Chapter Seventy Six
"Hey you…I take it Aje is back since you have Kota with you?" Brian asked curiously when Riley had walked out onto the playground and over to Brian, Howie, and Kori. Kevin is still lying over in the sand with Elenore still lying on top of him asleep, but now he's managed to move out of other children's way and under a shaded tree.
"Yup, he's in Brooke's office talking to her," Riley answered, smiling big. "I have a feeling he's going to get somewhere with her. Those were really beautiful roses…and Brookie loves roses."
"I hope so," Brian replied. "I've never seen him so interested in ONE woman before…Brooke is all he's been able to think about for the past few months…he's completely stopped seeing other women."
"He's in love with her," Howie revealed, as he knows AJ more then anybody else - he spends enough time with him anyway, he should know more. Suddenly Riley set Dakota down thinking she would go off and bug Josh, but instead she turned and headed toward the building of the orphanage.
"Sweetie where are you going?" Brian questioned.
"I miss my daddy," Dakota answered, stopping and turning to look at her favorite uncle. "I wants to go an' sees him."
"Oh, okay." Brian replied. "Go ahead then."
"I'll go up there with you, Kota." Kori suddenly spoke up. It's been two hours since the couple had gone upstairs to get away from everybody, but still. It's better to be safe then sorry. It would be VERY interesting if their four year old happened to walk in on them during a very unexplainable moment.
"Kay," Dakota replied. Kori held her hand out to her and Dakota took it and allowed her to lead her into the building. When they had reached the elevator inside, Kori pushed the button and while they stood there waiting, she took out her cell phone and dialed Nick's number. He had given it to her awhile back ago and she memorized it. After a couple of rings Ashley answered it and said in the most sweetest voice she could muster.
"Hellooo, Carter Residence!"
"Hey, did I say you could answer that?" Kori heard Nick say in the background, and then laugh. Kori rolled her eyes and shook her head smiling.
"Ash…what are you two up to up there?"
"Oh you know….just…clowning around," Ashley answered mysteriously.
"Well it had better be G rated because Kota and I will be up there shortly."
"It is, it is. We're behaving ourselves…."
"Mm hmm, right." Kori laughed. "We'll be right up." She added, and she hung up.
~*~*~*~*~
Ashley hung up Nick's phone and set it down on the nightstand and suddenly she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and playfully pull her backward onto the bed. Ashley shrieked and then giggled as Nick pulled her beside him as he lay sideways on the bed. The two of them had finished their shower about an hour ago and were just lying their messing around - Ashley wearing a bra and jeans, and all Nick did was pull on a pair of jeans. Ashley lay back on her back looking up at him and grinning widely.
"Who was that?"
"My sister. She's bringing Kota up here. She just called to make sure it was G rated before she brought her in here." Nick chuckled.
"Well then, it looks like you better put a shirt on, huh?" He asked, leaning down and kissing her stomach. Ashley smiled down at him before gently grabbing his arms and pulling him up on top of her and she placed her hands to each of his cheeks before leaning up and brushing her lips softly over his. He placed his hands gently to her cheeks in return and carefully made her lay her head back against the pillow as he kissed her back much deeper. When he pulled away he got up and went into the closet and he pulled down Ashley's white Little Mermaid Tank top that she bought from Disney World and he brought it over to her. He sat down next to her as she sat up and he put it over her head, before pulling it down and he again brushed his lips lightly over hers, before rubbing his hands over her black and blue arms. Ashley winced slightly.
"I can't believe your arms are still black and blue…it's been months since Sean last touched you…."
"They're mostly from Trevor," Ashley replied softly. "He made them worse…"
"I wish there was something that I could put on them to help you feel better…"
"I like when you rub on them like this…it relaxes me." Nick stared into her brown eyes for a few moments with concern in his own.
"I will ask Doctor J if there is anything we can put on them. Okay?"
"Kay," Ashley replied softly. Suddenly Kori and Dakota walked in the room. Dakota smiled happily at the sight of her Daddy and Ashley sitting there smiling back at her.
"Daddy!" she greeted cheerfully, and she ran over and hopped up onto the bed before crawling over to them and Nick pulled her into his lap, hugged her close and he kissed her forehead affectionately.
"Hi baby…did you have fun with uncle AJ?"
"Uh huhs! I helped him buy Brookie some pretty flowers!"
"Well that was very good of you," Nick praised. "I'm sure she will love them." Dakota beamed and Nick smiled at her in return. She then looked at Ashley and she threw her arms around her and hugged her too.
"Hi Ashee!"
"Hi sweetheart," Ashley replied and she hugged Dakota back lovingly, before looking at Kori who came and sat on the bed also.
"So how long did it take you after I called to make it G rated in here, Hmm?" She teased.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ashley replied innocently.
"Sure you don't," Kori replied, looking at Nick and Ashley with knowing smiles. "How was your shower?"
"Quite lovely," Ashley answered. "Nick had one afterwards."
