"What are you doing?" AJ whispered so low that I almost didn't hear. I put a finger to my lips. I used my height advantage to stand on my tiptoes and peer in the window.
I was a man in love, there was no doubt about that, but I couldn't help but stare at the hot ass scene that my eyes were suddenly being treated to.
Dee, er Rochelle, er (what the hell was up with girls' names lately?) had taken off her shirt. She had on a black bra with red skulls all over it and was dipping ice cubes all over her body. I totally wanted to howl 'arooo-ga,' but instead I knelt down next to J.
"You gotta see this," I said.
"I thought you said we were going to find out Ro's...Dee's...whatever-the-fuck-her-name-is's name. What do I have to see?"
I got down, doggy style. "Get on me."
"Dude."
He was looking at me in disgust. I patted my back. "Use me as a stepstool," I hissed.
J still didn't look like he was up for my plan, but the thought of stepping on my back was too tempting to refuse. I grunted as he put one foot and then the other on my back. I bore the whole of his weight. My chest screamed. What was I thinking?
From above, I heard a moan. The weight lifted off my back a little. J was using the bus to pull himself even more for a better view. His mouth was moving but words weren't coming out.
"Dude, I better not feel anything wet drip down on me," I warned quietly.
After another minute, he jumped off my back. He was totally red. "I need name confirmation," he said seriously.
I was surprised he could still think about a little thing like a name at a time like this. I sat on the floor for a second, just thinking. Then I jumped up.
"Rocccheeeellee eeeeee," I said in a deep, low, ghost-like type voice. "Cooooomeeeeee toooo the winddddowwwwww ww."
AJ looked at me wide-eyed. For a minute I Was sure he was going to smack me in the head. Finally, he started waving his hands frantically. I grabbed him by the neck and threw him around the corner of the bus. We both peeked back around.
She was looking out the window.
"Who's there?" she demanded.
"Rochelle!" I called out in a high pitch voice that I prayed would pass as Lyndsey's.
"What?" she yelled back.
I looked at J and gave him a nudge.
"That was the lamest thing ever," he whispered. I smirked. "Worked, didn't it?"
He couldn't argue with that. He walked around the bus and headed right to the window. It was kind of like Romeo and Juliet, except Romeo was almost bald and covered in tattoos and Juliet looked like she was going to open her mouth and lava was gonna come pouring out.
"Stop jacking around," she complained. J smiled.
"I wasn't."
He pulled himself up using the ledge again. Rochelle didn't move.
"I like your bra," J said. I smacked my forehead. Was I that stupid? She was going to kill him!
"Actually, I love everything about you Rochelle Deanna Karidis."
I dropped my hand just in time to see J kiss her. He had made perfect use of the whole name move. Surprisingly, Rochelle didn't back away or slam the window into his domed up head either. I backed away to give them their time.
My job was done. I needed to lie down again. Match-making had zapped all my energy.
Without Lauren, my heart was totally puttering out.
I poked my head out of my bunk, clutching the curtain around my neck. I threw a precursory glance to the left, then to the right. Nobody was around. I ducked back into my bunk. "I think it's clear," I whispered.
Dee - er, Rochelle - was clutching her shirt and shorts to her chest. We'd managed to wrangle her bra back around her but the bunk wasn't exactly spacious and she'd accidentally kneed me once trying to get the teeny tiny shorts back onto her ass. We'd decided she'd be better off making a run for the bathroom.
"Are you sure?" she asked, "I don't want Nick seeing me."
"Howie lives here too," I reminded her.
"Yeah but Nick's a horny pig, Howie's --" she shrugged, "He's Howie."
"Good point."
I stuck my head back out and found myself face to face with Nick, who'd been just about to reach for my curtain. Nick blinked in surprise, our noses almost touching. "JESUS NICK!" I yelled. Behind me, I felt Dee freeze.
"J," Nick's voice was sad, "J... You gotta help me, you gotta bring me to a strip club or something... You gotta get Lauren outta my head. I'm obsessed, J, I'm going crazy. I can't stop thinking 'bout her, I can't! Every time I try, she like haunts me..."
