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Chapter Thirty-One
Point of View: AJ


I was so looking forward to recording with the fellas. It was going to be one of my first recording sessions since rehab, and I was excited to go through the process sober. I couldn't imagine how fresh and exciting our work would be after all the time apart. I was just pumped.

I was on my way to the studio when my cell phone rang and I picked it up. "Yo, speak," I answered it. "Sup?"

"AJ? It's Kev."

"Yo K-Dawg," I greeted my older brother, "I'm on my way, no worries."

Kevin sighed, "The session's kind of cancelled."

"Cancelled?" I asked. "Why?"

"Nick can't make it."

"Why?"

Kevin fell silent. "I think we need a band meeting."

"Is he okay?" I asked, concern rising in my voice.

"Oh he's fine."

This didn't sound good. Not good at all.

I sighed. "Well when are we doing the meeting?" I asked.

"Now."

"But you said Nick can't ma--"

"Nick isn't invited."

This didn't sound even a little bit good.

"...Where?" I asked hesitantly. I was suddenly not sure I wanted any part in this meeting.

"My place. See you in ten." He hung up the phone.

I sucked in a deep breath. In Backstreet World, I've discovered, we never have any non-drama. Even our fans constantly have drama. There's never just a time of simply being happy...ever.



Kevin answered the door and ushered me in. I'd parked behind Brian and Howie, the last one to arrive. It felt weird being with the other guys without Nick around to annoy and pester us. I kind of missed his obnoxious blonde ass. Kevin, however, looked very somber. He sighed heavily as we sat down around his living room.

"What's going on Train?" I asked.

Kevin sighed, "I have some concerns," he said, "About Nick's current girlfriend."

"Concerns?" Howie asked. He raised an eyebrow, "What kind of concerns?"

"Well," Kevin licked his lips, "Nick's girlfriend, Krystal, is a little..." he paused. "Well, she's crazy. She's damn crazy..."

"Is this the bitch he stole the boat with?" I blurted out.

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, and-- well, she's convinced him not to tape with us."

"What?" Brian looked up, worry on his face.

"He wants to put the album on hold," Kevin continued, "And he wants to take a break from BSB. He says he feels like he has musical goals that differ from ours."

I felt kinda cold. "He's quitting the band?" I asked, scared. I mean, honestly, what the hell were we without Nick? Nick was a huge part of the package and personality of the Backstreet Boys. Without Nick we were just... I dunno, we were Nickless.

Kevin sighed, "Not yet, but honestly I'm worried it's coming. I mean, he's wrapped around this girl's fingers..."

Howie rolled his eyes, "Maybe you guys are overreacting?"

"Wait, is he doing a solo record?" I demanded. I felt wounded, like I'd been shot through the chest. A solo record instead of taping with us, his brothers? He always loved taping with us. What was different?

Well, I'd broken his hand, for one.

I didn't wanna think about that. But it was hard not to. Could Nick be taking a break from BSB because he didn't want to see me?

"I think so," Kevin muttered. "We all know Nick's not musically strong enough yet to pull that off right. I mean yeah it'll sell because he's Nick, but it's not going to be an artistical acheivement by anymeans..."

I focused on my sneakers.

Even on this side of rehab, it's hard to stay positive sometimes. This was one of those times.

"She's trying to keep him from us," Kevin growled, "She's bad for him. You realize in the last five months since he met her she's been arrested twice, him once; they've both been on the cover of several tabloids for everything from theft to general drunken stupidity..." He looked at me, "And after you just went through all you've gone through..."

I swallowed. If only Kev knew how fucking bad I wanted a drink right about now, maybe he wouldn't look at me so sympathetically.

Brian was cracking his knuckles absently, eyes downcast. "I'm more worried about him than about us," Brian said quietly, "I mean I feel like we need to be supportive to him, no matter what she does to take him away from us, because..." he sighed, "I don't know. I just don't want to see him fall apart."

"And Nick's delicate. Brian's right," Howie said, "It wouldn't take much to send him off."

"We need to break'em up," Kevin muttered, smacking his fist into his palm.

Brian sighed. "I dunno Kev, I think we should just... be supportive."

"Unless we take action around here," Kev snapped, pointing at me, "Things get put into the back burner until they explode in our faces."

I knew he was referencing the night he and I fought smack-down style by the bus in Boston two days before I got sent to rehab back in July. I squirmed.

"What if we sit back and let Nick just float along in this without helping him or warning him?" Kevin demanded, "Aren't we just as guilty for ignoring it as we would be for doing it?"

"But breaking them up is extreme," Brian said.

"And kind of immature," Howie intoned.

Kevin let out a stream of exasperated sigh, "Fine. Watch him throw it all away. It's all of our careers he's fucking with though, not just his."