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Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Eight



-A week later-


It’s been a week and just as AJ had predicted, things did not get any better between Nick and Ashley. Infact, everything was beginning to go down hill very fast. Ashley and Brandon had been sneaking off together to work on her surprise for Nick. And though Nick was pretty much aware of where Ashley was at those times, he was starting to get suspicious - especially when her and Brandon kept bumping into each other and having conversations that seemed to almost be in code, so nobody else would - or could - understand. To AJ’s surprise, he didn’t yell or throw a fit like he feared that he would. Instead, he got very quiet and moody, and very distant with Ashley. But that was a lot worse then actually throwing a fit because he could just see his baby sister’s heart breaking the further Nick distanced himself from her. AJ was prepared for him to act like this, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling frustrated, and having urges to lash out at Nick. He feels very torn between the two of them. He’s not sure whether he is supposed to support his sister, or his best friend and it’s driving him nuts. Right now, it’s a Monday afternoon and Ashley was headed back from the private room that she and Brandon go to everyday to work on their art project to her own room. When she got in there, she found Nick sitting on the bed by himself reading a book. When he looked up at her as she entered, she tensed up as she can feel that he is not in a good mood. But when is he ever anymore?


“Where is Bella?” she asked softly, as she bent down to greet an excited Abbie.


“I asked Brian to take her for awhile.”


“Why?”


“I had a headache and needed a break,” Nick answered shortly, not even bothering to look up from his book. Ashley went and crawled into bed and she sat next to him, hugging her legs close to her chest before looking at him quietly. Nick continued to read, as though there was no interruption.


“How long are you going to keep this up?” She asked softly after awhile.


“Keep what up?” Nick asked while shrugging. “Do you have a problem with me reading a book?”


“No, I have a problem with you shutting me out like this.”


“Well, I have a problem with you sneaking around behind my back but you still do it.”


“I am not sneaking around behind your back. I tell you where I go every day there is a difference.”


“But you can’t – no let me rephrase – you won’t tell me what you’re doing when you go off with him.”


“Why should I have to?”


“You’re my girlfriend. You know…the whole honesty thing, it’s kind of an important key to a relationship.”


“So is trust, but you don’t trust me so there we go…we’re even. I have been completely honest with you from the very beginning. It’s not my fault you choose not to believe me.”


“I can understand that you want to be his friend. But what I don’t understand is why you two have to sneak off by yourselves to some room in the orphanage – with the door locked and not tell anyone what you are doing? Sounds very suspicious to me.”


“If you trusted me, it wouldn’t be suspicious.”


“How am I supposed to trust you, Ashley? I don’t even see you anymore. I haven’t seen you at all in the past week unless at meal times – or bedtime, but that is all. You leave Bella with me – who by the way is supposed to be your responsibility and disappear for all hours of the day. If you are only his friend why is it that he sees you more then I do?”


“We’ve just been really busy…” Ashley answered, her voice cracking slightly as she tried not to cry.


“Busy doing what? Sleeping with each other behind my back?” Nick asked, not being able to stall on the question any longer.


“Do you really believe I could do that to you?”


“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t know you very well anymore, you’re always with him!”


“Did you ever stop to think that my intentions might be good?”


“Well then if they are, why can’t you tell me what you’re doing?”

“I am tired of explaining this to you Nick.”


“Well I am tired of all of the secrets.” Ashley crossed her arms over her chest and looked away for him as tears fell from her eyes. He stared at her for a long while before speaking again.


“Maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore if I can’t even trust you to be honest with me. I can’t be with someone who keeps all of these secrets from me. I’ve dealt with that one too many times in my life…I really thought you were different.” Ashley looked at him again and Nick had to look away in order to not see the hurt in her eyes. It was a long time before she spoke, but when she did, it was surprisingly calm, despite the slight falter in her tone.


“Fine…if that’s what you want Nicky…I’ll go ask Brookie if I can have another room. AJ will help me move my stuff. I’ll be out of here in no time,” She told him softly and she got up from her spot on the bed. She waited for him to ask her to stay and when he made no sign of doing so, she turned and walked out of the room. She went down the hall to AJ and Howie’s room and when she walked in, she found AJ sitting on the bed watching Howie play playstation with Ryan while he held Laila in his lap at the same time and let her help him every now and then. Ashley went straight for AJ and she collapsed into his arms before breaking down nto sobs. Howie paused the game and turned around looking concerned and AJ wrapped his arms tightly around Ashley, hugging her close protectively.


