CHAPTER 2

"It's been four months Amy. I love staying here, but don't you think I can make it on my own now?" Dottie was pacing back and forth. She knew Amy wanted her to stay, but she wanted her life back. She wanted to move on, but living with Amy seemed like a weakness. She long ago gave up feeling weak. She had to prove she was strong.

Amy had hoped to keep Dottie living with her. She had seen her friend’s vulnerable side over the past few months, but only occasionally. Dottie wanted to be a hard ass now, not letting anything bother her, but deep down, she was still hurt. Amy didn’t know what had caused such a deep pain in her friend’s heart; she just wanted to try to heal it.

“D, come on. Don’t move out. I love having you here and it’s nice to have someone to talk to in the evenings.”

“Yeah, like I’m such great company. A, I know you are trying, but I can’t do it. I’m not the person I was before and if I stay here, I’ll end up making you hate me.”

Amy sighed. “Listen to me. You are the same person. You have the same heart, the same soul, everything. You’ve just buried it underneath a lot of anger and hurt. I’m going to help you dig that person back up. I love you no matter what, but it’s time you came back to the living and realized life is here to live.”

Dottie felt tears gather in her eyes. Tears she didn’t want to let fall, but she knew they would. “A, I don’t know if I can be that person again. It hurt too much.”

Amy hugged her friend, helping her sort through all the pain. “You can be that person and more. I know how hurt you were. But you have to forgive to heal. I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t think you were ready. I’ve been talking to Howie. They want to talk to you. All of them are miserable because of this. They miss you.”

Dottie felt the familiar tension around her heart at hearing this, but she didn’t feel the anger she thought she would. She felt sadness. “I miss them too, A. Oh God, how I miss him.”

“Him? Howie? I didn’t know there was anything between you and Howie. Isn‘t he married?”

Realizing her slip, she knew she would have to explain what she meant. “A, no, there is nothing between Howie and me other than a friendship that used to be. It was never anything more. Yes, he‘s married…at least he was when I left.”

Amy knew she was hiding something. She had found a crack in the armor her friend had built up around her. “Come on, tell me. What’s going on? Who do you miss so much?”

Knowing there was no way out of it, she replied, “Nick. I miss Nick.”

“Nick? Nick Carter? I didn’t realize there was anything…” Amy trailed off as the truth dawned on her. “You love him, don’t you, D? And he doesn’t know?”

Dottie dropped her head to hide her tears. “Yes, I love him and no, he doesn’t know. Are you satisfied now? Amy, you can’t say anything, promise me you won’t.”

“Girl, you know I won’t say a thing, but I think you should. You and Nick were always so close. I bet he cares as much for you.”

“No, you are wrong, A. He and I were just friends. Nothing more. He wouldn’t love someone like me.”

“Someone like you? What do you mean someone like you? You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, D. You’ve been the one person I could always turn to.”

Dottie felt the tears clog her throat as she fought back a sob. “No, you have been the only person I could turn to. Through the whole mess with Jake, you never once abandoned me, like so many people did. Like Nick did.”

Amy lightly shook her friend. “How can I make you see that they didn’t abandon you? I wasn’t going to throw this on you now, but you have to know.” At Dottie’s questioning glance, she continued. “They all tried so hard to get into see you. They came to me day after day telling me they needed to see you. I told them that you were so hurt, I wasn’t going to mention it to you, about them wanting to see you, until I thought you were ready. I think you are ready now. Dottie, if it hadn’t been for them, the truth wouldn’t have come out. Nick figured it all out and Howie is the one who weaseled a confession out of Jake. The rest of the guys had a hand in it, but those two really out-did themselves in trying to free you. They knew you were innocent, girl. They knew.”

For the first time in over a year, Dottie cried. Really cried. Amy held her friend tightly as she let all her pent up emotions spill out. When Dottie finally calmed down, she pulled back, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I have to see them, A. I have to see Nick.”