Chapter Three-Hundred-Eighty-Eight
As AJ stood outside of the car and waited for his sister to get Bella and herself situated, Nick returned from the restroom and snack machine and he gave AJ a curious look. He’d seen Ashley talking to Kori and he knows it was all AJ’s doing.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?” he asked quietly thinking Ashley wouldn’t hear.
“Not allowed to say much as sisterly secrets were shared between the two and I myself wasn’t supposed to hear, but Ashley was completely sweet and unselfish…and may be a tad bit on the emotional side because of it,” AJ reported in the same quiet undertone. Nick nodded and then crawled into the van and sat down in his seat beside his girlfriend. He wrapped his arm around her, kissed her cheek softly and went to take her hand but Ashley swatted it, shot him a grumpy glance proving AJ’s suspicions right and she turned her head to look out the window.
“Baby…”
“Let me be. Go sit with your buddy AJ,” she snapped quietly, knowing perfectly well that he is going to think she is over reacting about them conspiring against her. But it’s really not about that at all and he knows that too. He watched her reflection in the mirror, noticed her eyes watering up as she privately reacted to her unselfish ways and Nick sighed and got up and moved to the very back to sit with AJ.
“You are right. Very emotional,” She heard him whisper and AJ nodded.
“Give her an hour” She heard him whisper back. Ashley rolled her eyes and reached over to the seat where Bella sat. She grabbed a rattle that she wasn’t playing with and she threw it angrily behind her at the two whispering Backstreet Boys causing them both to throw themselves sideways and the toy to hit the seat between them and bounce onto the floor at their feet noisily. They both finally grew very quiet and Ashley sat back in her seat and glanced back out at the window then as she managed to stifle her sniffles. She was unselfish, yes. She was kind, yes. And it was good and she and her sister had a very beautiful moment.
So why does she feel like she wants to cry her eyes out for practically giving her permission to move away from her? That was bad, and no matter how many times anyone tells her the opposite it won’t make her want to cry any less. But whoever said being unselfish and kind was ever easy? Ashley turned her gaze discretely in the direction toward the very front where Wiley was driving and Kori sat silently in the passenger’s seat staring out the window. As she looked at Wiley she noticed for the first time that he was watching her through the rear view mirror. Ashley looked away from him then and stared stubbornly out the window. It was all she could do not to glare at him. She told herself she would stay neutral through out this whole situation and glaring at him would ruin that promise to herself. She wishes he would quit looking at her though, she knows he still is. She can feel his eyes on her. What can a girl do to be able to have a tantrum in peace? When the staring became too much for her, she reached for one of Bella’s extra blankets that she wasn’t using and she leaned her head against the window and pulled it over her face making her statement loud and clear: LET ME BE.
Now that she had the privacy that she so desperately wanted, Ashley allowed her tears to flow freely as she silently dealt with her situation all on her own. She’s given Kori permission to move to Jersey. That is what the whole trip is about, for her to see Kori’s home, how important it is to her, and somehow find it in her broken heart to accept it. And she will, she’s decided…because she loves her sister enough to let her go. It’s not like she will be losing her all over again…not really. She lost her four years ago when she ran away. Now…she will just get to say goodbye this time, that’s all. And then everybody in her family that she was related to by blood or grew up with for twelve years will be gone. Either dead or over a hundred miles away from her because she can’t bear the thought of being in Florida where it’s much too painful and therefore has moved on.
Ashley closed her eyes as she fought hard not to fall apart now in this van around everybody, especially Kori. She needs to be strong for Kori even though it isn’t really her job. She’s the little sister, it should be the other way around, but alas, Kori has been the weakest out of both of them, the one who just can’t face her fears and her pain, and all of her mistakes. Running is all she’s done for the past four years, and running is what she is good at leaving Ashley to learn how to fend for herself at a very young age, when she needed her sister the most. But now, she has to be strong. She has to show her sister that she’ll be fine, that she’ll survive no matter what decision she makes and that she will be supportive. She just doesn’t know if that’s entirely true…she doesn’t believe in herself the way Nick does. Ashley brought her legs up close to her chest and rested her head against her knees as Bella’s blanket was still placed over her and her eyes remained shut as her tears spilled out over them. She sat that way for a long while, eventually crying herself to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile in Florida, after spending all morning and early afternoon with Ellie, Jerald, and his mother, Kevin picked up his phone around 1:30 and called Summer up to invite her over.
