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~ 39 (b) ~

 

 

 

 

 

Suffer the Children

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+ AJ +

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was so angry, I couldn’t even believe it. It wasn’t so much anger I felt as I grabbed that knife and headed down the steps, but more hatred. I hated this guy for killing my friend and I hated him for coming back here. What was he thinking, showing his face here after what he did? Maybe he was asking to be killed. I was more than happy to oblige. I was going to kill this kid and justice would be served.

 

 

 

“AJ wait!”

 

 

 

I knew if I hesitated even for a second, I wouldn’t go through with it so I ignored D and headed out the door where Nick looked surprised to see me and then terrified when he saw the knife in my hand.

 

 

 

I started to run towards him but then felt the impact of Howie’s tackle as I fell, the knife flying out of my hand as I hit the snowy ground.

 

 

 

“Get the fuck off of me!” I screamed.

 

 

 

“Not until you calm yourself down!” D was straddling me like I was a horse. I tried to roll him off of me but he was too strong so after a few seconds of struggling, I just gave up.

 

 

 

“Fine…”

 

 

 

“You sure?”

 

 

 

“Yes, now get off of me!”

 

 

 

He rolled off of me and I stood up. I was sure by now the other Nick would have fled but he was just standing there watching us from the very steps he killed our Nick on. A new wave of hatred for this kid over took me as I walked towards him.

 

 

 

“You better get the fuck out of here before I kill you with my own bare hands!”

 

 

 

He took a step back and fell onto the stoop. “Look, I’m sorry…” He put his hands up as if he was surrendering. “I just came back to say I’m sorry.”

 

 

 

Howie was standing behind me as I took another step forward, “Sorry? Are you fucking kidding me? You KILLED Nick! Sorry isn’t going to cut it!”

 

 

 

“I had no choice.” He was crying now and I hated the way he looked and sounded just like our Nick. “It was either him or me.”

 

 

 

“He was worth it, you aren’t.”

 

 

 

“AJ!”

 

 

 

Howie sounded appalled and acted as if I stepped over a line. Maybe it was harsh, but who cares? This guy wasn’t Nick. He looked and sounded like him, but he wasn’t Nick.

 

 

 

“Maybe you’re right but I’d like to think I was worth it too.”

 

 

 

“You are, Nicky…” Howie walked past me and towards this fucking little murderer. “Of course you are.”

 

 

 

“I just wanted to make things right. I’m sorry for what I did.” He was full on crying now, I’m talking hysterics.

 

 

 

Suddenly I found myself feeling sorry for this guy. He looked and sounded pathetic as he sat there crying on the front steps. Howie placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder, “Let’s go inside before we all bring more attention to ourselves.”

 

 

 

“What?”

 

 

 

Howie turned towards me, “We are being too loud.”

 

 

 

“I know, but we’re not bringing him in the house.”

 

 

 

“We can’t just leave him out here.”

 

 

 

“Yes we can.”

 

 

 

“AJ…”

 

 

 

“Howie, this fucking guy KILLED Nick, doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

 

 

 

I knew those words were going to hurt more than any stab wound but they were out of my mouth before I had  a chance to take them back.

 

 

 

“Of course I care about that. You don’t think it bothers me that Nicky is dead and that he did it?” He pointed over at the other Nick who just sat there silently.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry.” I said, going in for a hug only to be pushed away. I deserved that, I guess.

 

 

 

“We can’t just leave him out here.” He turned towards Nick again, “Let’s get you inside and warmed up then we’ll figure out what to do.”

 

 

 

After a brief hesitation, Nick nodded and allowed Howie to help him up and together we all walked into the house and up the steps. By the time we arrived, curiosity got the best of Kevin who was sitting in the kitchen waiting for us.

 

 

 

“Hello again.” He said to Nick as we walked inside and Howie led him to a chair.

 

 

 

I looked down at Kevin’s hands to see if maybe he was holding a knife of his own. Maybe he would finish what he should have done in the first place, but there was nothing there.

 

 

 

“I’m going to go get us some towels so we don’t freeze to death.” Howie smiled and then left the room.

 

 

 

Kevin slowly approached Nick and sat down beside him.

 

 

 

“I wanted to say how sorry I am for killing your friend. I didn’t want to do it.”

 

 

 

“Then you shouldn’t have.” Kevin’s answer was stern and it made me glad. I was happy to know I wasn’t the only angry one here.

 

 

 

He nodded, “But you said if I lived he would die. I had to.”

 

 

 

“You did what you had to do to survive but he was our brother. He was only 19.”

 

 

 

“I know. He’s me, remember?”

 

 

 

How could we not remember? The way he looked and sounded just like Nick. They had the same exact mannerisms and gestures right down to the nervous worrying of his fingers on his sweater and shaking of his leg. How could this be happening? While our Nick, the real Nick was lying dead in the other room.

 

 

 

“You guys look and sound just like my…it’s weird, this whole thing.” He said looking up briefly but then back down at the table.

 

 

 

“What about your family?”

 

 

 

“I don’t know; most of them were dead. All of our families were…” He stopped not wanting us to know the bad news. “Then after they killed the rest of the guys…well you… and took me, I lost all contact with the outside world until your friend rescued me.”

 

 

 

“Why didn’t they kill you?”

 

 

 

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, just like our Nick would when asked to remember something he’d rather forget.

 

 

 

“Because I was moldable.”

 

 

 

“What does that mean?” Howie asked as he walked over and gave each one of us a towel.

 

 

 

“They take kids here.”

 

 

 

“I know, but why?”

