Chapter One-Hundred-Fifty-Four
When Brian managed to make it through Mervyns and outside to the parking lot despite his uncooperative son wriggling about in his arms and trying to break free, he carried him over to their parked van.
“I don’t know why you insist on ruining a perfectly good day Josh. Today was supposed to be a fun day – not a day for little boys to throw tantrums.” He lectured as he unlocked the door to the passenger’s side and he reached into the back and unlocked the sliding door before opening it up, setting Josh inside, and closing the door to the front passenger’s seat again. “I bought you toys, I was probably going to buy you some new clothes too – and even ice cream. We were going to stop at Cold Stone to get ice cream. But you had to go and run off,” he added as he climbed into the van and sat down in the seat next to his son. Josh got up and darted for the door but Brian reached out and gently grabbed hold of his arm. Even though his touch was gentle and not in the least bit threatening, Josh tensed up.
“Don’t you dare. If I have to chase you all around this parking lot you will be grounded for a much longer time then you already are,” Brian threatened calmly and he reached over and pushed the side door shut. Josh yanked his arm free as tears cascaded down his cheeks fast and he pushed past Brian and went into the very back of the van. He crawled up onto the seat and sat down before crossing his arms over his chest and staring out the window moodily. Brian turned and rested his arms on the seat before leaning forward and resting his chin on his arm and he looked back at Josh. After a long moment he spoke up again.
“I thought we agreed that you were going to give Riley a chance. Was that not our deal?” Josh didn’t answer Brian’s question. He only continued to sit there glaring out his window and making no sign at all that he had even heard what his father had said.
“Talk to me Joshua.”
“No.”
“You have two choices. If you don’t talk to me then you and I will continue to sit in this van for the rest of the time that we’re here. I will turn the air conditioner on and everything and we will just sit here. Or if you talk to me, you may have a chance to get yourself out of being grounded. Take your pick.” Josh turned then and hugged his legs to his chest as he sat huddled in the far corner of the van and he looked at Brian in defeat. He can’t get himself grounded. He has to be there for Ellie – and for Kota too. He could just see the look of disappointment on her face now if she found out he can’t play with her. He can’t do that to her.
“Now…are you going to tell me why you decided to turn what could have been a perfectly good day into a bad one in only an hour Josh? And why you broke your promise that you made to me about giving Riley a chance?”
“It would have been a perfectly good day if it were just you and me,” Josh muttered and he looked away from Brian.
“Well I’m sorry but it’s not just you and me. Riley is living with us and is my girlfriend. She is going to be spending a lot of time with us. You are just going to have to learn to accept that. I was hoping that you would keep your promise that you made to me and give her a chance. She is not the horrible person you’ve made her out to be – I promise.”
“Yes, but every time she is around all you seem to care about is her.”
“That is not true.”
“Yes it is too true!” Josh snapped, his voice rising somewhat.
“Joshua there is no need for you to shout at me,” Brian replied patiently.
“If you would listen to me I wouldn’t have to shout at you.”
“I listen to you all the time. Do not act like I don’t because you know very well that I care about what you have to say.”
“Not when it comes to Riley. You get mad at me all the time.”
“I’ve listened to your feelings about Riley and I even told you that I understand. But I also told you that she is not like that anymore and I’ve asked you to please try and give her a chance to prove that. But so far I haven’t had the impression that you’ve tried at all.”
“But you didn’t listen to all of my feelings about Riley,” Josh insisted angrily.
“Yes I did.”
“No you did not!” Brian sighed heavily.
“Fine Josh…what did I fail to listen to?”
“I told you that I wanted you for myself right now. That I didn’t want to share you…and now here you are trying to make me share you and I don’t WANT to.”
“I promised that I wouldn’t marry her unless it was okay with you first. But Josh she is my girlfriend so you have to share me just a tiny bit.”
“It seems like I have to share you an awful lot.” Brian opened his mouth to protest but Josh quickly interrupted.
“Don’t tell me that it’s not true! Because it is! You hardly spend any time with me. You yell at Nick for not spending enough time with Kota and here you are doing the exact same thing!” He exclaimed in a raised voice and then he calmed down and spoke in a calmer tone but Brian could hear his voice trembling. “I’ve only had you as a dad for a short time and here you are already asking me to share you. It’s not fair!” Brian sighed and looked the other way, as he knows his son is right. He is nothing but a big hypocrite. He loves Riley and he wants Josh to love her too because the two of them both mean everything to him and deep down in his heart he does want to be able to propose to the woman he loves some day. But if Josh can’t learn to love her then how is that supposed to happen? How is he supposed to be with Riley without making Josh resent him for it? He can’t choose between them, they both mean too much to him. It is not even an option. He has to make it work. After a few moments he finally turned to look at Josh to find that the boy had turned and looked away from him too. Even with his head turned though, Brian can still see that he is silently crying.
