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Chapter Forty

After each of the kids got a chance to either ride on the horse or pet it (depending on age), enjoyed a big sugary cupcake, and ran in the yard until they all fell down exhausted, me and the guys got everyone buckled into the bus.

"Okay girls," I said as Brian slid up in the driver's seat. "Kev has a bet to pay up on. So, Brian's taking you back to the hotel where you can all watch a movie and talk about us."

Addy put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me, but I live here."

I turned to her. I wasn't scared of any of the girls...except Addy. I mean, she did use a taser on me. I smiled sweetly.

"Please? Consider this a really, really tame bachelor party."

"Consider it just a few hours until I can cut my hair," Kevin added. Addy looked at him and smiled.

"I am looking forward to that," she admitted. She glanced down at Mason.

"Want to go watch a movie with the other kids?"

"Yup!"

While Addy and Kev said goodbye, I leaned into the car and kissed Liv softly.

"You're only going to finish this bet right?" she asked. I laughed.

"Why do you ask?"

"Nick..."

Before she could say anything Mason scrambled into the van.

"It smells in here!" he said loudly. I sniffed. It smelled like old incense.

"Okay guys have fun!" I said. I stepped out to let Addy in. Brian turned around.

"I'll be back in a half hour. Don't do anything 'til I get back," he warned. I nodded.

"No prob."

Brian took off and I went back to the picnic table. I sat across from AJ. He was staring off into the sky. Slowly he looked at me.

"I want to slap the shit out of you."

My eyes widened. "Why?"

"You have the worst timing of anybody I've ever met."

"What did he do now?" Howie asked. He sat down next to AJ.

"I walked in on AJ and Red," I explained. "AJ was putting the moves on her." I puckered my lips and started to kiss the air. AJ's hand shot out and smacked me on the head. I laughed.

"What's going on with the nanny?" Kevin asked. He sat beside me. "I missed it."

AJ sighed. "Nothing's going on with the nanny."

"Oh c'mon," I said with a laugh. "You're telling me that you would pass up the chance to be the male lead in AJ and the Naughty Nanny?"

AJ scowled. "I can't even get a kiss without getting interrupted!"

"So thereis something going on with the nanny," Kevin said. AJ scratched his beard. He was driving me nuts doing that.

"She's cute," Howie said.

"Her kid's a nutcase," I added. AJ looked at me.

"Just wait unti your kids are that age. I don't think we've seen anything yet," AJ said.

"You're going to need leashes," Howie said.

"And barkless collars," AJ added. I looked at him.

"Barkless collars?" He just grinned.

"Back to Molly," Kevin said. "So is there feelings there or..."

"We just have a lot in common," AJ said. He started to pick at a loose piece of wood on the picnic table. "She lost her husband and Shelby's twin brother in a fire three years ago."

There was a heavy silence as we all processed that information. Finally AJ lifted his head and looked around us.

"What do you think Ro would want me to do? I mean...it's only been five months..."

Kevin crossed his arms and leaned into the table. "I don't think I can answer that. I mean, I met Addy right after Kristin and I split up."

"Well, I think she's better than you getting arrested with another prostitute," Howie said. AJ groaned.

"That won't happen again."

"It's not like you're running out and getting remarried," I reasoned. "If it doesn't work out you're not out anything but a nanny. It's probably better to do it now rather than when the kids are older."

"Nick actually has a good point," Howie said.

"Well what would you guys do if you were in my position?"

I thought about it. I didn't want to think about it, but the question was thrown out there. I tried to imagine life without Liv; I tried to picture taking care of Brooke and Noah by myself. It wasn't a good picture.

"I think," I said slowly. "That Liv would want me to move on. I mean, if I'm eighty and it happens, I don't think I'm going to go out and marry a twenty year old. But if it happened now...we're still so young..."

AJ nodded. Kev's head shot up. We all watched a Lexus crunch down the driveway. A pretty girl stepped out of the car. She leaned back in and grabbed a big bag.

"That's your hairdresser," I told Kev. I nudged his side. He looked at me.

"She's really a hairdresser right?" he whispered. I laughed.

"I didn't get you a stripper. Don't worry. Her name's Donna."

Donna headed our way. When she got up to the table I stood.

"Nick?" she asked. I nodded and shook her hand. Then I pointed at Kevin.

"Here he is!"

Donna walked over to Kev. She grabbed his hair and took it out of the ponytail.

"Can you do it?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah, this will be great," she said.

As she was running her fingers through his hair, Brian pulled back up. He hopped out and jogged up to the table.

"I didn't miss anything, right?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nope. Just in time."

"Can we go inside?" Donna asked.

"Yeah. It's going to get dark soon," Kevin said.

