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Author's Chapter Notes:

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When Trevor managed to get Ellie and Jerald up into the control room he shut the door and locked it behind them and Jerald let go of him before going over and slumping into a chair.


“No, no, on the floor I don’t want to risk a bullet flying through the window and hitting you.” Jerald stood up then and with great difficulty he managed to sit on the floor where he leaned up against the wall. Ellie ran to him and threw her arms around him where she began to sob. Jerald wrapped his arms around her in return and kissed her forehead affectionately.


“Shhh…I’m okay princess, I will be all right I promise.”


“Of course he will,” Trevor insisted and he suddenly sat on the floor in front of them with a box of medical supplies. Jerald recognizes it from one of the doctors that Sean had ordered to come take care of Kevin for him earlier. The supply kit had belonged to him. “I snagged it when he was busy with Kevin,” Trevor explained. “And don’t look at me like that – you would have to remain like this for awhile if I didn’t” he added while opening the kit up and getting right to work.


“I guess I am just not used to seeing your good side. You are so awful to Ashley...” Trevor shrugged his shoulders.


“I’ve changed.”


“Not really. You’re still awful to her.”

“I could really careless about her anymore…it’s all Sean. Now when she messes with him on the other hand…that’s a completely different story. I may have changed but I am not someone that you cross.”


“So you don’t think she ought to have a right to defend herself after all of the shit you two have put her through?”


“She can defend herself all she wants but if she damages my Sean in any way I will step in and stop it. She defends her love, I defend mine. That’s the way it is.” Jerald sat there in a long silence as Trevor treated him and he sat there idly playing with strands of Ellie’s hair as she had her face buried in his chest and a death grip upon him.


“What made you decide to change?” he asked abruptly after a few moments. Trevor thought about that for a moment before responding and when he was finally ready he concentrated on one of Jerald’s wounds so as to not have to look Jerald in the eyes. “I guess you can say it started when I realized Sean needed to seriously be taken care of,” he began softly. “I needed to be sober and have a clear mind to do so…so I took all of my drugs and my alcohol stash and just got rid of it completely and sobered myself up. Then I got rid of all of his stuff and forced him to do the same – it was really tough and he hated me for it…but I didn’t let up until the day we got home from taking care of Cole in Kentucky. He was pissed off that Shelly had left him and he really wanted some drugs…so I caved and he took me to the toughest drug dealer that we know. He wasn’t happy with Sean…we got into a huge fight and Sean ended up getting shot in the waist. I had to rush him home and immediately get it taken care of…and well…I guess you can say the thought of losing him scared me half to death and woke me up. I’ve never been the same since that day.”


“What happened with Shelly? Why did she leave him?” Jerald asked curiously and he leaned down and kissed the top of Ellie’s head as he felt her snuggle into him some more at the mention of her mother’s name.


“I can’t really say much. She’s gone, she’s completely changed her life around, and that’s all you need to know.”


“But why?”


“She was just sick of Sean treating her like shit, that’s all. She didn’t love him as much as I do, and she’s not as strong as I am. She had to get herself out.”


“Mommy deserves to rot in jail,” Ellie mumbled into Jerald’s chest.


“I’m sorry she abused you Ellie and I’m sorry your father did too. But it was the drugs and alcohol that made her that way and now that she’s gone away and got rid of all of that icky stuff she’s not the same person anymore,” Trevor reasoned gently. “And since she’s leaving you completely alone to be with Kevin wouldn’t it just be best to let her be?”


“That’s a lot to ask of her,” Jerald spoke up and he hugged Ellie close to him protectively. “You’ve known Shelly a lot longer than Ellie has, you’ve seen her good side and all Ellie has ever seen is the bad stuff. She has a right to be angry.” Ellie crawled out of Jerald’s lap then and she pulled her shirt up so that Trevor could see her bruised body and she pointed out the razor cuts that are still there from the very first day she arrived at the orphanage. “She did this to me! An’ I hates her for it! Don’t try an’ make me feel different cause I never will.” Jerald reached for her then and Ellie swatted his hands away.

“No!”


“Ellie honey, come here.” Ellie shook her head and turned her back on him and just as she did, there was a knock on the door. Trevor got up and went to the door and spoke loudly into it.


“Who is it?”


“Me. Open up!” Trevor rolled his eyes as there is no mistaking who that voice belongs to and he opened the door and allowed Sean to hurry in before shutting the door behind him and relocking it. Sean’s eyes fell on Ellie and when he saw her in her angry stance he arched his eyebrow.


