“I just saw your tweet. Why is your life hell?” Nick asked. He called Brian to see what was wrong.

“Everything.” Brian mumbled. He was not in the mood for a heart to heart with Nick. He just wanted to wallow in his pity. Brian was fine lounging around in bed all day.

“Well, that is certainly vague. Do you care to be more specific?”

“Since when did you start talking like a psychiatrist? Natasha left me for Josh.”

“That sucks ass. I know you really loved her.” Nick was trying to be sympathetic, but he never really liked Natasha. She just wasn’t right for Brian.

“I was going to ask her to marry me.”

“Do you want to play some basketball? Help get your mind off of things.”

“I’m in Kentucky. I needed to get away from it all, but that backfired.” Brian pushed the covers off him and stretched.

“Why? What happened?”

“When I came home, my mom had guests staying in my room. I can’t even relax or process all the shit I’m going through.”

“Who’s visiting?”

“You sure are nosy. Josie and her son, if you want to know.”

“Holy shit. That sucks balls. No wonder your life is hell. How is Jo Jo? She has a son?”

“You sure are nosy today.  She still hates me. Shane Thomas is two.” Brian answered morosely. He wanted more answers from her when it came to Shane.

“Interesting middle name. Is he yours?” Nick remembered the morning he walked into on the two of them fighting.

“What makes you think that?” Brian gulped.

“It makes sense with the timing of your fight. Brian you need to find out.”

There was a knock at the door. Brian walked over to open it. Shane stood there with his teddy bear in his arm.

“Good morning…Bwian. Yoo pway wif me?” Shane squeaked.

“Nick, I got to go.” He quickly hung up the phone. “Sure I’ll play with you.”

“Wet’s go, Bwian.” Shane grabbed his hand and pulled me into the hallway.

Shane took me into the living room. Blocks were scattered all over the floor. Shane placed his bear on the couch. Then he sat down by a pile of blocks.

“Yoo sit by me.”

Brian sat down next to the little boy. The both began stacking the blocks. Shane’s tower was getting bigger by the minute. He slowly stood up and placed a block on the top.

His mind started to wander. Nick’s words were haunting him. Is he yours?  You need to find out. He had tried talking to Josie about it, but she brushed him off. It seemed like any conversation about Shane’s father was off limits. Then again, Josie wanted nothing to do with him. He knew that he had mistreated her that night three years ago. Brian would go back in a heartbeat to change what happened. One amazing night cause him to lose his best friend. It was funny how one action could be engrained in your memory forever. It felt like only yesterday that he made love to Josie.

“Brian, earth to Brian.” Jackie said while giving her son a strange look.

“Sorry mom. I was lost in thought.”

“What’s the real reason you’re visiting? For the last three days you’ve hidden in your room. This isn't like you Brian.” She looked at him with love and concern.

“Natasha dumped me for another guy. The guy was a close friend of mine. Mom, I was going to ask her to marry me.”

“Brian, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you’re hurting. No one deserves to get hurt by two people they care about.”

“Yeah, that’s why I came up here. I needed time away from everything that reminded me of her.”

“Well, you don’t seem relaxed.”

“Mom, now I have the added pressure of Josie being around. It just brings a new set of complications back into my life.”

I had just stepped inside the house, when I heard Brian talking to his mom. I stayed in the foyer eavesdropping on a private conversation I had no right to hear. I couldn’t stop myself.

“I know it’s none of my business, but what happened between the two of you?” Jackie was certainly curious. After three years she still couldn’t figure out what went wrong.

“Gosh mom, it’s so complicated. I don’t even know where to begin. We got into a big argument.”

“I figured you had a fight. Why won’t either of you discuss it? I’ve never seen two people not want to work things out.”

Jackie just didn’t understand. This was more than just two best friends getting in a fight. We weren’t little kids. An apology wasn’t enough, at least in my book. I felt used by Brian that night. It made me feel dirty and unworthy of any man’s love. After that night my feelings toward men changed. I didn’t need one in my life. I was happy being alone.

“Mom it’s a little more complicated than you think. Some things can’t be fixed.” Brian sighed. He was not frustrated with his mom. His frustrations were with himself. That night meant more to him than he would have liked to admit.

“I think if you both stopped holding a grudge and talked about it, you could fix it.” Shane walked over and sat in Jackie’s lap.

“Mom, I’ve tried. Josie doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Maybe if you told me what happened, I can help.”

“Mom, thanks but no. It’s not something I care to talk about with my mother. I’d find myself rather embarrassed.”

Embarrassed. That’s what he thought about making love to me. Once again my heart felt broken in a million tiny pieces. I knew Brian regretted that night, but now I knew how much. I had to stop this conversation.

I walked into the living room. “Hey everyone!”

“Mommy. Bwi Bwi pwayed blocks wif me.” Shane smiled from Jackie’s lap.

“That was nice of him.” I smiled at Shane and Brian, even though I wanted to burst into tears. I could picture the two of them sitting on the floor together. It made me feel like a bad person for ruining everyone’s life. I don’t think I could go on much longer hurting the Littrell’s.