“Sweetheart…what happened? What’s wrong?”


“Nicky…br-o-oke up with m-me…”


“What??”


“S-sa-ys…he can’t be with someone who keeps secrets from him.” AJ sighed heavily and he rubbed his hand over her back as he kissed her forehead softly, his heart breaking into a thousand little pieces as he knows his sister’s is at this very moment. He looked at Howie who looked incredulous. After a few moments he gently pulled back from her.


“Why don’t you stay here with Howie okay? I’ll be right back,” he suggested.


“Kay…” he got up then and he stormed out of the room headed for Nick’s. When he got in there, he found nick standing at the dresser gazing at a picture of him and Ashley together. He grabbed him by the arm, whirled him around to face him and he glared at him with dark eyes.


“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t hit you right now!”


“I had to do it AJ, I just had to!” Nick insisted as tears rolled down his face.


“WHY!? You better have a damn good reason, Carter because MY sister’s heart is breaking in there! Something you promised that you would never be responsible for!” AJ yelled.


“AND YOU DON’T THINK THAT MINE IS? I CAN’T put up with this anymore AJ, it’s hurting me having to sit here and watch her sneak around with Brandon behind my back! Without so much as an explanation!”


“She’s doing it for you, you jackass!” AJ snapped, lightly shoving Nick back but being sure to make him see how angry he is.


“What?”


“That’s right! She’s doing it all for your stupid ass! She’s working on a surprise for you! That’s why she wouldn’t tell you! She was trying to surprise you because she loves you! I mean goddamn Nick, are you that blind? You’re her whole world and she can’t live without you! She doesn’t want Brandon, she wants you!” AJ explained. “She has her heart set on you so you had better start shaping up or I swear Nick it’s me you’ll be dealing with!” He threatened and he gave him one last dirty look, before letting him go and turning around and he left the room. Nick feeling completely horrible, went over and lay in bed and he stared at the wall not believing his stupidity. He lay there for a half n hour and then he got up and walked out of the room and down the hall to AJ and Howie’s room and found Ashley lying on the bed with her head rested on a pillow placed in AJ’s lap. Laila is asleep and also lying with her head in AJ’s lap and AJ, Howie, and Ryan were all watching TV quietly. They looked at Nick as he entered though, and when Ashley saw it was him she looked away as another tear fell from her eyes and AJ rubbed his hand over her back in attempt to soother her. He looked at Nick still slightly angry with him. Nick went around to the side Ashley was lying on and sat down next to her and he took her hand into his and gently rubbed his finger over the back of it.


“I know I was a complete asshole baby…and I know it’s going to take a lot more then an apology this time…but is there anyway possible that you could ever forgive me?” he asked softly. Ashley didn’t answer, she only sat up and turned and slid her arms around AJ before burying her face in his shoulder. AJ rubbed his hand over her back in slow circular motion.


“Please?”


“Nick I think you just need to let her calm down. You really hurt her this time.”


“I know this AJ, thanks.” Nick snapped somewhat.


“Don’t you start acting that way with me Nickolas. I’m just saying if you ever want her to come around you need to let her calm down. Alright?” Nick didn’t reply, he only leaned forward and kissed the back of Ashley’s head and he once again squeezed her hand gently as she never let go of it.


“I love you baby…you know where to find me. In our room where you belong,” he told her softly and he let go of her hand before getting up and he walked out of the room. AJ looked down at Ashley to find her already looking up at him and he placed his finger to her cheek lightly caressing it.


“He sounded very sincere sweetie…he did mean it. And in all fairness, he didn’t know you had good intentions. He reacted like any boyfriend would when he has no idea what’s going on.”


“That’s no excuse for what he said…he really hurt me Alex.”