“What is the matter with her?”


“Trevor reopened some safely locked away wounds,” Jerald instantly tattled and Trevor scowled.


“Don’t make me regret fixing your ungrateful ass up.”


“What did you do?” Sean demanded turning narrowed eyes on his lover and Trevor rolled his eyes.


“Why? Am I going to receive the same fate as the man back there did, Sean?”


“Don’t be ridiculous. Just tell me what the fuck you did to upset her Trevor.”


“We were only talking about Shelly, that’s all.” Sean scowled and grabbed up a stolen cell phone and he launched it at Trevor hard. Trevor seeing it coming ducked quickly out of the way and it flew into the wall before falling onto the floor with a loud clatter.


“Why do you have to go and bring that bitch up for?!”


“I was only answering his questions,” Trevor shrugged and he pointed an accusing finger at Jerald.


“You’re not supposed to be doing that either.”


“Oh give me a break Sean, it’s not like I gave him anything important – calm the fuck down.”


“No,” Sean growled. “I don’t want to. I am too pissed off to calm down,” he insisted and he subconsciously went over and grabbed Ellie up and held her in his protective arms, completely unaware of what he is doing. Trevor smirked at the involuntary action that he and Jerald were witnessing.


“Well, it’s obviously not all directed toward me, huh?” Sean ignored him and as he went over and stood at the window to the control room but in just the right spot where he could see but not be seen, he gently pressed Ellie’s face in his shoulder as he held her close to him and he stared out the window with a dark look on his face. Ellie wound her arms around him and nestled her head on his shoulder feeling content right where she is. This may very well be the last day that she ever gets to be held by her daddy and being held in such a protective and loving way doesn’t come very often with Sean.


“Daddy,” Ellie spoke up after a long while when she was sure Sean’s brooding was slowly coming to an end and it was safe to talk to him.


“What?”


“Trevor was telling Uncle Jerry how much he loves you earlier,” she began softly. She watched out of the corner of her eye while her face was still hidden in his shoulder as he glanced over at Trevor and she saw a hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth.


“Yeah, so?” he asked nonchalantly.


“He was tellin’ him that he would do anything for you,” She continued feeling confident now that she had seen just the smallest hint of a smile. Trevor who now sat on the floor next to Jerald again sat there looking over at them curiously, his eyebrow raised as he wondered just exactly what the kid was up to.


“Oh…” Sean said, not knowing exactly what else to say to her.


“Do you loves him too, daddy?”


“How is that any of your business?” Sean snapped somewhat but he couldn’t quite get rid of the affectionate tone of Dr. Jekyll as he spoke to her.


“Cause you’re my daddy an’ I wanna knows an’ hold onto everything about you, as much as I can” Ellie insisted innocently. Sean was silent for a long moment then as he fought inner emotions Ellie’s words have once again brought to the surface. “Daddy?” She prompted after awhile and she looked up at him as he continued to stare straight ahead out the window.


“Yes Ellie…I do…love him. A lot.”


“Enough to do anything for him?”


“…Yes.” Trevor bit his tongue then in order to keep the comment he so badly wanted to say from coming out of his mouth. He really wants to interrogate him on that but he also doesn’t want to ruin the magic the kid seems to be working on him either. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down inside that answer came from the truth.


“Jump in front of a bullets for him?”


“Yes.”


“Run into a burning building after him?”


“Yes.”


“Jump off a cliff if he did it firsts?”


“…No. That one I am afraid I would choose to stand at the bottom of the cliff to catch his stupid ass.”


“But what if you had no choice but to jump, daddy?”


“Then I suppose we would be two dumbasses in love and dead at the bottom of the cliff.” Ellie was silent for a moment before going on.


“Would you walks half way ‘round the world for just one kiss from him?”


“Is there a point to this game of 50 questions, Ellie?” Sean asked as Jerald stifled a laugh.


“You didn’ts answer my question daddy,” Ellie insisted innocently. Sean sighed heavily and then nodded.


“Yes, I most likely would.”


“Then…if you love him that’s much daddy an’ would do that much for him, then why can’t you do the one and only thing he’s ever asked from you?”


“It’s complicated.”


“Well I can keep up.”


“I am not explaining this to my five year old there is no way.”


“Then how bout’s you answer another question for me huh daddy?”


“I’ve about had enough of your questions, Elenore.”