“Come here Josh…” Brian spoke quietly.
“I don’t want to,” Josh insisted stubbornly.
“Please? I want to work this out, I really do.” After a minute of thinking about it Josh finally caved. He stood up and walked around the seat that was separating the two and he stood in front of his father but made sure to keep his distance. Brian reached out to gently take Josh by the arm but Josh yanked it away before he could. Brian looked startled.
“Don’t touch my arm…please…” It was then that Brian remembered the bruises that still covered Josh’s arms where Sean had grabbed him at when he had him. His back is still scarred up too and he knows it’s not much different with Ellie.
“I’m sorry buddy I didn’t think…” Brian immediately apologized, inwardly cursing himself. No wonder he had sat so far away from him. Brian scooted closer to him and he gently gathered Josh into his lap before enveloping him in his arms and hugging him close. Josh leaned into him and Brian bent down and kissed the top of his head before lightly brushing his tears away. “Why don’t you tell me how to make this work?” He spoke after a long while when he knew Josh had calmed down some. “How can I help you forgive Riley for her past mistakes? How can I make things easier for you?”
“Kota gets Daddy and Kota time…it seems to be working for her…she hasn’t been mean to Sarah in awhile.”
“So if I give you daddy and Josh time, you will think about letting Riley in? You don’t have to right away…but at least think about it?”
“Brian and Josh time would make me very happy,” Josh replied softly.
“Then that is what we will do,” Brian announced and he rested his chin lightly on top of Josh’s head as he gently rubbed his hand over his back.
“How about we come back here tomorrow? Just the two of us?”
“But…If I’m grounded…aren’t I supposed to stay in my room?”
“I think if you be good and cooperative for the rest of the day…there will be no need to ground you. We will just forget it happened – erase it completely. Deal?” Josh smiled slightly as he looked up at Brian.
“Okay.”
“Good…now come on let’s go find everybody,” Brian replied, managing to slip back into slight cheerful mode and he opened up the door to the van and climbed out with Josh. He shut the van and locked it up before carrying his son back into the mall. Josh slid his arms around him and rested his head against Brian’s shoulder not caring how much of a sissy this makes him look. It doesn’t really matter to him much anymore if he is a sissy or not – because he knows Brian won’t yell at him for it. It took them awhile to find everybody, but just as they were walking up to cold stone they spotted them all sitting at a round table eating ice cream.
“Hey Brian, is everything okay now?” Nick questioned, and he eyed his best friend with concern. He doesn’t look the same to him. He’s smiling on the outside, but Nick just knows it’s all just an act. He just seems very off to him and Nick would know the difference before anybody else.
“Yeah Nick everything’s great,” Brian grinned, and he pulled up two extra chairs from an empty table and set Josh in it.
“What kind of ice cream do you want Josh?” Nick narrowed his eyes at the older man, but he said nothing. Brian would never let him lie to his face like that.
“Chocolate chip cookie dough,” Josh answered, and Brian nodded and hurried off to buy the two of them ice cream. Josh looked over at Riley then who was sitting between Kori and Wiley and he noticed how red her eyes are – she’s been crying. He can also see the disappointment on her face. She is upset that Brian hadn’t even so much as looked at her.
~*~*~*~*~
“So where should we go after this?” Q questioned Aaron as the two of them sat in a booth near the window eating pizza. Aaron had suggested to Q that they sit near the window so Aaron would be able to look out at the town in hopes that he would spot Stacy walking around out there. Little did either of them know though, they had just missed each other by five minutes on their way out of the park.
“I don’t know,” Aaron answered bitterly, not having a single clue as to where to look next. He can’t believe he hasn’t spotted her yet. This is such a small town there isn’t very many places to go – he thought it would be easy. Q who seemed to have read the young boy’s mind looked at Aaron sympathetically. He can really tell that he cares a lot about this girl a lot.
“You ran into her at Wal-Mart the other day…what are the chances that she might be there again?” he suggested. “And I know for a fact that there is an arcade down the street from Wal-Mart – I bet all of the kids hang out there.”
