Chapter Two-Hundred-Sixty-Eight
AJ sat in his spot on the couch for an hour, just watching TV. Jerald and Harry had gone off to their rooms to do their own thing and he was left sitting there by himself. After sitting there for an hour after he put Ellie down for the night, he turned the TV off, got up, and went to Kevin’s room and he poked his head in to see Jerald just getting into his bed, which is located by the window.
“I’m going for a walk. Listen for Ellie okay?”
“Okay,” Jerald replied while smiling some, as he has an idea where this walk will take him. AJ turned and walked toward the front door then. He opened it up and walked out into the hall shutting the door behind him before heading in the direction of his own Penthouse. When he got down there, he opened the door and walked right in to find Kevin walking around the living room with a fussy Laila. She has her arms wrapped around Kevin, her head rested against his shoulder and she is crying, saying the word ‘J’ over and over again as she does. Kevin looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and AJ went over and gently took Laila from him before turning her around and bringing her close to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder instead and he kissed her forehead softly as he stood there slowly swaying with her in his arms. Kevin gratefully allowed this, as he was getting ready to cave and go get AJ in the first place.
“Hi baby…hey…what are you giving Kevin a hard time for huh?” he asked gently, and he rubbed his hand over her back in slow circular motion. Laila whimpered into his shoulder, and he looked at Kevin with eyes full of concern.
“I got her to go to sleep, but she keeps waking up on and off wanting you and Brooke,” Kevin explained. AJ kissed Laila’s forehead again and he carried her over to the table where Howie’s laptop and webcam were. He sat down with her in his lap and turned the laptop on and he set the webcam up so that it would go right to Brooke, before turning it on and he saw his girlfriend sitting at her desk working on something. He couldn’t help but smile some.
“Brookie,” he spoke, and she looked up in alarm.
“Hey…didn’t I already talk to you once tonight?” she asked while smiling some.
“Yeah you did, but there is a certain little one who didn’t get her chance,” he explained while rubbing his hand over Laila’s back. He turned her around so she could see Brooke, and her whole face lit up in a smile.
“Brookie!”
“Hi baby,” Brooke smiled, and she put her pen down and turned her full attention on the two-year-old that she adores and began a conversation with her just as Howie came walking out of his room. Laila had suddenly stopped crying which is a miracle all by itself, and he heard AJ’s voice and was curious.
“What’s he doing here?” Howie asked Kevin quietly. Kevin shrugged.
“I don’t know, but at this point it’s a good thing.” Howie nodded quietly as he stood there listening to Brooke and Laila talk, which is always the sweetest thing to listen to. Brooke has such an amazing connection with her. AJ let the conversation go on for a good ten minutes, and then he had Laila say her good byes and love you’s before he said his own and then he got up and he carried Laila into their room. Kevin and Howie followed them and they stood in the doorway as they watched AJ put Laila in bed as if it were nothing. He had a full on conversation with her, told her he loves her, and sang her to sleep and when she was he kissed her forehead softly before pulling her blanket up on her and he stood up and turned and looked at his bandmates standing in the doorway. They turned around and walked out into the living room and AJ followed.
“You definitely have a way with her, that’s for sure…” Kevin admitted softly, and AJ nodded.
“And you have a way with Ellie too that I could never begin to replace.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s always easy,” Kevin reminded.
“Oh I know…believe me I know…” AJ replied, looking down at his feet as he shuffled them in the carpet and he shoved his hands in his pockets. Howie turned and headed back to his room deciding this is none of his business. Not that he won’t be able to hear the whole thing in his room.
“So I take it she gave you a hard time tonight?”
“Like you don’t already know. You’re the one who put her up to it right?” AJ asked, looking up at Kevin with an annoyed expression on his face.
“I know I shouldn’t have but I wanted you to get an idea of what it’s like for me. You would have done the same thing wouldn’t you?”
“Do you really think I’m that irresponsible?” Kevin shrugged.
“Well, thanks a lot for thinking so low of me Kev I appreciate it. I really feel the love.”
