NOTHING SHE CAN DO
Victoria stayed away the entire next day.
Melly, however, did not.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, lowering a bowl of soup on the coffee table beside the sofa where I was laying. Howie and Brian had gotten me out of there with the help of Marcus and Drew, got me back to the hotel and left me in Melly's expert care; Melly was a part-time nurse at the local elementary school.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered. The back of my head had swelled up from the strike against the cement, and a bandage had been affixed there. I'd gone to the hospital and gotten checked out and they'd said I was fine, but I was starting to wonder if they knew about concussions at all here because I felt like I maybe had one. I'd been concussed many, many times before, and I recognized the feeling pretty well.
Melly sat down on the floor beside me and stared up at me. "I can't help but feel like this is my fault, shocking you like that..."
I shrugged, "Not really... it wasn't you that did it." Freaking Victoria... I thought. And now she doesn't even come around, what the hell?
Melly sighed, "I just feel like you wouldn't have been so startled if I hadn't just shown up out of no where." She took my hand, "Nick I'm so sorry... I just had to see you again, and it didn't matter how far I had to travel." Melly smiled sadly. "I didn't want us to make a mistake."
I looked at Melly, her eyes were so soft and sincere... My heart kinda melted a little bit, and my anger at Victoria dissolved. I smiled at Melly, reaching my hand down to touch her face gently. It was like we'd never parted all of a sudden, and I closed my eyes, just enjoying the feeling of her skin against my palm. "I'm glad you came," I said honestly.
Melly kissed the heel of my hand gently and laid her own hand over mine. "I am, too," she said. She moved and I blinked open my eyes. She held out the soup. "Here, eat." She spooned a mouthful and held it out to me.
I laughed, "You're gonna feed me?" I asked.
"I am," she said, laughing back. She leaned closer and held the spoon to my mouth. I took the bite, staring into her eyes. The soup could've tasted like shit and it would've been the best soup I ever ate. Melly smiled as she fed me, her eyes dancing just watching me. "God I never realized how fucking much I missed you until I heard your voice the other day," she confessed.
"I missed you every moment," I answered.
"I didn't let myself feel it," Melly explained, "I knew I couldn't handle it." When the soup was gone, she put the bowl back on the coffee table and leaned closer to kiss me. She ran her hand across my chest gently as our mouths melted into each other. I tried to move to wrap my arms around her, but it hurt too much to twist that direction - every part of my body was sore - and I settled for touching her shoulder while we kissed.
"I guess it's safe to say you knuckleheads got back together, then, eh?"
Melly pulled back and we looked up to see Brian standing in the doorway, a smile on his face. "I just came over to check on ya'll," he added.
"Hey Brian," Melly said, smiling.
"Hey Bri."
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.
"What? I'm resting..." I said, smirking.
"Right," Brian laughed, "Resting. Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"
Melly laughed, "It's better than - what did you use to call it? Oh right, going to church?"
Brian turned red. "It was the only excuse we had to leave Baylee with security on tour, thank you very much." He grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and opened up the fridge and took out my orange juice.
I looked at Melly, who was smiling out at Brian in knowing manner. How could I have thought I could ever replace her with an imaginary girlfriend? I wondered. Welcome back to reality, Nick, I thought.
Melly's giggle cut the dark as I laid my hand on her breast, my arm snaked under her shirt. She wiggled under my touch and I kissed her mouth to quiet her. "I," kiss, "want," kiss, "to kiss," kiss, "every," kiss, "square inch," kiss, "of your body." I held her close.
"Nick," she whispered, her voice lowing as my fingers rolled across her nipple and I kissed down her chin to her neck. Melly's hands found my neck and she began massaging gently. My other hand traveled down her body and over the front of her jeans. I undid the button and she wriggled and I pushed the denim down until she was able to kick them off. I'd been in boxers and a t-shirt all day, there was nothing much to remove from me. "God, you're so amazing," Melly whispered as my hand found its target and I pushed her panties aside to access her.
I can't believe you. The thought wasn't my own. It wasn't even in my own 'voice'. It was Victoria's. From inside me.
A little unnerved, my hand faltered, stopping at a bad moment and Melly whimpered underneath me, returning my attention to her. I used the opportunity to push her shirt over her head gently, her face contorted in desire, and started nipping my way over the lacy bra that confined her perfect breasts while I fought to undo the clasp.
Look at you, having sex with her. She just got her, you're barely back together. She's a whore. Victoria's voice was thick with emotional rage.
"No," I whispered.
"What?" Melly gasped.