We all walked into the house. It was so...country. Pictures of Mason were everywhere.

Talk about a proud dad.

Donna set Kevin up in the kitchen. I ran back out to the bus and dug under the seats. I pulled out a video camera. I came back in and sat across from Kev. His eyes were closed and Donna was starting to partion his hair. I turned the camera on.

"Here we are in Kentucky in Kevin's kitchen. Kevin's getting his hair done. Kev, why don't you explain to the fans what Donna here is doing?"

Kev opened an eye and glared at me. "I'm getting dreads."

I stifled a laugh. "And why?"

"Nick..."

"No, tell the fans. They might have forgotten. It's been awhile."

Kev sighed. He was getting grouchy and fast. I turned to Bri. He grinned and leaned into the screen.

"Hey Bri, why don't you tell everyone why Kev's getting dreads."

"Well," Bri said. He straddled the back of a chair. "Nick and Kev made a bet that Nick couldn't stay away from fast food for a month. And Nick won. Kev's punishment is the dreadlocks and a personal statement about Nick's greatness. Now if you ask me, Nick is full of balog--"

I paused the camera. "I didn't ask your opinion, Littrell."

"How long is this going to take?" AJ asked.

"It's not really dreads," Donna explained. "The correct term is cornrows for this length and thickness. It's going to take about an hour and a half."

"What are we supposed to do while we wait?" AJ asked.

"I have a suggestion."

Bri and I looked over at Howie. He was laying on the couch in the living room. I swore he was going to say take a nap. He sat up and looked at AJ.

"I think we need to give AJ a makeover so he can get the nanny."

AJ's eyes widened. "I don't need a makeover. I've perfected my image."

"No offense," Brian said. "But you scratch that beard every five minutes. It's getting long; you look like Rip Van Winkle. We either need to get some lice shampoo on it or you need to shave."

"Hey Kev where's your computer?"

A quarter of his hair was corn-rowed. I was loving every minute of this night.

"In the living room on the desk," he said. "Why?"

I didn't answer him. It wasn't like he was going to get up and run after me. I headed into the living room, flicked on the light and powered the laptop on. As soon as the desktop loaded I went to Google.

"What are you doing?" AJ asked. Bri followed him into the living room.

"I'm bringing up all the pictures of you I can find," I said. "I think we need to vote on what was the best facial hair look for you."

Googling AJ was actually kind of funny. There were so many pictures from 1997 when he was in his 'Fly for a White Guy' stage. And then there were the pictures of all the rest of us tagged in along with AJ's name.

"Dude Howie, you and Kevin were battling it out for worst hair style for awhile," I commented. Howie came over and looked.

"I had beautiful hair," he argued. "I should have had my hair insured."

"No, you should have saved it so Brian and AJ could have gotten hair plugs," I said. I felt a hand on the back of my head; I was pretty sure it was Brian.

I flipped through a couple pages and then came to a couple shots from the 'I Still' video. I tapped the screen.

"See, you didn't look like a hobo here," I reasoned. Brian leaned over my shoulder.

"I looked good with fuzz," he said. "I should grow that back."

I was going to ask him if his hair was still growing anywhere, but I thought twice.

"What do you think Howie?"

Howie got off the couch and leaned over. "I agree."

I turned to look at AJ. His arms were folded across his chest.

"Kevin?" I called out.

"What?"

"Where's your razors?"

"In my bathroom upstairs. What are you guys doing?" I think Kev was feeling left out.

AJ snorted. "You're not doing anything. I remember when you shaved your chest and it was all splotchy and raw."

I made a face. "I've never shaved my chest."

"Bull-shit. I know for a fact that Paris liked a bare chest."

I felt my face flame up. I had made a lot of bad relationship choices in my life.

"Fine. Then Howie will do it. He's articulate."

"Meticulous," Howie corrected.

I shrugged. "Whatever."

Twenty minutes later we had both AJ and Kevin in the kitchen. Kevin's hair was half done. I flipped on the camera.

"It's an exciting night in Kentucky, folks. Kev's halfway done with the cornrows. My bad that I called them dreads earlier. How do you feel?"

Brian jumped in front of the camera. He put on his best 'Stewie' voice from Family Guy.

"I feel right, Bri. I feel right."

"I feel ridiculous."

"It's only taken you twelve years to admit how stupid this was the first time you did it," I said with a laugh. I panned the camera over to AJ.

"In this corner, Howie is giving AJ a metrosexual makeover. The flea factory that's been growing on his chin is getting tamed."

Howie turned around and waved with the razor. AJ's eyes watched the razor like a hawk.

"Dude, I swear if you cut me..."

"I won't cut you. Hold still."

