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Chapter Fifteen

Kevin’s hands shook as he took the stage, looking out into the empty venue. In just two hours, it would be filled with fans screaming for LFO. Him and the Boys would be getting ready to take stage themselves. The sound check from the day before hadn’t turned out so well. There were a few last minute kinks that they had to work out before the show. They’d all been asked to meet there early to get things organized and together. Preparation was key to putting on a good show. He knew that from past experience. There had been too many disasters, which had been a result in not being prepared, or other things. Looking down as his still casted arm, Kevin knew that his temporarily useless body part was a result in how things turned out when things weren’t resolved before taking the stage.

“Hey Kev, you alright?” Brian asked, coming up behind his cousin, looking at him strangely, “You’re a little pale.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kevin answered, “Something I have to talk to the group about once everybody is here.”

Brian nodded. He had a feeling that Kevin’s stature was partly due to what he had to announce. He hoped that it wasn’t anything bad. Then again, if it was, Brian would be the first to know. Deciding not to push the issue until the other three Boys arrived, Brian began to mess around with some of the sound equipment.

“I’m here,” Nick announced, bounding over to Kevin and Brian. Again, Kevin wondered if Nick ever ran out of energy, “Whatcha wanna talk to us about?”

“Ill tell you once everybody else is here,” Nick informed him.

“Please tell me?” Nick whined

Kevin shook his head, walking away. Nick must have gotten the hint because he didn’t push the issue for once. Kevin took a quick peek behind him. Nick had retreated to pestering Brian. Kevin chuckled. At twenty-three, the boy still had a lot of growing up to do. He had matured a lot over the past decade though.

Kevin thought about the conversation he’d had the night before with the band. He had asked them if it was possible for them to do the song, and they’d experimented with the drums and guitars, coming up with the perfect version of the it. It sounded the same, but with a twist that made it sound different. It had a definite Backstreet twist. It was exactly what Kevin had been looking for.

“Sorry we’re late,” Howie called as he and A.J. ran on to the stage, “Got stuck in traffic.”

“Liar,” Kevin grinned, “There is hardly any traffic out at all.”

“There is at McDonalds,” A.J. laughed, “We were hungry.”

“Of course,” Kevin rolled his eyes good naturedly, “When are you not?”

The two looked at one another and then back at Kevin. His good mood wasn’t something that they were used to. It was a pleasant change.

Seconds later, Brian and Nick, the other best friends duo ran over to them, anxious to hear the older members announcement.

“So,” Nick asked, “What do you have to tell us? You promised you would tell us when everybody was here,” Nick looked around for a moment before saying, “It looks like we’re all here.”

“What?” Howie asked, looking around, “We missed something.”

“Not much,” Nick told him, “He wont tell us anything.”

Nick stuck out his bottom lip in a helpless pout. Kevin laughed at his impatients. It was especially funny seeing child like look in his eyes. It was one of hopefulness that they wouldn’t be kept in the dark any longer of his secret.

“I guess I can tell you,” Kevin said, pausing for a long time. The group was all antsy wondering exactly what was going on, “There’s a little change in the show tonight.”

His four brothers looked at him in confusion. Brian raised an eyebrow as the others just looked lost.

“Nothing changed for you guys,” he let them know, “Just for me. There’s a song added in to the show…a solo I’d like to do…if that’s okay with you guys.”

He looked to each one of them for their approval. The four looked at one another, wondering what Kevin was up to.

“What song,” Howie asked.

“You’ll see…if I get all of your approval, you’ll see.” Kevin told them, playing secretive on purpose. If he acted like that, his chances were better because they’d wonder exactly what he had up his sleeve.

“I guess it’s okay with me,” Nick was the first to speak.

“Me too,” A.J. said

“Eh, why not,” Brian told him.

The rest looked to Howie who still had not answered. He paused, shaking his head. His four friends faces fell, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. An unintentional smile broke out onto his face.

“Go for it,” he told Kevin.

Kevin thanked all of them. His plan was definitely going to work. There was no backing out now.

The Boys continued to work with the sound, finally getting it just right. Before they knew it, LFO had gone on stage, sang, and was off. Time flew by and what seemed like seconds later to Kevin, they were going out onto the stage. Nick started singing his part of the first song as the dancers did the thing that they were so good at. Kevin tried as hard as he could not to look at Adonica the whole time. He and the guys all danced as they sang, becoming exhausted quickly. He couldn’t wait until just after intermission. That’s when he would sing his song. It was all worked out and in to the schedule.