“It’s not that I think you’re so irresponsible that you would do that, I just think that you have so little respect of me that you would do anything to see that I have a bad time.”
“I didn’t tell Laila to throw a tantrum for you Kev. She gave you a hard time because she has a fear of people leaving her. She’s so attached to Brooke and me that she can’t go too long without either one of us without thinking we’ve abandoned her the way she thinks her mom and dad did. She’s a baby and doesn’t understand. All she sees is people leaving her and it terrifies her. I had nothing to do with it except for going down the hall. That’s it. So if you want to talk about someone who would do anything to see that their bandmate has a hard time, look at yourself in the mirror. I’ve never done anything that low.” Kevin looked at him in silence for a few moments, before finally speaking.
"Everyone is allowed to stoop to a low level, if they think it will get their point across quicker. And as for her tantrum, well, it's Ellie. She'd have thrown one for you anyways."
“Not as bad as she did tonight. You should have seen her, she was a monster.” AJ informed, and Kevin rolled his eyes.
“Don’t exaggerate Alex. A little kicking and screaming isn’t that bad. I go through that every night.”
“She didn’t just kick and scream, Kevin.” AJ snapped somewhat. “She ran around the hotel room in her underwear, and then opened the door and ran out of the room and I chased her down the hall as she made Tarzan noises and did ninjistu all the way through it. Then when she got to the stairs, she ran down them despite my orders and ran through the hotel lobby and nearly ran into two guys carrying a big wedding cake. Luckily Jerry was down there and grabbed her and he helped me carry her up the stairs. But it didn’t end there. The whole way up, she kicked, and screamed, and cussed, and acted like a little brat the whole way back to our hotel room,” AJ explained. “Finally when we reached our hotel room, I took her in the bathroom and showed her a bar of soap. I told her that the next time she cusses when I am in charge of her, I’m going to stick it in her mouth for five minutes and that got her to behave. She finally let me get her into her pajamas and put her to bed after that.”
“Okay, fine. That may not have been her normal tantrum but at least you get the idea.” AJ rolled his eyes.
“Yeah. Gee. Thanks.” Kevin shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well, I can see you haven’t learned anything yet,” Kevin commented.
“You know, I am really sick of you always criticizing me,” AJ replied calmly, and he raked his fingers through his hair in frustration as he looked away from Kevin. He is really starting to regret going to see Kevin in the first place.
"I don't always criticize you, A.J.," Kevin answered. "I look out for you."
"You mean, there's a difference?" A.J. snapped slightly. "Every time I turn around, you're constantly breathing down my neck about something."
"Oh, I am not," Kevin argued.
"What do I have to do to make you see that?" A.J. demanded. "Because I am sick of you making me feel like a worthless piece of shit!" Kevin blinked.
"I have never - !"
"You have so!" A.J. growled. "I can't do a damned thing right in your eyes! Nothing is ever good enough for you!"
"That's not true A.J.!" Kevin protested.
"Then tell me, when have I ever made you proud?" A.J. rejoined. "Tell me Kevin! When?!?!?!?" Kevin frowned.
"Can't think of anything, can you?" A.J. muttered.
"I can so, Alex! If you'd give me a damned moment to word it right, before jumping to the wrong conclusions!" Kevin snapped.
"See? Even now I'm not doing things right."
Kevin rolled his eyes slightly. "Quit being so over-dramatic," he told his younger friend. "You make me proud by how you take such great care of Laila. And how you try to be there for Ryan as well, when he'll let you. You're a great uncle A.J, don't you ever let anyone, not even myself, tell you otherwise. And you make me proud by being patient with Brooke, considering all she's been through. You may have a quick temper at times, but you also have the patience of a saint some days. You had to have some, dealing with Ellie tonight - Lord knows I would've snapped the moment she opened the bedroom door.”
“So there you are Alex," Kevin went on. "There is why I am proud of you. I am also proud of the way you handle having a new little sister in the family. Not many would take a liking to that like you have. And though you and Kori may never be as close as you are with Ashley, you are at least there for her too, if she needs you to be."