I looked up at her, my mind raced for a response, realizing I'd answered Victoria out loud. "No...one compares to you," I said shakily, and before she could register how strangely the words had come out, I managed to pop the bra and my mouth connected with her breasts and she moaned, her head dipping back into the pillows as I nipped and sucked gently, her hips pushing up into my abdomen in a pleading manner.
How can you do this to me, Nick? Victoria demanded.
Stop. Go away, I thought in the general 'direction' of the voice in my head. Just stop, you aren't even real.
This... this was real.
The more my hands and mouth roamed Melly's body and tasted the sweet flavor of her skin, the more I realized that Victoria had never been real, that she'd always be in my head, and as great as my vivid imagination had been... I'd never been satisfied beyond the feeling of a damn good hand job.
Melly scratched my back as I moved past her breasts, kissing across her skin, crawling backwards down the bed. Her hands slid off me as I moved out of her reach, and she bit her lips and hummed little whimpers as my hands parted her thighs and rubbed them softly, staring down at her.
Not real? Victoria's voice in my head just wouldn't stop. I tried to submerge it below my consciousness. You don't think I'm real? Her laughter echoed around the inside of my head. Oh Nicky, Nicky... She paused. If you do this... if you try to leave me... you are going to be so sorry...
No, I won't, I thought, There's nothing you can do to me.
I dropped down between Melly's legs, my mouth kissing softly along her thighs. She twitched in anticipation until finally, I gave her what she wanted and she reached down, her hands on my hair, gasping.
Nothing I can do to you, huh? Victoria demanded, laughing again. Nothing I can do? How about this?
Suddenly an unbelievable, excruciating pain shot through my head. My mouth dropped open and I gasped loudly, a scream caught in my throat, unable to come out, tears falling from my eyes uncontrollably. It was about a million times worse than the most horrible migraine I'd ever had. I felt like my skull was going to explode.
Melly, not realizing what was happening moaned, "Don't stop..."
I pounded my fist into the bed.
"Nick?" Melly sat up, her voice was shaky, but concerned. "Nick?"
Aw, does it hurt? Victoria's voice was teasing.
"Make it stop," I whimpered.
Melly's hands were gentle as she rolled me over, looking down into my eyes, "Nick? What's happening, what hurts, baby?" she asked.
My arms wrapped around my head. I felt like I had to hold it together or it would split open. A sound like the worst feedback I'd ever heard filled my head, bouncing off the inside of my brain and echoing, making it worse and louder and sharper. "Fucking A, fucking A," I sobbed.
Melly's eyes were pure panic. She slid out from under me and started grabbing articles of clothing off the floor, pulling them on and snatching the phone off the bed. I rolled back and forth on the bed. "Stooooop," I sobbed, my words directed to Victoria. Over the noise in my head, I could hear her laughing.
"Brian?" Melly's voice was panicked, "Brian get over here, please - now. Something's very wrong."
You said you'd never hurt me, I screamed in my head.
You said you'd never forget me, she argued, You said I could be your wife, you said you loved me. That you wanted to be with me.
But I love Melly, and she's... she's not my imagination...
Just because I'm in your head doesn't mean I'm not real! Victoria screamed.
My body was so tense, I couldn't move. The pressure in my head seemed to increase every moment I lay there. I had no comprehension of how or when but Brian was suddenly there, talking. I couldn't make out the words, only his presence. His hands were on my shoulders, shaking me gently, trying to get me to talk, but my tongue felt like led.
What are you doing to me?
If you won't be with me out there, Nick, Victoria answered, Then I'm just going to have to keep you in here.
What?
I'm not letting you go, Nick.
Suddenly, I felt like I was on fire. Every inch of my body burned. I started shaking.
Nick! Brian's voice echoed, as though from somewhere far... far away.
Suddenly I was aware I was laying on the floor in a room. I stood up. "Where am I?" I asked, looking around. It was a strange room, like a garage, things hanging up on the walls and tucked into corners. Every square inch of it was stuffed with something. Two huge windows loomed to my left. "What is this place?"
Nick? Jesus, please... Brian's voice sounded the way Victoria's had... as though it was in my head...
Victoria suddenly was there, her hands dragging across my chest as she walked in a full circle around me. My eyes moved around the room. "Where are we?" I asked her. She stopped in front of me and stared up at me.
"I told you Nick. If you won't be with me out there... then I'm keeping you in here..." her mouth slid into a frown. "I told you... it's nearly impossible to get me out of your head once I'm in it." She smiled, "Well.. it's even harder for you to get out."
Bad Romance by Pengi