"I see," Kori laughed. Ashley just smirked and lay back against the pillows with Dakota lying on top of her with her head rested against her chest. Nick lay back on his side and gently rubbed his hand over Dakota's back. Ashley lay there looking at her sister for a few moments in silence, then she spoke up again.
"So Kori…I was talking to Nick about stuff last night…and I've asked him to ask Detective Stabler to see who is living in our old house now and what happened to all of mom and dads things…our things. Is that okay with you?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, sure…if it's important for you to find out, go ahead."
"But aren't you a little curious to find out also?"
"Yeah…yeah I'm curious." Ashley narrowed her eyes at her.
"You don't sound too sure about that…"
"I am curious, Ash. I mean it, I am. But you and I are handling their death in two different ways here…don't get mad at me okay? Just hear me out…people grieve in many different ways." Kori began, as tears clouded her eyes but she willed them not to fall. "I have a LOT of guilt built up inside of me…I feel…I feel responsible for….what happened and I'm not sure if I can bear to step foot inside that house…that I used to live in, knowing that it happened there and because of my stupidity, I wasn't there to stop it. I don't know if I could handle going through all of their things…knowing that they were mom and dad's belongings…it's too painful for me. Just like it's too painful for you to let them go. You're holding onto mom and dad with all your might…everything that belonged to them, all your memories, staying here in Florida where they raised us…that is how your grieving. I can't bear to think of those things…it would hurt too much." Ashley looked at Kori in silence for a couple of minutes as tears fell from her own eyes, and she tried her very hardest to understand what her sister is trying to explain to her. Unlike Kori, Ashley will cry without any hesitation at all. If she feels the need to show that kind of emotion, she will. It's what she does to vent. She is a very emotional person, while her sister on the other hand…tries to be the tough one. But ever since she came back to Florida….the one place she swore she'd never come back to, the place that is full of so many painful memories from her mistakes all the way down to her parent's death, that's all she seems to do is cry and it's killing her. All she wants to do is run again. If it weren't for her sister, she would be out of this place before anyone had time to blink. Just like before…but she swore to Ashley she wouldn't leave her like before, and she is not breaking that promise.
"It's my fault….isn't it," Ashley replied softly, causing Kori to look up at her with a raised eyebrow.
"What's your fault? You didn't do anything wrong…"
"Yes I did…I made you feel responsible…I spent all this time blaming you. I didn't mean to…it's me who should be the blame"
"Ashley don't -"
"- Nick please…you know it's true. If I hadn't gotten sick that day they wouldn't have even been there…they wouldn't have! They would be driving me to school instead but they weren't! I had to be sick, so I had to stay home so they were murdered because of me!"
"Ashley…we've been through this already," Nick replied, wrapping both of his arms around her.
"It was NOT your fault!" Kori demanded, becoming angry that she would even say such a thing. "It wasn't! You can't control when you get sick, Ashley! No one can. It just happens!"
"But -"
"- NO! Stop it. It WASN'T your fault! You didn't know that Sean was going to break in and kill them! If anything, it was my fault and only my fault. I knew what he was capable of doing. I never should have left you all there not knowing what could happen! So unprotected…the only person who has the right to blame their self is ME. I'm the one who pissed Sean off, he was after ME. I will NEVER EVER be able to forgive myself…and don't beat yourself up for blaming me…it's okay…because I was already blaming myself long before I stepped foot inside this state!" Kori exclaimed, and she suddenly gave in and began to cry. Ashley sat up and for the first time ever since Kori had arrived, she wrapped her arms around her and she hugged her tightly, though made sure not to squish Dakota who still sat in her lap (but had fallen asleep) in the process. Nick gently took Dakota from her and cradled her in his own arms. He got up with her and went over to the lazy boy chair and he sat down in it with her, deciding to leave the two sisters somewhat alone so that they can finally grieve together. Ashley began to sob as she felt Kori wrap her arms tightly around her, and she buried her face in her shoulder. They sat like that for a long time, then when they had both stopped crying, Kori lay down and pulled Ashley with her before resting her forehead against hers. Ashley closed her eyes and it wasn't long until she had fallen asleep. Kori remained lying there in silence, just holding her close. It felt really good to cry for once…which is really weird for her. She has no idea why it felt so good. Maybe it's because she wasn't alone…maybe because she had her sister there to share her pain and cry a long with her…who knows. Suddenly Nick spotted Doctor Johnson at the door and he looked from Kori and Ashley to Nick confused. Nick got up cradling Dakota and he pushed the handle to the lazy boy chair, making the leg rest come out. When he did, he carefully lay Dakota on it and he covered her up with her blanket, before going out in the hall to talk to Doctor Johnson.
"What's wrong with Kori and Ashley?"
"Nothing, really. They're just finally grieving together is all."
"Oh…well that's good."
"Yeah…so anyway, what's up?"
"Well I have good news for you, is what's up."