The group sang their songs, keeping up their energy. Screams erupted from the audience, and girls tried to grab at them. The words came from Kevin’s mouth during some of his solo lines, but his mind wasn’t on the show. He knew the word so well though that he didn’t have to pay attention one hundred percent. Kevin had to say that it was probably one of their best efforts. The show was just about half over. A lot could happen before the end. The Boys finished up their last song, running off of the stage for their five minute break to devour water and wipe the sweat off of their faces. Kevin closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He was getting nervous about what was lying right ahead. And then the time came, flashing right before his eyes when the crew came and told them that it was time to take the stage again. The guys all wished Kevin luck, the dancers looking at him clueless because they hadn’t been told anything. Kevin ran out on to the stage as the screams grew louder again. Kevin held a hand up, trying to calm everybody down. As soon as the commotion had died down a bit, Kevin began to speak.

“This wasn’t originally in the plans,” he said, “But, I’d like to sing a little song that I enjoy. Some of you might recognize it. Other, you might not. It is fairly new, but not one of Backstreet’s own songs. So, here it goes.”

Smiling, Kevin took in a shaky breath as he motioned for the band to start playing, and he started singing:

What are you doing tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive


The screams had turned deafening, and he had to say that this was turning out pretty well. Kevin took in a deep breath before he started in on the chorus

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait...I already am


Kevin felt his voice start to crack and was thankful when a slight pause from his singing came. His emotions were getting the best of him while he sang, thinking about Adonica, causing him to choke up. He wiped a tear away, hoping that it appeared to be sweat to those up close to the stage. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kevin knew that he had to continue and finish what he had started.

I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life


The chorus came up again quickly, and Kevin sang it as if the song had been written especially for him and about his feelings of being non-existent in the eyes of Adonica.

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait...I already am


Kevin knew that the end of the song was ending. He was planning on giving it his absolute best effort and ending with flying colors. Opening his mouth, he started to sing the rest of it, finishing up.

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...


If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait...I already am


Screams erupted from the audience, telling Kevin that he’d done a remarkable job. He looked to the side of the stage and saw his four group members staring at him, their eyes wide in shock. Brian was the first to movie, smiling and giving his cousin thumbs up. Kevin smiled back, slightly breathless. He’d gotten it all out into the open, and it felt great.

“Thank you,” Kevin yelled out, “And now, on with the rest of the show.”

The remainder of the concert went extraordinarily well. It went by with few, if any minor mistakes. And before Kevin knew it, they were off of the stage, the fans one by one leaving the venue.

Once in the dressing room, that’s when the comments began to come in from his solo performance.

“That was amazing,” Brian told his cousin, “How did you get to sing it though?”

“Asked permission,” Kevin stated simply.

“You know, you have got it so bad for Adonica,” A.J. commented, “I think she is the only one who didn’t realize why you were singing it.”

“She did,” Kevin said with confidence, “Somewhere in the back of her mind, she did. I know it.”

A.J. and Nick both snickered a little, Brian and A.J. just smiling at Kevin as he dried his freshly showered hair. It took him a moment to realize that the entire group was staring at him.

“What?” he asked.

Looking at one another, nobody spoke. They just found the whole situation rather amusing. Kevin actually went to the extremes of singing a song for Adonica in front of thousands of people.

“You are pitiful,” Brian spoke up, “Absolutly pathetic.”

“Thank you,” Kevin chuckled.

Nothing was going to get him down. After awhile of teasing Kevin, and razzing him about what he’d done, the other guys left, saying that they were going back to the hotel. Kevin had some business to take care of: mainly thanking the band for cooperating with him for the night. As he took the stage again, he looked around for the band members, not seeing them anywhere. He stopped, wondering where they could have disappeared to.

Kevin looked up to the sound of footsteps and saw an extremely angry Rich charging at him. His footsteps were falling heavy against the wooden backstage area. Kevin took in a deep breath, preparing himself. He was in for it…again.

“That was a nice little stunt you pulled out there,” Rich commented, his voice cold, his tone loud. He was near yelling.

“Excuse me?” Kevin asked, keeping a straight face.

“Do you ever give up?” Rich asked incredulously

“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked calmly, pretending he had no idea where Rich’s intentions were headed.

“With Adonica,” Rich said, “That song.”

“It’s just a song,” Kevin shrugged, “It meant nothing.”

Rich rolled his eyes, snorting lightly. Kevin realized that he wasn’t buying in to it. He hoped that he could convince him otherwise.

“We all know it had special meaning,” Rich said, rolling his eyes.

Kevin really was not liking the man’s attitude lately. He’s started out being decent and friendly, but ever since jealousy had taken over him, he was turning into an overbearing, demanding control freak.

“Look,” Kevin said, standing up and staring at Rich, “I have no idea what you’re talking ‘bout, dawg.”

“Listen,” Rich warned, his voice frigid, “You’d better stay away from Adonica. I mean it. Don’t force me to beat you up again.”