“Kay,” Aaron nodded.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile, at the Littrell Household, it took Ryan hours to straighten up the mess he had made of his and Laila’s toys up in the bedroom that he shares with Howie, AJ, and Laila, for he had scattered them everywhere out of anger. It looks like two twin tornadoes had invaded the bedroom and destroyed everything in their path. As he picked up his toys he made sure to cast angry glares toward the bed that AJ shares with his sister. He very much dislikes the man who took her so far away from him. The man who keeps trying to insist that Laila belongs to him when it’s a fact that she does not. He is going to be sorry when he has to give her back to his mom he knows that for sure. And they will be going back to his mother. He is going to make sure of it. When Howie lets him call his mom later he is going to beg her to get better because he wants to go home. When he had finally finished cleaning he went on downstairs to find that Howie was no where to be seen and everybody else was sitting on the couches in the living room talking. Jackie was the first to notice the nine year old walk into the room and she smiled at him kindly.
“Hey Ryan, are you finished cleaning your room?” Ryan nodded.
“Where is Howie?”
“He is out in the backyard talking on the phone.” Ryan turned and headed for the kitchen and he disappeared inside it before anyone had a chance to stop him. When he got in there he went to the back door, opened it up, and he went outside to discover that Howie was indeed out there. He had gathered up all of the paint and put it on the table out there and he had gotten fresh paper and laid them out for Ryan later. He is standing next to the table and he is like Jackie had told him on the phone. He turned and looked though when he heard the door open and he smiled at the sight of him.
“Hey, Ryan just walked out. I have to go. Yeah I will call you later and let you know how it went. Cool…bye.” He spoke into the phone and then he closed his phone and turned his attention back on the curious boy.
“Did you clean up your toys?”
“Uh-huh.”
“That’s good…come sit down.” Ryan went over and crawled up into one of the chairs at the table.
“Do I get to call my mom?”
“Yes, but you can’t talk long okay?” Howie answered as he sat down in the chair and he turned and faced the little boy who suddenly glared at Howie.
“She is my mom. I should be able to talk to her for however long I want.”
“Your mom is very sick right now buddy…for now you are only allowed fifteen minutes. I don’t make the rules Ryan. If I had it my way you would be able to talk to her all you want.”
“When do I get to visit her?” Howie hesitated a moment before answering this question as he eyed Ryan warily. He doesn’t want to give him any false hopes.
“Detective Stabler told me if things go well you may get to see her after we get back into Florida.” Ryan grinned a little.
“But it’s not a sure thing Ryan...Please keep that in mind alright? The last thing I want is for you to get your hopes up only to end up being disappointed in the end. It all depends on how well your mom is doing.”
“Don’t you think that it would help my mom get better if she got to see and talk to her kids?”
“I do buddy and that’s why I spent hours convincing Detective Stabler to allow you to talk to her. I think you have a right to talk to her and I think it would make all the difference in the world.”
“If we get to go and see my mom are you and AJ going to come with us?”
“Yes,” Howie answered honestly. “Is that okay?”
“We really only need you to take us,” Ryan insisted.
“AJ has to come with us too.”
“Why?” Ryan asked, not even bothering to hide his irritation.
“Because he is Laila’s caregiver and I am yours. Your mother will want to meet the two people who have been taking care of her kids all of this time.” Ryan scowled.
“Can I call her now?”
“Yes…but I want you to know that when your ten minutes is up I am going to talk to her for a few minutes. Okay?” Ryan nodded and Howie opened his cell phone up, glanced at one of the papers on the table and he dialed a number that he had written on it. When he finished dialing he waited as the phone rung and a couple of seconds later a woman answered. Ryan sat and listened as Howie talked on the phone and then after a few moments, he handed the phone over to Ryan.
“Hello? Mom?” Ryan asked hopefully into the phone, and he got up and walked away from Howie wanting his privacy.
“Hi baby!” exclaimed his mother on the phone. She sounds so excited, yet Ryan can hear it in her voice that she is trying very hard not to break down and cry. “I miss you! How are you doing? How is your sister? I’ve been told you have two very nice caregivers taking care of you. Have they been treating you okay? Are you having fun?”
“Howie is great to me but I miss you so much mom. I want you to get better now. I want to come home.” Ryan insisted as a single tear rolled down his cheek and he sat down under a tree and hugged his legs to his chest. He rested his head against one of his knees as he held the phone to his other ear and talked to his mom.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.
Enjoy =)
Enjoy =)
