I sat on my favorite chair in the living room looking through the classifieds. I was looking for an apartment. I couldn’t continue to live with the Littrell’s. I would be able to afford a small apartment. Nothing fancy, but I didn’t need fancy.

Shane was taking a nap on the couch. He looked adorable with his butt in the air, hugging his bear. He looked so much like Brian.

Damn there was like one apartment I could afford. I threw the paper down on the coffee table.

“What time did you put Shane down for his nap?” Brian asked coldly.

“About fifteen minutes ago. Why?”

“I was just wondering.” He sat on the love seat. “Just trying to learn about my son.”

Brian knew how to make me feel guilty. Every time we were in the same room, he would purposely make digs at me. He didn’t care who was around. A few times his mother looked at him in shock at his comments. Apparently she didn’t know the truth yet.

“You can ignore me, but I’m not going away.”

“Whatever Brian. Could you please be quiet? I don’t want Shane to wake up. He needs his nap or he’ll be cranky the rest of the day.” I hissed quietly. He glared at me.

Jackie walked into the living room. She looked at us with that mother look. You know the look where your mom is going to make you talk about your problems.

“Could I see you both in the kitchen?” She said and walked out of the room.

“Great.’ I sighed. My head was starting to hurt.

“Shut up. You caused all of this. You know my mom wants us to be friends again. It won’t happen.”

“I don’t want to be your friend.” I pushed myself out of the chair and headed to the kitchen. I just wanted to get this friendship intervention over. Jackie meant well, but Brian hated me more than he ever did before.

-------------

“We’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and neither of you will talk. What is going on?”

Brian looked at me. I stared back at him. Neither of us was going to budge.

“This is ridiculous. You’ve been friends since you were in diapers. You can’t let an argument three years ago ruin a lifetime of friendship.” Jackie wiped her eyes.

I did feel bad that she was this upset with us. I never wanted to hurt her. She was like a second mom to me. Jackie was going to hate me when she found out the truth.

“Mom, don’t cry.” Brian patted her arm. “This has nothing to do with you. Things have happened to change my friendship with Josie. I thought I could get past it, but I recently found out some things that will never make me forgive her.”

Jackie looked at me.  What could I say? Brian had painted a bad picture of me. It wasn’t like she would take my side over Brian’s. I’ll be the first to admit that I did things that were unforgivable. I would never tell Brian that, but it was true. He had also done some unforgivable things. Neither of us were perfect. We both played a part in the blame game.

“Brian you act like you’re innocent. You are to blame as much as I am.” I said emotionally.

“Would you both stop playing the blame game? Instead of arguing about it, why don’t you get off your high horses and discuss it like rational adults.”

“Mom, you don’t get it.”

“Jackie, I’m sorry. This is the one time I agree with Brian. There is no way our friendship can be salvaged.”

“I’m shocked at both of you. I’ve never seen two people give up so quickly. I thought I knew both of you well enough. I guess I was wrong.”  Jackie was disappointed. Hell, I was disappointed in myself.

“Mom, you don’t get it. You don’t know what she’s done to me.” Brian pointed his finger at me.

“How would I know? Both of you are like Fort Knox. You keep it all to yourself.”

“Fine, you want to know. I’ll tell you.” He gave an evil smile.

“Shane is Brian’s son.” I blurted out.

“What?” Jackie’s eyes bulged out as she looked from Brian to me.

“Yes, I have a son that I just found out about three days ago.” Brian said through gritted teeth. I couldn’t look at Jackie.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m in shock. How did this happen?”

“I think we know how it happened. It was a mistake. Shane was the only good thing to come out of it.”  Tears started pouring out of my eyes.

“Would you stop crying? I’m so sick of the tears. You think it makes you look like the good guy. All of this is your fault.” He screamed.

“Brian Thomas Littrell. That is enough. I think you are just as much to blame. It takes two people to make a baby incase you forgot.”

Brian’s face fell. I knew he was upset with me.  I don’t think Jackie’s comments were helping the situation.

“Jackie, I understand if you want me to leave.”

“Josephine, you are going to stay here. I want to spend time with my grandson.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t even know we’re his family yet.” Brian commented under his breath.

“I’m going to tell him. He’s two years old. It’s going to be confusing.”

“Why can’t you tell him tonight?”

“Fine. Brian I will. Do you also want me to tell him to forget about me? You act like you don’t even want me in my son’s life. It’s like you want it to be you and Shane.”

“I would never do that. I’m not that kind of person. He needs BOTH parents. You’ve had him for two years. I’ve seen him for two weeks and didn’t know he was mine.”

“Are you insinuating that I’m that kind of person?”

“If the shoes fits.” He spat.

“Do you hear yourselves? I don’t think you should tell Shane anything until you get it together. He doesn’t need parents who are constantly down each other’s throat.” She admonished us. “I think you need to work your problems.”

Both of us sat there. Neither of us wanting to make the first move.

“Ma…ma…why…yoo…yelling at Bwi Bwi?” Shane was standing in the doorway, hugging his bear.

“Brian and your mommy are just talking really loud. Would you like to go to the park?” Jackie smiled at her grandson.

“Oh…kay.”

“I’ll leave you two here to figure your problems out. You need to realize what’s important.”

Jackie picked up Shane and left the kitchen.