“Mom I need to ask you a huge favor…please don’t get angry with me” Kevin began as he walked into the living room where she and Jerald sat. Ellie on the other hand was upstairs in her room showing no interest in coming down.
“What?” Ann asked suspiciously.
“After meeting Summer and having a late lunch with us could you and Jerry…maybe go shopping or something? I spent the past few days with nothing but family as you asked and now I’m asking for sometime alone with my girlfriend. She and I have some serious talking to do.” Ann stared at him in silence for a moment, and then looked to Jerald for his opinion on what he thinks. Thinking about the conversation Kevin had with Ashley and how much it surprisingly changed him in one day, he nodded his head in approval deciding he would trust him for the first time in weeks. Ann sighed.
“All right…but we’re taking Ellie with us.”
“No I want my daughter here with me,” Kevin insisted. “You’ve watched me like a hawk with her for three days and I’ve went a long with it all this time because you’re my mom, but she is my little girl and I’m putting my foot down.” Ann opened her mouth to argue, her first instinct being to protect her granddaughter but Jerald reached over and gently grabbed her hand to stop her.
“No mom he’s right,” he insisted while looking into her eyes seriously.
“Ellie is his little girl and if he wants her here, who are we to try and stop him?”
“Her Grandmother and Uncle that is who we are,” Ann told him with narrowed eyes. She has a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. A very bad feeling.
“And I am her father. But if there is a reason that I shouldn’t be left alone with my daughter that I am unaware of…please, enlighten me will you?” Kevin asked giving his mother and brother both a look making his message loud and clear: Yes, I am onto you. When neither of them replied, Kevin went on.
“Well, if neither of you are going to answer me then she stays with me. End of discussion.”
“Gramma, I’m hungry” Ellie’s little voice suddenly spoke from upstairs causing all three pairs of eyes to look her way and they saw her peering out through the railing of the stairs.
“I’ll get you lunch sweetheart, what are you hungry for huh?” Kevin instantly spoke up before Ann could reply.
“You won’ts know how to make it the way Gramma does,” Ellie insisted after eyeing him a moment.
“Try me,” Kevin replied indignantly. “You’ll be surprised at how well I paid attention to her cooking while growing up. What is it that you want to eat princess?”
“Gramma made me Ruben Sandwiches a couple of days ago an’ hads me try it no matter how much I said It sounded yucky an’ I liked it. An’ I wants some today.”
“Ruben sandwiches huh?” Kevin asked while looking at his mother slightly impressed. “Well, it just so happens that mom taught me how to make that when I was thirteen. Come into the kitchen little one and prepare to be amazed” he insisted while getting to his feet and heading into the kitchen now suddenly on a mission: To prove himself to his daughter. Ellie gazed after him in silence then. Following him into the kitchen would require her to go downstairs and ruin her silent act of protests against Summer coming over. On the other hand, time with her daddy before the monster arrives is very precious. Ellie sighed heavily and analyzed her options carefully. Protest…or soak up all of the time she has left with her daddy. Knowing the grownups and how immune they’re becoming to her tantrums and stubborn ways, she has a hunch that going with option B would be more effective. Rolling her eyes moodily, she got to her feet and began stomping down the stairs angrily. If her daddy won’t acknowledge her protests, well at least her uncle and Grandmother will get the picture and understand even if they can’t do anything about it anymore.
“Honey stomping around and slamming doors and inanimate objects is not going to stop the inevitable,” Jerald told her quietly as he watched her with a sympathetic gaze and Ellie only glared at him. “And neither is giving dirty looks to uncles who love you and very much understand. I delayed her visit for as long as I could sweetheart.” Ellie crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her nose to the air stubbornly as she looked away from him.
