Chapter One - A Diamond in the Night Sky
What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
The moon was high in the sky. The boat rocked with a gentle caressing motion that should have lulled a normal person to sleep. I rolled the stem of my wine glass in my fingers, watching the red liquid in the flute slosh up along the sides but not so far that it would spill over.
My windbreaker flapped against my arms as the breeze kicked up and tossed my uncombed strands of hair to and fro. I brought the glass to my lips and filled my mouth with the ruby liquid, holding the taste on my tongue for as long as I could before I swallowed it down.
Two years. That's how long it had been since I had been on a boat. The place I had rented it from had insisted on a refresher course, but it hadn't mattered. The moment I stepped aboard the small two-person watercraft, everything had come back to me. I made quick work of the preliminary preparations to set sail. My only baggage were a few change of clothes, three bottles of wine, a case of water, a fresh loaf of bread, and a package of cheese. It was enough to survive.
At the moment, survival was as high as I dared to aim.
They had asked me for a return date. I couldn't give them one. My credit card was on file; it could be charged each day without a problem. Money didn't consume my thoughts. My thoughts were consumed with escaping; returning seemed like such a foreign idea.
The real reason for my departure caused my shoulders to ripple in tension as I sat on the deck with the stars shining down from above. I took another sip of wine, my eyes closing. I brought my knees up and pressed my forehead against the hard bones.
Even with miles of beautiful blues surrounding me, I could feel her coming back for her nightly haunt. As the breeze picked up, my skin felt her lips pressing gently right below my ear, her lips curved into a sexy smile. Tears burned at my eyes; my heart began to beat faster and I let out a cry that echoed in the vastness around my small vessel.
Never before had a woman captured my heart like she had. Being without her was like being deprived of oxygen. Every smile was forced, every breath was labored. I wasn't whole any more. I wasn't Nick Carter.
I was adrift.
With the feel of her caress running down my back, I downed the rest of my wine. Standing up and turning in a slow circle.
Some had concluded I had gone crazy. Others, the ones that knew me best, reasoned I was suffering a broken heart. My family couldn't have cared one way or another. They hadn't liked her. It wasn't for lack of trying; Lord knows, she tried. But they just couldn't see what I saw.
Suddenly, I stopped turning. It was my first night on the boat. I had promised myself that I would do it the first night. It would make the days that followed that much easier. I stepped towards the safety railing and looked down. The dark waves slapped against my boat. I inhaled the salty air. My hand ran along the lump in my pocket. My fingers slid into my pocket and wrapped around the circular band.
I held the ring up to the moonlight as I slowly licked a tear away from the side of my mouth where it had suddenly stopped. The large diamond sparkled. I could almost see the promises trapped inside.
"As God is my witness," I choked. "I will never forget you."
I pressed the stone to my lips and, with my eyes swimming in more unshed tears, I tossed the ring into the night. I couldn't see its trajectory, but off in the distance I heard the plunk as it hit the water. With the heavy realization that it was finally gone, I slid down to the wet deck floor and I began to beat my head against the rail, my hands grabbing at my shirt as if my heart was tearing its way through my chest.
Deep down, I suppose I was expecting instant closure. I hadn't expected the sheer panic that gripped my chest and made me want to throw myself overboard. Regrets came heavy. I should have been on that plane with her. She never would have been on it if I wasn't gone all the time on tour. And now...now I would never seen her ring again. What had I done?
As my head began to throb, I threw myself down on the deck. I listened to the sound of my own breathing. I had never felt so helpless. I had taken the biggest risk of my life with her. We had been paving a path together. I didn't know how to continue without her by my side.
If you would have asked me at that moment if I would ever recover, I would have vehemently said no. How could I have anticipated a new journey with the rising of the sun? How could I have known that tossing Lauren's ring overboard was the beginning of something new even though the memories clung to me like a second skin?
I would have never thought it possible that a trip to a seaside diner and a waitress with a broken arm would be the answer I was looking for. I was just a hungry singer who had been up all night crying like a baby. I had just wanted the all-you-can eat pancakes...
Story Notes:
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Song lyrics are from "The Ghost of You and Me" by BBMak :)
Song lyrics are from "The Ghost of You and Me" by BBMak :)
