~ 21 ~

Laura

Date: May 29th, 1999

Time: 5:45 A.M

Place: Philadelphia, PA (nine days after the emergency landing)

+ Nick +

“Just remember what I told you, Nick. It’s no use, just try to make things easier for the people you love.”

My eyes popped open once more. This time there was a hint of sunlight coming through to the shed, only a hint but enough for me to know that we had survived another night in this place. Also a horrible reminder that soon Howie and I would be left to fend for ourselves since Randy decided we were too risky to keep around.

I almost left on my own last night. As soon as I heard D snoring softly, I walked to the door, opened it and even took three steps outside before chickening out and coming back. The last thing I ever wanted was to put the people I love in danger. Laura reminded me of that as she took her last few breaths. I should’ve listened to her back then and just went off on my own, but just like now, I didn’t have the courage. So, instead I ventured back to find the guys. They were so relieved when I walked back into the warehouse.

God that felt like such a long time ago, how many days has it been?

“How long have we been here?”

Howie rolled towards me without opening his eyes, “What?”

“How long have we been here?”

“Clara’s?”

“No, in general. How long has is been since we landed in the hell hole?”

Opening his eyes, he sat up and worked a crick out of his neck. “I don’t know, maybe a little over a week?”

“Jesus, is that all?”

“How are you feeling?”

I still felt like crap on a stick but at least I wasn’t shivering anymore. It’s easier to mask not feeling well if you can hide the symptoms. “I’m doing better. I think the aspirin really helped me out.”

“I hope they changed their minds about us leaving.” He was now sitting up and staring at Clara and Randy as they both continued to sleep. I could tell that after I dosed off, Howie stayed awake worrying about what today was going to bring.

“Do you think we’ll ever find them?”

“I hope so, Nicky.”

“What if we don’t’? Charlie said we only had so long before we were stuck here for good.”

“I know, I’ve been thinking about that and I think we need to consider finding our own way to New York and hope that the other guys have done the same.”

Even though I knew that was coming, I wasn’t really prepared for it. By moving on without them, weren’t we just conceding to the idea that they were dead? I didn’t argue with him, mainly because I just didn’t have the energy.

I am so tired and weak I barely am able to move. Just getting up and taking those three steps out the door took everything I had last night. We’re talking a lot more than three steps this time. We’re talking miles and miles of snow covered roads. I’m not going to be able to do this.

“What’s wrong?”

I glanced over at him and saw him staring.

“You look like you’re about to cry. Are you in pain again?”

“I’m fine, just a little tired and overwhelmed I guess.”

He smiled, “I know that feeling.”

A sudden flurry of activity outside made us both suddenly stop talking and look towards the window. Howie quickly stood up and made his way over as did Clara and Randy who were both woken up by the sounds of people screaming outside.

“They found us.” Randy said, stumbling over his feet as he ran for a gun.

“What’s going on?”

Clara turned towards Howie, “You two need to go. They’re here doing random checks and if they find the boy it’s not going to be a good thing. Quick, go now!”

I didn’t have time to process what was happening before I felt myself being dragged to my feet and ushered out the door. The woman who looked so much like my grandmother, pulled me into a hug and handed me a bottle of aspirin, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to give you.” Then she turned to Howie, “God bless the two of you. Stay off the main roads and you should be safe. Go to the back of the shed and head into the woods. Don’t let them see you!”

Randy pushed past us and nearly knocked me down, “Clara we need to get inside and act like nothing is going on. Boys, take care, now you best get moving before they see you.”

“Why are people screaming?” I tried to ask but by then we were already out of the shack and heading towards the woods.

Not only were there screams but also shots being fired randomly. The worst part was not really being able to see what was happening. We were too far in the back of the house to catch what was really going on and I think maybe that’s a blessing in disguise.

“Maybe they won’t come back here. Maybe they’ll see that the house was burnt and not think to check their backyard.”

I was hopeful that was the case, and then we could just turn and go back inside. It was cold out here and even though it had stopped snowing, there was still enough of it on the ground to make my feet numb.

“Why didn’t they come with us?”

“Because they are going to be safe, they live here so it’s a matter of just proving it to whoever they are.”

“What if that’s not good enough?”

Howie gave me a look which signaled that I should stop talking. The shots were getting closer as was the sound of a mob. Howie pulled me back by the shoulder and because I was so weak I fell to the ground.

“Sorry!” He said as he knelt down beside me.

We were behind a huge tree just as they came around the bend. There must have been about ten of them, all carrying guns and wearing fatigues.

“Military?”

“Shh”

They didn’t knock but instead kicked down Clara and Randy’s door. That’s when Howie pulled me up pretty much by my collar and got us moving further into the woods.

“We have to get out of here!”