“What do you hope to accomplish by this silent tantrum of yours?”
“At least we don’t have to put up with her loud and noisy ones for a change,” Ann pointed out.
“I don’t know I think I like those better, because then at least we know exactly what is on her mind and I don’t feel like I am getting the silent treatment for something I can’t control.” Ellie turned her whole body around then so she was no longer looking at her uncle and she stalked off to the kitchen.
“Still think its wise to leave her here?” Ann asked Jerald quietly and she narrowed her eyes at her son.
“We don’t have much choice mom, do we?” Jerald asked and Ann huffed. “He is her father and anyway Laney and Drew came by last night and set the cameras up, the entire security team will be keeping watch on her the whole time from wherever they are at.”
“They won’t be here to stop her from beating up on my Grandbaby though, will they?”
“We need the proof ma…after today we’ll be able to tell Kevin and get her out of Ellie’s life for good.”
“At Ellie’s expense? You know I’ve been against this solution from the very start. What if the…what if she goes too far?”
“Do you have any better solutions? Cause if you do please tell me so. I don’t want my niece hurt anymore then you do but if we just come right out and tell him what’s going on, who do you think he’s going to blame first? It won’t be Summer.” Ann shook her head and looked away tearfully. “How could you let her come into Kevin and Ellie’s life like this? Why weren’t you keeping watch on your brother?”
“Don’t you think if I had known Summer was like this I would’ve done everything in my power to make sure Kevin didn’t see her anymore after that party, Mom?” Ann shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know, you’ve let things spiral pretty far out of control here, Jerald.”
“That’s not fair.”
“You moved out here to take care of your brother and niece, did you not? So where were you while Summer was beating the tar out of her huh?”
“In the dark just like everybody else!” Ann continued to look away from him and Jerald went on. “You know I love that little girl with every beat of my heart mom, you know it kills me just as much as anybody that she is being hurt. I feel guilty enough as it is, I don’t need you to sit here and make me feel worse then I already do.” When Ann finally looked at him and saw the tears clouding up in her son’s eyes the angry look on her face softened some. “Like I said, if I had known the kind of person Summer is, I would not have let her relationship with my brother carry on. I am already suffering from it greatly mom, so save yourself the trouble of making me feel like an even bigger failure then I already do.”
“I’m sorry,” Ann insisted after a moment and she rubbed at her eyes before wrapping her arms around him. “I didn’t mean it, I’m just upset and very worried for Ellie. I want this all to be over with.”
“Join the club,” Jerald told her before sliding his arms around his mother in return and rubbing his hand over her back soothingly.
~*~*~*~*~
Ashley awoke with a start from her very restless nap. She tightened her arms around her legs as she continued to sit there with Bella’s blanket covering her and she rocked back and forth slowly as she fought to come to terms with reality. It isn’t real, you aren’t there anymore… she mentally reassured herself. You aren’t twelve years old, you didn’t just relive the entire drama of Kori’s disappearance, you weren’t just watching your parents being shot to their deaths…you’re eighteen years old and everything is okay. Everything is okay to be expected. Kori is here and if you pull the blanket off you will see her in the front seat, she reminded herself. And your parents…your parents…well…that was real, that was very real. having that reality hit her hard like a slap in the face, Ashley threw her the blanket off of herself. She unbuckled her seatbelt, got up and crawled into the back where a very concerned Nick and AJ still sat.
“Ashley, what are you doing? The car is moving put your…” AJ began his lecture and then trailed off as he watched his sister crawl into Nick’s lap, throw her arms around him, bury her face in his shoulder, and start bawling.
“Wi pull the car over,” A worried Kori demanded and Wiley did just that. As soon as the car was at the side of the road and had come to a complete stop, Kori threw her seatbelt off of herself and was in the back with her sister in a matter of seconds.
“What is it, what happened?” She asked frantically as she wrapped her arms around her too.
“I don’t know, she just crawled back here and started crying.”
