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Chapter Twenty-Nine
Point of View: Kevin


"You'll never believe who called me today."

I was balancing two grande coffees, three bags of groceries, a gallon of milk, and a box full of mandarin oranges. "What?" I asked, pinching the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I used the very tips of my fingers to fish my house keys out of my pocket.

"Nick called me," Brian's voice was incredulous.

I dropped the keys. They hit the porch, bounced once and some how - like a game of plinko on The Price is Right - slipped through the crack in the boards and disappeared into the underworld. "God damn it." I dropped the oranges and gallon of milk to the floor and lowered the coffee on the ledge of the porch.

"Kev?"

"Nick called?" I asked, "Impressive. What makes you rate?"

"Well, as he worded it, I think deep shit."

Only Nick could articulate like Nick. I knelt down, "What'd he want you to think deep shit about?" I asked, pressing my eye to the slot the keys had gone down. Lord only knows how they'd fit. I squinted into the darkness. They were chilling in a pile of dirt and rocks and cobweb two feet under me.

"His girlfriend," Brian answered, "Apparently, he's worried about her self esteem."

"Yeah I'm sure she needs it," I muttered, remembering Krystal's smug expression on the newspaper clipping from the boat incident. "She seems like a real broken creature, let's all coddle her." I rolled my eyes.

"I have no idea, I haven't met her," Brian said, "But he's all worked up wanting to make her feel better about herself..."

"So what's he gonna do, buy her a menagerie of luxury items so she can steal his credit card and go spend all his money? Maybe steal the car..." I was being sarcastic, "Smack him across the face, give him a bloody nose just before the show, start enough rumors going around the Internet to keep the fans and their lil fan fiction websites buzzing for months...?" I was referencing an ex of his.

Brian sighed, "I know.. I was thinking it sounded familiar too."

"I met the girl, Brian," I said, struggling to stand up and knocking on my own house's door. I sighed and dusted my knees, "I can tell you right now, she's using him. Mark my words. She wants to be a singer or an actress or something and she's gonna stay with him until he makes it happen, then she's gonna go break his heart and shack up with Kenny G or something."

"Dude, nobody shacks up with Kenny G," Brian said, "Except maybe Yanni."

Kristin opened the door and blinked in surprise when she saw it was me. I smiled. "What happened?" she asked.

I pointed at the ground, "I won at Plinko." I handed her one of the coffees and raised my own to my mouth. "Look, Brian, I dunno, maybe she'll shack up with Justin Timberlake or one of his posse, I have no clue what she's into for dudes, but I'm telling you right now, this thing with her and Nick? It's never gonna last."

Brian sighed, "I just hope he doesn't go getting hurt out of the deal. You know Nick..." he paused, "And Kev, he's got me worried. Do you even remember the last time it'd been a month between me and Frackolas talking? I mean... we used to talk everyday."

"Exactly," I said, "She's gonna break him."

"So what do we do?" Brian asked.

Kristin was looking at me, concerned. "I dunno," I answered, "But I for one am not going to stand around watching it happen..."

Brian sighed, "Well maybe we can all talk about it next week when we start recording again."

"Yeah we'll see."

"We'll see?" Brian asked.

"I'll bet'cha a hundred bucks right now that he cancels the session," I said.

"Why?" Brian asked.

"Because," I said, "She's trying to keep him away from us."