Shane was playing in his kiddie pool. He was happily playing with his water toys. Nick and I were sitting next to the pool enjoying the sunshine.

“He’s adorable, Josie. He’s so much like Bri.” Nick was amazed how much Shane was like Brian even though they never spent time together.

“I know.” I said sadly. I was getting tired of Brian’s attitude toward me. All he did was insult me, especially in front of other people. I tried to ignore it, but it was getting harder.

“How’s Brian been treating you?”

“Like crap. He tries finding little digs to hurt me. How can we be parents together if we can’t get along?”

“You both need to come together for Shane.”

I watched my son as he dumped a bucket of water on his head and chuckled. He was having too much fun. It put a smile on my face.

“Sometimes I wish I had gotten pregnant with you. At least I know you would have been there for me. You wouldn’t spread lies. You wouldn’t act like I’m horrible.” I sighed.

“We did have some good times together.” Nick smirked, remembering the nights we spent together.

“You two slept with each other?” Brian asked in disbelief.

I turned my head and saw him standing behind us.

“What are you eavesdropping again? Nick and I were having a private conversation.” I avoided his question.

“Did you sleep with Nick?” Brian growled.

“My sexual history is none of your business.” I stood up.

“I want an answer, Josie.”

“Leave me alone.” I hissed. I didn’t want to have this conversation with Brian.

“I’m not dropping the subject. How many Backstreet Boys have you fucked?”

“Well when you put it that way, there was the one time with AJ and Howie. Another time with Howie. At least a dozen times with Nick, and how could I forget a blow job for Kevin.” I replied calmly. Brian looked at me like he didn’t know if I was telling the truth or not. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know either way.

“Josie you better tell me. I want to know. You better tell me now.” Brian’s nostrils were flaring. I knew he was furious with me, but I didn’t care.

“I’m going to take Shane inside for lunch and a nap. I think you should talk.” Nick grabbed the towel and went over to get Shane. Then he quickly went in the house.

“Why is it so important for you to know who I’ve slept with? It’s not like we’ve ever been together.” I sat down on the grass. Brian sat down next to me.

“I don’t like you sleeping with my friends.”

“Why are you jealous?” I countered.

“No.”

“Then it shouldn’t matter if I slept with Nick.”

“You’re both my best friends. When did this happen?” He questioned.

I pulled my knees up to my chin and hugged them. I always did this when I was nervous or upset.

“Brian, you were always busy with Tiara. You kept pushing us aside to spend all your time with her. Nick and I started hanging out. We were both lonely and sex kind of just happened.”

“Was it a one time thing or…” Brian sounded extremely nervous.

“Umm…it was…umm...more than…umm once.”

“Oh.”

“Brian it was purely physical. There were no emotions involved.”

I looked at him. For the first time Brian looked sad. Was he really that upset that I had sex with Nick? He didn’t want me in that way, so why did he care about it.

“Were you sleeping with him at the same time we you know?” Brian looked me in the eyes.

“No. He was dating Kelcie at the time. We didn’t have sex when we were dating someone. Plus I was in love with someone else.”

Brian didn’t say anything. For a few minutes both of us were lost in our thoughts. I had one question I needed him to answer.

“Why did you sleep with me that night?”

“Josie, that night there was something different about you. You looked unbelievable in that little black dress. When we were dancing I felt something between us. I should have never acted on it. I was getting married. What kind of man would do that to his future wife?”

“Do you regret that night?” I don’t know why I asked him that. His every action showed that he did.

“Yes and no.”

“Could you explain that to me?” I whispered.

“I regret it because I betrayed Tiara. Then I pretended like it never happen. She still doesn’t know what happened. I couldn’t bear to tell her. I think that’s why our marriage didn’t last.”

“Brian, I’m sorry you had to live with that regret.”

“That means a lot to me. Do you regret it?”

“I regret losing my best friend. I don’t regret it because I got Shane out of that night.” I answered honestly. “It was the best night of my life.”

“Really? I was better than the infamous Nick Carter!” He said in mock surprise. I gave him a quick shove in the arm.

“Don’t let Carter now, but you’re the best I ever had.”

“I’m better than Nick Carter! I’m better than Nick Carter!” He sang for all the neighbors to hear.

“You sure are conceited.” I smacked him in the arm. He scooted closer to me. His face moved closer to mine. Our lips were almost touching. Slowly he placed his lips on mine. My mind was lost in the moment. Within a minute he broke the kiss.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to mislead you.”

“Brian, whatever. You keep leading me on. Either you want me or you don’t.” I stood up.

“Josie, I’m sorry. I don’t know what made me kiss you. It won’t happen again. My life is upside down at the moment. I want to get to get to know my son better. I promise to be civil with you. I don’t want Shane to think we hate each other. I don’t hate you. I’m angry with you, and we need to talk about things.”

“Fine Brian.” I walked towards that house. My one wish was that he would love me as much as I loved him.