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Chapter Sixty Six - March 12 - Oslo, Norway

"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world. C'mon Howie, let's go party!"

Howie turned a page in his brochure roughly. I saw his jaw tense, but he didn't say a word. AJ snickered. Howie had been pretty moody and quiet since his makeover.

I was dancing around the bus in order to stay warm. My Celsius to Farenheit converter on my phone had told me right away upon waking up that it was 29 degrees Farenheit. I was reluctant to go outside.

Nick Carter does not make a good polar bear.

"Did you know Oslo sends Christmas trees to D.C. and New York every year?" Howie asked.

"Did you know that blue eyeshadow really accentuates your eyes?" I replied.

I heard the turn of another page.

I didn't like this new turn of events. Making Howie explode was fun. Howie keeping all of that inside...

That was dangerous.

I glanced outside. Kevin and Brian were running around playing football with Mason and Baylee. Little puffs of smoke from their warm breath flew up into the air. Bri ran up to the bus and knocked on the window.

"Come out here and play!" he yelled. I shook my head. For emphasis I pointed to the temperature on my phone. Bri rolled his eyes.

"You're not going to freeze!"

AJ laughed.

"You weren't worried about the cold when you were rolling around with Liv outside the bus in the snow," AJ said. He shoved a whole bunch of magazines on the floor and sprawled out on the coffee table. Howie glanced up, but didn't say a word. I made a face.

"I don't recollect any of that, thank you."

AJ laughed. "I wish I didn't. The sight of your white ass is burned forever into my mind."

Bri knocked on the window again. It was either stay inside and get razzed by AJ or go outside and pray that running around would warm me up.

I grabbed a coat and prayed for the best.

After a good hour of playing football, in which Brian actually avoided a tackle by dodging between my legs, we headed into the venue at Oslo Spektrum. Alongside our usual buffet fare they had set up some regional dishes.

"Meatballs!" I said happily.

"Kjøttkaker," Howie corrected.

"Meatballs!" I said again happily.

After stuffing my face with as many meatballs as I could possibly eat without fear of throwing up or risking getting a horrible stomach cramp on stage, I tossed out my plate. AJ wasn't far behind.

Howie, Bri, and Kev had just grabbed a quick bite. AJ and I had been having a meatball-a-rama. By the time AJ and I got to the dressing room, the other guys were already dressed.

"You guys better hurry," Kev warned.

"I need a bottle of water," Howie said. He walked out of the room. Bri was kicked back in the beanbag chair again.

AJ and I were down to our underwear when the fire alarm rang. I looked up.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Kev's eyes widened. "I smell smoke."

I stopped with my pants in hand and sniffed. Sure enough, I too smelled smoke.

Bri hopped up. "We gotta get out of here!"

He threw open the door and took off. AJ and I, not really caring about getting dressed anymore, ran out into the hall. We lost sight of him, but AJ grabbed my arm and pointed towards the emergency exit. We tore towards the door and burst outside. The door slammed shut behind us.

A cold blast of wind hit me hard as I stood gasping for breath. Goosebumps danced along my arms...and everywhere else. AJ rubbed his arms.

"Where'd everyone else go?" I asked.

"I don't know. That was the closest exit," AJ said.

I looked up at the building. I didn't see any smoke.

"Maybe someone just had a really strong cigarette," I suggested. I hopped up and down. Standing outside in your underwear really wasn't fun.

"I'll peek in and see what's going on," AJ said. "Damn, it's cold."

He grabbed for the door, but it wouldn't open.

"You've got to be kidding me."

He banged on the door. No one came to open it.

I had a sneaking suspicion that AJ and I had just gotten punk'd.

"Hey J?"

"Yeah?"

"I bet Howie set this up."

AJ looked at me blankly for a minute. His eyes widened.

"Oh shit."

Now, you wouldn't really think this was such a great prank, but here it was freezing cold and we were outside where the busses were parked in our underwear. The only other exits were probably already swarming with fans. It was pretty ingenious.

But not good enough.

"They can't go on without us," I reasoned. "Our bus is right there. I say we just go sit there until Howie has to bring us our clothes."

AJ grinned. "Good thinking."

With the bottom of my feet burning from the stinging cold, we made our way to the bus. I yanked open the door and took a step up.

Howie had been waiting for us. Before I could duck, Howie turned on a hose and ice cold water shot out at both of us. I heard AJ scream. I lost my footing and crashed down on the steps. Howie was relentless. He kept the spray trained on us. When he finally did shut it off, he quickly closed the bus doors.

We were shut out.

AJ had little tiny icicles on his goatee. I touched my hair. It was stiff. If I thought I was cold before, it was nothing to how I felt now.

"T--t--this isn't a p-p-prank," I chattered. "H-h-he's t-t-t-trying to k-k-kill us."

AJ's eyes narrowed and he began to beat on the bus door.

"LET US IN DAMNIT!"

While AJ was yelling and carrying on, I kept an eye on the side door. It opened a crack and Brian peeked out. I took off.

"Don't close the damn door!" I yelled. He laughed. I got to it just as he closed it again.

"BRIAN!"

"Who wishes to see the wonderful wizard of Oz?" Brian boomed.

"T-t-this isn't f-f-funny!"

Brian opened the door back up. He was grinning ear to ear.

"You're right. It isn't. But this is."

He turned his back to me and I opened the door wider. Five wide-eyed girls were staring at me with their mouth open. I had forgotten that Sam had hid five extra special VIP passes for a before-show tour. One girl, still with mouth agape, raised her cellphone. I heard a click. I quickly slammed the door shut.

By the time the door opened again, AJ was standing by me and neither of us was happy. I had frozen snot in my nose and I think I was wheezing. Kev peered out at us.

"C'mon in and get dressed."

We before stomped in. We had just barely enough time to take a warm shower and get in our clothes before the concert. Howie bounced on his heels; he was grinning ear to ear.

"Was this Liv's idea?" I asked. I couldn't believe my own wife had played a part in trying to kill me by hypothermia.

"No, she only gave me the idea about the fire alarm and a quick shut-out. I added in the water and Brian added in the girls."

"Well, when Nick and I get sick, don't blame us," AJ said bitterly.

Before we could discuss it further, we heard out cue and it was back out onstage. I don't think I've ever been more comfortable on stage. It was nice and warm underneath the lights.

I couldn't wait to get on the bus and call home. I needed to have a nice little chat with my wife.

I already knew she was going to say that I deserved it, and I knew that Howie and I were probably 'even.' Even still, I knew deep down that if the opportunity presented itself, that I would enact revenge in a heartbeat.

Lipstick and eyeshadow were better than becoming a human popsicle any day of the year.