With that, Rich walked away. Kevin stood, dumbfounded. He had no regrets about the song he’d recited earlier. What he did regret was that things hadn’t turned out to go nearly as well as he had planned in the end.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alaura bit her lip as Devin crawled in to bed with her, kissing her lightly on the lips. She had been acting distant ever since the day before, not knowing how to break the news to him. She knew that she had to though. She’d made up something when he asked how her doctors’ appointment had gone. She couldn’t live that lie forever though and she knew it.

“What’s on your mind, baby?” Devin asked, sensing that something was wrong.

Alaura sighed. She knew that she had to tell him, and soon. The sooner, the better anyways. Taking a deep breath, Alaura started to slowly speak.

“You know my doctors appointment?” she started.

Devin nodded, taking her hand and tugging on it. Alaura snuggled closer into his side, taking the hint.

“It’s more than just the flu,” she told him, “In fact, it isn’t the flu at all.”

Devin looked at his girlfriend, trying to understand what she was about to get at. Alaura wished that she could avoid this conversation. She might wake up single in the morning. If only she hadn’t gotten carried away with A.J.

“See,” she said slowly, “I kinda am pregnant.” She just said, deciding that procrastinating would only make things harder.

“That’s great,” Devin exploded with a grin, having the same reaction as A.J, except for the fact that he was forgetting one important detail, and seconds later, he figured out what that was, “Wait,” he said, “We’ve never had sex before.”

Alaura looked down, ashamed. Tears were clouding her vision. Devin didn’t say anything for a really long time. She was sure that he was about to break up with her. She didn’t blame him. She had lied to him, and now she was going to pay for it. She knew that she deserved whatever punishment he handed out to her.

“What…when…who?” Devin stuttered, unsure of what question he wanted to have answered first.

“That one night…when you were mad at me. A.J. and me got carried away,” she started, and then quickly said, “It was all my idea. He tried to stop it. It was so upset that you were ignoring me though. I let things to too far.”

“It’s too soon to tell,” he said incredulously, “You can’t know these things in days.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Alaura informed him, “But thanks to modern technologies…” her voice trailed off, her sarcastic tone lingering in the air.
“Have you told A.J. yet that it’s his?”

Alaura nodded, “He’s completely supportive and said he would help take care of it…but not in a relationship with me. We don’t see one another in that way.”

Devin nodded, sucking in his breath.

“I should have known,” he said, “I was foolish to believe nothing happened between you two.”

Alaura felt the need to defend herself. Her head shot up as she glared at Devin. She didn’t know how to express how he was making her feel.

“I’m not some sort of slut,” she defended herself, “It…it should have never happened.”

“That isn’t what I meant,” Devin told her, “Not at all.”

“Care to share what you did mean then?”

“I was such an ass. I shunned you and ignored you then kicked you out of your own room. Honestly, I don’t blame you for doing it.”

Alaura recoiled, confused by him acting so calm. Especially since he had been acting like a mad man, just days early over the same scenario.

“I’m really sorry,” Alaura apologized, her voice growing quieter, shaking slightly, “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Devin put a finger to her lips to get her to stop talking. She looked up into his eyes and saw softness and forgiveness. She didn’t see hate or anger. Well, maybe a little bit of hurt, but not much. He smiled at her.

“So what now?” Alaura asked.

“You’re about to become a mother,” he said, “Unless you decide to put it up for adoption, or abortion.”

Alaura shook her head, “Definitely not abortion,” she said, “As for adoption, I really don’t know. This is all still so surreal to me.”

Devin nodded, understanding. Even though he wanted so badly to be upset with her, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to overreact and do something that he would regret later on. Besides, he was coming to grasps that you couldn’t change the past. What was done was done, end of story.

“So, are we over?” Alaura asked softly.

Devin laughed, and Alaura didn’t know what he found to be so funny. She pulled away from him, sniffling, putting her hands on her hips from her sitting position.

“What?” she asked

“I’m not breaking up with you, baby,” Devin said, “It’s not something worth ending our relationship over. I love you too much.”

Alaura felt her heart flutter at his words, surprised as she was. They made her feel so good and secure. Devin smiled reassuringly at her, telling her that he wasn’t bluffing and held his arms out. Alaura scooted back over to him, falling into his arms and wrapping hers around him. The hug was so warm and comforting. It made her feel like everything was going to be okay after all.

“I love you too, Dev,” Alaura whispered.

Devin pulled away, kissing her lightly, tucking a strand of her dark brown hair away behind her ear, wiping her tears away with his forefinger.

“You know,” he said, “This baby is going to be mightly lucky.”

“Why do you say that?” Alaura asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Simple,” Devin told her, “It’s going to have the best mother ever and two fathers that care about it more than anything.”