 

 

 

“When I was imprisoned, I was with a bunch of kids my age and younger. They kept telling us that we were the future of this new country. They played us these terrible videos all day and all night long, showing us people who were being killed for resisting them.”

 

 

 

He stopped for a second to wipe his face with the towel. He wasn’t wet but I think he just needed to pause from the story for a second.

 

 

 

“Kids saw their families being slaughtered just because parents tried to rescue them or fight back. Every day we saw nothing but death and then right before bed they’d always ask us if we were ready to be one of them. Everyone that said yes, were brought out of the room and we never saw them again. The people that didn’t answer just had to endure more videos.”

 

 

 

“You didn’t say yes?”

 

 

 

He shook his head. “I saw them kill my big brothers…” He then looked me right in the eyes, “I saw them kill you. I wasn’t about to say yes to a bunch of monsters.”

 

 

 

“So what happened next?”

 

 

 

“Eventually they stopped with the videos and just wouldn’t let us sleep. All night long they played recordings of animals being slaughtered. It was the worst sounds I have ever heard, the cries and yelps of helpless animals. I would just lie on my cot with my hands over my ears willing it to all go away.”

 

 

 

“Why didn’t they just kill you?”

 

 

 

“I wish I knew.”

 

 

 

“They would feed us only once a day and left the lights on full blast all day and all night long. Five people killed themselves. One of them was only about 13.”

 

 

 

“Jesus Christ.”

 

 

 

“This went on for months and months.” He started crying again but this time, I felt for him. I felt the breaking of his heart and I no longer hated him.

 

 

 

“I couldn’t take it anymore so I said yes. They congratulated me as if it was my graduation day or something and then they led me out of that room and into the main prison where you found me.”

 

 

 

“They just left you alone at that point?”

 

 

 

“No, all day we did nothing but train. I learned karate, self defense, how to use a rifle and…the way to kill someone with a knife.” He placed his hands in his lap and shut his eyes when he said that.

 

 

 

“Every few days they would take a bunch of us and send us out to other places. I don’t know where.”

 

 

 

“So, its kids we’re fighting against, American kids?”

 

 

 

He nodded, “For the most part. One of the older Canadian guys is in charge but yes, its kids they send out to do their dirty work. They feel like we are easily molded for the job and have nothing left to lose.”

 

 

 

“Are you saying that there are a ton of kids still at that prison?”

 

 

 

Nick nodded, “Yes, not as many as there used to be.”

 

 

 

Howie looked concerned, “We have to let Matt know about this.” He turned to Kevin and I. “We can’t let them blow up the city knowing there are hundreds of innocent kids in those prisons.”

 

 

 

“Blow up the city?”

 

 

 

Howie ignored Kevin and continued talking, “I’m sure if he knew about the kids, he’d reconsider.”

 

 

 

“What are you talking about, D?”

 

 

 

Kevin seemed as confused as Nick who once again looked down at the kitchen table for respite from his memories.

 

 

 

“They have this plan, after we go…AJ will fill you in, I have to go tell Charlie!”

 

 

 

Both Kevin and Nick looked over at me for answers so I gave them the really short version. We leave, city goes boom and evil guys lose. Oh and lots of people die in the process.

 

 

 

My version seemed so much easier than the real plan.

 

 

 

When I was done, I was expecting a different reaction then I got. “That seems like a great plan.” Kevin said and Nick nodded in agreement.

 

 

 

“It would really weaken their defenses. As far as I know, everything they do comes out of New York. If they managed to really blow everything up, it would give the people a chance to fight back.”

 

 

 

“If they go through with the plan, everyone will die. Charlie said so. This place is wired to do the ultimate amount of damage. No survivors anywhere in the five boroughs, including Charlie and everyone else.”

 

 

 

“And me…” Nick whispered as the realization of his impending doom hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

 

 

“Of course not you, you’re coming with us…” Kevin said so matter of factly that I actually got angry.

 

 

 

“How is that going to work?” I asked.

 

 

 

“We take him with us; that’s how it’s going to work.”

 

 

 

“And what about our Nick?”

 

 

 

“What about him?”

 

 

 

“You know the plan Kevin, everything is timed to the second it has to be the five of us.”

 

 

 

“Yes,” He pointed to Nick, “He makes five.”

 

 

 

“We’re just leaving Nick here?” Ever since he died, the plan was to still take him home with us, home to his family, who deserved to give him a proper burial.

 

 

 

“AJ…” Kevin paused and rubbed at his temples, “Nick is dead.”

 

 

 

“Because of HIM!” I said pointing to the kid who I once again hated.

 

 

 

“Maybe so, but still…we can’t just leave him here to die.”

 

 

 

I wanted to. Lord knows I wanted to just leave him here to die, but Kevin was right. I hate myself for even fucking agreeing with him, but he was.

 

 

 

“If I could bring your Nick back I would AJ, I really would.” He whispered in his stupid Nick voice.

 

 

 

The moment was broken up by everyone walking into the kitchen. “Tell us everything you know!” Don said taking a gun and pointing it at Nick.

 

 

 

“You don’t need that, Don. He’s on our side.” Kevin said as he got in the direct line of fire.

 

 

 

“How can you say that?”

 

 

 

All eyes turned to the bedroom where Brian emerged, “How can you say he’s on our side? He killed my best friend.”

 

 

 

“We’re running out of time. We need answers now.” Charlie said looking at the clock and then back at Nick.

 

 

 

“Tell us everything you know.”

 

 

 

“I can only tell you what I’ve heard them talking about.” Nick said while looking directly at Brian. They seemed to be having a staring contest.

 

 

 

“Fine.” Don answered, lowering his gun.

 

 

 

Nick nodded and began to tell us the story of how it all began

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

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