I kept the camera panned between AJ and Kev for about five minutes. Than my arms got tired. I paused it and set it down on the table. I fidgeted for another five. Then I just got bored.

"Hey, Nick..."

I turned. Brian's head was in the refrigerator. He pulled out a huge watermelon.

"I bet I can spit a seed farther than you."

AJ groaned. I turned to make sure Howie hadn't slit his throat. AJ was looking over at us.

"Don't bet Nick," he said, barely moving his mouth. Bri just grinned.

"Nick?"

I turned back to him. "What's the bet?"

Brian looked thoughtful. Then he snapped his fingers. "Whoever loses has to put on girl's clothing and sing and dance to 'Milkshake.'"

The idea of Brian singing about how his milkshake was going to bring all the boys to the yard was too good to pass up. I stood up and held out my hand.

"Gimme a seed."

Ten minutes later all styling work was paused. Howie was armed with some masking tape. Brian and I were both behind a long masking tape line.

"Alright, Bri you spit first," Howie instructed.

I could see Brian working the seed around in his mouth. He pointed in the distance as in marking his spot. Then he tossed his head back and let it go. The seed bounced and rolled, finally landing just out of the kitchen in the living room. Howie marked it off.

"Okay, Nick."

I studied the seed. We each had two tries. But I wanted to take the lead on the first. I shuffled my feet. I rolled my neck along my shoulders. Then I took aim.

I had a pretty good trajectory of spit. The seed tumbled over and over. It landed just a little farther than Brian's.

"Round two," Howie said.

"Nick, you're first."

I wanted to make the second one really count. I followed the same procedure as before. Unfortunately I think I almost swallowed it on takeoff. The seed fell far short of even Brian's first attempt. I groaned.

"Brian, it comes down to this."

Bri cracked his knuckles. He pointed at my seed. He looked at me. He made the cut-throat sign. Then he grew serious and let it go.

I have to admit, that seed had game. I knew I was a goner. I heard the thing hit the window. I groaned.

Kevin let out an excited yell like he had just won the Superbowl.

"Addy has a box of stuff to go to Goodwill. Dig through it, Nicolette."

Needless to say I missed the last ten minutes of Kevin and AJ's transformations. I was upstairs picking out women's clothing to wear. Let me just say, I'm not cut out to wear women's clothing. I ended up in a blue skirt and a flannel shirt. I headed downstairs.

"That's hot," Brian said. Howie wolf whistled.

"You've got to tie your shirt up," AJ said. "We need to see some midriff."

"Oh fuck off," I said. AJ snapped his fingers and pointed. I rolled my eyes and tied the shirt up. Brian grabbed the camera.

"So, the fun continues ya'all. Nick just lost to me in a watermelon seed spitting contest. So he's gonna perform Milkshake by Kellis. In costume."

Bri zoomed in on me. I figured that with the wonderful powers of editing that this part of the video would never see the light of day.

So, I hammed it up.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge


By the time I was done everyone was rolling with laughter. I gave a bow, showed my ass, and headed back up the stairs.

When I came back down, Donna was jst finishing up with Kev. Howie had completed the remodel of AJ's facial hair. I gave him a thumbs up.

"Much better. Now she'll want to kiss you."

"I think she did before. You interrupted us."

I waved him off. "Small detail."

I picked up the camera and sat across from Kev.

"For schizzle my nizzle," I said. Kev sighed and touched his hair.

"Let's just get this over with," he said.

I turned the camera on, turned it towards me, and held it out. I grinned.

"Kev's transformation back into Kev Doggy Dogg is complete. Now, he'd like to say a few words."

I turned the camera back on him. Kev leaned forward.

"Nick," he said, then paused. I made the 'go on' motion.

"Nick is the best-looking, fittest member of the entire group and I wish I could be him."

"Tell everyone how much you love me."

"You're pushing it."

I laughed. "Alright, well thank you for those kind, very true words."

I turned the camera back towards me. "I hope you enjoyed this episode of Backstreet Beauty Salon. Keep checking backstreetboys.com for a big announcement regarding new music and tour dates!"

I turned off the camera. Kev loked up at Donna. He picked up a pair of scissors.

"Let's cut it."

As Donna started to undo Kevin's hair and AJ checked out his trim, I had to admit that it hadn't been our craziest party, but it had been relaxing. I looked over at Bri. He was stretched out in the doorway leading to the living room.

"I kinda thought you had something else up your sleeve," he said with a yawn.

"Who me? No way," I said. "I think I used all my energy on the Howie donkey plan."

Howie scowled. "Nick, I swear if you ever mention that again..."

I laughed. I didn't need to mention it again.

The pictures were worth a thousand words.