“If you would do anything for Trevor,” Ellie went on as if she hadn’t heard him. “And Trevor would do anything for you…then how come you can’t understand why Nicky would love Ashee and want to do anything for her?” When Sean didn’t reply she continued. “An’ if it would hurt you so much to lose Trevor, then can’t you maybe understand how much it might hurt Nicky to lose Ashee?”


“It’s not my fault he went and fell in love with her!” Sean insisted irritably.


“No it’s not daddy, but can’ts you find it in your heart to understand? Even if just a little bit?”


“Sean has too much hate in his heart to understand, Ellie” Jerald insisted. “He is too angry and bitter to fully understand what love is.”


“That’s not true,” Ellie protested firmly. “If he can loves me an’ Trevor then there is love somewhere in there an’ he just needs a Kevy to shows him how to find it!”


“He has a Trevor, and that isn’t working out so well is it?” Ellie stuck her tongue out at Jerald and then gently grabbed Sean’s chin making him look at her.


“I believes in you daddy.”


“I did not ask for you to believe in me,” Sean said firmly as he fought back his emotions with great difficulty.


“An’ I never asked for you to hits me but we don’ts always get what we wants do we? Daddy Kevy an’ Uncle Jerry taught me that one too.”


“Just like you didn’t ask for your mother to die, you didn’t ask for your father to hit you,” Trevor added.


“An’ Kota didn’t ask for her Mommy Ashee to be taken away from her!”


“No she did not,” Jerald agreed. “You go on and on about how you want to punish Kori for a mistake that she made as a teenager and will forever regret…but what about Kota, Bella, and Sarah? Are you going to take their mommy away for a careless mistake made as a teenager Sean? Are you going to make them lose their mommy the way you did?”


“Are you?” Trevor added. “Are you going to make them lose their mother and risk the chance that they might live through the same years of pain and regret and anger like you have? Are you really that angry that you would do that to a few kids who have never done a thing to you?”


“What do they want with a mother anyway? All they do is leave” Sean insisted bitterly. “Or abandon their fucking child at an Orphanage.”


“Yours didn’t,” Ellie said softly, ignoring the mention of her mother yet again.


“Ellie,” Trevor and Jerald both warned at once.


“No, he should knows” Ellie insisted. “She never left you daddy.”


“Of course she did,” Sean snapped. “I watched her.”


“She died but she never really left you Sean,” Trevor spoke up and he ran a nervous hand through his hair. He’d been putting off on telling him this because he knows exactly what kind of reaction he is going to get.


“Do you realize how crazy you sound right now?”


“Oh I am just getting started. You don’t even know half of it.”


“Can you sees her too?” Ellie asked, suddenly looking at Trevor in surprise as she realized he was backing her up on this.


“No, but I can feel her whenever she is in the room.”


“Do one of you want to explain to me what the hell it is that you are talking about?!” Sean asked irritably.


“Not really,” Trevor said nervously and he looked away from Sean.


“Well that’s too bad – you’ve got my interest, you are going to tell me. One of you are going to tell me what’s going on here.” Just then Trevor felt another presence in the room, and being all too familiar with it by now he knows that it’s Lindy. He heaved a heavy sigh and looked at Sean again. He looked at him for a few seconds, and then he got up and went over to him and he looked him directly in the eyes so that he will know he is being very honest with him right now.


“Your mother never left you Sean. Not really. She died of course, I wouldn’t try and tell you otherwise when I know you saw it with your own two eyes but she is still here.”


“Yeah you keep telling me that ridiculous nonsense but I am still waiting on you to elaborate.”


“Just have an open mind love, okay? I know it’s hard…but try.”


“Just tell me what the fuck you are talking about Trevor!” Sean snapped impatiently as buried emotions about his mother were slowly surfacing.


“She’s here daddy,” Ellie decided to speak up. “As my imaginary friend. I see Gramma Ellerbee.” Sean looked down at her in silence for a long moment as he tried to comprehend what she was telling him and after a moment he rolled his eyes.


“I don’t have time for your silly little imaginative games, Ellie.”


“It’s not one of her silly little imaginative games, Sean she’s being downright serious right now.”


“An Imaginary friend Trevor? That’s bullshit.”


“No…an earthbound spirit mistaken as an imaginary friend.”


“And see that’s why I know you should be taken directly to the loony bin right now. My mother would never bound herself to this earth she dreaded life.”


“Obviously she thought you were worth toughing it out for.” Sean turned around and faced the window then and he crossed his arms over his chest as he no longer held Ellie.


