have gone to Antarctica and they wouldn't have frozen. All I could see were two pairs of little brown eyes peeking out.

Then there was Red's little girl. She was dancing around in an outfit that made her look like she was ready to audition for Flash Dance. AJ quickly unloaded the rest of the stuff and went over and picked up a car seat. He looked right at Red and they shared a smile.

And it wasn't just any type of smile; it was that type of smile. You know the type. It's the smile you have when there's an attraction, but you're not sleeping together. AJ might as well have just batted his eyelashes at her and giggled.

Which I would have loved to see, by the way.

"Guys, this is Molly and her daughter Shelby," AJ said. Liv stood up. Noah let out a little protest.

"Nice to meet you," Liv said. She shook Molly's hand and then bent down and held her hand out to Shelby. Shelby took Liv's hand and did an energetic pumping shake, up and down. Liv looked like she was trying really hard not to laugh.

I scooped Brooke up after she flipped over one last time.

"Good to see you again," I said to Molly. She shook my hand and smiled.

"Have we met?"

AJ grinned. I tried not to scowl. I used to tell AJ that a woman never forgot my face. That was just a giant burn to my ego right there.

"Er, briefly," I said.

I shook it off and leaned down towards Shelby. I held up my hand. At least the kid knew what to do. She gave me a hard high five.

Brooke, not to be outdone, held out her hand too. Shelby grinned and gave her a lighter tap. Brooke waved her hand right up into my face as if to say, 'See? I can do it too!' I took her fingers and nibbled on them.

"Why do your kids have yellow hair?" Shelby asked. I looked down at her in surprise.

"It's blonde hair," I said. "Just like mine."

She tilted her head. Out of the corner of my eye I saw AJ watching her; he looked amused.

"You look like Spongebob," she said.

I've been called a lot of things in my life, but never Spongebob. Before I could ask the kid what planet she came from, I heard our boarding call.

"Alright who's ready to go to Kentucky?" Liv said. Noah gurgled. Brooke swung herself around every which way, her head practically smashing into my chin a couple times.

"UCK!" she said. I knew it was probably short for Ken-tUCK-y, but I couldn't help but laugh.

AJ had to lag behind because he got stuck talking to an FAA agent who informed him what he could and could not take on board (which was basically half the stuff he brought). He cut it really close to the wire; running on board just as they were locking the doors.

"Alright," he said a little breathlessly, taking his seat. "Let's just sit back and relax."

-----------------------

I think AJ jinxed us. It wasn't even a long flight, but it was the flight from hell.

I should have listened to AJ's talk about the change in cabin pressure. Noah was fine, but as I felt my own ears pop, Brooke let out a scream like someone was stabbing her repeatedly with a knife. Her back rammed against my chest and she held her hands over her ears, large tears streaming down her face. I'm sure even the passenger in coach heard her.

Then there was Noah. Once I got Brooke calmed down and she sat sucking from her sippy cup, Noah began to whine. At first I thought it was because Liv wasn't letting him off her lap. Then I saw the look on his face.

"Liv, I'd take him to the bathroom," I warned. She turned Noah around.

"Why---"

It was disgusting. I don't know what kind of jar baby food Liv had fed him before we left, but it was green and brown and yellow and it smelled like used kitty litter. And it ended up all over Liv.

If that wasn't bad enough, Shelby was skipping up and down the aisle and had seen the whole thing.

"Ew, that looks like runny poop!" she squealed.

Liv looked like she was going to be sick. She took off down the aisle and I swear that everyone who had an aisle seat moved as far away from her as humanly possible.

With the help of the stewardess, I helped cleaned up any puke left on the seat. While I did that, Brooke got loose. Liv returned and sat down. Noah was freshly changed and looked like he was going to fall asleep. Liv had cleaned herself up the best she could but she still smelled.

Not that I would have ever told her that. Anyhow, I think she knew. She kept leaning down and sniffing herself. Finally, she looked at me. Her eyes grew wide.

"Nick, where's Brooke?"

I think my heart stopped. I stood up and looked down the aisles.

No Brooke.

I retraced my actions in my head. I remembered letting her go when I helped wipe up Liv's seat.

