“Can’t you just cancel your plans and come with me?” Brian complained to his wife. He hated being alone on the road. Ok so, he wouldn’t be alone but he would be without someone to love him. Brian used to word love loosely. He was a very affectionate person and loved to demonstrate affection to others and have others demonstrate affection to him.
“No Brian, you’ll be fine. The time will pass quickly. Before you even know it I’ll be finished with my work and flying out to join you.” She tried to reassure him as he pulled into a parking space. Her hand reached over and gently rubbed his knee.
“Whatever.” He huffed under his breath removing his seat belt. He then quickly got out of the car causing her hand to drop abruptly.
As he began to remove his luggage from the back of the car Leighanne got out and went back to meet him. “Here, let me help.”
“I got it. It’s fine.” He said pulling the last bag away from her before she could grab it.
“Well at least let me walk you in.” She looked hurt as she watched him close the trunk.
“No, I’m a big boy.” He told her and then spun to look at her. He knew she was upset but part of him didn’t care.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She spoke softly lifting her hand to rub her other arm. Her eyes traveled down to the ground.
“No, I’m sorry Leigh. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m just angry that you’re putting your stuff ahead of me.” Brian rolled his eyes as he spoke. He often rolled his eyes when apologizing when he didn’t really mean what he was saying. In this moment Brian was just trying to avoid waterworks and a lecture over the phone later.
Leighanne had not noticed the rolling of Brian’s eyes due to the fact she was looking down. She assumed then that Brian was being sincere and replied. “It’s ok babe. I know being away from me is hard for you. I promise you’ll be fine. Trust me.” She gave him a warm smile.
He forced one back, “I got to get going.”
“Alright, I love you baby.” She stepped forward wanting a hug.
Brian didn’t want to hug her but he knew he needed to so he did. “Love you too.” He almost mumbled and pulled away.
Leighanne wasn’t very convinced but decided to let it go as she watched him grab his bags and walk away.
Inside Howie, Alex and Nick where sitting around talking while Kevin was saying his last goodbye to his wife, Kristin. Aaron was going over a few last minute interview changes with one of his staff members.
“So Howie, tell us all about him.” AJ asked.
“Him?” Howie questioned.
“Well, your boyfriend.” Nick came.
Howie shook his head ‘no’ and shifted in his seat as Brian began to near them. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” Howie admitted then continued not seeing Brian. “Like I said last night, I’ve dated two guys but after…” Howie stopped himself from saying too much. “Well, I just haven’t dated anyone since my last boyfriend. I haven’t had the desire to commit to anyone.” It wasn’t anyone’s business that he had gotten his heart broken by some guy who claimed to care but actually had a girl he was planning to marry.
“Oh…” Brian trailed off making his presence known.
“What’s a ‘matter B? Thinking’ you might be gay?” AJ teased.
“No!” He quickly shot.
“Don’t worry Rock. We won’t tell Leigh.” Nick cackled.
Howie just shook his head as Brian quietly took a seat next to him.
“Hey Bri,” Aaron smiled walking over.
“Hey AC,” He smiled back.
“Where’s Leighanne? Didn’t she want to come to tell you goodbye?”
“No uh, we said our goodbyes outside.” Brian replied suddenly looking awkward.
Howie shot him a strange look as he picked up on the sudden awkwardness.
No one else seemed to notice.
Brian looked nervously at Howie before turning away as he felt two large hands on his shoulders. They belonged to Kevin.
“You all ready? They’ll be letting us board the plane any second.”
They all nodded and agreed they were ready to go and almost instantly heard someone announce that they could board now.
Silently Brian boarded the plane. He had so much on his mind. He was supposed to love Leighanne to the ends of the earth and back again. He did love Leighanne but he wasn't so sure it was to that extent. It seemed as though his love for her would fade with distance. He knew it shouldn't be that way.
As he sat down he drew his left foot into the seat and hugged his knee with both arms. Turning his head to look out the window on his right he sighed inwardly. He didn't even bother to look around the cabin to see who was sitting where, like he normally did. He just wasn’t feeling good emotionally.
A few short minutes, later he was snapped from his thoughts by a voice asking him what was wrong. He had been so zoned out he didn't even hear who the voice belonged to. Turning his head he was shocked to find the voice belonged to Howie. Brian was close to all his band mates, except Howie. He liked Howie. Howie was like his brother as were the others but... they just weren't close. This is why his concern shocked Brian.
"What?" Brian finally asked coming back to reality.
"Are you alright? You seem bothered by something." Howie repeated. He looked truly concerned.
"I uh... yeah. I'm fine." Brian was a terrible liar. It was probably due to the fact he didn't lie often.
"Are you sure about that? I mean you seemed pretty upset when Aaron asked about Leigh."
Brian sighed and looked away. Howie started to assume that Brian didn't want to talk about it, just before he could stand up Brian sighed deeply and said, "We just aren't what we used to be... I guess."
"You guess?" Howie asked confused.
Brian wasn't sure what took over him, but he began to open up to Howie. He had never done that before. Deep inside he just felt suddenly comfortable. "She puts her work over me. I have needs and she doesn’t even seem to care. It's not right."
Howie took a deep breath letting the information soak in, as the plane began to speed down the runway. "Well, have you tried telling her that she isn't meeting your needs?" Howie knew it wasn't his business as to what Brian's needs were so he chose his words carefully.
"I don't know. I mean, I told her I needed her but not that she’s doing what I need her to do." Brian replied. It did make sense. Leighanne couldn't fix something she didn't know was broken. He wasn’t sure she would care but it was worth a try.
"Ok then, tell her. Let her know what you needs are and what she could do to meet them. I'm sure she'll be more than willing to give you what you need."
Brian took a deep breath and nodded slowly, as he turned his attention back to the window. He watched as the ground fell away and the buildings below slowly shrunk. Maybe some time apart was just what they needed to solve this problem. Time heals all wounds, right? He looked back at Howie to find him drifting off to sleep.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Date: 1-22-01
Location: The airport parking lot
Location: The airport parking lot