“Ask her what she looks like Sean. I know for a fact you never showed her any pictures.” When Sean didn’t respond or ask Ellie what Lindy looks like, Ellie spoke up again deciding to tell him anyway.


“She looks exactly likes you daddy,” she began, and Trevor followed her gaze as she sat there on the desk looking beside Sean, rather than directly at him. “She has long dark brown hair the exact same color as yours and your face shape an’ your smile too. An’ she’s standing right next to you an’ smiling at you right now. She loves you daddy, she’s been withs you all a long.” Trevor watched Sean as he stood there trying to act as if he hadn’t heard and that he doesn’t feel the extra vibes that Lindy is making him feel. When the vibes were beginning to be too much for him however, he turned and went to the security screens and he glanced at them for a long time.


“Sean?” Trevor asked warily, but he ignored him. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, Sean growled irritably and he stormed from the room without so much as a word. It’s pretty much a given that he expects him to take care of Ellie and make sure Jerald doesn’t get hurt again. Ellie looked at Trevor frowning.


“That did nots go well.”


“Just give him sometime Ellie,” Trevor sighed. “Your father struggles with his emotions in the exact same way that you do. No matter what emotion he is supposed to be feeling, anger always comes first.”


“Then he probably wants to hit something,” Ellie stated with worry in her eyes.


“Don’t worry about it,” Trevor told her casually, and then he looked at Jerald and gave him a serious look. “I need to go take care of him but I can’t leave you and Ellie unprotected. But I also can’t take you out there either. Any idea on how I am supposed to work that one out?”


“You could let us go,” Jerald suggested giving him a look right back. “You got you and Sean into this building undetected, I’m sure you can manage to get us out the same way if you wanted to.”


No,” Ellie demanded and she narrowed her eyes at her uncle.


“Ellie you are the most wanted target here for all of Sean’s enemies” Jerald tried reasoning. “Do you want to get caught by another man like that last one? Huh?” Ellie crossed her arms over her chest then and her lower lip trembled slightly.


“You promised me!”


“And I let you argue with him but the man walked away, Ellie!” Ellie looked away from him fighting desperately to hold back her tears and Jerald sighed heavily.


“Even if I could let you guys go undetected Sean would kill me for it.”


“Sean wouldn’t lay a hand on you,” Jerald insisted while rolling his eyes. “And I’m sure he would want Ellie out of this building anyway.”


“I came in here to do something an’ I’m NOTS leaving until I do” Ellie insisted stubbornly.


“Honey even I am starting to think that we’re fighting a lost cause here,” Trevor said softly while not even making eye contact with her.


“If daddy is a lost cause than I am too,” Ellie said angrily and she let her tears flow freely.


“You don’t have to be him, Ellie” Trevor insisted gently. “Don’t make the same mistake he did. You are better than that, even he says so.” He walked over to her then and cupped her face in his hands making her look at him. “The best thing you could do for your father is grow up and make the best life that you can for yourself. Do you hear me? It’s what he wants most.” When she didn’t respond he went on. “Kevin is a great man. I never liked him much…but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a great man and he is a great father and he loves you. Sean left you in really good hands. He will always be there to love you…don’t take that for granted.”


“I don’ts take Daddy Kevy for granted…least I don’ts mean to. I loves him…I didn’ts knows what love was until I met Kevy. But I loves my daddy Sean too an’ always have even after he hurt me so badly. I know that nobody really understands…but he is a huge part of me. An’ I just can’t move on an’ be happy until I knows he’s going to be okay.”


“Well as long as I am standing here baby-sitting you and your Uncle, Sean is off who knows where doing only god knows what. I need to go look after him but it’s too dangerous for you to be out there right now. So unless you help me figure something out then I am going to have to take Jerald’s request and let you go.” Ellie thought about that for a moment.


“We can goes up in the sewers.”


“…The sewers…what?” Trevor asked puzzled and it was Jerald who answered him.


“Princess I can’t exactly fit up in the air vents…remember?”

“If daddy Kevy could fit up there then surely you could too.” Jerald sighed heavily and then looked at Trevor who was eyeing him with a ‘well why not’ kind of look.


“I want a gun. If you two are going to make me stay in this building then I at least want a gun to protect my niece with.”


“Whatever you want,” Trevor said and then went to retrieve one and while he had his back turned, Jerald moved closer to the desk so that his back was turned to it and with his hand behind his back he casually slipped a stolen cell phone into his back pocket. He wants a gun and he wants to be in contact with the outside world.