"Brooke!" I called out. No answer.

"AJ?" He turned around. He had one of the twins in his arms, I couldn't tell who.

"What's up?"

"I can't find Brooke!"

"Well, she's got to be here somewhere."

I had an irrational moment where I pictured her opening the emergency door and falling out; her little nineteen month old body twirling around in the air. I climbed over Liv.

"Brooke!" I called again.

No answer.

I flagged down a stewardess and gave a description. She told me to return to my seat.

Yeah, right.

The stewardess disappeared into coach. If I hadn't pissed off every other first class passenger yet, I did now. I practically crawled between people's legs looking for her.

"Shelby!"

I turned around. Now Molly was standing up with a baby in her arms looking concerned. She caught my gaze.

"Have you seen Shelby?"

"No, when did you lose her?"

"I don't know, she was skipping up and down the aisles five minutes ago."

"Brooke!"

"Shelby!"

It wasn't until I made my way to the bathroom that I heard the sound of little tiny giggles. The lock hadn't been flipped on the bathroom, but there was someone in there. Hoping that I wasn't going to walk in on a fat man taking a dump, I pushed open the door.

The faucet was running and water was everywhere. Brooke was sitting on the floor splashing away while Shelby scooped up big handfuls and tossed it in the air.

"What you doing?"

Brooke looked up. "DA-DDY!"

"We're playing mermaid!" Shelby said.

I scooped Brooke up. The water soaked right into my shirt.

"C'mon Ariel. Your mommy's looking for you," I said. Shelby hopped off of a little block of wood she had found and followed me. I left her to be scolded by Molly and headed back to Liv. Brooke was starting to whine, but there wasn't any place to change her. The bathroom was too wet to change Brooke in and we were almost there anyhow. I sat her on my lap and let the water soak into my jeans. Liv looked over at me.

"Is this flight amazing yet?" she asked. I leaned my head back against the headrest.

"Not quite."

-----------------------

I was never as glad to get off a plane as I was today. Brian and Leigh had flown up a couple days earlier to spend more time with the 'fam.' He had offered to pick us up. He started to laugh the minute he saw me.

"Did you pee your pants? I've warned you about that."

I gave him a look. Brooke's hair was plastered to her forehead and she was almost in as bad a mood as I was. Liv was still plucking her shirt away from her skin and making a face at the lingering smell of puke.

"Was it a good flight?" Bri asked. I glared at him. He grinned sheepishly and directed his attention to AJ. AJ introduced him to Molly and Shelby. We all shuffled through the airport.

"Howie and Leigh arrived a couple hours ago," Bri explained.

"How are we all going to fit in a van?" I asked. I look came over Brian's face that I didn't like.

"Oh, I didn't get a van," he said. "I got a bus."

He wasn't kidding. The thing was old and looked like David Cassidy should be hanging out the window singing.

"What are we?" AJ asked. "The friggin' Partridge Family?"

Great minds think alike.

"Well, the church doesn't have much parking and you guys are all staying at the same hotel anyhow. I thought this would get ya'all back and forth," Bri explained.

AJ got Ally and Joe buckled in. I returned to baggage claims to get our carseats and bags. It took over an hour to get everyone situated. I knew it would take another hour to get everyone out and into the hotel.

We were going to be lucky to make Kev's wedding and it was two days away.

"How are we going to do this on tour?" I asked allowed. Bri just smiled.

"We're just going to run on Backstreet time like we always do," he said.

"And if the fans get grouchy enough we can put a little Carter face up to the window and distract everyone with th aww's," AJ added. "We'll sacrifice Noah to the Backstreet fans."

"I don't think so!" Liv called. Her voice was muffled. She had crawled under the seat for something. She came up with Noah's pacifer. She slid it in her pocket since it was probably covered with dust that had been around since the 70's.

When we were all finally in and buckled, Bri scrambled up into the driver's seat. The bus shimmied and shook but finally roared to life.

"Welcome to Kentucky!" he called back to us.

He honked a horn and I swear it sounded like the theme song from The Dukes of Hazzard.

Brooke had been right all along. All I could think of was her little chirpy voice saying 'UCK.'

It was going to be a long couple of days.