“I know honey…I’m not trying to make excuses for him. I’m just saying that he’s a human and makes mistake just like the rest of us. I do happen to know however that despite his stupid mistakes…he loves you very much. I know you love him too and I also know that you’re very forgiving when it comes to the people you love.” Ashley didn’t reply she only buried her face in AJ’s shoulder and he hugged her close to him.


“I know you aren’t ready right now, but eventually you’re going to find it in your heart to forgive him. I know you honey, he’s way too important to you…” she sat with AJ for a half n hour, and then she got up from the bed.


“Where are you going?”


“To talk to Brookie. Will you and Howie go and get all of my things from Nicky’s room please?” she asked as a teardrop fell from her eyes. “I’m moving into another room.”


“Why don’t you go stay with mom? Get out of the orphanage for a while.” Ashley shook her head.


“I have Bella to think about. And Dakota and Sarah…this is going to be hard on Dakota enough as it is. I want her to know I’m still here for her. Plus I…I can’t go too far from him…”


“Okay,” AJ replied, respecting her wishes even though he knows this is going to kill Nick having to watch her move out of their room. Ashley walked out of the room and AJ looked at Howie, who looked at Ryan.


“Watch your sister for me.”


“Kay,” Ryan replied and Howie got up and followed AJ out into the hall and they went down to Nick’s room and walked in to find him sitting on his bed hugging his legs to his chest. He looked at them curiously as they walked in.


“We’ve come to get Ashley’s things,” AJ explained gently while not making eye contact.


“Why? They belong in here.”


“She’s asked us to,” Howie answered. “She went to talk to Brooke about moving into another room.”


“It’s not happening. She belongs in here with me,” Nick insisted as he stood up.


“I need you to respect her wishes Nick. You brought this on yourself. The least you can do is give her sometime to mend her shattered heart,” AJ insisted as he went to the closet and started taking out his sister’s clothes. Howie helped him by gathering all of Bella’s stuff. By the time they were finished, Brooke and Ashley walked in.


“The only room I have for her right now is with Sarah. She’s agreed to stay in that room with her.” AJ nodded and began moving her stuff out of the room and Howie did the same. Ashley took one look at Nick and saw the tears staining his beautiful features. She knows that this is killing him but he brought this all on himself. He’s the one who broke up with her so obviously he doesn’t want her anymore. He broke her heart. How can she ever forgive him for that? Especially since he promised her he never would. Nick went over to her then and he dropped to his knees in front of her before sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her near.


“Baby please…don’t do this to me.”


“You did this to yourself Nick,” she told him while trying very hard not to cry again. “You’re the one who told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”


“I didn’t mean it, I was stupid and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I’ll make it up to you…I’ll do anything just please don’t leave me.”


“Nick I can’t put up with this. You don’t trust me. How can I be with someone who doesn’t trust me? And you broke my heart. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that.”


“But I love you…”


“If you love me…if you really truly love me you’ll let me go,” she insisted and Nick let go of her but continued to stare up at her through tears. Ashley looked down at her ring then just as AJ stepped in the doorway. He and Nick watched her rub her finger lightly over it, and could see her contemplating hard. After a few seconds, she slid it to the end of her finger, paused and then pushed it back in it’s rightful place and she turned and stormed out of the room sobbing. AJ looked at Nick sympathetically, once again feeling torn between the two. After battling it out on which he should comfort, he turned and went after Ashley. Howie who had also been there to see what just happened just stood there watching Nick. Nick crawled over to the bed and sat down on the floor leaning against it and he hugged his legs to his chest, buried his face in his lap and he too began sobbing. Howie sighed and he went over and sat next to him. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and just sat there with him quietly. Nick leaned into Howie, slid both arms around him and went on crying. Howie rubbed his hand over his back.


“If its any help at all…” he spoke softly after awhile when Nick began to calm down some. “She refused to go stay with Denise because she couldn’t handle being that far away from you. She still has her ring on Nick, she’s still yours and she always will be. She loves you. You just need to fight for her.”


“She’s asked me to let her go.”


