Chapter 49
Lindsay POV
It was Christmas eve. Everything looked festive, but I didn’t feel festive. At all.
But saying that I had spent all day baking a Christmas cake, cookies for santa and putting the finishing touched around the house.
There were four stockings pinned to the fire place. The tree was perfect. The house looked perfect. I should have felt happy, but in all honesty I felt like shit. I hadn’t slept for the few nights since I had done the negative test. I felt sick and grouchy and I was surprised that Nick wanted me around.
I was taking it out on him big style and was very much aware of how I was being. Which was weird.
“We’re hooooome!” Nick’s voice bellowed out from the front door, followed by chaos.
“GOT PWESEEENTS!!!”
I walked out the living room and couldn’t help but smile as Casey tried to pull in a huge sack of gifts. Nick had taken the kids to Dan’s and Bob’s for the day. Spending the morning at Dan’s before finishing off at Bob’s I knew they would come back with loads of presents. But that bag alone was way too much.
“I can see that.” I smiled at Summer who was watching Casey attempting to bring the big bag inside.
“It smells amazing in here.” Nick groaned and peaked inside the kitchen making me smile.
“Everything is done for later and tomorrow. Is it ok if I go lay down for a bit though? I know the kids are due a nap, but can you put them down? I’m just feeling a bit sick. Didn’t sleep much last night.” I sighed feeling guilty that I was leaving Nick with the kids again.
He smiled at me and leant in to kiss me once he was close enough. “Sure, babe. I’ll put them down and come lay with you if you want? I missed you all day.” he sighed out in content and I wondered how he could miss me when I had been nothing but a pain all week.
“I..I dunno. I’m hardly good company, but cuddles would be nice…” I sighed knowing I was being a horrible wife.
“Cuddles it is…” Nick grinned at me. “Summer sweetie can you help mommy upstairs? And find your teddy?” Nick winked at me. I hadn’t thought of bringing Summer with me into our bed to make her nap quicker. It always worked to cuddle with her when she was due a nap. And I definitely didn’t mind cuddling with my little girl. She was so cute when she was tired and snuggling against me as she fell asleep.
Plus as it didn’t look like I would be reproducing it was only right I put them first. I felt bad feeling so upset about not having a baby when I had two adorable kids already.
I picked Summer up and carried her upstairs, smiling as she hugged me. She was getting so big, and it made me sad knowing she was over the baby stage and well into the toddler stage.
We were settled on the bed in no time, once Summer had found her teddy, and I was lulling her to sleep by stroking her hair. She was looking more grown up day by day. She still looked a lot like Paige, but her features were changing. Nick probably couldn’t tell, but she had his smile. She also had his ears, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
The door opened a while later and Nick walked in, silently picking Summer up and walking out the room.
I rolled over onto my stomach to get comfortable but felt a wave of nausea hit me causing me to roll back onto my side again. I hadn’t been able to eat normally the past week, feeling as if food was growing in my mouth and as a result I felt sick whenever my body wasn’t balanced how it pleased itself.
I heard Nick walk back into the room minutes later and slide next to me. To my surprise he was only wearing his boxers as he pulled me close and kissed into my neck.
“Maybe we can nap too baby. Missed you so damn much today. And I found the perfect christmas present for you as well. Tomorrow is going to be amazing.” he whispered softly and I felt myself get emotional at how sweet he was being. I loved hearing that he missed me after only being out a couple of hours with the kids.
“Gee, and I only got you normal wifey presents.” I pouted as he pulled me closer before kissing me.
“I love normal wifey presents.” He mumbled against my lips before kissing me deeply.
He took my mind off everything as we kissed each other softly before I eventually felt my eyes get heavy. This was what I loved. Falling asleep in his arms.
***
“SANTA SANTAAA!”
I groaned as the bed moved and lifted my head, seeing one set of green eyes and one set of blue eyes looking at me excitedly. Last I remembered I had fallen asleep in Nick’s arms. So I was definitely alarmed when I looked at the clock on the tv to see it read 8am.
“Merry Christmas baby. Santa’s been. You wanna see what he brought?” Nick leant over me and kissed me softly. I went to answer when I weird chill went over me and I felt my stomach churn. I cursed myself off for not eating the day before as I ran to the bathroom and brought what little my stomach had in it up and in the toilet bowl.
Nick was next to me in seconds and pulled my hair back only to help me stand and guide me over to the sink so I could rinse my mouth out. Once I was done he pulled me into his arms and let me lean against his chest while he gently rubbed my back.