"Really? That's great…we could really use some good news around here."
"Kota and Sarah are going to be just fine," Doctor Johnson replied, a sincere grin on his face as he does. Nick smiled too and he suddenly felt like he could cry happy tears right about now.
"Really? My baby is okay? And Sarah too?"
"Mm hmm. I can happily announce that they're physically okay. Emotionally….I'm not so sure, but he didn't give them any kind of diseases or anything serious like that. So as far as that goes, they are fine."
"Well…now that you bring the emotionally okay part up, I'm a little worried about Sarah…she hasn't spoken a word since the incident."
"Yeah, I've noticed. There really isn't much I can do for that Nick…she has to fix that on her own. She herself, chooses not to speak…its her way of dealing with the pain. All we can really do for her right now is love her and help her feel safe and let her know that we're here for her…and in time, when she's ready, she'll speak."
"Kay…"
"How is Kota?"
"She's doing a LOT better…she's not so clingy as she was…she's starting to let go a little bit - but only a little bit. I can tell that she's still in a little bit of pain and she's been seeking a lot of love from us lately - she's a lot more cuddly then usual…"
"Yeah, so what Kota needs is pretty much the same thing as Sarah. She just needs to feel loved and safe and be reminded that we're here for her."
"Kay…" Nick replied softly.
"How about you? Are you okay? I know I haven't seen you so emotionally upset ever in the entire four years that I've known you. It about broke everybody's heart watching you go through all of that. Maybe you should see somebody…you know incase you want to get stuff off your chest…I know someone who is really great, I can ask her to see you if you want me to…"
"I'm fine, J, thanks for the offer though."
"Are you sure? Because there's nothing wrong in going to see a therapist, Nick. Especially in traumatizing situations like that."
"Yeah I'm sure. Brian, AJ, Howie, and Kevin have been my therapists…when I have something on my mind I'm not afraid to go to them and talk about it. Brian especially…I know I would have fallen apart by now if it weren't for him."
"Okay…if you say so. But the offer still stands, if you ever want professional help I can get it for you."
"Thanks," Nick replied, and he pulled Doctor Johnson in for a hug. Doctor Johnson hugged him back and when he pulled away he patted Nick's shoulder.
"Anyway, I've gotta go talk to Riley. I'll see you later?"
"Kay," Nick replied. Doctor Johnson walked away and Nick went back into the bedroom to find Kori still lying there next to Ashley with her arms wrapped around her and just watching her sleep. He went over and scooped Dakota up into his arms and Kori looked at him curiously.
"Everything okay?" She asked softly, wiping her tears from her eyes. "What'd J have to say?"
"That Kota and Sarah are going to be fine," Nick answered. "He just got their results back….you know, from when they got examined after the incident." Kori couldn't help but smile a little bit.
"That's great Nick, I'm happy for you." She told him. Nick smiled to and he carried Dakota over to the bed and sat next to Ashley.
"Are you okay?" He asked, looking at Kori with concern.
"I'll be okay…as much as I hate to cry, it really felt good this time…I don't know why though…it's all so confusing and weird…"
"Because you had someone who feels your pain to cry a long with you?" Nick suggested knowingly. Kori nodded.
"Yeah…I think so."
"It's good to see that the two of you are finally coming together…I bet it feels good to grieve with someone, rather then alone."
"It does…it also feels good that she's stopped blaming me…and is finally on my side."
"Well, like we've all been telling you since the beginning….the more you stick around, the more she's going to start warming up to you."
"Yeah…she's the only reason I'm still in this miserable state…if I could I would high-tail it back to New Jersey as soon as possible. There are too many painful memories here….and it's killing me. This is the most I've cried in my whole life."
"Maybe it's good for you then…" Nick suggested. "Maybe you need to be here….face your pain, let it all out, otherwise you're never going to get past it. Maybe if you go back to your parent's old house with your sister and look at your old things it might help you feel better….you know?"
"I don't think so…I think all it will do is make me feel even more guilty then I already am…"
"I know you feel bad for what happened…and are blaming yourself, and I understand. But despite your mistakes, you've gotta know your parents loved you and I'm sure they would want you to let it go."
"Why would they love me? I practically sent them both to their deaths. If I were them I would never have even moved on…I probably would've stayed here as ghosts and haunted me for the rest of my life."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile, downstairs, Riley, Brian, and Howie were all still sitting outside under the tree talking. Kevin had woken up and joined them, and Elenore had run off to play with Josh, Chris, and Spencer. Brooke and AJ had also come out too, to join the adults under the tree. While they were sitting there talking, Riley's cell phone suddenly rang. She looked down at her caller ID and she groaned when she saw who it was.
"You don't have to answer it…he's not your problem anymore." Brian reassured.
"He is too my problem…until he finally signs those damn divorce papers, he is my problem." She replied, and she turned on the phone and put it to her ear.
"What do you want?" was her reply.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.
Enjoy =)
Enjoy =)