"That all?" A.J. asked hotly.
"What else do you want me to be proud of you for A.J.?" Kevin demanded. "I have listed everything I can think of at the moment. Would you like for me to sit my ass down and make a frigin' list?"
"Yeah, actually, I would," A.J. replied. "So then I could pin it to my fridge and show the world."
"Quit being such a smart ass," Kevin told him. "The world already knows I'm proud of you. Only a blind man wouldn't see that - though, he may feel it."
"So give me a dark pair of shades and call me blind!" A.J. exclaimed.
"Alex," Kevin said warily. "You're trying my patience. I am trying to make you see things you obviously need to see, but you aren't co-operating with me."
"So call me Ellie, since I try your patience so well," A.J. muttered.
"Would you quit bringing my not so innocent child into all this? What, are you jealous of a five-year-old now? Do you need Kevin and Alex time?"
"Oh, yes, that's exactly what I want," A.J. commented. "So I can have you breathing down my neck even more."
"Well, then grow up!" Kevin stated firmly. "I can't be everywhere at once and am doing the best I can. I know how you feel about your best never being enough Alex. Believe me, I do. Everytime I turn around, there's someone's ass I need to cover, or some tantrum to deal with, or some over-sized, greasy manager to placate because someone's riled him up. I understand more than you think Alex, but I am so busy trying to take care of everyone, I may forget to say 'Hey, great job' where it's due. But you don't exactly see anyone thanking me, now do you? Y'all expect me to thank you, yet no one has ever once said thank-you to me!" Kevin exclaimed. "I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but as you know, a man does need to hear it every once in a while, so he feels appreciated and not like he's wasting his damned time!" A.J. sighed heavily.
"I know you deserve credit, Kev. I realized that tonight when dealing with that massive tantrum. But sometimes us non-super heroes tend to take the super hero for granted without meaning too. I know you don't have to play 'Dad' to all of us, we've just come to expect it. Hell, we've taken for granted that you do that role so well. But there are times when you do go a bit over board without meaning too. We're big boys now Kevin, we can take care of ourselves every once in a while. And we know that if we need Big Daddy Kev to help us out, you're there for us to call upon no questions asked.
"I'm no super hero A.J.," Kevin said, once the younger man had finished rambling for the moment.
"Try telling Nick and Ellie that," A.J. smirked. "They seem to have rather high opinions of you. And...Maybe I do myself."
"Well, I don't exactly deserve to be up on some pedestal," Kevin stated. "Every great man falls, when the going gets too tough."
"You haven't fallen yet, Kev," A.J. smiled some. "Least, not in our eyes you haven’t"
"Okay, where is all this mush coming from?" Kevin asked. "And what do you want?" A.J. laughed.
"Why, my heart of course, where else?"
"Seems more like your ass," Kevin teased. A.J. chuckled.
"Well, if that's where you think my heart is, then so be it." Kevin shook his head in amusement, before speaking finally.
"I appreciate it, Alex. More than you'll ever know," he told him, the sincerity in his eyes showing honestly. "Thank-you."
"No, thank-you," A.J. replied. "And Kev?"
"Yeah?"
"The next time I take you for granted, just whack me upside the head and knock some sense into me," A.J. grinned. "I'd rather not have to deal with another one of Ellie's tantrums for a very long time!" Kevin laughed.
"Well, you may see one tomorrow."
"Not if we switch back tonight," A.J. smirked. "What’cha say Kev?"
"Well, I am a little tired of being you," Kevin admitted. "It'd be nice to be myself again. And I haven't cuddled with my little girl all day, except for when setting you up."
"Then so be it. You're Kevin again, and I'm Alex," A.J. replied.
"I'm sure Howie will be happy," Kevin winked.
A.J. rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Him and Laila both. Now, git!"
"I'll return the clothes tomorrow," Kevin told him. "Hell, I'm amazed they even fit."
"Same here," A.J. replied. "And Kev, I wear my shit baggy, you ought to know that."