“You’ve been sleeping for 14 hours baby. I didn’t have the heart to wake you after the kids nap yesterday, thought you deserved to have as much sleep as you wanted. You wanna go back to bed or can I give you my present now?” he whispered softly as if he wasn’t even phased by the fact I had just vomited like no other.
“Ugh no. It’s Christmas. I wanna be there when they open their gifts. Just… let me wash my face. Could you get me some crackers and water when I come down. I should have woken myself up to eat. I havent eaten in nearly a day.” I groaned before turning the tap on and letting the cold water run through my fingers.
“You sure baby?”
I glanced up and was weirded out when I found him smiling. “Uh yea. Go… I’ll be down in a minute.” I waved him out the bathroom before peeing and washing my face and brushing my teeth again. The horrible taste was back in my mouth, grossing me out. At least the nausea had gone though. I really needed to eat.
I chuckled as I walked into the living room. Summer and Casey were eyeing up all the presents, and I could already tell Nick had told them numerous times to wait till I had come down judging by the way they jumped up as I walked in.
Neatly on the table was a plate with dry crackers on and a glass of water. I thanked Nick before sipping at the water and grabbing a cracker. The kids started attacking the presents, and I was lost in their expressions, watching them excited as they opened their gifts one by one. I felt something slide onto my leg and looked down, seeing a long box with a bow on.
“Merry Christmas babe.”
I looked up at him before picking the box up. I panicked, having only got Nick simple gifts like clothes and a new watch. I hadn’t expected expensive jewellery. I smiled as I took the bow off and stuck it on the top of Nick’s head before tearing the paper off, but froze when I saw a pregnancy test.
“Is this a joke?” I looked up at him, tears blurring my vision.
“Of course not baby. You’re tired a lot. You’re dizzy, emotional and all over the place. Feeling sick, and irritable. I think that’s reason enough to have this taken baby, and it’s a more accurate one than what we tried last. This will tell you how many weeks if you are pregnant as well. I know you got really upset last time baby but those tests don’t always tell the truth. And with how you’ve been the past week I’m pretty sure you are pregnant. Please don’t be mad at me. “ he smiled at me and moved my hair out of my face as I felt myself get emotional and annoyed all at the same time, as feeling overwhelmed, but caught myself before I snapped at him knowing he would take that as another sign.
Instead I silently put it down in my lap and focused on the kids. Casey had unwrapped all his presents already and was trying to get in on Summer’s.
I placed the test to one side before sliding down on the floor and helping her with her presents. I couldn’t even look at Nick at that moment. He seemed so sure that I was pregnant. But surely I’d know myself, right?
***
“You don’t need to do that now you know.”
I sighed as Nick walked in the kitchen. I was in the middle of peeling potatoes ready for Dinner. As soon as the kids were done with their presents I had made my way in here. Sure, I was avoiding the test. But Nick had no idea just how hurt I had been when it read negative before, why would I want to hear it all over again?
“Better to get it done now than rush later.”
Nick grabbed my hands from behind before pulling me back slightly. “Baby you were sick this morning. Let me do this. Go sit with the kids. Summer wants someone to play dollies with her, and Casey’s far too interested in the cars he got.”
I sighed. Nick was being too nice. It was my job to do the cooking. I’m the mom, the wife. It was our first Christmas together and I wanted to make it special.
“I’ve nearly done the potatoes now. Turkey is in the oven. Let me finish this then I’ll go sit with the kids. Why don’t you play with her for now.” I tried to move away but he turned me around.
“Baby, no amount of cooking or anything will take your mind off that test. I know your pregnant, but this test is very accurate and it should be, it wasn’t cheap. Why don’t you go do the test and I’ll finish this off. I know you want to.”
I shook my head. “No Nick, I don’t. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to see I was right all along. I’m not pregnant. You should just deal with it and move on.” I moved away from him and back to the potatoes.
I heard him sigh before walking out the room.
Why couldn’t he see things my way? It hurt enough knowing I wouldn’t be having kids with him. We lost our first baby, and that was still nagging at me, but now he wanted me to take another test only for me to see that it was negative. I didn’t want to know. I already knew…
I sighed feeling tears slide down my face.
Who bought a pregnancy test for their wife as a Christmas present? What was he thinking?