“Yes…I know. But she never said you couldn’t love her anymore. That’s one thing she can’t control. Only you can. She’s just right next door buddy…and right now she needs you to fight for her. Be the romantic guy I know you can be when you want to. Send her flowers, chocolates, and love notes. Remind her every day what you two had…and still have. Let her know you aren’t giving up – from a distance and eventually she’ll find it in her heart to forgive. You really hurt her this time Nick…you just need to keep your distance and let her come to you when she’s ready.”


“What if she never is? What if I hurt her so much that it’s really over for us?” Nick sniffled.


“If it were really over she would’ve moved in with Denise. And she would have taken her ring off. She’s holding onto you Nick. The question is, how long are you going to keep her hanging?” Nick didn’t reply, he only hugged Howie tight, feeling very grateful to at least have him. But it doesn’t surprise him much. Howie has always been neutral in everything.


“I know you know what to do to make her happy. You’re the best at it,” he announced. “Where are the kids?”


“Brian took them to the park…all three of them,” Nick answered softly. “Dakota is going to be devastated.” Howie didn’t reply, he only gave Nick one last hug, and then he got up and walked out of the room leaving Nick alone to think things over.


~*~*~*~*~


Later on that day Nick went downstairs to help set up dinner. It was the least he could do seeing as how he made no interaction with any of the children what so ever, except with his own two. Brooke against her better judgement let him pretty much have the day off knowing how upset he is but part of her wanted to say ‘tough. You brought this all on yourself.’ But she loves Nick way too much to do the whole tough love thing. He, Brian, and Kevin are more like family to her then employees. She wonders sometimes why her other employees are so okay with it, but then remembers because they all get treated like family too. When Nick got downstairs he went into the cafeteria where he found Kevin, Howie, Brian, AJ, and Riley. They all looked at him as he entered and then went back to what they’re doing, none of them very pleased with him in the least bit. The only person who walked up to him was Brian.


“Where are Kota and Sarah?” he asked curiously.


“Upstairs with Ashley. They’re all mad at me. Everybody is mad at me. Everywhere I go I get dirty looks – even from caregivers outside our little circle. Seems like the whole building was rooting for me and Ashley.” Brian rolled his eyes.


“Why do you think that is Nick?” Nick shrugged his shoulders.


“Come here, let me show you something,” He replied and he glanced at AJ. AJ nodded and Brian grabbed Nick'’ arm and pulled him over to a small TV that he borrowed from security. He lightly pushed him into a chair and put a DVD into the DVD player. He noticed as Brian put it in that it was labeled Nick and Ashley.


“What is this?” Nick asked curiously, but fell silent as his question was answered for him in Green calligraphy front ‘Nick and Ashley’s Memories’. He watched as pictures of him and Ashley from the past came on the screen. They’re all pictures of them being lovey dovey with each other and Nick read the captions underneath each picture.


“Howie and AJ have been taking pictures of the two of you, and video recording you since day one without either of you realizing it. Some of this was even taken off of security cameras,” Brian explained as he watched his best friend watch the video with tears rolling down his cheeks and realization in his eyes. When it got to a picture of the two of them sitting on the bench in the mall on the day they made headlines, Brian grabbed the remote and pressed pause. It was at the part where Ashley had her arms wrapped around him and their foreheads were touching as they talked quietly to one another.


“Look at the way she looks at you Nick. Does that look like a girl who would ever break your heart?” he questioned, and he pressed play again, letting it go on until it was at a picture from the first night they arrived in Kentucky. The guys are all playing basketball and Ashley is sitting on the driveway with the kids while they drew on the sidewalk with chalk. He paused it again right on Ashley as she was gazing at Nick in a daze, looking at him like he is the only other person in the world besides her. Just the way Nick likes it. Brian looked at him.


“She looks pretty in love to me,” he told him and then let the video go on again until it got to the part where someone had taken a picture of Ashley’s chalk message Nick and Ashley forever. Brian paused it then.



“If she’s writing it on sidewalks it must be true,” Brian commented and he pushed play again letting Nick watch the entire thing now that he had made his point. When it ended Nick looked up at Brian watery eyes.


“Everybody is pissed off at you because it is not the same without Nick and Ashley. You two are the cutest couple ever. Everybody wishes they had what you have Nick. I’ve never seen a couple so in love before and that’s saying something seeing as how I love Riley with all of my heart.”