Once again I tripped over my feet and fell to the ground, grimacing in pain when I landed on a broken branch. I felt it dig into my knee and cut it. “Nicky, come on!”

He helped me up again and we continued to move along. I have never seen Howie this scared. His eyes were wide and lips were thin with worry. The screams coming from the shed in the distance didn’t help and neither did the sound of two shots being fired. We both stopped at that point.

“No!” I screamed. I didn’t mean to scream it, believe me, but I couldn’t help it. The fact that maybe Clara and Randy were killed because of us was a too much to deal with. I think we were too far away to be heard at least I hope we were. But the shots and screams…it was all too familiar. My memory wanted to take me away back to Laura, shortly after this all happened to the day after we met up at the warehouse with Charlie.

“Howie…”

“They’re fine, Nicky…”

“But…”

“We have to keep moving.”

He put his head down and continued to walk but at a slightly slower pace. I did my best to follow him as thoughts of Laura once again flooded my mind.

I had just woken up from my nap and felt like I needed a breath of fresh air. I tried looking for the guys but none of them were around. Frantically I made my way outside, hoping they’d be there. But instead of seeing them, I saw her. She was standing on the opposite side of the street with a deep smile on her face.

I felt myself drawn to her, so I made my way across the street almost falling on a patch of ice that had accumulated on the ground. 

 “Hey!” I tried to sound older and more macho than I was.

“Hi.”

I felt connected to her for some reason. She looked my age and seemed as lost as I felt. I extended my hand out to her, “I’m Nick.”

“Laura.”

“Nice to meet you.”

She smiled but then began to cough. “Are you okay? Maybe we should get you inside.”

She put her hand up, “No, I don’t belong here. I just wandered away for a second. That’s not my home.”

“Oh.” I suddenly felt uneasy. Up until that point, I just kind of assumed everyone lived in that one place like a happy little communal. I backed away from her just as a sound of a crowd was heard turning the corner.

“Come with me!” She said, grabbing my hand.

“I should just go back inside.”

“There’s not enough time, they’ll see you!”

I had to make a quick decision, something I was very unaccustomed to. I grabbed her hand and let her lead me away from the warehouse and into a small alleyway. From there we ventured to the dead end and climbed over a dumpster. My legs were still really hurting so it took her helping me to get over it. We both fell on the snow covered ground. I was on top of her and rolled off.

“Sorry!”

She quickly stood up, “We need to keep moving, hurry!”

I didn’t understand why we were running or who we were running away from, but the urgency in her voice made me forget about my pain and follow her out of the alley and onto another street.

After running for a bock and a half, I had to stop. “Wait!” I called out to her. She turned and walked back towards me. “We need to keep going.”

“I can’t leave my friends. They’re probably looking for me right now!” I was starting to panic knowing the further we got the less chance I had of finding my way back.

“Friends? There’s no such thing as friends. They don’t exist anymore.” She said that with so much honesty and certainness in her voice I almost believed her.

“I need to go back.” I started walking towards the alley we had just left when the voices we heard earlier made their way around the corner.

I managed to stay out of site but it was too late for Laura, so she looked at me, smiled and then ran.

Howie’s hand on my shoulder brought me back to the here and now. “Nicky, we need to keep moving!”

I nodded and followed behind as best as I could. Every step I took became harder then the last. I felt like my legs were made of led. The shivering had returned and I’m pretty sure with a high fever to accompany it. I bent down, grabbed some snow and used it as a buffer for the four aspirin I forced down my throat.

I felt like we were far enough away from the shed that we were safe. I doubt anyone was following us so I found the nearest log and sat down, almost losing Howie completely in the process.

It took only a few minutes for D to realize I wasn’t following him before he turned around and walked back towards me. “Nicky, what are you doing? We have to keep moving. We can rest later.”

“I can’t do it.”

He sat beside me on the log. It was wet and cold but I didn’t care, it actually felt good against my warm body. “Why? What’s wrong with you?” He looked me over, “You’re shivering again.” Then he placed his hand on my head, “You’re burning up.”

“I can’t do it, it’s no use.”

He was looking around frantically. I’m not even sure what for. It’s not like suddenly there was going to be a car or a hotel or something. We were in the middle of the woods. He stood up and made his way over to a few broken branches. “Maybe I can make a stretcher and pull you along.”

I gave him a look and despite how grave the situation felt I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea. “Howie, you can barely open a Snapple bottle without help. How are you going to make a stretcher?”

He didn’t find any humor in the situation, “I can’t carry you. You’re too heavy for me.”

“I didn’t ask you to. I just need to rest.”

He looked over towards the way we came. I know he thought it was a bad idea. If they were following us, there was no way we’d escape. I was perfectly aware of that.