I had gotten him a few really good things and I got a pregnancy test. He had said it was expensive but I would rather have something cheap that wouldn’t make me even more depressed than I already was.
I finished the food in the kitchen and cleaned up a little bit before I walked back into the living room where Nick and the kids were. He glanced up at me as I walked in giving me a soft smile as Summer was cuddled on his lap showing him whatever it was that was going on with her doll. They looked cute together, and before I knew it my vision was blurry and I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I had two perfect little kids, but I wanted a biological one that was ours. I wanted to be pregnant and feel what it was like even though I knew I never would.
I felt selfish. Most people would kill for the family I have. I was lucky. I should count my blessings.
But it wasn’t fair that I’d had to lose my baby. That wasn’t fair, and I felt like I was owed something. I’d married the man of my dreams, the man who had fathered my poor baby that had been taken from me before I could even acknowledge them.
I walked over to the couch and grabbed the test, making Nick look up at me. I fought the urge to cry and instead looked at him.
“Lets see how useful your Christmas present to me is, I’d say you should have kept the receipt, but no ones gonna want to take back a piss covered stick.” I turned around and stalked out of the room, feeling mad at the world. I didn’t intend of using it, even if the temptation to prove Nick wrong was stronger than anything.
I hid the test in my bedside drawer before getting in the shower. As long as I didn’t see the test everything would be ok.
***
An hour later and I was stood in the bathroom, fully dressed. I’d done my hair and make up.
And was now staring at that damn test.
After my shower I had dug it back out the drawer and read the instructions. Nick hadn’t been kidding when he said the test would tell me how far pregnant I was. Not only that but would determine a rough due date. I’d peed on it before I could think about it and focused on hair and make up.
“Babe?”
There was a knock on the bathroom door. I’d locked it behind me and forgotten. Sighing I tidied up slightly before picking the test up and slipping it around. I checked the results over before shoving it in the waste bin and unlocking the door, swinging it open.
It was only when I saw Nick’s concerned face staring back at me when I realised what the test had actually said.
Pregnant. 6 weeks.
“You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Nick’s voice was soft.
I ran back into the bathroom and dug the test out of the bin to look at it, and it still said the same as it had before. Pregnant. 6 Weeks.
Someone was pulling one on me right? This test was pre set and no matter what I did with it I’d get the same result.
Nick moved up behind me and slid his arms around my waist before hugging me tightly. “Babe, what’s going on…” he murmured as his hands moved along my stomach slowly.
“This was a joke gift, wasn’t it? It’s not real, you just did it to make me feel better.. Didn’t you!” I turned around and shoved the test into his chest. My heart was pounding and I could barely breathe as Nick took the test and looked at it before looking up at me.
“Baby… your pregnant.”
I shook my head. “No I’m not. It’s a sick sick joke. Stop it!” The tears rolled down my face, and I covered my face with my hands.
“Baby this is no joke.. Lindsay..” He pulled me closer and I found myself sobbing into his chest and he told me over and over again that I was pregnant. It was only when I started to calm down that it sunk in. And then I realised it was me being upset the last time that had caused me to miscarry.
I tightened my arms around Nick not knowing what to say. I felt stupid for treating him the way I had that morning. If I had only listened to him I wouldn’t have acted like a complete bitch. Nor would I have made such a fool out of myself in front of him.
Here I was crying and whining like some spoiled bitch when I should be smiling and jumping him down. I was pregnant, and he had already known about it before I did myself.
That explained why he had been so considerate the past week, and forced me to rest whenever I came down tired from nothing. And it definitely explained why he had been grinning so much and kept his hands on my stomach every chance he had.
“I’m pregnant..” I mumbled softly, and sighed in content when his tightened his hold on me.
“Your pregnant. I told you huh. And now we have the results I can give you your real Christmas present.”
I looked up at him as he smiled and wiped my tears away. I smiled back. “I thought the test was my present.”
Nick chuckled before pulling me close and guiding me out the bathroom. “Baby, I know I’m a guy, but I know better than to leave that as your only present. Plus, with my wife being pregnant I need to spoil her, don’t you think?”
I nodded before snuggling against him.
I was pregnant. That was by far the best Christmas present my husband could give me. Ever.
Chapter End Notes:
Ok guys so just to warn you... your four chapters away from the end. We can't quite believe that its over for us, so we've decided that we want you guys to tell us what kind of story you want us to write next. either review, or email us or anything. Or come over to the forum and pm us. We need new ideas :)
