Chapter 123

After a few minutes of silence, Nick says, “I’m glad you can talk to me about it, Elaine. I know it has to be hard for you.”

I take a shaky breath and say, “I can’t believe I am. When the doctor asked me about it at the hospital, I couldn’t put two words together.”

Nick says, “I’m glad you trust me enough to know you can tell me anything. I don’t want you to hold it in. I want you to share it with me.”

I sniff and say, “Nick, if he had…if one of them had raped me, I don’t think…”

He stops me and says, “No, we’re not thinking about that. It didn’t happen. You’re safe and Eva’s safe. That’s all we need to focus on.” He’s quiet for a minute, then he says, “The doctor said that you may have moments where you’re ok to talk, then other times when you just want to be left alone. Elaine, you have to tell me when you need me to back off. Don’t let me upset you or hurt you ok?”

I sigh and say, “I know you won’t hurt me Nick. The only place in this world I feel safe is with you.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, Sweetheart,” he says. Then he lifts me into his arms and lays me on the bed. Sitting beside me, he says, “You need to try to eat something. What would you like?”

I shake my head and say, “I don’t know.”

He picks my hand up and plays with my fingertips, saying, “What if I call Rosa’s and have your all time favorite sub delivered.”

We both hear my stomach growl, which shocks me. He raises his eyebrows and I say, “I guess that means I’m hungry.”

He smiles and says, “I know you’re not really feeling it, but you need to eat. Do you want anything with it?” I shake my head no, and he says, “Are you sure? You know you love their home made chips.”

The look on his face is absolutely adorable. It’s what we used to do to Will to get him to eat vegetables. When I chuckle, the sound surprises us both. He smiles and I say, “I guess chips would be ok.”

Tucking my hair behind my ear, he says, “I’m happy to hear that laugh. I know it’s hard right now.”

I sit up and we’re face to face. I look into his eyes and I say, “Nick, I love you. I know I may drive you crazy clinging to you, but I feel safe with you.”

He runs his hand up and down my arm and says, “I know you love me, Elaine. I love you too. More than anything. Whatever you need me to do for you, I will.”

I slide my hand along his jaw line, feeling the stubble where he didn’t shave this morning. I rest my hand on his neck and lean closer to him. I slide forward and wrap myself around him.

He holds me tightly, my hair tickles his jaw as rest my head on his shoulder. When I hear him sigh, I say, “Nick, the policeman suggested I see a rape counselor. Will you go with me?”

He kisses my neck and buries his face in my hair. He whispers, “Yes, I’ll go with you.”

I lean back to look at him. Tears are in his eyes and I lean up, gently kissing them away. When I look at him again, I say, “Nick, the only thing that got me through this was knowing you love me. Being with you is all I want. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He smiles and says, “I’ll always be here for you.” He holds me close and we sit quietly together. When he pulls back to look at me, he says, “Let me go order dinner. Do you want dessert?”

I shake my head no and he says, “OK, I’ll be right back. When he starts to get up, I grab his hand. He looks at me and says, “I’m just going to get my phone.”

I sniff and say, “I know. Can I go with you?”

He smiles and says, “Sure, come on.”

He holds my hand as I stand and we walk through the house together. I sit close to him as he orders the food. Once he’s placed the order and given them his credit card number, he hangs up and turns to me. When my eyes meet his, he says, “What do you want to drink?”

I say, “Ginger ale sounds good.” He gets up to walk into the kitchen and he sees me chewing on my lip. He holds out his hand and says, “Let’s go.”

I stand up, looking relieved, and I say, “I’m sorry.”

He says, “Don’t be sorry. I want to keep you with me too, but I don’t want to push you.”

When we make it to the kitchen, I sit on a barstool as he pours my ginger ale. I say, “Nick, I’ve never felt like you were pushing me. I just feel safe with you. I feel more in control.”

He says, “Just remember, whatever you want to do, do it. If you want to be alone, tell me. If you want me with you, tell me. Right now is about doing what needs to be done so you feel safe and secure.” He sets my drink in front of me and says, “What do you want to do?”

I say, “I need to check on Eva and Michelle.”

Nick says, “I just talked to Brian, Eva’s ok. They were ordering a pizza.”

Before I can say anything else, someone buzzes from the gate and I almost jump out of my skin. Nick steps closer to me and says, “It’s just the gate Babe.”

I take a deep breath and say, “OK. I’m ok. Go ahead.”

He says, “You’re sure?”

I don’t want anyone seeing me looking the way I do, so I say, “Yeah. I’ll get out plates. I’m fine.”

When he leaves the room, I stand and walk over to the cabinet where the plates are. I take out two and set them on the bar. I grab napkins and put them by our plates, then, before I can chicken out, I pick up the phone and call Alexa.

She sounds so upset. All I manage to say about Eva and I is that we’re ok. Then I ask her about Michelle. She tells me Michelle is ok, just a mild concussion and she’ll be back on her feet in a few days.

I say, “Alexa, can you just clear the schedule this week and we can re-group Monday?”

She says, “Don’t worry about work. John’s doing much better so Jane’s going to come and help me clear up what I can. Just concentrate on yourself and Eva.”

I feel myself starting to lose it and I say, “Thanks Alexa. I’ll call Michelle tomorrow.”

After I hang up, I walk to the patio doors. I’m standing there looking at the pool when Nick comes back into the room. He says, “You ok?”

I say, “Yeah. I called Alexa. Michelle’s ok. Jane’s going to go in and help her clear up things so we can re-group Monday.”

He says, “Good. Now, let’s eat.”

I say, “Nick, I don’t know if I’m really hungry.”

He says, “Sweetheart, you haven’t eaten since breakfast. You don’t have to eat it all, just try, ok? Just a little.”

He starts taking the food out of the bag. I walk over to him and lay my head on the back of his shoulder and say, “Why is it so hard to tell you no?”

He turns and drops a kiss on my nose, saying, “Because I’m adorable and you love me. Now, sit. Let’s eat.”