"I- I uh, I-"
"Please AJ? I hooked you up with Rochelle didn't I? I helped you."
Rochelle kicked my calves.
"OW!" I shouted, "JE-SUS."
Nick blinked in surprise.
"I mean. Yeah. I can do that."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Yeah, whatever," I answered. I had to get him to leave. How the hell did I make him leave? He stared at me with big puppy dog eyes. "Hey - since I'm so awesome and I'm gonna help you get over Razzo, maybe you could go get me like... a- a- uh- a danish."
Rochelle kicked me again.
"Uh two danishes," I said.
"Okay..." Nick looked at me funny. "You okay J?"
"Yes. I'm just really hungry for danishes." I tried to send him a telepathic messageto go the fuck away.
"Right." Nick nodded.
Once he'd left the bus, I drew the curtains open and toppled out. Dee followed and she quickly bolted for the bathroom door, and disappeared inside. I grabbed my t-shirt and pulled it on over my head.
Dee hadn't even come out of the bathroom yet when Nick returned.
"Brian had danishes on the bus, I didn't even hafta leave."
"I don't want Brian's danishes," I said, "I need you to leave."
Nick blinked. "What?"
"LEAVE," I said, pushing him towards the door of the bus, the box of danishes he stole from the Littrell bus still clutched in his hands. I shoved him to the stairs and he staggered down them and onto the cement. I was about to pull the door shut when his eyes bugged and he jumped back into the jamb, blocking the door.
"You had sex," he hissed.
"Go. The fuck. Away."
"You had sex with Dee," he hissed again. His eyes were wider than watermelons. "Oh my God, you porked her."
"Nick, I love your poetic romanticism, but --"
"You're gonna do it again!" he said in dismay, "Thats' why you're kickin me out! Is she coming? Is she on the way over?" he looked around.
"Nick. Leave."
"HOLY SHIT, she's on the bus!" he concluded.
"Nick. GO."
"Was she there all night? Oh my God, you were having hot monkey sex while I was asleep in the bunk right under you weren't you?!?" His nose scrunched up. "Ew you had sex on top of me."
"That's a fuckin wonderful visual, thanks for that. Now LEAVE." I pushed him and he stumbled backwards and I slammed the bus door. I could hear him yelling something about telling Howie and Howie was gonna ban sex on the bus, but I ignored him and flipped the lock on the door.
Dee was just coming out of the bathroom when I got to the top of the steps. She stared at me. I stared back. We stood about six feet apart, staring. "Thanks," she said quietly, "For um..." she motioned to the bunk.
"Yeah," I said, "Thanks."
I was so used to calling her Dee, but she made a beautiful Rochelle. The name just fit her. It just made her complete, like the perfect accessory. Her hair was all messy from the sex, and her face, freshly washed and devoid of make up, glowed. She rubbed her elbow.
I couldn't take it any longer.
I moved to her quickly, pulled her into my chest and let my mouth melt into hers. She gasped and wrapped her arms around my neck, and I picked her up. Her perfect legs wrapped around my waist and she hung off of me as I carried her back into the depths of the bus to the sofa. "I wanna have more hot monkey sex with you," I mumbled into her mouth, "Hot monkey sexy forever and ever..."
She laughed and we toppled onto the sofa cushions, my body hovering over hers, her heels digging into the small of my back. Her hands ran up my neck and through my hair, sending a shiver down my spine and awakening every nerve ending in my nether regions.
"Yeah, lots and lots of hot monkey sex," I muttered as she quickly moved so that she was on top, sitting on my chest. I stared up at her, admiring her. "You're beautiful," I whispered.
Rochelle's face broke into a smile, "Nah," she whispered.
"Yeah," I answered.
Her cheeks burned red. "Oh shut up Alex," she said.
I smirked. "On with the monkey sex!" I called out. She laughed and bent forward, her mouth connecting with mine.
.