“Ashley, sweetie what happened?” Kori asked and she went to brush her hair out of her face only to have her hand swatted away.”
“Don’t touch me, let me be!” Ashley sobbed and she turned in Nick’s arms so her back was turned to Kori.
“Honey you scared me to death, the least you can do is tell me why.” Ashley got up from Nick’s lap then walked to the door and she pulled it open.
“Baby where are you going?” Nick demanded and Ashley got out of the car acting as if she hadn’t heard him and stalked off into the woods needing very much to get away from her sister right now before she says something that will ruin her goals of being supportive.
“Damnit what is going on?” Nick asked helplessly. He unbuckled his seatbelt then and got out of the car too. AJ followed, and Kori started to as well when Nick whirled around and looked at her.
“Stay here and watch the kids.”
“But she’s—“
“—Please. I know you are worried about her but something tells me space is the most important thing for her at the moment.”
“Fine then. AJ stays here too,” Kori insisted stubbornly. AJ opened his mouth to argue and Kori beat him to it.
“Laila won’t have it any other way,” She reminded him, paralyzing him right where he stood as he knows that’s the downright truth.
“Its okay AJ, I’ll take care of her” Nick reassured.
“Fine, go then before she goes too far! I don’t like the idea of her in those woods alone.” With those words being said, Nick whirled around and went after his girlfriend as he heard Detective Stabler and Scott ask what’s going on. He walked through the woods looking this way and that for her. He doesn’t know where she is but he can hear her crying. He followed the sound until he finally found her on the other side of a big hill and she is lying in the grass by a tree curled up into a ball sobbing. Nick walked over to her and he silently got down on his knees beside her before gently lying on top of her and enveloping her protectively in his arms. He rested his cheek against hers and silently lay there holding her just letting her cry it all out. Meanwhile back at the van, Dakota who sat in the seat in front of Bella and Laila next to Sarah and Spencer unbuckled her seatbelt suddenly and stood up causing AJ to look in at her.
“Kota sweetie, sit back down and put your seatbelt on okay? We’re on the side of the road its not safe for you out here.”
“What’s wrong with my Ashee?” Dakota asked worriedly.
“I don’t know baby, I think she might have had a nightmare though. Your daddy is taking care of it…sit tight okay?” Dakota’s eyes welled up with tears then.
“I wants my Ashee…” AJ sighed softly at those words. He should’ve known that his niece would react this way for anything that might be wrong with her future mommy. He held his arms out to her.
“Come here baby, come see Uncle Jay.” Dakota crawled over Sarah and Spencer’s legs then until she reached AJ’s outstretched arms and he gently grabbed her, held her against his chest, and she slid her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Feeling paranoid about holding her on the side of the road, AJ sat on the floor between the seat and the opened door.
When Nick managed to get Ashley to calm down to the point where she was just sniffling he lifted his head to look down at her and he lightly brushed his fingers across her cheek in a gentle caress.
“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” He asked her with eyes full of concern as he dried her tears. Ashley slid her arms around his neck then and buried her face in his shoulder as she shifted so she was lying completely on her back with him on top of her. Nick kissed the top of her head softly and waited.
“Please tell me you are never going to leave me Nicky…”
“I’m not going anywhere without you baby girl,” Nick reassured her sincerely.
“You promise?” she sniffled softly.
“As long as I am alive and breathing on this earth I promise you that I will always be by your side.”
“What happens when you no longer are?” She mumbled weakly into his shoulder.
“You don’t need to worry about that baby.”
“Yes I do, Nicky I need to know. I need to know incase something bad happens to you and you are no longer here to love me anymore. And don’t tell me its not going to happen, because it could, you have no way of knowing.”
“I already told you…I don’t know how many times that I am always going to be here for you. If not physically…then in your heart. Always…okay?” Ashley looked away from him angrily.
“Hey,” Nick replied firmly and he gently cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her to look at him. “Whats on your mind? Where are you at right now? Talk to me. Let me in.”
