DANCING WITH MYSELF
"What's wrong with you?" Brian asked the moment I stepped onto the stage from wardrobe. I must've looked like shit the way he looked at me. Make-up had hummed and hawed trying to get me ready to go and eventually had said 'good enough' and sent me on my way. But evidently 'good enough' wasn't very 'good'. "You look like you got hit by a Mack truck."
"You aren't sick again are you?" Howie asked. AJ cringed from the floor, where he was stretching.
"No," I answered, "I'm okay. I just... well, I called Melly and told her I wanted to get back together, and..."
Brian's eyes lit up, "No way!" He grinned, "That's awesome buddy!"
"Yeah, congrats Nick," called AJ from the floor, "Rochelle's gonna be happy to hear that."
I frowned, "Well, actually, no. Uh, she met someone else."
Brian's face fell instantly.
"What a damn whore," AJ bitched. "What'd she do, leave you and go right out and latch on to the next thing she saw with a penis?"
Howie choked on his water, spraying it everywhere. Crew came running out with paper towels. "AJ," Howie's tone was warning.
"Sorry, but it's true," he muttered, dropping his face as close to the floor as he could get it, bending in on himself like a pretzel.
Howie rolled his eyes, "Ay dios mio..." he muttered.
"I'm sorry man," Brian said, clapping my back as I joined him to stretch my hamstrings. He frowned, "But if she's already moved on, you gotta know she's not the one." He looked at me seriously. He smiled, "You'll know it when you meet the one... You'll know it right here." Brian's fist tapped his chest. His eyes sparkled, "Trust me."
I turned and saw Leighanne, Leigh, James, and Rochelle come in the far side of the venue and start sitting down in the corner together. Rochelle waved to AJ and winked. Brian's eyes were focused on Leighanne, who was mouthing olive juice.
As Brian drifted away towards the women, I stood in the corner of the stage and crouched down and gripped my toes. I wasn't sure what I was stretching but it felt close enough to stretching. I sighed and bounced on the balls of my feet, rocking back to my heels and forward again.
"You know the best part about me being imaginary is?" Victoria asked, suddenly laying on the stage in front of me. "Nobody else can see me. So if you want me to be here when there's other people here... I can be. All you have to do is come to me."
I stopped bouncing and rocking and took a deep breath, looking up at her. I don't want to be alone anymore, I thought. I could hear the other fellas giggling and talking to their wives and fiance, laughing about something James had just done. It made me strangely homesick.
"You aren't alone," she whispered, "I'm here. I'll always be here." Victoria slid her hand into one of mine and squeezed. I squeezed back. Strength seemed to melt from her hand down the length of my arms until I was standing up. She smiled.
"Nick, c'mere," Brian called, waving me over.
I looked at Victoria. "You're gonna go if I go over there, huh?" I asked.
"Just don't 'put me away'," she said, shrugging.
"Put you away?"
She smiled, "Yeah, that's what you used to call it when you left me. Like I was a toy or something." I laughed. Victoria laughed, too. "Go.. go see what your friends want. I'll be here when you need me." She sat down on the stage.
Feeling stronger, less alone knowing she was there, I ran across the stage to where the fellas were, peeking back to make sure she'd stayed. She waved and I jumped off the stage's edge to see what Brian had wanted.
That night, I practiced keeping Victoria around. She stood on stage during the show, watching me, a smile on her face, enthralled by the lights and the dances and the music. Her face reflected the fans', who watched raptly as always. It felt so good - the way it used to feel when my parents would come to a show, like someone cared.
During All Of Your Life, though, Victoria seemed to be unable to stay on the sidelines. As I danced with our hired back-up dancers, she was suddenly behind me, her hands on my hips. She pressed herself against me, "Mmm," she murmured, "I love you." She directed my hips along, her hands gently swaying them faster. "They love it when you do this," she whispered, making me grind forward into the crowd. The fans screamed loudly. "There we go," she whispered. "You're so sexy."
I felt my face redden. This is something the other guys don't get to do with their women, I thought with a laugh as Victoria continued guiding me along through the moves, popping my hips and pulling me towards her, pushing me forward...
"There are perks to having an imaginary woman," she laughed, kissing me square on the back of the neck where my hairline ended. She reached around me and rested her arm across my chest, clinging to the material of my shirt. "I can do anything," she whispered. Her hand slid down the front of me as I started singing my verse, my voice deepening the lower her hand slid. "Finish your show," she whispered, "And we'll continue this later."
And with that, she disappeared.
Bad Romance by Pengi