"Night man," Kevin smiled.
"What? No hug?"
"Well, if you want..." Kevin trailed off, turning and pulling A.J. into a big bear hug, which the younger man returned. "Let's try to avoid this foolishness from now on, alright?"
“I second that,” AJ agreed. When the two pulled apart from their hug, Kevin started for the door when AJ spoke up.
“Kev, wait I just remembered there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.” Kevin raised his eyebrow and turned back around.
“Yeah? About what?”
“Ellie,” AJ replied seriously.
“What’d she do now? Other then what you told me earlier?” He asked, crossing the room to the couch and he sat down causing AJ to go over to the couch across from him and do the same.
“Nothing…this is just a concern from a man who cares deeply about her.”
“Spit it out Aje,” Kevin replied, still looking at the younger man with his eyebrow raised.
“I think she needs professional help.” Kevin’s eyes narrowed then.
“Yeah, you and Brian both and I don’t want to hear it.”
“There is a reason she is throwing these tantrums and acting out Kev. And a reason why she has to have Josh every night when she goes to bed.”
“Yes I know. So what? I’m dealing with it.”
“I know you’re…and look how badly it’s stressing you out. The plane for a big example here…face it. You could use some help.”
“I have help. I have Jerry.”
“Jerry has been a great help…but a therapist could do wonders, you really have no idea.”
“I don’t want her traumatized more then she already is.”
“Right. So just let her keep throwing the tantrums and stuff, that’s so much better.” Kevin rolled his eyes.
“She’s fine.”
“No she’s not. She has some serious behavior problems Kev…and if you don’t get help with it, god only knows how she will turn out. We could have Sean the second under our care, as we know it. Her troubles are little now, but how do we know they won’t turn out to be big ones as she gets older if we don’t steer her out of that direction?”
“Ellie is not a bad girl! She is a good kid!” Kevin demanded, getting frustrated that AJ would even say such a thing.
“I Know she is,” AJ sighed. “I’m not saying she’s bad…I’m saying her behavior is bad. There is a difference.” Kevin crossed his arms over his chest as he sat back on the couch glaring at the younger man. Too blinded by his love for Ellie to see what he is really trying to say. AJ sighed heavily knowing he has to take a better approach at this.
“Look. I know Ellie isn’t a bad kid. I care about that little girl so much. She is the sweetest, most loving kid when she wants to be. I love her as much as you do Kevin, believe me. And I only want what’s best for her,” he began gently. “She is not a bad kid. She was just brought up by bad people and they taught her some very bad things,” he added. “And did some very bad things to her and she doesn’t know right from wrong because of it. You’re doing all you can. You’re doing a great job Kev…but I think if we brought in someone professional we would get a better outcome of it.” Kevin sat there quietly thinking over what AJ said and AJ just sat there gazing at him waiting for him to reply.
“You’re right,” he replied after a long while, and AJ nodded.
“I know I am. If you love Ellie as much as you say you do you would want to do everything you can to see that she gets the help that she needs.”
“Yeah…I’m just really scared that therapy sessions will hurt her more then she already is.”
“They won’t. They can only make things better Kev, that’s what they’re there for,” AJ explained gently. “Yeah, it will be hard for her to talk about things, and get her fears out in the open…it always is. But in the end it’s only going to help her. They’ll even let you sit in on them with her if you wanted to. If she wants you to.”
“I don’t know where to begin looking for one.”
“Didn’t Detective Stabler offer to help you with that a while back ago?” AJ asked, and Kevin nodded.
“Yeah, and Brian did too.”
“Well there you go…” AJ replied. “I’ll even help you if I can.” Kevin couldn’t help but smile at AJ some, despite the seriousness of the conversation.
“That’s a very mature offer for you to make,” he praised and AJ smirked.
“Yeah? Are you proud of me?”
“Very,” Kevin chuckled. “Always.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.
It was co-written with Lenni.
Enjoy =)
It was co-written with Lenni.
Enjoy =)