“Okay, just for a few minutes though.” He said sitting down beside me once again. Taking off his jacket and wrapping it around me.

I tried to protest, “It’s too cold for you to give this to me.”

“You need it more than I do at the moment. I’m fine.”

Howie D was always looking out for me, always. As we sat there in silence, I felt this sense of finality. It wasn’t peace or anything like that, just felt like an ending to a chapter or a book. It was weird and I didn’t like it much so I broke the silence.

“Did I ever tell you about Laura?”

He looked over at me as he rubbed his hands together and blew on them to keep himself warm. “No, who is that?”

“Remember when I left the warehouse?”

“How could I forget that?” I could tell he didn’t want to revisit that place but I had to.

“I met a girl, her name was Laura.”

He gave me a knowing and sad nod, “The one who died?”

“Was killed, yes.”

“I know whatever happened to her, you blame yourself, but it wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was. I could have helped her, but I didn’t. I just watched…” I felt the tears falling down my face as I remembered.

They ran after her and I just stood there debating what I should do next. It would have been so easy to just turn around and head back to the warehouse, but I couldn’t do it. She saved my life so I needed to do the same for her. I ran after them. I was pretty slow because of my legs and the snow and ice. I had a hard time catching up. By the time I did, she was already on the ground. They were kicking her and hitting her with baseball bats on the body, mostly her stomach and side.

She didn’t scream out for help or yelp in pain or anything. She just laid still and occasionally put her hands up to shield her face. Luckily they never aimed for her head.

I was just about to make my move when I saw them take out knives and begin stabbing. I have never seen anything like it before in my life. Not even in the most horrific gory movies and believe me, I’ve seen my fair share of those. The knives they used weren’t the ones you see the bad guys use in the slasher flicks. No, they were using small knives. The ones you’d use to cut up apples and oranges. They kept jabbing them into her as if she was a pin cushion. Not even caring where on her body they stabbed.

I just stood there, unable to move and just watched. It’s pretty much like how I pictured hell to be. A paralyzing fear came over me and all I could do was watch them cut her until eventually they stopped. They went into her pockets and took out something and then stole the shoes right off of her feet.

When they turned to leave, I ducked down so I wouldn’t be seen.

“I walked over to her and there was blood everywhere.” I turned to look at Howie, “It was awful.”

He had a sympathetic look on his face but also he seemed uncomfortable. In a different place and time, he would have pawned me off to Kevin by now. There was only so much gloom and doom he could take. D was used to living on the bright side of life, which is one of the reason’s I love him so much.

“Was she dead?”

I shook my head, “I knelt down beside her and just started crying and held her hand. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m so sorry, Laura.”

She gulped. I could tell it was getting harder for her to breathe. “Don’t be.”

“I’ll go find you help.” I went to get up but with the strength she had left, she pulled me back down.

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

“But you need help, you’re bleeding…”

“I’m dying.”

“No.”

“Just stay with me.”

I nodded at her. I wasn’t sure what to do. She closed her eyes and her breathing became shallower. I knew she was getting closer now.

She opened her eyes and said, “The best thing I did was run away from my family.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because that’s the way it is. Sometimes you have to make huge sacrifices. You’ll know when the time is right. You’ll need to stand up and be brave.”

She took one more deep breath, “Just remember what I told you, Nick. It’s no use, just try to make things easier for the people you love.”

“After she died, I just kind of walked in a daze. I don’t even know how I made it back to the warehouse…”

I looked over at Howie once more and he had tears in his eyes. It surprised me a little to see.

“Is that why you stopped talking to us?”

I nodded, “There really wasn’t anything more to say after that.”

He pulled me close for a hug but our moment was cut short when sounds of breaking branches and footfalls became very apparent.

“We have to go!” Howie stood up and motioned for me to do the same but my legs were rubber and I just fell over.

He tried pulling me up but I was dead weight.

“Just remember what I told you, Nick. It’s no use, just try to make things easier for the people you love.”

“Howie, you have to go. Just leave me and go!”

“What? No way!”

“You don’t have time to argue, they’ll be here any minute!”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

I took off his jacket and threw it at him. “Go! I’ll be okay. You can find me later, just go!”

He looked towards the sound. They were getting closer. I knew I wasn’t going to make it but there was no way I was going to let him get caught.

“I can try to get you on my back!”

I smiled at him, no matter how hard that was and how scared I was. “Howie…”

He shook his head adamantly as his tears started to flow, “I can’t Nicky, please don’t ask me to.”

“It’s okay. Go and find the others then you can come and find me.”

They were coming into view now. If he didn’t move fast, he was going to be seen. “Go!”

He kissed me on the forehead and ran for cover just as the men with guns came into full view.