“Its nothing that you’re going to be able to fix,” Ashley insisted softly.
“Perhaps not…but it might help to talk about it and know that I love you and you aren’t alone.”
“I fell asleep and dreamt about my parents death,” Ashley finally admitted quietly. “And of the experience that I went through when Kori ran away…”
“Because of the discussion that you had with her earlier?” Nick guessed and Ashley nodded.
“I know it frightens you knowing that Kori might move to Jersey permanently but honey that doesn’t mean you are losing her as a sister. She’ll always be a phone call away…and if it’ll but a smile on your face I’ll drive you all the way to Jersey to visit her anytime you want and I’m sure she’ll come back for holidays to see you and vise versa. I’m sure we can make some kind of deal with her. She’s not disappearing on you this time though I promise.”
“It’s not the same,” Ashley insisted tearfully. “I want her near, I want her close, I want to be able to hug her each and every day if I want to. I want to be able to look at her and reassure myself every single day that she’s not going anywhere. I want…I want my sister Nick, I want at least one of my family members to be close. Why is that so much to ask for? Why does that make me so selfish?”
“You aren’t selfish baby…I get why you need her so much, I do. You’ve lost so much and she is your only family member left but you can’t force her to live in Florida if she doesn’t want to…she’s been through a lot too. So we’ll just have to work a way around the distance…it’ll be really hard on you with all of the trauma you’ve endured as a child but you can do it because you have me to help you get through it. I know you are scared of losing everybody you love, but all I can do is reassure you over and over again that I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you Nicky,” Ashley insisted softly as she spoke into his chest and Nick pulled back, gently cradled her face in his hands and he kissed her forehead softly.
“I love you too,” He promised before bringing his lips down on hers in a gentle kiss. “More then words can say and we’re gonna get through this. You aren’t alone anymore; you’ll never be alone again. Its different from when you were a child…you are surrounded by a lot of people who love you and if you asked them they would reassure you as many times as you would like because it’s the truth.”
“Until Sean takes you all away…”
“Let him try,” Nick insisted.
“No, I don’t want to” Ashley replied before tightening her arms around him.
“He’s not getting through all of us baby girl…he hasn’t tried to take on our big strong family all at once…and I can assure you that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t know what he is dealing with.”
“What is he dealing with?” Ashley asked softy.
“A big family who would fight like hell to protect each and every one of its members. If he plans on attacking us anytime soon then he had better know that we come in big numbers and we won’t go down without giving them hell first.” When she didn’t reply he gently wiped away her tears. “And if seeing Kori every day is what you want…well we have webcam, video recorders…anything you could possibly think of that would help you see your sister even over a hundred miles away. We could send videos to each other back and forth if that would help get rid of your fears.” He gently hugged her close to him and buried his face in her shoulder and he held her for a long while until she was calm and relaxed in his arms. When he knew that she was, he got to his feet, gathered her up in his arms so he is cradling her, and he carried her off to the car as she snuggled into him.
“Everything is going to work out fine, you’ll see” he reassured her softly in her ear as he began the walk back. “Everything seems so scary and stressful right now but in the end everything will fall into place. I know it. You just have to give it a chance.” When they got back to the car everybody looked at them concerned.
“Is everything okay?” AJ asked gently. He had finally gotten Dakota to calm down and he put her in the car and got her seatbelt back on her.
“Yeah, just give her some space to calm completely down okay? No one crowd her please.” AJ nodded understanding completely.
“When she does she should probably reassure Kota that she’s fine because she’s a little worried.”
“Will do,” Nick promised knowing his girlfriend will make that her first priority the moment she calms down. He climbed into the van and sat in the seat behind the babies and he shifted Ashley so he was cradling her in his lap. Everybody followed his lead and got into the two cars as well and before AJ could lecture Nick, he grabbed the seatbelt, pulled it around both him and Ashley and buckled them in. AJ narrowed his eyes at him but otherwise said nothing as he went to the very back and sat down and soon enough they were headed to Jersey again.
Author's Chapter Notes:
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