“I know I made a huge mistake…the mother of all mistakes…what do I have to do to get her to see how sorry I am?” Brian shrugged.


“Use your imagination. I’m not going to walk you through this one Nick, you’re on your own,” he insisted. “Maybe when you decide what to do I’ll help you, but until then you’re on your own,” he added and he went back to join the others. Nick got up and followed and he began to help too. After awhile though, Kori walked into the room and she went straight over to Nick and smacked him upside the head.


“Ow! What the hell was that for?” he yelled.


“That’s for hurting my sister, you jackass! Why don’t you go on up there and put her back to the way she was, right now!”


“She doesn’t want me up there, believe me I’ve tried,” Nick informed as he rubbed at his head.


“Oh yes she does! She needs you right now Nick, can’t you see her aching for you? Or are you really that blind?”


“She asked me to leave her alone. I know from experience that when she says that she means it.”


“Then you don’t know her that well at all. She wants you up there.”


“Did she tell you that?”


“No but she doesn’t have to. It’s written in her eyes – I’m her sister I know these things.”


“She made it perfectly clear that she wants nothing to do with me.”


“So that’s it then? You’re just going to let her lay up there and ache for you just because my sister says things she doesn’t mean when she’s upset?”


“I’m just respecting her wishes.”


“You’re an asshole,” Kori insisted, and she turned and stormed out of the cafeteria again. Nick sighed heavily and looked at everybody else who wasn’t even playing any attention to him what so ever and he turned and left the cafeteria. He was headed for the elevator when he suddenly bumped into Brandon.


“Hey…” Nick greeted softly.


“Hey,” Brandon replied calmly, though he knows he’s been to see Ashley, because he’s not very pleased with him either.


“I…” Nick began but Brandon shook his head.


“Come here Nick, I want to show you something,” he announced and he took Nick by the arm gently and led him down toward a hall. They walked a long the many rooms until they came across the one he and Ashley had been hiding in for the past week. He unlocked the door with his Key and they went inside. Nick looked around the room and saw that it looked like a big tornado of art supplies came through and left the art stuff behind – scattered everywhere. He saw one art easel with a blanket over it and another one completely uncovered. He led Nick to that one and indicated toward it. Nick peered at it to see a very exquisite drawing of Peyton. It was sketched with a special pencil and Nick can tell Brandon had used pastels and colored pencils. It looks like something you would find in a museum. It’s a very nice portrait of Peyton from her shoulders and up and he can tell that he is very fascinated with her blonde curls and her green eyes because he paid special attention to those the most. Nick looked at Brandon curiously and found him gazing at the painting as if it’s his greatest masterpiece yet.


“I’m completely, unbelievably, set my heart on fire right now infatuated with Peyton,” he announced after a few seconds and he looked at Nick straight in the eyes so he could see how serious he is. “She is the one I have my heart set on, not Ashley. We’re just friends, nothing more. The only thing I like about her is that she’s got potential of being an artist and could make a brilliant author some day. She is also easy to talk to and she’s a pretty amazing friend too. I could never try to take her away from you. I’ve only been around for a week but it doesn’t take very long to see how in love you’re with her – how in love she is with you. She doesn’t stop talking about you, man. You’re pretty lucky if you ask me.” He explained. “This is my room – well actually, it’s more of an art studio then anything. Brooke allowed me to have it years ago when her and I first met and I started visiting Steve over the holidays. I keep it locked so no one will come in here while I am gone. Only Brooke has the extra key – and Steve. Take a look around though – see a bed anywhere? That’s because I don’t have one. I prefer not to because I can live on only a couple of hours asleep. During the rest of the time I’m usually painting – or writing. Trust me Nick, these hard tile floors are not the most comfortable place to have sex on. So I think it’s pretty much safe to say we haven’t been sleeping together behind your back. Okay?” Nick nodded quietly.


“I owe you an apology…”


“No, you owe your girlfriend one. She’s falling apart up there, Nick. Kori and Wiley had to take Bella for her because she is in no condition to be taking care of her. She’s stopped talking completely, and the only way she communicates is by notepad.”


“Oh jeez…” Nick replied softly, and he turned and walked out of the room.